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Watergate

(seaQuest DSV, hallway)
Ortiz: How come you always give me this type of duty?
Ford: Because I'm your commanding officer.
Ortiz: Come on. When I signed on to seaQuest I thought it was going be about science not entertainment.
Ford: Well, when it's not about science it can be very entertaining. Besides, you come from a show biz family, Miguel. Your dad was in television.
Ortiz: My dad was a television repair man. Besides, the USO show? seaQuest is not a tour bus and I'm not a tour guide. Why doesn't she take a plane?
Ford: Well Ms. Tonin believes the air is the sovereign domain of birds. She's an environmentalist.
Ortiz: She's a nut, Commander. Last year she married a tree.
Ford: Well you get to do stuff like that when you're a big rock star.
Ortiz: Do you ever listen to her music? That cutsie, new-agy, I'm your buddy, hug me kind of thing with that milkshake voice of hers. There was a warning from the Surgeon General.
Ford: The troops stationed on Solitaire deserve a little R & R.
Ortiz: They're surrounded by white sand and palm trees.
Ford: Give it up. You might even like her, she's cute.
Ortiz: Fat chance, I'm a meat eater.

(seaQuest DSV, science lab)
Lucas: Solitaires weight should be consistent with our projections given the traditional Mediterranean land masses but I've been running the numbers and I haven't come up with a figure that makes any sense yet.
Piccolo: Hey what difference does it make how much an island weighs? I mean doesn't it fall under the same category as how many strippers can dance on a bar room table?
Brody: That's angels on the head of a pin, Tony.
Lucas: Actually Solitaire is not an island, Tony. It's a mountain. One of the tallest in the world. I mean you put it next to Mt. Everest and it's almost twice the size.
Piccolo: That's high right?
Lucas: For most of us, yeah.
Brody: But why weigh it?
O'Neil: Because it's sinking. Three meters every hundred years. The landmass is to heavy to be supported by the Earth's super structure, and the whole area is becoming seismically unstable. So in about a million years, the whole place is going to be underwater.
Piccolo: There goes the real estate market. Hey guys come on, the universe is expanding too. And one day, boom, it'll break apart. The big bye bye. Our planet hosts cosmic toast, so what's the point of living right? Life is senseless. A fool's folly, a moment's sunlight fading on the grass, a biological coincidence failing in some distant future dawn. (they all just look at him) Yeah I tried using that one to get out of doing my science homework. It didn't work then either.
O'Neil: Tony, could you go lie down or something.
Brody: So, O'Neil, why us? What are we going to do about it?
O'Neil: Oh well, seaQuest is going to core through the mountain like an apple. We're gonna start digging at the base, laser scrub the interior, dredge it out and lighten it up.
Piccolo: I thought it was going to be something hard, like spelling.
O'Neil: Relax, it's going to take at least a hundred years. seaQuest's job is just to start the first step.

(seaQuest DSV, Docking bay)
Ortiz: Ms. Tonin?
Sara: Sara. Hi.
Ortiz: Hi. Sensor Chief Ortiz.
Sara: Don't tell me, I have to call you Sensor?
Ortiz: No. Miguel..ma…Tiz. Whatever. Ah, where's the rest of your entourage?
Sara: This is it. Thanks for giving me a lift though.
Ortiz: Sure. Here let me get this.
Sara: I've got it. Thanks.
Ortiz: You know, I've recently become a really big fan of yours.
Sara: Oh, that's nice. Thank you.
Ortiz: I really like that one song, the one their playing now. Which one is it?
Sara: Power Love.
Ortiz: No. The one with the guitar in the middle, the guitar thing.
Sara: Keeper of the Flame.
Ortiz: No. The one about the people who don't know each other but fall in love anyway.
Sara: Sleepless Nights.
Ortiz: That's it.
Sara: It's not my song. Nice try though.
Ortiz: Hey took a shot.

(seaQuest DSV, science lab)
Lucas: I'm still not getting a weight estimate consistent with the data.
O'Neil: Did you try rotating the composites.
Lucas: Yeah. This can't be right.
O'Neil: What?
Lucas: Well you see these figures?
O'Neil: Yeah.
Lucas: They support that it's hollow.
Piccolo: The island?
Brody: It's a mountain, Homer.
O'Neil: Lucas, this data doesn't suggest that it's volcanic.
Lucas: No, it suggests that it's man made. It's got unpredictable geometry. The computer's been extrapolating the form, it looks like a pyramid.
Brody: What, you mean like in Egypt?
Lucas: Yeah, encrusted with millions of years of soil and rock. But that's what it appears to be.
Piccolo: Is that good?
Lucas: It depends on who built it.

( Ward Room)
Bridger: A pyramid.
O'Neil: Well, yeah. Sort of. I mean, that's what it looks like.
Lucas: Well it is a mathematical shape, captain.
Bridger: This thing is the size of Manhattan. That's a little preposterous don't you think?
Lucas: It's very preposterous. And it's the size of Ohio.
Bridger: Yes, and the sun is pulled over the sky by a chariot and Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
Lucas: Okay, we don't know that it's man made exactly, but the mathematical values are correct. You don't find that in nature. I mean the pyramid is perfect, captain. I ran the measurements all the way to the end of my computer and it's the closest thing I can get to infinity.
Bridger: Perfect math?
Lucas: In theory, yes. But we don't have the capabilities yet, so I can only speculate.
Bridger: How old do you think it is?
Lucas: Old. I've been trying to carbon date our lab samples but they keep coming up goose eggs. If I had to put a date on it, well, I'd say…I'd say it pre-dates time, sir.
O'Neil: Yeah. The first thing, before the very beginning of the very first thing.
Bridger: I got the concept, Lieutenant.
O'Neil: Aye, sir.

(Sara's Room)
Sara: (singing)(knock on door) Come on in.
Ortiz: Hi.
Sara: Hi.
Ortiz: I didn't see you at Mess, so I thought you might be hungry.
Sara: Thank you. Just let me finish this, okay?
Ortiz: Oh, I'll leave.
Sara: No, stay. Please. (continues singing and makes a face at the end as if she's not really happy with the song.)
Ortiz: That was beautiful.
Sara: Thank you. It's a little new yet, but we'll see. (sets down her guitar.)
Ortiz: No, I mean it. It was. Did, did you just write that, like just now?
Sara: Ah, sort of. Yeah. Sometimes they just kinda…come out. But this one…god knows where it's coming from. It feels really old.
Ortiz: Like, like Pearl Jam.
Sara: Almost ancient. But I feel as if I have to write it, you know. Like it's the reason I'm taking seaQuest to Solitaire instead of plane.
Ortiz: I thought you didn't fly because of the birds.
Sara: I don't fly because it makes me throw up.
(Ortiz laughs.)
Sara: You, uh, you're not really a fan are you?
Ortiz: Are you kidding…huge! (Sara just looks at him.) Actually I'm kind of a banger. You know, like if you're ears aren't bleeding it isn't music. But I think it's really nice what you're doing. Performing for the troops and all.
Sara: Well it'd be nicer if we didn't need them, but until then I guess someone has to sing for the soldiers.
Ortiz: Yeah. (gets up to leave)
Sara: You know, if anyone wants to hear me rehearse, it's fine with me. I enjoy playing in front of people, it keeps me honest.
Ortiz: Well that'd be nice, I'll spread it around.
Sara: Thanks.
Ortiz: (opens the door to leave, but pauses and turns back to her) Did you really marry a tree?
Sara: (laughs) No, it was just a one night stand.
(Ortiz leaves and she laughs a bit more.)

(Shower Room)
(Wendi and Henderson are taking water-less showers and talking about Sara.)
Henderson: I don't know what the big deal is. I mean, Sara Tonin? Please.
Wendi: Well maybe Nora Penifrin was already taken.
Henderson: You know the media gets a hold of some kid, hands them a guitar, gives them some name cooler than cool ever was and we're supposed to think she has all the answers to life. She's not even that pretty. And I think she's older than she says, I mean, 23? No way.
Wendi: Well don't sugar coat it for me, tell me how you really feel.
Henderson: Do you like her music?
Wendi: Yeah, I do.
Henderson: Why?
Wendi: It comes from the heart. I think it's honest.
Henderson: It comes from a team of songwriters locked in some room, somewhere who write exactly the stuff that everyone wants to listen to, and then they say she wrote it. Come on Wendi it's all colored lights and hype.
Wendi: What's up with you?
Henderson: What?
Wendi: You're not like this. You don't even know this lady and you've done nothing but trash her since you heard she was coming aboard.
Henderson: I have not. I'm just not a fan.
Wendi: I think you're jealous.
Henderson: Come on!
Wendi: I do.
Henderson: Hardly.
Wendi: Then stop pounding on her. Okay?
(Wendi leaves with Henderson staring after her.)

(Holographic Chamber)
(Captain Bridger is discussing the mountain pyramid with the computer Reverend.)
Reverend: Maybe it's about God, Captain.
Bridger: You don't mean the old bearded guy with the big golden book?
Reverend: How else could one explain such a phenomenon? A pyramid that size, apparently ageless. It's incomprehensible.
Bridger: Well I usually try to save the God answer for the last resort.
Reverend: But we all believe in him don't we? I mean, in our own way, perhaps, but we do. And even if we are scientists, an argument can be made that science is God.
Bridger: Or God is science.
Reverend: I've never asked you this before, but are you religious?
Bridger: Well, in that I have faith, you could say so, yes.
Reverend: I always find it amusing that there are such specific differences. The same God wearing so many hats. A thousand religions confusing the same man. Which religion are you, Nathan?
Bridger: My own, I guess. I believe in a unity, a purpose in the cosmos, and on occasion I call that God.

(Sea Deck)
Lucas: Seismic activity is rising in the southwest quadrant. The region is unusually unstable given pre-existing data.
Computer: Seismic indicators have increased 347%.
Lucas: Looks like we've got an undersea earthquake on our hands. (continues working.)

(Performance Room)
(Sara is practicing and a few of the crew members have come to listen to her.)
Sara: (singing) To ease her grief with comfort, to say something. To turn her hurt and pain away, sighs often…
Ortiz: Is this lady great or what?
Ford: Sure if you like that cutsie hug me buddy, love me kind of thing.
Ortiz: I'm just listening to it with a different perspective now.
Wendi: I didn't know that perspective had ears.
Ortiz: Lady's a genius.
O'Neil: With great legs.
Ortiz: Everybody's gotta stand on something, Tim.
Wendi: (to Tim) Sit. (laughs)
(Henderson has been taking all this in from the back of the room. She seems really angry and leaves.)
Sara: (still singing) She obeys him, she goes back, to his fleece. To his fleece.
Dagwood: Is this the part where we clap?
Brody: I hope so, I'm falling asleep.
(Sara finishes and everyone claps.)
Sara: Thank you.
Piccolo: Come on lady, rock the house.
(Suddenly Sara drops her guitar, and closes her eyes. When she opens them she looks possessed. She speaks in a very deep voice. Everyone stares at her in shock.)
Sara: Osede, Tate onta, tate somina, prote onta, dorra, pose tonas, dokiea, hatea ota bellea, hitas danas focus.
Piccolo: I haven't hear this one. What album is it off of?
O'Neil: You don't want to know.
(Sara passes out.)

(Med Bay 12)
(Sara is now lying in bed. She's talking in her sleep. Wendi is monitoring her.)
Sara: No. No please, I don't want to go. No! I don't want to. No! (she wakes up)
Wendi: It's okay. It's okay. You're fine.
Sara: What happened?
Wendi: You fainted.
Sara: I did? I never faint.
Wendi: Well you did, right in the middle of your performance. What language was that? (Sara gives her a blank look) The words you were chanting was another language. It sounded almost like a man's voice. That's quite a range. Is it new?
Sara: But I only sing with my voice.
Wendi: Well then you've got a hell of a baratone. I think you're suffering from exhaustion. How's your diet?
(Ortiz comes in.)
Ortiz: It's awful.
Sara: Don't start.
Ortiz: Roots and berries. What she needs is a cattle fanny sandwich. How ya feeling?
Sara: A little spooky but I'll be okay.
Wendi: You two know each other?
Ortiz: Yeah. I'm running for President of Sara's fan club. You know, love the singer, hate the song. (to Sara) You scared the bananas out of Piccolo. He's waiting for your head to start spinning around. But, hey, I'm a banger, I loved it.

(Captain's Quarters)
Ford: Let's not get carried away here guys. I mean she's a rock star. They stay up all night, they pierce themselves with safety pins, they get tattoos, they trash hotel rooms. I mean the lady fainted, big deal.
Lucas: Yeah yeah, maybe. But that weird voice spewing out that language. It sounded like the Devil.
Ford: Come on, one of those rock guys used to bite chickens heads off on stage.
O'Neil: I recognize the language.
Ford: Yeah, the translation is buy my album, send me money.
O'Neil: That's not exactly the translation. It's obviously Greek, but the language is ancient. It's over a thousand years old. It's the language of the Greek myths. You know, Apollo's tongue, so to speak. If you believe in Apollo.
Bridger: Do you?
O'Neil: I'm Catholic, Captain. I believe in anything that makes me nervous.
Bridger: What was she saying?
O'Neil: Well, ah, okay…That is that has been and all that is about to be knows all by the God Neptune's grace, who's heard of monsters and hideous seals he pastures in meadows submarine.
Ford: That's it?
O'Neil: That's all I could get.
Bridger: What do you think it means?
O'Neil: I'm not sure.
Lucas: Well maybe we have to play it backwards. You know, I mean bands do backward masking all the time. Sing a bunch of Satanic stuff to freak out everybody's parents.
O'Neil: Lucas, Neptune isn't about Satan. He was the Greek God of the sea. He wasn't a bad God. Anyway Neptune predates the Devil in Christianity. He also invented the horse.
Ford: He invented the horse?
O'Neil: Hey, I didn't write it I just read it in High School. He's also the God of Earthquakes. He'd stick his trident in the ground and shake it.
Ford: Oh that's very scientific. Let's hope he doesn't flush the toilet.
Lucas: Captain, I've been monitoring Solitaire. The seismic activity is increasing.
Ford: Guys, come on, a lady fainted.
O'Neil: Or she was channeling. Communicating to us from far beyond.
Ford: Far beyond what?
O'Neil: I don't know…time? Space? Another dimension? I don't know.
Ford: This is getting ridiculous. What's next the Headless Horseman?
Bridger: It's not so ridiculous, Commander. There have been many instances of channeling that people can't disprove. I remember one time seeing a guy who claimed he could communicate with Abraham Lincoln's wife.
Ford: Really? How did she enjoy the play? You know people have been wondering that for years.

(Later that Night)
(Hallway)
(Dagwood is cleaning the halls with a mop. He hears the sound of a horse. He looks up and a white ghost horse runs by.)
Dagwood: Hello horsy.

(Med Bay 12)
(Sara is asleep. The horse runs in and she wakes up and stares at it. It then runs out.)

(Lucas & Piccolo's room)
(Dagwood is banging on the door.)
Piccolo: Lucas, you awake?
Lucas: No.
Piccolo: Well get up.
Lucas: Why?
Piccolo: Because I wanna tell you a story about somebody knocking at your door.
Lucas: Since when is it my door?
Piccolo: Since technically I'm still a guest here.
Lucas: Yeah, and like fish they start to smell after three days.
(Piccolo gets out of bed.)
Piccolo: I shoulda stayed in the Brig. At least there you can get some sleep and nobody insults ya. (opens the door.) What?
Dagwood: (turns on the light) Were you sleeping?
Piccolo: Yeah, it's an odd habit I've had since birth.
Dagwood: Dagwood saw a horse.
Piccolo: Huh?
Lucas: That's good, Dagwood, thank you.
Dagwood: It was running in the hallway.
Piccolo: The hallway.
Dagwood: Mmmhmm. A white one. When did seaQuest get a horse?
Lucas: seaQuest doesn't have a horse.
Dagwood: We have a dolphin.Lucas: Yes, but not a horse.
Dagwood: A horse is a horse.
Piccolo: Of course of course. It was running down the hallway?
Dagwood: Mmmhmm. It was very fast.
Piccolo: Did it have a jockey?
(Dagwood shakes his head 'no'.)
Lucas: Tony…
Piccolo: Maybe I wanna put down a bet.
Lucas: Look, Dagwood, go to sleep there aren't any horses on seaQuest. At least not a whole one.
(Tony points to himself, like "me?")
(Suddenly they all hear the horse.)
Dagwood: I think that was it again.
(They all head out to find the horse. It's pretty funny to watch Lucas and Piccolo running down a cold hallway in their bare feet and underwear.)

(Henderson's Room)
(Henderson is sleeping. The horse comes in and she wakes up. She tries to back away from it. She looks in the mirror and sees snakes in her hair. She screams. The horse turns into a statue and the dissolves. Lucas, Piccolo, and Dagwood come in. The turn on the lights and go over to Henderson.)
Lucas: Are you okay?
Piccolo: What the hell happened?
Henderson: There was a horse in my room.
Dagwood: See, I told you. I bet it was a big white one.
Henderson: And I had snakes growing out of my head.
Lucas: You had what?
Dagwood: Snakes…growing out of my head.
Piccolo: Outta your head?
Henderson: Yeah.
Dagwood: Did it hurt?
Henderson: No. It felt like I was dead.
(Tony goes over to where the dissolved marble is still on the floor. He picks up a handful.)
Piccolo: What's this? (to Lucas) Next time, you open the door.

(Med Bay 12)
(Sara is now asleep again. The computer that is monitoring her goes off.)
Computer: Warning. Code One. Vital signs have fallen below acceptable limits.
(Ortiz rushes in.)
Ortiz: (into Intercom) Double Stat Alert, Med Bay 12. Double Stat Alert, Med Bay 12.
(He takes Sara's hand.)

(Sara's Mind)
(In Sara's mind we go back in time. We see the birth of the world. Then we see Sara standing on top of the ocean. She is wearing a white toga. Her eyes are closed.)

(Med Bay 12)
(Wendi is monitoring Sara. Ortiz is still there and Henderson looks on.)
Ortiz: Blood pressure 50 over 10. Her pulse is still less than 20. She's been like this for too long. I think we're losing her.
Wendi: Or she's in some kind of stasis.

(Sara's Mind)
(Sara is still standing on top of the ocean. The words that she spoke earlier can be heard faintly. Sara opens her eyes. Suddenly Neptune rises out of the sea beside her and gazes down at her.)

(Med Bay 12)
(Sara's eyes pop open and she begins channeling again.)
Sara: Osede, Tate onta, tate somina, prote onta, dorra, pose tonas, dokiea, hatea ota bellea, hitas danas focus.
(As Sara speaks Wendi and Ortiz talk over her.)
Ortiz: Oh man, I hate this part.
Wendi: That's it Sara, hang on.
Ortiz: What the hell happened?
Wendi: I think Sara was dead.
Ortiz: Dead?
Wendi: Yeah, that's unbelievable. Yeah, but now she's not, her stats are normal.
Henderson: Thank god. (Wendi turns and looks at her.) I'm glad.
Wendi: Are you?
Henderson: Wendi! Of course I am. So I'm not crazy about this lady's music, but I am human.
Wendi: You said you had snakes growing out of your head.
Henderson: I had a nightmare, big deal.
Wendi: And the horse?
Henderson: It was a big nightmare. Look, I wanna go, okay? I feel fine.
Wendi: You sure?
Henderson: Yeah.
Wendi: Okay, Ortiz would you walk her back to her quarters?
Ortiz: Sure.
Henderson: I'd like that, thanks.

"Watergate (cont.)"