Trash
(Wasteland – Day)
(Pan across a flat vista of shattered rock. Barren. Lunar. We see a man seated a short distance away on the ground. His side is to us, and he is naked. It's Mal. He lifts his head, nodding to himself as he takes in his surroundings.)
Mal: (flatly) Yep... That went well.
(TITLE CARD: 'SEVENTY-TWO HOURS EARLIER...' )
(Planet – Night)
(A large crate slams down onto the ground, hard. The two smugglers who were hefting it straighten, turning to go. Widen to see that Mal stands close by, arms crossed. A pile of similar crates lies in the dust around Mal. Other smugglers carry more crates. They are moving them from the lowered freight platform of a ship which looms overhead.)
Monty:(os) Malcolm Reynolds!
(A very large man steps off a ladder that goes up from the platform to the belly of the ship, beaming at Mal. He's a big, gut-toting bear of a man. Not pretty. Not in the least.)
Monty: Y'old son-of-a-- Com'ere!
Mal: Oh hey Monty -- (Monty sweeps a mildly protesting Mal up into a bear-hug, lifting him off his feet for a beat.) How--you--do--in'?
(Monty releases him, one mitt still clapped on Mal's shoulder, shaking it with rough welcome.)
Monty: They didn't tell me you were picking up this leg of the run.
Mal: Yeah, things were a little slow. Figured to do a little honest smuggling 'tween jobs.
Monty: Where's that sorry-ass ship a' yours?
(As they speak, Monty's crew continues off-loading the crates, passing in and out of frame.)
Mal: Monty, two boats like ours meeting on an empty rock like this, it just screams contraband to the Fed. Or have you forgotten that time you got pinched on Beylix?
Monty: (points to his own temple, nodding) Always thinking, ain't ya. Smarts. That's what you got. Smarts.
Mal: (shrugs) OK. (looks closer at Monty) Something's different.
Monty: (smiles proudly) Yup.
Mal: You look -- there's something -- (Monty strokes his chin) --the beard! You shaved off the soup- catcher!
Monty: Yup.
Mal: I thought you were gonna take that ugly chin-wig to the grave --
Monty: (chuckles) So did I. But she didn't much like my whiskers...
Mal: She--?
Monty: (calls out) Bridgit! (to Mal) What the hell am I thinking, I got to introduce you to the missus!
Mal: Monty! You've fallen from our noble bachelor ranks?
Monty: Wasn't looking to, but she kinda swept me off my feet. Bridgit!
(A woman hurries to them obscured by the smuggly bustle.)
Mal: Well, she must be a rare specimen indeed.
Monty: That don't begin to cover it. Mal, I want you to meet my Bridgit.
(And she steps out from behind Monty, smiling -- until she recognizes Mal. A beat as he and Saffron look at each other. Saffron sweeps a foot under a smuggler's leg, tripping him forward, pulling his gun from its holster as he falls, and pirouetting over his body as he hits the dirt, coming out of the spin with the gun locked on Mal's head, just as Mal's gun is flashing from his holster, locked on hers -- a Woo-off. They are frozen, Monty right in the middle, nonplussed.)
Monty: So... you guys have met. Mal -- why you got a piece trained on my wife?
Mal: She ain't your wife, Monty --
Monty: Hunh? I married 'er, didn't I?
Mal: Yeah, so did --
(Mal's cut off before he can finish, because in the instant Mal's eyes flick toward Monty, Saffron scissors up a high kick, knocks the gun out of Mal's hand. She has the drop on Mal for an instant, but doesn't fire. Mal lunges, sweeping her arm to the side, catching her wrist in his grip and squeezing hard. She drops his gun. Saffron throws her head forward, smashing into Mal's nose painfully.)
Mal: Gaaah!
Monty: Bridget! (Mal staggers back, buffeted by a series of punches from Saffron. Mal fires one punch back, catching her on the chin and knocking her to the ground.) Mal!
(She lands on her back, mostly unfazed, and instantly rolls for the gun a short distance away. Just as she almost reaches it, Mal sails in on top of her, tackling her flat.)
Saffron: Get OFF!
(She swings an elbow back, hits the side of Mal's head hard. He reels, she rolls on top of him, hands around his throat. He does the same, and now they're strangling each other. They do this for a vicious beat, until Monty stops them.)
Monty: (roars) Gorramit! That's enough! (His big hands drop into frame, lifting them both off the ground and pulling them apart. They're both breathless, Mal's got a bloody nose.) Now what the hell is goin' on here? Whaddya mean she ain't my wife?
Mal: She ain't your wife... cause she's married to me.
Saffron: (also huffing) Don't listen to him!
Mal: It's true. Half-a-year back, out at the Triumph Settlement. Didn't call herself "Bridgit" then. It was "Saffron." Hitched me by surprise, got on my ship, and tried to steal it out from under me... She's as cold as ice and dead crazy on top of it.
Saffron: You're a liar, Malcolm Reynolds!
Monty: Oh, he's a lot of things. But a liar he ain't. All the terrible thick we been through, he ain't never lied to me, not even once. (pointed to Saffron) And I never got to telling you his name.
(Saffron drops all pretense -- the jig is up.)
Saffron: Oh, hell. Fine. Be like that.
(She pulls away from Monty and starts neatening herself up, brushing back her hair, wiping the dirt from her face.)
Monty: (hurt) You said you loved me for me...
(Mal looks at Monty, saying with tender frankness.)
Mal: Believe me, Monty. She says that to all the boys.
(Monty looks crestfallen.)
(Time Lapse)
(Monty’s ship fires up, whipping a small cloud of dust around the tiny figures of Saffron and Mal. Saffron stands with her arms crossed, looking up irritably, lit by the glare of the ship's lights. Mal is in the background, with the crates. He dabs at his bloody nose with a white kerchief. Monty's voice echoes down over the ship’s loudspeaker, choked with hurt.)
Monty: (os) Damn you, Bridget! Damn you ta Hades! You broke my heart in a million pieces! You made me love you, and then y-- I SHAVED MY BEARD FOR YOU, DEVIL WOMAN!
Saffron: Whatever. (After a beat, a duffel bag drops into the frame from above, slamming into the ground. The ship pulls away with a burst of engine thrust, the light from it fading.) [Bun tyen-shung duh ee-dway-ro.]
(She moves to the duffel bag, crouches, unzips it, and roots around inside. The barrel of Mal's pistol enters frame, pressing against her temple.)
Mal: You're goin' to wanna pull your claw out of that bag, nice and slow.
Saffron: Relax. I'm not going for a gun or anything. (She slowly pulls a small cylinder out of the bag, and shows it to him, cranking it. It's lipstick.) Just freshening up.
(She's about to apply it when Mal snatches it and hucks it out into the desert.)
Mal: You and lipstick is a dangerous combination, as I recall. (gestures with gun) Now get up and turn around.
(She does so, with some impatience. Mal moves in and frisks her, trying to be businesslike, but she responds in a way that crackles with sexual tension.)
Saffron: Oh... Yeah... Just like old times.
Mal: We don't have any old times. I just don't want you pullin' a pistol out of... of anywhere...
(She writhes into him a little as he finishes frisking her.)
Saffron: (super sexy) Mmmm. You missed a spot...
(Mal gives her a rough shove and she stumbles forward a step.)
Mal: Can't miss a place you never been.
(She turns to him not with anger, but with practiced emotion -- playing to Mal as if they have a troubled, but real marriage.)
Saffron: Marriage is hard work, Mal, I know it... But that doesn't mean we have to give up... (moves closer to him) Sure, we've had our spats. Maybe I made some bad decisions along the way.
Mal: Oh, you're a tweaked one, you are.
Saffron: (smiles) But face it, hubby, I'm really hot.
Mal: Uh huh. (waves gun at her) Start walkin'.
Saffron: Walking? Walking where?
Mal: Pick a direction. Just don't turn around.
Saffron: Come on. Mal.
Mal: This is my scrap of nowhere. You go on and find your own.
Saffron: You can't just leave me here, on this lifeless piece of crap moon...
Mal: Sure I can.
Saffron: I'll die.
Mal: Well, as a courtesy, you might start getting busy on that, cause all this chatter ain't doin' me any kindness.
(Saffron sits down on her duffel bag with a defiant pout. But she seems done with the full court press, more herself now.)
Saffron: Why don't you just go ahead and shoot me, then?
Mal: I dunno. (thinks on this) Why didn't you shoot me? Back there, when I took my eyes off you for a split? Shame to say it, but I gave you the window.
Saffron: (condescending sigh) You and Monty, you fought in the war together, right? (he nods) I could smell that. The war buddy bond is a tough one to crack. I knew if I shot you I'd lose Monty anyway. You just had a better hand of cards this time.
Mal: It ain't a hand of cards. It's called a life. I've got a better life than you. And that's just barely, and just cause I don't spend my every waking hour pissing all over it, like some folks I'm holdin' a gun on...
(Saffron flashes a tight, insincere smile.)
Saffron: Touché, mon amour. (as she stands) Seriously, Mal. You have to give me a ride.
Mal: (bitter laugh) Woman, you are completely off your nut.
Saffron: I won't make trouble. You can stick me in one of those crates if you like. Just don't leave me he- (Mal shoots. A bullet kicks up the dust about three feet from her. A beat. She sticks out her tongue. Another bullet kicks up dust, two feet away. Another beat. She bends, lifting one strap of her heavy bag. She starts dragging it off, struggling. Then she stops and turns again.) This was all your fault, you know. I had a perfect crime lined up.
Mal: Sure. You were stealing a man's beard.
Saffron: No you ! [HOE-tze duh PEE-goo!] A million-square job. The big time. I was going to cut Monty and his crew in, but you screwed that royal.
Mal: (raises gun again) Odd, but I don't think I'll be losing sleep over it.
Saffron: I've got the layout, entrance codes, believe me, this thing practically robs itself.
Mal: Bye now.
Saffron: I'm handing you a fortune on a gold platter, sweetheart! Don't you even want to hear the details?
(Mal considers that for a beat, then looks at the kerchief, bloodied from his nose. He raises the gun again.)
(Serenity – Cargo Bay)
(Jayne stands by the cargo bay door, pulling on leather work gloves. Behind him, Zoe, Book, Kaylee, and Simon stand at the ready.)
Jayne: Sure you're up to liftin' this stuff? Crates are fair heavy, I gather.
(The engines are humming, and the bay rocks a bit as Serenity sets down. Kaylee nods, enthusiastic.)
Kaylee: I can handle it.
Jayne: Wasn't talkin' to you.
(Jayne smiles at Simon, who mocks a pained expression. Jayne hits a button -- the airlock opens, and the ramp beyond it starts to lower. The lowering ramp reveals Mal, standing in front of the pile of crates, alone. He doesn't look too happy. He has a bit of tissue stuffed in each nostril, to stem the blood.)
Jayne: Woah there, cap... Tell me you didn't get into a fight with Monty.
Kaylee: Really? But I thought we loved Monty! (to Zoe, sincere question) Don't we love Monty?
Zoe: Sweetie, if he had a tussle with that sasquatch, we'd be in the dirt right about now, scoopin' up the Captain's teeth. (Mal stomps up the ramp, holding them all in an even glare.) Ain't that so, sir?
Mal: You know what? I don't particular want to talk about it. Now we got work. Let's shut up and do it.
(Zoe looks from the Captain to the others, then back, eyebrows raised. Wash comes down the cargo bay stairs closest to the bridge, stops by Mal.)
Wash: Inara was asking for you. Wanted to - (Mal walks away.) So later with the talking then. (Wash walks down toward camera, mouthing words to Zoe and Book, who carry one of the crates up the ramp.) (mouthed silently) 'What happened?'
(Inara’s Shuttle)
(Mal enters.)
Mal: Heard you were looking for me?
(Inara is seated, preparing tea. Her whole attitude is formal, yet inviting.)
Inara: I was. Care to sit? (He does, slowly.) I was hoping to talk a little business. Would you like some tea?
(He stands again, less slowly.)
Mal: Okay, what's the game?
Inara: I offered you tea.
Mal: After inviting me into your shuttle of your own free will, which makes two events without precedent and which makes me more'n a little skittish.
Inara: Honestly, Mal, if we can't be civilized and talk like-
Mal: I'm plenty civilized. You're using wiles on me.
Inara: I'm using what?
Mal: Your feminine wiles. Your companion training, your some-might-say uncanny ability to make a man sweaty and/or compliant, of which I have had just about enough today.
Inara: Maybe this isn't the best time.
Mal: It's a fine time. Just talk plain is all.
Inara: I'm not sleeping with you, Mal.
(Beat.)
Mal: Uh, no, I think I would have noticed if you were. My keenly trained... senses would have...
Inara: You're not my lover. Neither are you my mother, My House Mistress or anyone who has the slightest say in how I conduct my affairs.
Mal: Well enough. So?
Inara: So let me conduct my affairs!
Mal: Who's keeping you from -
Inara: I haven't had a client in three weeks. Backwater moons, slums frontier planets without so much as a temple built -
Mal: We go where the work is!
Inara: There's all kinds of work, Mal
Mal: And ours is the kind the Alliance shuts you down for. I opt to stay off the radar -
Inara: There's plenty of worlds where both of us could work. We used to visit them, remember?
Mal: [EE-chee shung-hoo-shee.] Are you saying I'm doing this deliberate on account of you? There's some reason I don't want you on the job?
Inara: Is there?
Mal: (sighing, pacing) Well this is one of the crazier things I've heard today and when I tell you about the rest of my day, you'll appreciate --
Inara: Mal, I'm not accusing you of anything, it's just--
Mal: Hey, no, we'll just set course for Planet of the Lonely Rich and Appropriately Hygienic Man. I'll just tell Wash, we can park there for a month.
Inara: (rises as well) Not all of your work is illegal. And the--
Mal: What, you're trying to get me off the job now?
Inara: -- And the best job you ever pulled was on a central planet!
Mal: How about I stay out of your whoring -
Inara: That didn't take long -
(They're right in each other's faces now, goin' at it.)
Mal: And you stay out of my thieving. I know my business plenty well, thank you.
Inara: Right. You're a criminal mastermind. What was the last cargo we snuck past the Alliance to transport?
Mal: We made a perfectly good piece-
Inara: What was the cargo?
Mal: They were dolls!
Inara: They were little geisha dolls with big heads that wobbled!
Mal: People love those!
Inara: And what exactly was our net profit on the famous wobbly-headed doll caper?
Mal: "Our" cut? You're in the gang now?
Inara: Well, since I can't seem to find work as companion, I might as well become a petty thief like you!
(Beat. The air goes out of both of them.)
Mal: Petty.
Inara: (backtracking) I didn't mean petty.
Mal: What did you mean?
Inara: (meekly) [Suo-SHEE?]
Mal: That's chinese for petty.
Inara: No, that's a narrow... there's nuances of meaning that...
Mal: Maybe you shoulda stuck with your wiles.
Inara: Don't put this all on me, Mal. You know you haven't been after serious work in a -
Mal: Serious work? You wanna know what I -
(He stops himself.)
Inara: What?
Mal: Nothing.
(Cargo Bay)
(Mal, alone, descends the stairs into the cargo bay. He goes to the crates, scanning over them for a moment, finding one that has two bullet holes in its lid. He pries it open, pulls the lid away and looks in.)
Mal: All right. Tell me more about this job a' yours.
(We then see that Saffron is scrunched into one of the crates. She glares at him.)
(Dining Area)
(Jayne, Zoe, Wash and Kaylee are all gathered at the dining room table. Presently they're staring a bit open-mouthed at – Mal and Saffron standing variously before them as Saffron makes her pitch.)
Saffron: The mark's name is Durran Haymer. Maybe one of the biggest collectors of Earth-That-Was artifacts in the 'verse. Guy's got warehouses full of stuff. But his prize piece is sitting in his parlor -- an antiquity of unspeakable value: The Mexican. The original hand-held laser pistol. One of only two known to still exist. The forerunner of all modern laser technology. Haymer got lucky, picked it up during the war for nothing.
Mal: But it wasn't just luck. (then) Tell them.
Saffron: Haymer's Alliance. Bio-weapons expert during the war. He'd target neighborhoods with valuables, wipe out every living soul without ever damaging the goods. Go in, take whatever he wanted.
Mal: He's living fat on a private estate on Bellerophon.
(Saffron tosses some future computer disks onto the table.)
Saffron: I managed to get ahold of his schedule for the next 18 months -- the layout of the estate grounds... and every security code for the place.
(No one moves to touch them.)
Mal: Saffron's got a notion we can just walk in -- take The Mexican right off his shelf.
(More with the staring. Finally Wash speaks.)
Wash: I'm confused...
Saffron: (ahead of him) You're asking yourself if I've got the security codes, why don't I just go in and grab it for myself – why cut you in?
Wash: No. Actually... I was wondering... (to Mal, suddenly) What's she doing on the ship!? Didn't she try to kill us?
Saffron: (rolls her eyes) Please. Nobody died last time. (suddenly unsure) Right? Where's the old guy with the hair?
Wash: We're in space. How'd she get here?
Mal: She hitched.
Wash: I don't recall pulling over...
Mal: Look. Point is, there's more'n one of us here wouldn't mind sticking it to a < monkey raping > [Chiang-BAO HOE- tze duh] Alliance bastard. Besides that, this could be a very lucrative venture for all of us. This ain't no wobbly-headed doll caper. This here's history.
(Jayne's been thinking very hard. Raises his hand.)
Jayne: Okay. I got a question. If she's got the security codes, why don't she just go in a grab it for herself -- why cut us in?
(A beat as they stare.)
Saffron: Good point. Getting through the door and putting our hands on the Mexican is easy. Getting out with it... that's the tricky part.
Mal: It's tagged and coded. Second it passes through the door -- alarms, security, feds.
Saffron: This isn't a one-woman operation. To do this right, I need...
Inara: (os) Idiots.
(They turn. Inara has entered the room.)
Saffron: Partners.
Inara: Dupes. And that's what you'll all be if you trust her.
Mal: Could be that's so. Lord knows ain't none of us "criminal masterminds." So if you got something better, Inara -- something not "petty" -- we'd sure be willing to hear it.
(A beat as Inara and Mal hold the look between them. Saffron doesn't hate the tension that's evident here.)
Inara: (turns and goes) < Idiots. All of you. > [Nee mun DOH shr sagwa.]
Mal: (looks back to gang) Okay. So the question remains – how do we get the artifact out without setting off the alarms?
Kaylee: You don't. Not through the door, anyway. (reaches for the disk) This the layout?
Saffron: Full blueprints of the entire grounds.
Kaylee: Could be we look hard enough, we find a way.
(Mal smiles.)
Mal: You dig into that, little Kaylee. (looks to Zoe) Zoe. You ain't said a word. Time to weigh in.
Zoe: Take sounds ripe enough. That's assuming we can fence it.
Saffron: I know a guy on Persephone. He's already got half a dozen buyers on the bid. The split is gonna be sweet.
Zoe: But Inara's not wrong -- (eyes on Saffron) -- she can't be trusted.
Mal: I ain't asking you to trust her. I'll be with her on the inside the whole time.
Saffron: See there? Only one thing you gotta do if you want to be a rich woman, hon -- and that's get over it.
Zoe: Mmmm. Okay. (She hauls off and slugs Saffron in the mouth. She goes down on her tush. Everyone's a little astonished.) You, too. Hon. (then, to Mal) I'm in.
(No one bothers to offer to help Saffron up.)
(Simon’s Room)
(Jayne is dumping off a bunch of food and water packets, talking to Simon and River.)
Jayne: Captain says you're to stay put. Doesn't want you runnin' afoul of his blushin' psychotic bride. She figures out who you are, she'll turn you in 'fore you can... say... "don't turn me in, lady".
Simon: The bounty on us just keeps getting more exciting.
Jayne: (busying himself) Well, I wouldn't know.
River: (looking at Jayne) She's a liar.
Jayne: That don't exactly set her apart from the rest of us. And the plunder sounds fun enough.
River: She's a liar and no good will come of her.
Jayne: Well, I say as a rule that girlfolk ain't to be trusted.
River: Jayne is a girl's name.
Jayne: Well Jayne ain't a girl. (to Simon) She starts on that "girl's name" thing, I'm a show her good an' all I got man parts.
Simon: I'm trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. It's just not coming.
Jayne: I just heard enough ab --
Simon: (wearily dismissive) < Go far away very fast. > [KWAI chur hun-rien duh di fahng.]
Jayne: And I WAS gonna leave you a deck of cards...
(He goes, shutting the door behind him.)
Simon: Great. Another exciting adventure in sitting.
River: Afraid.
Simon: We'll be okay. Why the captain is trusting that < remorseless harridan > [BOO hway-HUN duh PUO-foo] is beyond --
River: Not her. Jayne.
Simon: (amused) Afraid? Since when?
River: Since Ariel. (Simon is no longer amused.) Afraid we'll know.
(Cargo Bay)
(Zoe is headed up the catwalks from the cargo bay, Inara comes down the stairs leading from the bridge, heading to her shuttle.)
Zoe: We should be on Bellerophon by oh-six. I figure the job should be-
Inara: Please. I really don't wanna know.
Zoe: At least it's your kind of world. You got appointments made?
Inara: The minute we hit atmo, I'm gone. I've booked a few choice clients, should help me get my mind off Mal's descent into lunacy -
Zoe: (curious) What happens if you got an appointment coming and you ain't finished the one you're at?
Inara: Overbooking is a cardinal sin. Clients must feel the experience is timeless. Only thing worse is a badly faked fall.
Zoe: See, that's where me and Companionship part ways. I never could work the notion of pretending a man was gettin' it done when he wasn't.
Inara: So you've never pretended to fall.
Zoe: Well, never is a strong word... sometimes it's easier.
Inara: What about with Wash?
Zoe: One time. Poor boy was bone-tired...
Inara: And?
Zoe: He knew. Son of a bitch called me on it.
Inara: That's the one you marry.
Zoe: Damn right.
(Zoe starts to leave.)
Inara: Zoe. Don't let Mal trust her.
Zoe: Thought you didn't care about the job.
Inara: I really don't. I just want there to be someone around to pick me up when I'm done.
Zoe: < Don't worry. > [FAHNG-sheen.] I got his back. Captain starts thinking with his < dangly piece of flesh > [JAN- doh duh ee-KWAI-ro], I'll step in.
Inara: The man's a moron. Everything Saffron is, is a lie. She'll get the drop on him - which as far as I'm concerned is what he richly deserves.
Zoe: Ain't sayin' it ain't risky. Don't count Mal out, though. He just knows the estate is -
(Inara holds up her hands.)
Inara: No details. I meant that. Just be careful.
Zoe: See you when we're wealthy...
(They split up, Zoe heading up toward the bridge, Inara going into her shuttle. We then see that Saffron has been eavesdropping from above, near the second shuttle. Mal steps up to her.)
Mal: You give me a hand in here. No wandering about, remember? Or I'll stick you back in your crate.
Wash: (on comm) Cap'n?
(Mal keeps his eye on Saffron as he hits a nearby button.)
Mal: Yeah?
Wash: (on comm) We think we got something...
(Dining Area)
(Mal, Zoe, Jayne, Wash, Kaylee and Saffron are gathered around the table. Kaylee has the portable display seen in "Ariel" with the estate schematics. It gets passed around as she and Wash speak.)
Wash: Bellerophon Estates... Home to the rich and paranoid... gracious living... ocean views...
(Bellerophen – Day)
(Ocean as far as the eye can see. Floating about the blue expanse are enormous manors -- estates hovering a mile above the water, complete with greenery, landscaping, etc.)
Wash: (vo) ... and state-of-the-art security, including local patrols, and multi-code-keys needed at all entrances and exits...
(Serenity – Dining Area)
Saffron: Which we have --
Wash: Right. You and Mal will split off in Shuttle II as we make our approach...
(Bellerophen – Day)
(Serenity zooms into the shot. Shuttle II splits off from Serenity, veering slightly up. The camera stays with Shuttle II as it approaches the floating estate, other flying vehicles coming and going.)
Wash: There's a landing port just south of the main house.
(Shuttle II)
(Mal is at the helm.)
Mal: Prepped for landing. You ready?
(Saffron appears from the back, two huge flower arrangements in her arms.)
Saffron: Ready.
(Floating Estate – Day)
(Well manicured grounds. Shuttle II lands in the distance. The camera pans to find various servents bustling about who carry covered trays, carts loaded with fine China, a bartender setting up an outdoor bar, etc.)
Wash: (vo) Haymer's throwing a big party this weekend, so you should have no trouble blending with the hired help who'll be there setting up. (We then see Mal and Saffron carrying the flower arrangements, now moving through all of this.) All you gotta do is get through the back door.
(Back Entrance)
(Mal and Saffron arrive at the back door. Saffron pulls out a punch-pad and small round "enabler." Attaches the small cylinder to the door, taps in her code, the cylinder lights.)
Mal: (vo) Shouldn't be a problem, unless someone's been less than truthful --
(The door opens. Saffron smiles at Mal.)
(Serenity – Dining Area)
(Saffron's looking to Mal, here, too.)
Kaylee: The parlor with The Mexican's on the ninth floor. You'll have to disable the display. Won't be any trouble. 'course, once you got your hands on the goods, you can't take it out the front door, nor the back door, nor any door. Every piece of pretty is tagged for the scanners.
Saffron: Right. So what do we do?
Kaylee: (to Wash) You wanna tell them?
Wash: (waves it to her) It was your genius idea.
Kaylee: (proud) You chuck it in the garbage.
(Bellerophen – Floating Estate – Corridor)
(Mal and Saffron exit further into the estate. We stay with the Housekeeper who moves to a chute opening. She dumps the bag down, then moves to a panel on the opposite wall.)
Kaylee: (vo) You hit one little button, and the drone whooshes off with the trash.
(The Housekeeper touches the panel. Words appear ONSCREEN: "READY FOR DISPOSAL. YES. NO." She touches "yes.")
(Serenity – Dining Area)
Saffron: (not really) Brilliant.
Kaylee: Thanks.
Saffron: Oh, except it's idiotic. Those drones take the disposal bins straight to reclamation. Thirty seconds after we hit the button, the booty'll get incinerated.
Kaylee: Not if we reprogram the bin. Give it new coordinates.
(Underneath The Floating Estate)
(A futuristic dumpster is latched onto the body of the estate. We hear the low thud of the bag landing inside.)
Kaylee: (vo) Once I override the standard guidance protocol, I can tell the disposal bin to go wherever we want.
(A flying garbage drone, flies towards the dumpster, and its forklift-like claws clamp onto the dumpster. The dumpster shudders with the impact, then detaches from the structure and the drone whisks it away. Another dumpster drops into place where the other one was.)
(Serenity – Dining Area)
Saffron: And where would that be?
Wash: The loneliest piece of desert we can find. Here. Isis Canyon. Drone dumps the bin, we claim the goods when we're all together again.
Saffron: How do you plan on getting to the bin to reprogram it?
Kaylee: You get to the loot -- we'll get to the bin.
(Underneath The Floating Estate)
(Serenity comes into frame, hovering steadily a few feet below the dumpster. Bright sunlight and wind whipping up here. The hatch opens and Jayne emerges. He's wearing goggles, his thrilling heroics hat and a harness with cable (which dangles at the moment.) He pulls himself out of the hatch and crawls carefully up the hull and attaches the safety latch of his cable to a rung on the ship. Now from the hatch Kaylee emerges, also wearing goggles and protection from the wind and cold. She hands up the end of her safety harness to Jayne. He clips it. She hands him out a tool kit. He takes it, then helps her up onto the top of the ship. She crawls toward him on her belly. They're under the bin, now. He makes her lie flat, one arm over her protecting her as he pulls out his com, speaks into it.)
Jayne: Okay! We're planted!
(Serenity – Bridge)
Jayne: (on comm) Take us up --
(Wash white knuckling it. Zoe at his shoulder. He pulls back on the controls.)
(Outside)
(Jayne and Kaylee still lying flat. Serenity rises up. Jayne and Kaylee look up as the bottom of the estate looms closer.)
Jayne: That's good! Hold 'er there.
(Kaylee, still face down, pops open her mobile tool kit, hands an electric (space age?) screwdriver to Jayne. Jayne gets to his feet with great care -- reaches up to the control panel side of the trash bin. It's all very precarious now as he sets to work on the panel, removing the face of it.)
(Corridor)
(Mal sneaks down a corridor, Saffron standing watch at the other end of the hall. She's keeping an eye on Mal -- specifically, on his ass. Mal turns to her.)
Mal: Clear. (She trots down to him, looks at a Palm-like device which displays the house's blueprints.) Which way?
Saffron: Left.
(They continue on.)
(Underneath The Floating Estate/Serenity)
(Jayne pulls off the front panel of the control mechanism, sets about removing the innards, hands the motherboard down to Kaylee, who begins to work on it.)
(Corridor)
(Mal and Saffron move down another corridor -- one that opens into a larger room. Saffron peeks at her Palm as Mal peers into the room, addresses him in a whisper.)
Saffron: This should be it.
(Mal holds up a finger. The sound of voices in the other room slowly drifts away. Then he nods and they walk into the room.)
(Parlor)
(They enter into a room that defines opulence. Beautiful furnishings, expensive art on the walls. Memorabilia of Earth-That-Was fills the room. This room alone cost millions to decorate.)
Mal: < Holy testicle Tuesday. > [Shun-SHENG duh gao-WAHN]
(And on the mantel, in the proper place of honor: a Buck Rogers lookin' Laser Gun. It is to phasers what those huge old clunky cell phones were to modern ones. Mal and Saffron set down their flower displays, move to it. She reaches out. He stays her hand. Holds up a small aerosol-looking can, sprays and a force field becomes visible for a moment. Mal reaches into his flowers, pulls out a mini- tool kit.)
Mal: Let's get to work...
(Underneath the Floating Estate/Serenity)
(Kaylee hands the jerry-rigged motherboard back to Jayne.)
Kaylee: Okay! She's set! (yelling over the roar of wind) Careful! It's hot!
(Jayne nods, starts to replace the innards. Serenity rises up a few inches, closing the distance between the bottom of the estate and Jayne's head.)
Jayne: (sharply into com) Gorram it Wash! Hold it steady!
(Bridge)
(Wash and more with the white knuckles.)
Wash: Sorry...
(He eases off.)
(Underneath the Floating Estate/Serenity)
(As Serenity dips ever so slightly, Jayne gets a bit more "head room." Continues to work. Kaylee reacts as she watches.)
Kaylee: Jayne! No! The dyna-ram's live!
(He can't hear what she's saying over the roar. Glances at her, annoyed.)
Jayne: What?
Kaylee: (worried) Don't touch the dyna --
(ZAP! A blue bolt of energy jumps out of the bin control innards zapping Jayne and knocking him out. He falls and lands hard on the top of Serenity and starts sliding, out like a light. Kaylee instinctively grasps for the tether as Jayne's body slides and rolls, the tether taught. This all happens very fast and Kaylee screams.)
(Parlor)
(Mal uses a space-aged allen wrench as he digs into an open panel under the Mexican.)
Mal: Where's the trash chute?
Saffron: We passed it in the vestibule. (She hears footsteps.) Someone's coming...
(Mal quickly shuts the panel, moves away just as – Durran Haymer, the master of the house, enters the room, freezing both Mal and Saffron. He looks from one to the other, in shock.)
Durran: (to Mal) You... (Mal waits.) You found her... (He takes Saffron in his arms.) Oh, God, you've brought back my wife! (Mal is only mildly surprised. His face is away from Mal's, Saffron’s toward Mal. She looks vexed, though she hugs him back.) Oh, my dear... (Mal mimes hitting the guy. Saffron shakes her head slightly, no.) Oh, my own sweet Yolanda... (Mal mouths 'Yolanda?', amused. Durran holds her at arms length.) I thought I would never see you again. (He's fighting welling emotion. He turns to Mal.) Forgive me... I don't mean to make a show...
Mal: Please. I'm the one intruding.
Durran: Not at all. I owe you a great debt of thanks.
Mal: Just gave the lady a lift.
Durran: You did much more than that. You returned to me the only thing I truly treasure.
Mal: Well, then, this is a day I'll feel good to be me.
Durran: Do I owe you any --
Mal: No. Trip weren't even out of our way.
Saffron: I promised him 800 square.
Mal: But, no, I never agreed to --
Durran: Please. I'd be embarrassed not to make some recompense... In my study, I... Are you hungry? You both look so tired, there's food, or... Yolanda, I'm babbling like a moon brain...
Saffron: Hush. We'll both have plenty to say by daybreak.
Durran: Six years...
Saffron: Is that all?
Durran: From the day we found your shuttle --
Saffron: They set on me at Parth, these awful men...
Mal: That wasn't me, though. I don't know those men...
Saffron: They said they wanted ransom, but they... they sold me... to slavers...
Mal: Also unknown to me...
Durran: (ashamed) At first I thought -- well, you disappeared the same day as Heinrich –
Saffron: Heinrich?
Durran: The security programmer. And he was young, and I'd seen you two talking, and I thought -- but after they found his body...
Mal: They killed Heinrich. Guess he wasn't useful anymore.
Durran: (to Saffron) I never stopped looking.
Saffron: I knew you wouldn't. (tears and all) That's the thought that kept me alive. (They kiss passionately. Mal looks around, at his nails, at the wall.) We have so much time to make-up...
Mal: Well, that's my cue to skedaddle...
Durran: Let me get your money. (to Saffron) You won't disappear again?
Saffron: Never. (He goes. A beat, as her loving look hardens.) We gotta move fast.
(As Mal returns to the dismantling of the force field with his sp-allen wrench.)
Mal: Yeah, he might come back and hug us in the act.
(Serenity – Foredeck Hall)
(Zoe (who's wearing goggles and anti-wind-clothing) and Book struggle to lower the dead weight of an unconscious Jayne into the ship. Zoe is half up the ladder, using Jayne's tether to guide him down to Book. She wears a tether harness vest now.)
Kaylee: Zoe?
Zoe: I'm comin', Kaylee-- (down to Book) Book -- You got him?
Book: I got him -- I got hi-- (Zoe unhitches his tether line and Jayne's full weight topples toward Book. He staggers back, pinned against the wall of the corridor by Jayne's bulk.) (wheezes) Lord-- this boy weighs-- a solid ton--
(He lowers Jayne to the floor. Simon appears, having been summoned. Zoe hitches the tether line to her vest.)
Zoe: Doctor, you got yourself a patient to see to.
(Simon nods, face clouded with subtle darkness.)
Simon: Yes. I'll take care of it.
(Simon moves to assist Book. Zoe hauls herself up out of the hatch.)
(Floating Estate – Parlor)
(Mal continues his dismantling.)
Saffron: You don't know him. He's everything I said he was.
Mal: Oh, he's a killer of men. Why I'll bet he eats up babies.
Saffron: You're wasting time.
(He's actually being very efficient while continuing.)
Mal: But let's take a breath here, Yolanda. You're sneaking into a place you could walk into as welcome as glad news. What's the math on that?
Saffron: The math is you not adding up that Durran Haymer would as soon cut your throat as --
Mal: --You would?
Saffron: If possible.
Mal: No. That ain't it at all. You'da knocked him on the brain, were that the case. You don't want him knowing the truth. Unlike all the -- I'm gonna go with hundreds -- of men you've married, you actually want this one to think well of you after you've gone. (Flash. The force field appears then disappears. Mal reaches in and grabs The Mexican.) My god... Could it be that I've just met your real husband?
(She has backed up to her flower arrangement, whips out a small gun at him, furious.)
Saffron: Congratulations, anything else you want on your tombstone, you piece of crap?
Durran: Now I'm intruding.
(She puts the gun down, genuinely upset that Durran has busted her.)
Saffron: Durran... This isn't what it looks like...
Mal: Unless it looks like we're stealing your priceless Mexican, 'cause that's what we're doing. Don't ask me about the gun, 'cause that's new.
(As he says this, Mal has elegantly moved past Durran, dropped the Mexican into the trash cute just outside the door, hit the button.)
Durran: Well. I appreciate your honesty. Not, you know, a lot, but --
Saffron: Durran, you don't know what he's forced me to --
Durran: Stop. Yolanda, please just stop.
(There is a terrible sadness in his voice. And a frantic misery in hers.)
Saffron: Durran... Don't look at me like that. (A beat. She whips the gun at him.) I said don't look at me like that!
(Underneath the Floating Estate/Serenity)
(Kaylee teeters on precarious tippy-toe, straining to plug a piece of hardware into the top part of the control panel on the dumpster. Zoe steadies her, heels dug in, one hand gripping Kaylee's tether.)
Kaylee: Almost...done... Just have to plug the interface strike-plate back...in...
(There's a clacking of machinery from the dumpster, and a beacon light begins flashing.)
Zoe: That's the pick-up call -- they must have dropped the Star... How we doing?
(Kaylee strains but can't quite reach.)
Kaylee: (growls) Can't reach it --
(Zoe looks and sees a garbage drone in the distance, taking a hard turn towards them, like a shark nosing toward its prey. Zoe speaks into her com.)
Zoe: Wash -- we need a little more altitude -- now --
Wash: (on comm) Working on it, dear --
Zoe: Kaylee-- (Kaylee fumbles with the plate as Serenity lurches up another foot or two.) KayleeKayleeKaylee--
(Kaylee snaps the strike-plate into place.)
Kaylee: Got it!
(Zoe pulls hard on Kaylee's tether. She is yanked down out of frame just as the drone locks into place, right where Kaylee had been. Zoe and Kaylee, laying prone on top of the ship, exchange a look. They move towards the door.)
(Bridge)
(Wash pilots hard as Zoe's voice crackles in over the com.)
Zoe: (on comm) We're in! Go! Go!
Wash: Copy that--
(Wash pulls back on his controls.)
(Underneath the Floating Estate)
(Serenity drops away from the underbelly, peeling into a dive and sailing off, as the drone detaches the dumpster and flies off in the opposite direction.)
(Parlor)
(Mal is inching his way around from the door; Saffron staring down Durran, gun pointed at him.)
Mal: Whoa, whoa, let's not get worked up here --
Saffron: Are you really so naive? Do you really think your life is anything to me?
(Mal is next to his flower arrangement -- whip quick he pulls his own gun from it, is drawn and pointed at her in a heartbeat.)
Mal: Okay, we're not killing folk today, on account of our very tight schedule. So why don't you drop that pistola, Yo-Saf-Bridge, and we'll be about our -- (suddenly as fierce as a cop) DROP IT NOW.
(He comes at her as he shouts it, his whole attitude wrought with controlled fury, putting the gun to her head. She drops hers to the floor, knowing he means business, but never takes her eyes off Durran. They play everything to each other, even when talking to Mal. Mal retrieves her gun, pockets it.)
Saffron: Did you think I was a princess? That I would stay locked up here in the tower? With you?
Durran: I hoped.
Saffron: You're a rutting fool.
Mal: Saffron, you wanna finish the damn job? We're short on minutes here. I'm sorry mister --
Durran: How long have you been with him?
Mal: Oh we're not together.
Saffron: He's my husband.
Mal: Well who in the damn galaxy isn't?
(She starts working.)
Durran: I feel so bad for you.
Saffron: Bad for me? I'm not the patsy getting stole from. You had half a brain you'da called the Feds the minute you saw me.
Durran: Oh, I did. (They stop. He points to his ring. It's modern, with a stone like a button. That is a button.) Emergency signal. For kidnappings and the like. I love you, Yolanda, but I couldn't think for a second you were actually here for me. (They hear the sound of approaching cops.) That would be them now.
(A beat, as Mal and Saffron fume.)
Saffron: Men.
(Outside)
(A trio of police ships descend on the estate, sirens blaring, lights flashing.)
(Parlor)
(Saffron sidles desperately up to Durran.)
Saffron: Durran, peaches, just call them off. Tell 'em it was a mistake.
Durran: You need help, Yolanda.
Saffron: I'll do whatever you want... you know how I can make you feel...
Durran: Please. You're embarrassing yourself.
(She punches him into unconsciousness.)
Saffron: I'm embarrassing? Who's the dupe on the floor?
(She spits on him as Mal comes up, grabs her arm.)
Mal: I hate to bring up our imminent arrest during your crazy time, but we gotta move.
(He tugs at her and they take off.)
(Main Doorway)
(Cops, armed with sonic rifles, are at the doors.)
Police: ... police. Responding to emergency call code. Request entry, all points.
(A beat, then the doors buzz as the locks give. The cops race inside.)
(Corridor)
(Mal and Saffron hoofing it out of here. A cop comes around the corner, heading right at them. The cop is more surprised than they are -- Mal takes him down with a few well- placed moves. Saffron reacts as --
two more cops -- appear coming the other way. One of them is raising his sonic rifle.)
Saffron: [Wahg-ba DAN duh biao-tze.]
(Mal drags her along, over the fallen cop. They round the corner just as the other cop fires.)
(Back Entrance)
(Mal and Saffron bolt down the glass corridor, the way they came in. Cops appear, coming after them.)
(Back Doorway)
(Saffron beelines for the security panel, hooks her device onto it, starts working. Mal braces himself against the door.)
Mal: What are you doing?
Saffron: Shut up and stand back.
(Mal backs away from the door just as her enabler beeps. A cop reaches for the door -- but it pulls away from him. We hear a KA-CHUNK as the door locks.)
Saffron: Let's go!
(She runs off. Mal regards the door and the pounding from the trapped cops for a tiny beat.)
Mal: (impressed) Good security.
(He turns to join her.)
(Main Grounds)
Saffron: Mal! (Two more cops, armed with sonic rifles, coming at them. Saffron is already spinning and kicking at the first one. Mal takes on the second one, hand-to-fist-to-face.)(calls to Mal, as she fights) Can I have my gun back now, please?
Mal: No! (He lays out the cop he's fighting. Then reaches down and grabs the fallen sonic rifle. Spins on Saffron and the cop she's still engaged with.) Move! (She dives out of the way as Mal fires a sonic blast. Second cop is down for the count. Mal tosses the sonic rifle aside. Saffron goes to grab it. Mal grabs her, yanks her from it.) Nope. Let's go.
(And they do.)
(Back Doorway)
(One of the cops is trying to work the security code pad. No luck. The Sergeant calls into his COM.)
Police: Subjects have exited the residence and are on the grounds. Does anyone have visual?
(Shuttle II)
(The shuttle flies off unpursued. Mal pushes buttons, engages autopilot, and heads to the back as he straps on his holster, back to normal. Saffron sits on a crate, facing away from him, sullenly ignoring the welling in her eyes.)
Mal: That must've been tough.
Saffron: Yeah, have yourself a great guffaw.
Mal: I mean it. Six years, you knew he was holding such treasures, you didn't move on him. I gotta figure that's a job you told yourself you'd never take. Till times got hard enough, and the one line you hadn't crossed...
Saffron: (turning, fierce) My name's not Yolanda.
Mal: Never entered my mind that it was.
(She looks away again. Her tone at first is worldly, bitter -- but there is clearly more underneath.)
Saffron: I tried. I actually tried. I thought, "this is a decent man. The genuine article."
Mal: A working man, struggling to get by with the barest necessities on his private floating island...
Saffron: Yeah, he had money. I thought it would help. That if I had everything... I wouldn't want...
Mal: Heinrich the Security Programmer?
Saffron: You know, I'd forgotten his name.
Mal: Addressing the itch of curiousness, you marry him too?
Saffron: No. I didn't kill him either.
Mal: I don't reckon you've killed many. Just put 'em in a position to die easy.
Saffron: I should've killed Durran.
Mal: Right. The one guy that don't have it coming. The man who knows you and still loves you, treachery and all. Can't have him walking about.
(She does start crying now, balled up, not making any move toward Mal.)
Saffron: You must be loving this.
Mal: Little bit. I seen you without your clothes on before. Never thought I'd see you naked.
(She looks up at him with genuine pleading in her eyes.)
Saffron: Can people ever change?
Mal: Depends on the person. I'm guessing the pain of this fades away, you'll just go back to being what you are.
Saffron: (small voice) What is that?
(He squats before her, takes her chin in his hand.)
Mal: (not unkindly) A brilliant, beautiful, evil double crossing snake. Cheer up, weepy: you've earned yourself a boatload of hard cash today. You can question the meaning of life on a floaty island of your own for a while.
Saffron: You won't tell anyone about me breaking down?
Mal: I won't.
Saffron: Then I won't tell anyone how easily I got your gun out of your holster.
(He looks down.)
Mal: I take that as a kindness.
(They rise, her with the gun pointed at his belly.)
Saffron: You just may be the most gullible fool I have ever marked. And that makes you special.
Mal: You can riddle me with holes, Yolanda. Won't make what I just saw anything but truth.
Saffron: (almost convincing) I played you. From minute one.
Mal: You got me at barrel's end, who am I to argue. What's your move?
Saffron: We'll be settling down in the desert. Leave you to set a spell. Oh, and speaking of naked...
Mal: No, now that's just low.
Saffron: Kinda evens things out, don't you think? Pants.
(She cocks the hammer, he starts undoing his trousers.)
Mal: Don't really see the benefit in all this. However I slip, you're not gonna catch my crew with their trousers down.
(Serenity – Bridge)
(Wash at the controls. Zoe and Kaylee enter.)
Zoe: We still clear?
Wash: Nobody's following.
Zoe: Good. Time to turn around. Bin'll be dumped by now. Let's get there before anyone else does.
(Wash nods. Pulls on the ship controls. Frowns.)
Wash: Can't.
Zoe: What?
Wash: Can't... turn. (still trying) Not getting any tug from the aft alternator --
Kaylee: What? That don't make no sense... (realizing) Unless...
(She turns and runs out, toward the engine room.)
(Engine Room)
(Kaylee goes right for the engine, Zoe and Wash following. She only has to look for a second before knowing what's up.)
Kaylee: Yep. < whores in hell! > [Tah-shr SUO-yo DEE- yure duh biao-tze duh MAH!] The filament in the grav-dampener's stripped.
Wash: Now, who could've possibly done that?
Kaylee: I can fix it, but she must've put a timer on the motivator and wetwired the dampener with…
Zoe: What does that mean, Kaylee?
Kaylee: We ain't gonna make the rendezvous. We have to land. Now.
Mal: (os) That dirty dirty whore...
(Wasteland – Day)
(Mal’s staring up at the sky. We hear the sound of the shuttle flying off. We then see that Mal is very much naked. And standing in the wasteland where we first saw him in the opening. Mal stares at his bare feet and shakes his head as if to say "shoulda seen it coming.")
(Isis Canyon)
(The disposal bin sits near Shuttle II, its lid open. From inside the bin, we hear Saffron.)
Saffron: Blaerghchh!
(Garbage comes flying out of the bin. Saffron is digging through the trash, rummaging through moldy fruit, eggshells, and assorted sticky, wet rubbish. Her hair is matted -- basically, she's covered in shit and doesn't look happy about it.)
Saffron: Where the hell is it... (She keeps digging. Then she stops, throws her hands up in defeat.) It's not here.
Inara: (os) Looking for this? (She looks up to see Inara perched on the wall of some nearby ruins, beautiful as always, in her veil and bare midriff ensemble. She points The Mexican.) Wonder if it works? (Pulls the trigger. Nothing.) Ah-well. Still worth a fortune. (as she raises a lugar) Anyway, this one works fine. (then) Honey, you look horrific.
Saffron: What are you doing here?
Inara: Oh. Just my part of the job.
Saffron: What part of the job?
Inara: (matter of fact) You know, I put on this big act and storm away in a huff, then I fly off, wait for you to doublecross Mal, beat you to the rendezvous spot and grab the loot before you can get to it. (beat) What, you didn't see it coming? (Saffron makes a move; Inara points her lugar.) Uh-uh. (beat) You know, I'm a little disappointed. Some of the crew's performances weren't quite as nuanced as they could have been. I thought they might tip the fact that we were playing you from the second Mal took you out of that crate. (beat) Oh, well. Guess not.
(As she's said this, she's set aside The Mexican and picked up a small remote control. She aims it at the bin, presses a button -- and the lid slams shut on Saffron.)
Saffron: Wait a minute, wait, you can't -- (SLAM! the lid shuts) -- mmmf mmfff ni ffmm do hmf!
Inara: You're not going to die, you big baby. The authorities will be here in a few hours to dig you out.
(Serenity – Infirmary)
(Jayne fuzzily comes to, looks around. Simon is quietly notating some things, his back to Jayne.)
Jayne: Wah guwwunoh?
Simon: (not looking around) You got knocked out.
Jayne: Dih we gedda payoff? Dih we make the money?
Simon: Can you move your arms and legs?
(Jayne looks suddenly worried. Tries -- cannot move anything below his neck.)
Jayne: Dah nod movin'!
Simon: Do you want to know why? (He turns to Jayne, eerie calm on his face.) Your spine. You hit it pretty hard when you fell.
Jayne: (worried) 'pine?
Simon: Yes. So I gave you something to knock out your motor functions so you wouldn't wrench it when you came to. Should wear off in half an hour. You'll just be bruised.
Jayne: 'pine okay?
Simon: How much did they offer you to sell me and River on Ariel?
(Jayne pauses. Now he's worried.)
Jayne: Das crazy talk.
Simon: Then let's talk crazy. How much.
Jayne: (looking beyond Simon. calls out) Is anybody there? (River leans in from the doorway looks at him calmly. It's not comforting.) (Quieter) Anybody else?
Simon: You're in a dangerous line of work, Jayne. Odds are, you'll be under my knife again. Often. So I want you to understand one thing very clearly. No matter what you do, or say, or plot... no matter how you come down on us I will never ever harm you. You're on this table you're safe. I'm your medic, and however little we may like or trust each other, we're on the same crew. Got the same troubles, same enemies and more than enough of both. Now we could circle each other and growl, both sleep with one eye open but that thought wearies me. I don't care what you've done. I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm trusting you. I think you should do the same, cause I don't see this working any other way.
(He exits. We hold wide on Jayne, thinking on what Simon has said, as River's head pops in the doorway at the other end of frame.)
River: Also, I can kill you with my brain.
(She pops back out, leaving Jayne to contemplate even more.)
(Wasteland)
(Mal sits naked on a sheared-off stump of stone. He lifts his head, and utters the now familiar…)
Mal: Yep... that went well.
(We pull back and see that Inara is standing right next to him. Serenity sits nearby with the Cargo Bay ramp open.)
Inara: You call this "going well"?
Mal: We got the loot, didn't we?
Inara: Yes, but --
Mal: Then I call it a win. What's the problem?
(He stands, starts casually walking back to Serenity with Inara, who does her best to not glance at his naughty bits.)
Inara: Should I start with the part where you're stranded in the middle of nowhere, or the part where you have no clothes?
Mal: All according to plan.
Inara: Really? I thought the plan was for me to act as a failsafe in case everything else went wrong. Like, for instance, if Saffron disabled Serenity and left you for dead.
Mal: Nonsense. You had a key role to play in this. How sad would you have been if you hadn't gotten to play it?
Inara: Heartbroken.
Mal: See? All according to plan. (They reach Serenity, where Zoe, Wash and Kaylee await. As Mal moves up the ramp.) Wash, take us out of the world. Zoe, contact Brennert and Ellison, see if they're interested in fencing a priceless artifact for us. (Zoe and Wash just stand there, staring at his nakedness.) What?
(Zoe and Wash mutter "nothing," "I'll get right to work," etc., as Kaylee smiles at Mal, not at all thrown.)
Kaylee: Good work, Cap'n
Mal: Thanks. (Kaylee goes off as Mal closes the ramp. As the ramp rises, Mal looks out at the wasteland with a certain fondness.) Good day. Good day.
(The ramp shuts.)
BLACK OUT