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Spike Quotes

*NOTE: When Spike is evil the font is in red, however after he gets the chip in his head I don’t really consider him to be a threat to anyone, so he’s really not evil anymore, and so accordingly the font is white.


Spike: Ahhhh, my head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. Ah... God... I wish I was dead.

Spike: What's this? Sittin' around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? It's not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Let's find her! She is the chosen one, after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them, for justice, and for... the safety of puppies... and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on!

Spike: Death is your art. You make it with your hands day after day. That final gasp, that look of peace. And part of you is desperate to know: What's it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land. She really wanted it. Every Slayer has a death wish. Even you.

Spike: So when do we destroy the world, already?

Spike: It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big.

Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Real love isn't brains, children. It's blood. It's blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.

Spike: I did a couple of slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. Who am I kidding? I love to brag. One time, during the Boxer Rebellion…

Spike: If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there it would've been like Woodstock. I was at Woodstock. I fed off a flower person and I spent six hours watching my hand move.

(In response to being asked to fight a troll)
Spike: I would, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.

Spike: I'm bad! It's just I can't bite anymore, thanks to you wankers... Bye the bye, if you're trying to kill her..." (gives Riley two thumbs up)

Spike: A slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.

Spike: We like to talk big... vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world." That's just tough-guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I _like_ this world. You've got...dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Good-bye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester-bloody-Square.

Spike: Help me out here, Spock, I don't speak loser.

Spike: Hey, I don't wanna keep you all from the touchy-feelies, but maybe the encounter group can meet later. Say, when we're not trapped in a house.

(To Buffy as they are trapped in her house the day after her birthday.)
Spike: So, you ever think about *not* celebrating a birthday? Just to try it, I mean.

Spike: You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda.

Spike: Do I have anyone on watch here?! It's called security, people. Are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?

Spike: The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one.

Spike: I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was, the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again. Love's a funny thing.

Spike: I know I'm not the first choice for heroics. And Buffy's tried to kill me more than once. And I don't fancy a single one of you at all but...actually all that sounds pretty convincing.

Spike: You know you take the killing for granted. And then it's gone. And you're like, I wish I'd appreciated it more. Stopped and smelled the corpses.

Spike: Right about the time you became so pig-headed. You have your way with him, you'll never get to destroy the world. And I don't fancy spending the next month trying to get librarian out of the carpet. There are other ways.

Spike: It's paradise. Big windows, lovely gardens. It'll be perfect when we want the sunlight to kill us.

Spike: Well, our old place was just fine 'til you went and had it burned down.

Spike: She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?

Spike: It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil, and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything: beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me. So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said... she said we could still be friends. God, I'm so unhappy!

Spike: No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally.

Spike: Listen to me, you stupid bint. This gem is everything. I came back to Sunnydale for it, a place which has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings of my ass.

Spike: Isn't it a fantastic day? Birds singin', squirrels making lots of rotten little squirrels, sun beamin' down in a nice non-fatal way. It's very exciting. Can't wait to see if I freckle.

Spike: You know there are quite a few American beers that are highly underrated. This, unfortunately, is not one of them.

Spike: Death is on your heels, baby. And sooner or later, it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it. Not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it.

Spike: "Beneath me." I'll show her. Six bloody feet beneath me. Hasn't got a death wish? Bitch won't need one.

Spike: Well, that was sad. I'm embarrassed for our kind.

Spike: Damn right I'm impure, I'm as impure as the driven yellow snow! Let me go!

Spike: Is everyone here very stoned?

Spike: I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man, and that's...

Spike: The thing about magic? There's always consequences. Always.

Spike: I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her. If I'd done that ... even if I didn't make it, you wouldn't've had to jump. I want you to know I did save you. Not when it counted, of course. But after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again, do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways ...Every night I save you.

Spike: Want me to take 'em out? Give me a hell of a headache, but I could probably thin the herd a little.

Spike: Dad can drive. He's bound to have some classic midlife-crisis transport. Something red, shiny, shaped like a penis.

Spike: I'm a hero really. I mean, to be cast such an ugly lot in life and then to rise above it. To seek out better, nobler things. It's inspirational, isn't it? And the two of us...natural enemies, thrown together to stand against the forces of darkness. Utter trust. No thought of me biting you, no thought of you staking me.


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