Bridger: You know intelligence will only take us so far, then we have to get out and walk.
(re: The alien pod.)
Lucas: What is that?
Piccolo: The pimple from hell!
Bridger: I don't understand. How can they classify a deleted file?
Lucas: That's what I wanted to know. So I ran a multi-cross-systems-global-searching dump.
Bridger: Well that sounds painful. What the hell is that?
Krieg: How did he know where I was?
O'Neil: Because it was your idea, Ben.
Ortiz: He probably just started in the sewer, and then working his way back up from there.
Dagwood: When did seaQuest get a horse?
Lucas: seaQuest doesn't have a horse.
Dagwood: We have a dolphin.
Lucas: Yes, but not a horse.
Dagwood: A horse is a horse.
Piccolo: Of course of course.
Lucas: Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
(re: The white horse Dagwood saw.)
Piccolo: It was in the hallway?
Dagwood: Yes. It was very fast.
Piccolo: Did it have a jockey?
Piccolo: Maybe I wanna place a bet.
Krieg: Excuse me, Gilligan to Skipper, but are you planning on staying out here any longer than we are?
Lucas: How can they sentence him to life? We don't even know how long a model K will live.
Piccolo: He stops breathing, they'll let him out.
Krieg: Don't write me off so quickly, I could be a woman.
Dr. Young: Life.
Krieg: Reminds me of a science fiction story I read when I was a kid. These explorers found a downed space ship, just like we did, only after they went inside, it took off. Ship hadn't crashed at all.
O'Neil: What happened to the people?
Krieg: They were dissected, eaten.
O'Neil: They were. Oh, I get it, har har.
(re: The empty city.)
Piccolo: Maybe the schools are no good. People hate that.
Ford: You had a blankie.
Ortiz: No, that was a blanket. My great grandmother knit that by hand.
Ford: No, it had little animals on it.
Ortiz: They were tigers raising their fists in triumph.
Ford: They were kittens waving bye bye.
Dagwood: I'm not a freak, I'm a prototype
Krieg: Tell ya what.... When we get to their capsule, waddya sat we mess with their snail samples?
Westphalen: In what way?
Krieg: I don't know, make escargot?
Ortiz: Did you really marry a tree?
Sara: No, it was just a one night stand. (laughs)
O'Neill: The more I read, the more questions I have. Every time I go past a library I get an anxiety attack.
Lucas: I'm a kid, it's my job to be hyper.
Henderson: How can you flunk a woman at a sexual harassment seminar?
Lucas: I dunno, I think 'been there, done that, I know where to kick them next time' was a bit to brief of an answer for the essay part of the test.
Lucas: Dagwood there are no horses on seaQuest. (looks at Tony) At least not a whole one.
Krieg: This is a submarine, can you say that?
Krieg: Good, this is not a monetary. Forget it, I'll pull some from my personal library.
Crocker: Well, join the Navy, see the world, and then some.
Krieg: I can explain that, I'm an idiot.
Lucas: Yeah. Have you ever wondered what Mycroft did when he disappeared?
Nick: All the time. The man's a complete enigma.
Julianna: The past has already happened. Today is always version 1.0. I don't want to know.
Piccolo: Come on. I'm an experimental.
(Ford and Bridger just look at him)
Piccolo: You know, I was in the can, they asked for volunteers, I raised my hand.
Ford: What is he talking about?
Piccolo: This is what I'm talking about. I got gills. (shows them his gills) I'm a surfer I figured they'd come in handy.
Bridger: What are you in for?
Piccolo: Armed robbery. I held up a health food restaurant with a slice of pizza.
Westphalen: We're not finished with this yet, Commander, not by a long shot. (leaves)
Nathan: She seems very committed.
Ford: She ought to be committed.
Krieg: Kristin, I'm sorry.
Westphalen: I knew it, I knew you ate those lobsters.
Krieg: I didn't know they were for an experiment.
Westphalen: What else would they be for?
Krieg: They were in the galley refrigerator.
Westphalen: To slow their metabolism, not to eat! Were they good?
Lawyer: Okay, Dagwood you may take the stand.
Dagwood: (picks up the stand) Okay David, where do you want me to take it?
Brody: How can we take him to the can. He's never even been kissed.
Dagwood: Will Dagwood get kissed in the can?
Brody: You can count on it.
(re: Ford playing 'Here Comes The Bride' on the piano)
O'Neil: You see. I'm gonna have to listen to that for weeks, maybe months.
Henderson: Maybe you'll get lucky and not live that long.
Piccolo: Lucas, wake up.
Piccolo: I wanna tell you a story about someone knocking at your door.
Lucas: Since when is it my door.
Piccolo: Since technically I'm still a guest here.
Lucas: And like fish they start to smell after three days.
Bridger: Can you give us a minute? I don't think I'm gonna slip him a flounder with a file in it.
Reinhart: Is there something about national security that you find amusing, Captain?
Bridger: Yes, quite a bit.
Lucas: This thing is wrapped tighter than Krieg's wallet.
Sara: It's why you were jealous of Miguel and me. That part of you thought he was Neptune. Medusa was in love with him too.
Ortiz: Neptune?! I'm cuban!
Head Alien: Self destruction is a fate sealed within the organism of all life bearing worlds.
Lucas: Solitare isn't an island Tony, it's a mountain. One of the tallest in the world. I mean you put it next to Mt. Everest and it's almost twice the size.
Piccolo: That's high right?
Lucas: For most of us, yeah.
Piccolo: I didn't say I didn't like Dagwood. I said he had a fake brain.
Wendy: You don't think that's hostile?
Piccolo: Nah. Hostile is like when I nail a guy cause he looked at me funny.
Ford: It's special circumstances.
Dagwood: We're special?
Piccolo: Yeah we're special. I'm a convict, you're a vericose vein.
Bridger: Can you read it?
O'Neill: Can I read Temecuan? I'm not that dull. Am I?
Bridger: Lucas, stick around.
Malcolm: Yeah, sure, sit down. I'll get ya a beer.
Bridger: He's only sixteen, Downy.
Malcolm: I'll get him two.
Lucas: Oh, I see, so as soon as there's a computer problem I'm back in favor. Well I'm not going and you can't make me. There are such things as child labor laws you know.
Dr. Young: I'll not be given the runaround by a flock of vapid lackey's.
Lucas: Ah, Captain, this is a Level One UEO sealed file. Opening it would be illegal.
Bridger: Why do you think I came to you.
Lucas: Good point.
Noyce: I certainly share your concern, but Captain Bridger must have good reasons for his actions.
Dr. Young: He most certainly does. He's lost his mind!
Krieg: I mean, I know you can't fault my work, so it's got to be my style, right?
Ford: Character, Krieg. You're supposed to have it, not be it.
Krieg: Could you imagine if I got to go over there?
Hitchcock: You gotta promise not to hug 'em. It might not be part of their culture.