(New York City street)
(Pinkish-gray slime oozes out of a street crack. Wheels of a baby carriage trail through it. Dana Barrett pushes the carriage along the street. Various New York people carry out unfriendly activities.)
Man: (he’s holding a parking ticket) (to Meter Maid) You can take this ticket. You can have this ticket and keep it! I'm not paying that ticket! You gotta do something!
(The Meter Maid laughs at him.)
(A young boy runs into a woman on crutches and runs off.)
Boy: Sorry, lady!
Woman On Crutches: Jesus! Jerk! Would you watch where you're going?
Lady: He's only interested in my buns.
(Dana approaches her building.)
Frank: Then I want you to go downstairs to the cellar and check the water lines to the boiler. Check the pump. I want you to do that today, can you do that?
Dana: Frank? Would you mind giving me a hand with these, please?
Frank: Hey, I ain't the doorman, Miss Barrett, I'm the building's superintendent.
Dana: (hands him the grocery bags) You're also a human being.
Frank: Okay, it's not my job, but what the hell, I'll do you a favor.
Dana: Listen, when are you going to get around to fixing the radiator in the baby's room? Though I asked you last week...
(The baby carriage begins to slowly roll away, and stops after a few feet.)
Frank: Didn't I do that?
Dana: It's getting really cold in there- (stops talking as she notices the baby carriage.) I... I... I...
Frank: Okay, well, it's no problem.
(The baby carriage begins to roll away again. Dana goes to stop it and it picks up speed. She begins running after it.)
Dana: Hey! Hey! Stop that carriage! Stop!
Moving Man1: Whoa!
Moving Man2: Get it!
(The carriage swerves to the right.)
Dana: (still chasing after the carriage) That's my baby! Watch out! Oscar! Watch out! My God! Please, stop that carriage!
(The carriage swerves around a bike and a car. Dana jumps for it and misses. She gets up and keeps running after it. The carriage goes right into an intersection on First Avenue.)
Dana: Oh! (The carriage stops suddenly, just before it's about to hit a bus. Dana runs into the street and picks up Oscar.) Oscar... oh...
(A very dirty Ecto-1 drives through the city. Makes clunking noises as it turns a corner.)
(Ecto-1 pulls up. Dr. Raymond Stantz and Winston Zeddemore get out of the car.)
(Brownstone – Inside)
(Ray and Winston are suited up.)
Ray: How many of them are there?
Woman: Fourteen. They're in here. I hope you can handle it. It's been like a nightmare!
Winston: How big are they?
Woman: Four feet.
(They enter the living room and there is a birthday party in progress. Kids are running around like crazy.)
Woman: Hey, hey, listen up, listen up- look who's here!
Ray & Winston: (entering) Hey, hi! How you doing, kids?
(All the kids boo them.)
Little Boy: Aw, I thought it was gonna be He-Man.
Winston: Hey, hey! I know! I know! Why don't we all sit down, and we'll have fun!
Jason: You know- you know, my dad says you guys are full of crap.
Woman: Jason, hush!
Ray: Well, some people have trouble believing in the paranormal.
Jason: No, he just says you guys are full of crap and that's why you went out of business.
Ray: (to Winston) Song.
(Winston hits the play button on a boom box and the “Ghostbusters Theme” song starts to play.)
Woman: Come on, everybody!
Ray & Winston: (singing along with tape) If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call?!
Kids: He-Man! He-Man! He-Man! He-Man!
Ray & Winston: (still singing) If there's something weird, and it don't look good...
Ray: Wanna go get a beer?...
Ray: Thank you! Call any time.
Winston: All right, that's it. I've had it, Ray. No more parties!
Ray: (handing him some money) Here's your share.
Winston: I'm tired of taking abuse from over-privileged nine-year-olds.
Ray: I know, Z, but we can't quit now. The holidays are coming up. It's our best season.
Winston: (taking off Ray's party hat) Ray, man, face it, Ghostbusters doesn't exist. Years from now, those kids won't even remember who we are.
Ray: Ungrateful little yuppie larva! After all we did for this city.
Winston: Yeah. Conjured up a hundred-foot marshmallow man, blew the top three floors off an uptown high-rise, ended up getting sued by every state, county and city agency in New York.
Ray: Yeah. But what a ride.
(Weaver Hall, Institute for Advanced Theoretical Research)
(Dana walks up and then goes inside)
(Dana is talking to Egon, filling him in on what happened with Oscar.)
Dana: ... went right out in the middle of traffic, and I started really running after it. And then it just suddenly stopped, right in the middle of the street.
Egon: Mm-hmm. And did anyone else see this happen?
Dana: Well, sure, hundreds of people. Egon, I didn't imagine this.
Egon: I'm not saying you did. It's just in science we always look for the simplest explanation.
Assistant: We're ready, Dr. Spengler.
Egon: Good. We'll start with the negative calibration.
Dana: What are you working on, Egon?
Egon: I'm trying to determine whether human emotions actually affect the physical environment. It's a theory Ray and I had when we were still Ghostbusters.
(A middle aged couple can been seen through the glass arguing.)
Dana: Can they see us?
Egon: No. They think they're here for marriage counseling. We've kept them waiting for two and a half hours and I've been gradually increasing the temperature in the room. It's up to ninety-five degrees at the moment. Now my assistant is asking them if they'd mind waiting another half hour. (The assistant asks the couple if they’d mind waiting. The man gets very angry. He bangs his head against the wall. Egon checks his readings.) Oh, good. Very good. Very, very nice.
Dana: So, Egon, what do you think?
Egon: Excellent. Just excellent. (to assistant) We'll do the happiness index next.
Dana: I mean, about the carriage.
Egon: Well, I'd like to bring Ray in on this, if you don't mind.
Dana: Sure! Whatever you think... but not Venkman.
Egon: Oh, no.
Dana: Do you ever see him?
Dana: (turns away) How is he these days?
Egon: Peter? Oh, he was borderline for a while. Then he crossed the border.
Dana: Does he ever mention me?
Egon: No. (while Dana’s back is turned he runs a meter over her and checks the readings)
Dana: Well, we didn't part on very good terms, and we sort of lost track of each other after I got married.
Assistant: We're ready for the affection test.
Egon: Good, send in the puppy, please.
(In another room a cute little puppy is given to a young girl.)
Dana: I thought of getting in touch with him after my marriage ended, but- aw. Isn't that sweet? (she watches the little girl and the puppy) I appreciate your doing this.
Egon: Try not to worry.
Dana: Here's my phone number- you'll call me?
Dana: I'd rather you didn't mention any of this to Peter, if you don't mind.
Egon: No, I won't, I won't.
Dana: Thanks. (kisses him goodbye on the cheek and leaves.)
Egon: (to his assistant) Let's see what happens when we take away the puppy.
(Dr. Peter Venkman is chatting with his two guests just before his show, "World of the Psychic with Dr. Peter Venkman", begins taping.)
Peter: Hi! Welcome back to World of the Psychic. I'm Peter Venkman. I'm chatting with my guest, author, lecturer and psychic Milton Anglund. Milt, your new book is called "The End of the World". Now, can you tell us when it's gonna be or do we have to buy the book?
Milton: Well, I predict that the world will end at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve.
Peter: This year?
Peter: Well, that's cutting it a little bit close, isn't it! I mean- just from a sales point of view! I mean, Your book is just coming out, you're not going to see any paperback sales for at least a year, it'll be at least another year before you know whether you've got that mini-series or movie of the week kind of possibilities- I mean, just devil's advocate, Miltie! Shouldn't you have said, "Hey, the world's gonna end in 1992!" or better yet, 1994!
Milton: Dr. Venkman, Dr. Venkman, this is not some money-making scheme, all right! I have a strong psychic belief that the world will end on New Year's Eve.
Peter: Well, for your sake I hope you're right, okay, but I think my other guest may disagree with you. Elaine, now you had another date in mind?
Elaine: According to my source, the end of the world will be on February 14th in the year 2016.
Peter: Valentine's Day- bummer. Where'd you get your date, Elaine?
Elaine: I received this information from an alien. As I told my husband: It was in the Paramus Holiday Inn. I was having a drink at the bar, alone, and this alien approached me, he started talking to me, he bought me a drink and then I think he must have used some kind of a ray or a mind control device, because he forced me to follow him to his room, and that's where he told me about the end of the world.
Peter: So your alien had a room at the Holiday Inn in Paramus?
Elaine: It might have been a room on the spacecraft made up to look like a room at the Holiday Inn. I can't be sure about that, Peter.
Peter: (getting up) Of course not. And that is the whole problem with aliens, is you just can't trust them. Occasionally you meet a nice one-Starman, E.T. But usually they turn out to be some kind of big lizard! That's all the time we've got for this week on World of the Psychic. Next week, though- (aside) Gimme Ira. (someone hands him a hairless cat) Hairless pets. Weird! (gives the cat back to the person) Until then, this is Peter Venkman, saying, (pretends to send a psychic message- then laughs) See you then! Bye.
Peter: Norman, where do you find these people? Weren't we supposed to have the telekinetic guy who bends the spoons?
Norman: He canceled. This is the best we could do on such short notice. Look, no respected psychic will come on the show! They think you're a fraud.
Peter: I am a fraud. (sees Mayor) Mr. Mayor! Lenny! Lenny? It's Pete Venkman! (Jack Hardemeyer stops him from going after the Mayor.)
Hardemeyer: Can I help you?
Peter: Yeah, get your hand off me. Thank you! I'm an old friend of the mayor's. I wanted to say hello and give him a kiss.
Hardemeyer: I'm Jack Hardemeyer. I'm the mayor's assistant. I know who you are, Dr. Venkman. I just don't see any ghosts anywhere. (looks around for some ghosts)
Peter: Well, that's why I wanted to talk to His Highness. See, we did a little job for the city a while back and got stiffed on the bill by some bureaucratic bookworm like yourself.
Hardemeyer: Look, you stay away from the mayor. He's running for governor next fall and the last thing we need is for him to be associated with two-bit frauds and publicity hounds like you and your friends. (leaves)
Peter: You know, I'm a voter! Aren't you supposed to lie to me and kiss my butt?
(Manhattan Museum of Art)
(A painting of Vigo the Carpathian is being wheeled into the room. The Director of Restoration Janosz Poha is directing where the painting should go.)
Janosz: (with accent) All right, yes. Now I want you to put the Vigo in the arch. Into the arch, there. (He begins walking through the rows of restorers studying their work.) Everything you are doing is bad. I want you to know this. - You be careful there. All right? -No one listens to me. (He goes over to Dana.) Well, Dana! How are you doing? How's this Bonnington coming?
Dana: It's coming along fine. This mixture you gave me is working really well.
Janosz: Yes, well I make pretty good cocktails, don't I? Yes, you're doing really quite good work there.
Dana: Thank you.
Janosz: Think it won't be long before you can assist me in more important restorations. (He pulls a little white thing out of her hair and she turns to look at him.) Just a white thing, there.
Dana: Well, thank you, Dr. Poha-
Dana: Janosz. I've enjoyed working here, but now that my baby's a little older I'm going to try to go back to the orchestra.
Janosz: Oh, I am sorry to hear that, that you will not be not here. Could I say goodbye, you know, maybe bring you to a brunch today?
Dana: Well, I can't today. I have an appointment- in fact, I'd better go! (stands up and gathers her things)
Janosz: I don't understand this. You know, every day I say, "Well, can you do something?", you say "No, I can't do something"- do I have the bad breath or something?
Dana: Of course not. (leaves)
Janosz: Well... I'll give you a rain check! (He watches her leave while he stands in front of the Vigo painting.) I think that she likes me. No, I do, I truly do...
(Vigo’s head bulges out of the painting as it watches Janosz.)
(Ray's Occult Books)
(Ray sits behind the counter while Egon stands looking at a book. Both of them are researching occurrences of what happened to Dana and Oscar.)
Egon: This one's interesting, Ray. Berlin, 1939. A flower cart took off by itself. Rolled half a kilometer. Three hundred eyewitnesses.
Ray: (to customer) My best to the coven. (The customer leaves and he turns back to Egon.) Berlin, huh? You know, we should also check Duke University's mean averaging studies on controlled psychokinesis.
Egon: I pulled it.
Peter: (entering) Ah, perhaps you could help me. I am looking for a love potion aerosol that I could spray on a certain Penthouse pet to obtain her total submission.
Egon: Hello, Venkman.
Ray: Hi, Pete, how's it going?
Peter: Hey, well, hi, Egon. How's school? Bet those science chicks really dig that large cranium of yours.
Egon: I think they're more interested in my epididemis.
Peter: Ray, let's close this place up so you can buy me a calzone.
Ray: Oh, I really can't do that right now, Pete. I'm working on something. But your book came in! (holds up a book) "Magical Paths to Fortune and Power".
Peter: (takes book) Thank you.
Egon: Good luck with that, Venkman.
Peter: Will you put this on my account, please?
Egon: Ray, take a look at this. (holds a book up for Ray to see)
Ray: Oh, yeah.
Peter: What are you guys working on?
Ray: Ah, well, we're just kind of…(Egon clears his throat and shoots Ray a look) …checking something out for an old friend.
Peter: Neat! Who?
Ray: Ah- (phone rings) Ray's Occult. - 7:00 on weekdays, midnight on Saturdays. - Thank you. (hangs up)
Ray: Who? Oh, just somebody we know.
Peter: Oh. (he grabs Ray’s hears and pinches them.)
Ray: Aggh! Aggh!
Ray: I can't! No, no, no! No, I can't, I-
Peter: Yes you can, yes you can! Who?!
Ray: Nobody, nobody!
Peter: Can you tell me now? (pinches tighter)
Ray: Aggh! I can't, no, I-
Ray: Aggh, aggh, Dana Barrett!
Peter: (letting him go) My Dana Barrett?
(Dana is practicing her cello. Knock on door.)
Dana: I'll get it!
(She gets up and goes over to the door. It’s Ray and Egon.)
Ray: Hi, Dana.
Dana: Hi, Ray. How good to see you! (they hug) Thanks for coming.
Ray: Hey, no problem. Always glad to help- and hug!
Egon: Hello, Dana.
Dana: (hugging him) Hi, Egon.
Ray: Nice place.
(Dana goes to shut the door but Peter bursts through.)
Peter: Well, I know I'm just asking for the big hurt but I thought I'd give us one more chance.
Ray: He tortured me! He pulled my ears!
Dana: It’s okay. Hello, Peter.
Peter: (sexy voice) Hello, Dana.
Dana: (to Egon and Ray) So, what would you like to do first?
Egon: We'd like to examine the baby first.
Ray: Yeah. And anything associated with the baby. Especially stuffed toys. Things with fabrics in them.
Egon: And we'd like to see the buggy.
Dana: All right. Can I put him over here?
Ray: And wherever he sleeps.
Egon: (pointing to the table) This will be fine.
Ray: This okay?
Ray: We'll have to lay him down flat.
Dana: (to Oscar) Okay, sweetheart, now they're gonna take a look at you.
Egon: A little precursory medical examination.
Ray: What do you say? Gamel and Pross Infant Acuity Test?
Egon: Sounds good, we'll finish off with an Apgar score.
Dana: It's nothing that's going to hurt him, right?
Ray and Egon: No!
Egon: No, I don't think so. He'll be fine.
(They all look over when Peter begins playing Dana’s cello like a guitar. Dana walks over to him.)
Ray: You ever done this before?
Egon: On a chimp...
Peter: So, whatever happened to Mr. Right, anyway? I heard he ditched you and ran off to Europe.
Dana: He didn't ditch me. We had some problems, and he got a very good job offer from an orchestra in London, and he took it.
Peter: So he ditched you.
Ray: (to a tape recorder) Okay. Subject is a male Caucasian, approximately-
Egon: (measuring) 24 inches.
Ray: 24 inches in length. Subject weighs approximately 18 pounds and is about eight months old. Ocular?
Egon: (shining a light into Oscar’s eyes) Pupilary response normal.
(They snap their fingers on either side of Oscar’s head and he turns to look at each of them.)
Egon: Is normal.
Ray: Papillary reflex?
(They tickle Oscar.)
Egon: Appears to be ticklish.
Ray: Yep, baby ticklish.
Peter: You know, you'd have been better off marrying me.
Dana: You never asked me. And whenever I brought it up, you'd get drowsy and fall asleep.
Peter: You never got it, Dana. I'm a man! I'm sensitive! I need to feel loved! I need to be desired!
Dana: It was when you started introducing me as the old ball and chain. That's when I left.
Peter: Well, I may have a lot of personal problems but I'm a total professional when it comes to my job. (he quickly goes over to Egon and speaks into the stethoscope.) Egon? What are we doing?
Egon: He seems be fine, Dana.
Dana: He's very healthy.
Ray: When he does sleep, where do you put him?
Dana: Right around here, I'll show you.
Egon: (to Peter) Venkman? Get a stool specimen.
Peter: Business or personal?
Dana: It's a little messy.
Ray: Well, we don't wanna play with anything, we just want to sweep for valances.
Egon: Hmm. Very cheerful. My parents didn't believe in toys.
Peter: (to Oscar) You wanna play with a big kid? - You know, I should have been your father. I mean, I could have been. (shakes Oscar’s hand) I understand. (He picks Oscar up and whistles a tune. Oscar leans in and playfully bites him on the nose.) Help, he's gone completely berserk! Help!
Ray and Egon: (hearing Peter) Uh-oh.
(Dana leaves to see what’s going on.)
Ray: You mean, you never even had a Slinky?
Egon: We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it.
Peter: (stops what he’s doing when he spots Dana) He had some sort of a clear liquid coming out of his mouth, too.
Dana: Yes, well, that happens. Well, what do you think?
Peter: Well, he's ugly. I mean, he's not elephant-man ugly, but he's not attractive. Was his father ugly?
Dana: (to Oscar) Don't listen.
Peter: And he stinks. You're ripe, Señor! Did his father stink? Yeah? Daddy was a smelly? Huh? What's your name?
Dana: His name is Oscar.
Peter: Oh! Named after a hot dog! You poor man! You poor, poor man!
Dana: Oh, but seriously- there's nothing unusual about him, is there?
Peter: Well, I don't have a lot of experience with babies. But you're excited now, because Mama's here to get you a stool sample! Right Mama?
Dana: Stool sample?!
Peter: So what, braniac?
Egon: I'd like to do some gynelogical tests on the mother.
Peter: Who wouldn't?
Egon: Let's check the street.
(From the sidewalk Dana points to where the carriage stopped.)
Dana: It stopped right over there! In the middle of the crosswalk!
Peter: All right, I can handle this. (begins walking through traffic even though it’s moving.)
Ray: Hey, Venkman, hold on.
Peter: We're scientists! Excuse us! Get out of the way! Thanks a lot, we've got work for you here. Thanks! Appreciate it. Thanks a lot.
Taxi Driver: You gonna get out of there or what?
Peter: Relax! You're on the meter! Come on, hey! We're scientists! Get out of the way!
(Ray and Egon lean down and scan the area.)
Ray: Whoa-ho-ho! I think we hit the honey pot! There's something brewing under the street. I've got 1118 on the PKE!
Egon: 2.5 GEVs on the Geiger meter.
Dana: Well, what does that mean?
(Ray and Egon just look at each other. They know what it means.)
(Time Lapse – Night)
(Egon, dressed in construction crew clothes, is drilling a giant hole in the middle of First Avenue. Peter and Ray are no where around. A police car pulls up and a cop starts talking to Egon.)
Cop: Hey! How ya doing?
Egon: Fine, fine! It's cutting fine now!
Cop: Great. Why are you cutting?
Egon: Why am I cutting?
Egon: (spotting Ray and Peter) Boss!
(Peter and Ray run over to him.)
Peter: Who told you to stop cutting? Someone tell you to stop cutting? (to Cop) Did you tell him to stop cutting?
Cop: Yes, I told him to stop cutting. What are you doing?
Peter: What does it look like we're doing? Why don't you let us work? We let you work!
Ray: Take it easy. He's been working overtime. I'll tell you why we're here, we're here because some diaper back downtown is being a jerk and making us work on a Friday night. Am I right, Peter?
Peter: Of course you're right, Raymond. Is he right, Ziggy?
(They all laugh as the cop leaves.)
Cop: All right, take it easy, all right? (drives off)
Ray: What have you been doing?
Egon: What have I been doing? While you're getting coffee for an hour? I've been digging a big hole in the middle of the street!
Ray: Wow! Looks like you've uncovered an old airshaft! It just goes on and on!
Egon: It's very intense. We should get a deeper reading.
Ray: Yeah, we're gonna need a deeper reading.
Egon: Yeah, somebody has to go down there.
Ray: Yeah, somebody's gotta go down there.
(He looks surprised as both Peter and Egon turn to look at him.)
(Manhattan Museum of Art)
(Janosz is working on the painting of Vigo. Suddenly the painting fires orange bolts of lightening at him. Janosz screams as he falls of the ladder. The painting changes to reveal the floating head of Vigo.)
Vigo: Listen to me!
Janosz: What?! Who?!
Vigo: I, Vigo, the Scourge of Carpathia, the Sorrow of Moldavia, command you.
Janosz: Oh! Command me, lord!
Vigo: On a mountain of skulls in the castle of pain I sat on a throne of blood. What was will be! What is will be no more! Now is the season of evil...
Vigo: Find me a child that I might live again!
(The painting returns to normal.)
Janosz: Yes! A child! A child!... A child? (Suddenly the lightening comes out of the painting again and blasts him directly in the eyes. He stands there for a moment looking stunned.) A child...
Peter: (into headset) You all right?
(Ray is being lowered on a wire.)
Ray: (into headset) Yeah, I'm good. Speed's good, boys. Keep it coming. We're breaking through, I see some light. I'm in some kind of a chamber. There's tilework- SLIME!!!
Peter: (into headset) What?
Ray: (into headset) It's a river of slime! There's gotta be 25,000 gallons of it! It's flowing through here like a river! Van Horne! Pneumatic transit. I can't believe it! It's the old pneumatic transit system! It's still here! Okay! Whoa, whoa! That's good! Hold me up! Hold me up! That's good!
Peter: (into headset) What do you see?
(Behind him a Police car drives up.)
Ray: (into headset) All right, let's see if I can get a sample.
Cop: What's going on here? Hey! What's the story?
Peter: Hey, what, you boneheads are gonna roust me out again? I've got three thousand phones out on Greenwich Village! I got about eight million miles of cable I gotta check! You gonna come and shake my monkey tree again?
Phone Guy: What are you talking about, buddy? The phone lines are over there!
Peter: What'd I say to you?! (smacks Egon over the head angrily) The phone lines are over there! What'd I say? How many times?!
Cop: Hey! Hey! Hey! You're not with Con Ed or the phone company. We checked. So tell me another one.
Peter: I got a major gas leak here! (points to some steam) Where do you think all this is coming from? The sky?
(Ray has gotten his slime sample. Suddenly the slime begins to reach up and try to grab at his feet.)
Ray: (into headset) Uh, okay, boys? Boys? Pick me up now. All right, there's some kind of tyranny going on with this stuff. Boys? Hey, help! Pick me up!
Peter: Hey! Start! Start!
(They begin to pull Ray up.)
Ray: Boys? Hey, what's going on up there? Come on! Get me out of this hole! Aggh!
(His foot hits a pipe that falls onto a power wire.)
(Everything goes dark.)
(New York City)
(The whole city gets dark.)
(Dana’s Apartment Building)
Dana: (to Oscar) Hello, sweetheart. Hello. Go back to sleep, darling...(there is a knock at the door) Who is it?
Janosz: (os) It's Janosz!
Dana: (to herself) Janosz... (louder to Janosz as she sets Oscar down in his crib) Hello, Janosz! (opens door) This is a surprise.
Janosz: Ah, hello. Yes, well, I happened to be here in this neighborhood, and I thought that I would stop by to see how is it with you. You know, because of all this blackness.
Dana: We're fine, thank you.
Janosz: Well, then you're okay. And how is the baby?
Dana: He's okay.
Janosz: (to Oscar) Woo-ooh!
Dana: He's sleeping.
Janosz: Oh, but I woo!
Dana: It's okay.
Janosz: Do you need anything, you know? You want me to come in?
Dana: No, thank you.
Janosz: Ah, well. just thought that I would check. You know. Well, hey, you; don't let the bedbugs bite.
Dana: Good night, Janosz.
(Dana closes the door. Janosz turns away and begins walking down the hall with bright lights coming from his eyes.)
Judge: Before we begin this trial I want to one thing very clear. The law does not recognize the existence of ghosts. I don't believe in them either. Don't wanna hear a lot of malarkey about goblins and spooks and demons. We're gonna stick to the facts in this case and leave the ghost stories to the kiddies, understood?
Winston: (to the guys) Wow. Sounds like a pretty open-minded guy.
Egon: Yeah, they call him The Hammer.
Ray: What can we do? It's all in the hands of our lawyer now.
(Louis Tully comes stumbling up carrying a lot of books.)
Louis: I think you guys are making a big mistake. I mostly do tax laws and probate stuff occasionally. I got my law degree at night school!
Ray: Well, that's fine, Louis. We got arrested at night. (puts his head on the desk)
Hardemeyer: (to the Prosecutor) Look, just put these guys away fast and make sure they go away for a long, long time, okay?
Prosecutor: I don't think it's gonna be hard with this list of charges.
Hardemeyer: Good. Very good. (to Peter) Violating a judicial restraining order, willful destruction of public property, fraud, malicious mischief- see you in a couple of years, at your first parole hearing. (walks off)
Peter: You'll never take us alive!
Judge: All right, all right, let's get on with it.
Louis: Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the- of the audience. I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds! Okay, so the blackout was a big problem for everybody, okay? I was stuck in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don't blame them! Because one time I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you. (walks back to his table)
Egon: Very good, Louis. Short but pointless.
(The Prosecutor is now talking to the Con Ed Supervisor.)
Prosecutor: Mr. Fianella, please look at Exhibits A through F on the table over here. Do you recognize this equipment?
Con Ed Supervisor: Yeah. That's the stuff the cops took from their truck.
Prosecutor: Do you know what this equipment is used for?
Con Ed Supervisor: I don't know... catching ghosts, maybe? I dunno.
(The judge looks irritated at that.)
Prosecutor: May I remind the court that the defendants are under a judicial restraining order that strictly forbids them from performing services as paranormal investigators or eliminators.
Judge: So done.
Prosecutor: (handing Mr. Fianella a jar of slime) Now, Mr. Fianella- can you identify the substance in this jar marked Exhibit F?
Con Ed Supervisor: Yeah, that's the stuff, all right. Your Honor, I've been working underground for Con Ed for twenty-seven years. I never saw anything like this in my life. Whatever's down there, they must have put it there.
Ray: (jumping up) No, we didn't!
Judge: Shut up! (Bangs his gavel. The slime bubbles.)
(Louis is now questioning Peter. Peter is feeding him the lines as he speaks.)
Louis: So you were just trying to help out a friend, who was scared of what was happening to her, when you're scared, there was no evil intended, no malice, because you live here and when you live in a place and you love it like you do you don't want nothing bad to happen, because it'll never happen again, it's an isolated incident, it's a one shot deal-
Prosecutor: Objection, Your Honor!
Prosecutor: He's leading the witness.
Louis: (to Prosecutor) Give me a break, we're both lawyers...
Judge: Mr. Tully, do you have any questions for this witness that might have some bearing on this case?
Louis: (to Peter) Do I?
Peter: No, we've helped them out enough already.
Louis: No, Your Honor. (to Prosecutor) Your witness.
Prosecutor: Dr. Venkman, would you please tell the court why it is that you and your co-defendants took it upon yourselves to dig a very big hole in the middle of First Avenue?
Peter: Well, there are so many holes in First Avenue, we really didn't think anyone would notice.
(The people in the court room laugh.)
Judge: Keep that up, mister, I'll find you in contempt.
(The slime bubbles.)
Peter: I'm truly sorry, Your Honor.
Prosecutor: I'll ask you again, Dr. Venkman, why were you digging the hole? And please remember you're under oath.
Peter: There are some things in this world that go way beyond human understanding. Things that cannot be explained. Things that some don't even want to know about! That is where we come in.
(Ray and Egon nod.)
Prosecutor: So what you're saying is that the world of the supernatural is your exclusive province?
Peter: Kitten, I think that what I'm saying is that sometimes, shit happens, someone has to deal with it, and who ya gonna call?
(The courtroom audience cheers.)
Judge: (banging the gavel) Shut up!
(The Judge is now passing sentence.)
Judge: Peter Venkman, Raymond Stantz, Egon Spengler, stand up. Get up! You too, Mr. Tully. (they all stand) I find you guilty on all charges! I order you to pay fines in the amount of $25,000 each! (the slime begins to bubble more, and Ray sees it) I sentence you to eighteen months in the city correctional facility at Rikers Island!
Ray: (to Egon) Iggy! She's twitching!
Judge: I'm not finished! On a more personal note, let just me go on record as saying that there is no place for fakes, charlatans…
(All the guys notice the slime bubbling like crazy, but the Judge is oblivious.)
Egon: Uh, Your Honor?
Judge: Shut up!- and tricksters like you in decent society!
Ray: Your Honor!
Peter: Your Honor, this is important!
(The slime keeps bubbling.)
Judge: You prey upon the gullibility of innocent people!
Ray: Yes, sir.
Judge: Be quiet!
Ray: But- (points to the slime)
Judge: And believe me, if my hands were not tied by the unalterable fetters of the law! And I would indulge in the tradition of our illustrious forbears...(Peter, Ray, Egon, and Louis all duck under the table.) ... reach back, to a purer, sterner justice, and have you burned at the stake!
(Suddenly there is an explosion and two ghosts shoot out of the slime and hover above the courtroom.)
Judge: Oh my God, the Scoleri brothers! (The brothers go to attack him in his bench so he jumps from it just in time and goes to hide with the gang under the table.) Scoleri brothers!
Ray: Friends of yours?
Judge: I tried them for murder! Gave them the chair! You gotta do something!
Egon: Why don't you tell them you don't believe in ghosts?
(The Scoleri brothers throw the table away- the five run for cover.)
Judge: You gotta do something! Help me!
Ray: Don't talk to me, talk to my attorney.
Louis: And that's me! My guys are still under a judicial mistrangement order! That blue thing I got from her! They could be exposing themselves!
Peter: And you don't want us exposing ourselves.
(They all turn and look as the Scoleri brothers throw the Prosecutor out the doors to the courtroom.)
Peter: You're next, bubbles.
Judge: All right, all right! I rescind the order! Case dismissed!
Louis: Hooray, we won the case!
Judge: Now do something!
(The Ghostbusters suit up.)
Peter: (putting on a proton pack which is obviously heavy) Oh... oh, I always hated this part of the business. You know, it's been a couple of years since we used this stuff. I hope it still works.
Egon: It should. The power cells have a half-life of five thousand years.
Ray: Well, there's no time for a bench test! Heat ‘em up!
Peter: (charging his pack) Doe...
Ray: (charging his pack) Ray...
Egon: (charging his pack) Egon!
(Peter gives Egon a look and Egon just smiles smugly at him. Suddenly chairs start flying around.)
(The three open fire and miss. The Scoleri brothers fly away. They all laugh thinking that the brothers are gone, but then they suddenly come back. Peter fires and catches one.)
Peter: Come on big boy! Let's go! Let's go! I'm gonna take you home to my private zoo!
Ray: You got him! You got him! Spengie, bring out the trap!
Egon: Behind you, Ray!
(Ray fires and gets the other one.)
Ray: Keep pulling to the right!
Egon: OK, trap's going out.
Ray: No, no, no, Venkie!
Egon: Hold it, Ray!
Ray: Hit it!
(Egon closes the trap and the ghosts go in.)
Ray: Two in the box!
Peter: Ready to go!
Egon: We be fast...
Peter, Ray and Egon: ... and they be slow!
(The gang comes walking out to talk to the people outside.)
Peter: We're the best, we're the beautiful, we're the only- Ghostbusters.
Ray: We’re back!
(The phone rings. A hand reaches down to pick up the phone. We pan up and we see that it’s Janine Melnitz.)
Janine: Ghostbusters. - Yes, we're back.
(The Ghostbusters run down the street.)
(Outside Ghostbusters HQ)
(A workman puts the new Ghostbusters II sign up. Ecto-1A drives off.)
Louis: We accept certified check, cash or money order!
(Street – Night)
(Ecto-1A turns a corner going very fast.)
(Another Street – Day)
(The Ghostbusters come out of a store with Santa hats on.)
(Ray and Egon scoop up some slime.)
(A ghost jogger goes running by. Everyone jumps out of his way. Peter hits the trap and the ghost gets sucked in.)
(Hardemeyer is watching a Ghostbuster commercial on TV.)
(On the TV Louis and Janine are asleep in bed. Suddenly an obviously fake ghost swings by and Janine wakes up and screams.)
Louis: What is it, honey?
Janine: It's that darn ghost again! He just won't leave us alone! I guess we're just going to have to move!
(Janine moves to get out of the bed, but Louis stops her.)
Louis: (picking up the phone) No, wait! Don't worry! We're not moving, he is!
Janine: Who are you going to call?
Peter, Ray, Egon, and Winston: Ghostbusters!
(The Ghostbusters slide down the pole.)
(Ray is driving Ecto-1A way too quickly. He is shouting something. Peter and Egon both look at each other, worried.)
(The Ghostbusters run in.)
(A setup of many traps firing beams malfunctions and brings a lot of fine crystal coming down to the ground. Crash.)
(Slimer is eating something in Louis's lunch box very messily.)
Louis: (walking up) Janine, lunch! Boy, it smells like somebody took a big…
(He looks up and sees Slimer floating there. They both scream and run/fly away.)
(Ray and Egon scoop up some slime.)
(Ecto-1A drives along.)
(The Ghostbusters come to Ecto-1A.)
(Dana is watching a Ghostbusters commercial and feeding Oscar.)
Winston: (on TV) ...with our special half-price service plan.
Peter: (on TV) What! Hold on- half-price? Have we all gone mad?
Ray: (on TV) I guess so, Pete, because that's not all. Tell them, Egon!
Egon: (on TV) Oh, you mean the Ghostbusters hot beverage thermal mug and free balloons for the kids?
(Caption: "LIMIT ONE PER FAMILY")
(Ghostbusters HQ – Lab)
(Ray takes some slime out of the microwave.)
Ray: We've been experimenting with the plasma we found in the subway tunnel. (he sets the slime down on the pool table.) Careful.
Peter: Should I get spoons?
Egon: Don't bother. Watch this. Go ahead, Ray.
Ray: You! You worthless piece of slime! You ignorant, disgusting blob!
(As Ray and Egon yell at the slime it bubbles angrily.)
Egon: You're nothing but an unstable, short-chain molecule!
Ray: You foul, obnoxious mob!
Egon: You have a weak electrochemical bond!
Ray: I have seen some disgusting crud in my time, but you take the cake! You are…you’re just…
(Winston stops Ray from shouting anymore.)
Peter: This is what you do with your spare time.
Ray: Peter, this is an incredible breakthrough. I mean, what a discovery! A psychoreactive substance! Whatever this stuff is, it responds to human emotional states.
Peter: Mood slime. (to slime) Oh, baby... (it bubbles)
Winston: You mean this stuff actually feeds on bad vibes.
Ray: Like a cop in a donut factory.
Egon: We've been running tests to see if we can get an equally strong positive reaction.
Peter: What kind of tests?
Ray: Well, we sing to it, and we talk to it, and say supportive, nurturing things to it...
Peter: You're not sleeping with it, are you, Ray? (Both Ray and Egon look away.) Oh, you!
Winston: It's always the quiet ones.
Peter: You hound!
Egon: (changing the subject) How about the kinetic test?
Egon: (putting a toaster on pool table) Ordinary household toaster.
Peter: I'll take your word for that.
Ray: (putting slime in it) It responds to music, so we've been doing some experimentation. Playing easy listening. Middle-of-the-road type stuff. You know, Paul Young, Dust In The Wind, that works okay.
Peter: It works for me.
Egon: It loves Jackie Wilson.
(Music: "(Your Love Has Lifted Me) Higher and Higher')
Peter: Sheesh! You guys do this at night when I'm not here? Oh, I get it, it sings! It sounds exactly like Jackie, that's fantastic.
Egon: Just watch.
Peter: Does it do Emmy Lou Harris? (toaster jumps) Oh, it dances too. (toaster keeps dancing)
Ray: Shake it up!
(The toaster spits out toast- music goes off.)
Peter: (hugging toaster) Oh! Oh, oh baby, oh, you're my number one Christmas boutique gift item!
Winston: Right, and the first time somebody gets mad the toaster could eat their hand.
Peter: No, no, no, no, we put a warning label on it, we don't have any liability- (acts as though the toaster has attacked his hand) Aggh! Ow! Oh! (Egon gets the toaster off his hand.) Oh! Oh, did you ever go for it. The old man-eating-toaster gig!
Ray: Get him!
(Manhattan Museum of Art)
Peter: Hello. I'm looking for Dana Barrett.
Museum Guard: Room 304, restoration.
Peter: Thank you.
Museum Guard: Dr. Venkman? World of the Psychic?
Peter: Yes! (they shake hands) That's right. How ya doing?
Museum Guard: I'm a big, big fan of yours!
Peter: Thank you very much. Thank you.
Museum Guard: It used to be one of my two favorite shows.
Peter: You're kidding me. Oh, great. What was the other one?
Museum Guard: Bass Masters. It's a fishing show.
Peter: Yeah, I know Bass Masters. Sure.
(The painting of Vigo smiles at Dana as she walks by. She looks up at the painting, but it has gone back to normal. She is a little bothered though. Peter enters and sees her touching up a painting.)
Peter: You're good- pretty eyes.
Dana: I didn't paint it. I'm just cleaning it. It's a Gocan.
Peter: Oh, I've heard of him.
Janosz: (walking up) Well, Dana, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?
Dana: Sure. Peter Venkman, this is Dr. Janosz Poha, the head of our department.
Janosz: (touching Peter's hand lightly and then letting go) Yes, I have of course seen you on the television. Quite enjoy. Not here on business, I hope.
Peter: Well, it's top secret. (sees the Vigo painting) Say, Johnny! You've got a Gocan too!
Janosz: No, actually, I am preparing this portrait for our new Romantic exhibition. Yes. This is Prince Vigo, the ruler of Carpathian Moldavia.
Peter: (imitating Vigo's pose) Bit of a sissy, isn't he?
Janosz: He was a very powerful magician, Dr. Venkman, and a genius in many ways.
Dana: He was also a lunatic and a genocidal madman. I hate this painting. I've felt uncomfortable ever since it came up from storage.
Peter: Well, you're probably feeling what Vigo's feeling. Carpathian kitten loss! He's missed his kitten! (grabs some paint) We'll just put one in here by the castle.
Janosz: (getting in front of the painting) No, don't go around altering my life's work, Dr. Venkman. Go. Yes, I think, go. Yes. The joyfulness is over!
Dana: He's kidding... (drags Peter away)
Peter: Well, you're not gonna get a green card with that attitude, pal, okay! (to Dana) Oh of course, of course, I get it! You're sweet on this hunky stud, aren't you!
Dana: You know, Peter, every now and then I get the feeling that painting is watching me. Even smiling at me.
(They both turn and look back at the painting and see Janosz talking to it. They glance back at each other, uneasy.)
(Dana’s Apartment – Bathroom)
(Dana walks in carrying Oscar.)
Dana: You know, I think we got more food on your shirt than we did in your mouth. (runs some water) Bath... yes, bath. It's your favorite thing. Bath. It's your favorite thing! It's your favorite thing! Because I know what you get to do. You know what you get to do? You know what's more fun than anything? Huh? Splash Mommy. "I get to splash Mommy!" Yes! (Undresses him- tickles him with some weird stomach-sucking thing. The water has stopped running and instead, slime is coming out.) Now to get ready for this, Mommy's going to take her shirt off too...
(Takes off shirt- picks Oscar up. Turns around. The mass of pink slime reaches for Oscar and attacks. She screams and runs.)
(Peter is asleep on the couch. Suddenly there is a pounding at his front door and we can hear a baby crying.)
Dana: (os) Peter, it's me! Please! Let us in!
Peter: (getting up) What the hell is this?
Dana: (os) Peter! Let us in, please! (he does so) I didn't know where else to go... the most awful thing happened. The bathtub, the bathtub was trying to eat Oscar! I was giving him a bath... there was all this pink ooze everywhere and it was reaching for him. (to Oscar) I'm not gonna let it get you! I was so terrified!
Peter: Okay, you're all right, you're all right, okay? All right, you're all safe now, okay? Sit down, relax, okay? Sit down, I'll get you guys a shirt or something. (goes over to phone and dials) Ray? Yeah, Dana's just come over to my place. Well, actually, her tub tried to eat her.
(Ghostbusters HQ – Lab)
(Music plays to slime. Ray is on phone. He has wires connected to his head.)
Ray: What? Are you serious? Well, that's great! - I mean, that's terrible, but it's great for what we were... - Yeah, I will. Sure, we'll get right on it. (hangs up) Spengler! Major slime-related psychokinetic event.
Egon: What happened?
Ray: Something came out of Dana's bathtub, tried to grab her and the baby.
Egon: Are they all right?
Ray: Yeah, well, she got out of there and went over to Venkman's.
Egon: Most interesting, Ray. Remember that painting Venkman mentioned? Well, I ran the name 'Vigo the Carpathian' through the Occult Reference-Net. Look what came up.
(They read a computer screen)
Ray: Ooh... Nice ugly history. Think there's a connection between this Vigo character and the- (slime bubbles)- slime?
Egon: Is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9?
Ray: We'd better get over to Dana's apartment. I'd like to check out the bathtub.
Egon: It might be a good idea to go to the museum in the morning and get a look at that painting.
Peter: Ray's gonna go on over to your place and just take a look.
Dana: He is?
Peter: (taking out a sweatshirt) Okay, I have been holding onto this for a long time, Oscar, I got this from a girl who got this from Joe Willie Namath. Okay? We don't know how, we don't want to know. (makes a diaper out of it) So I would appreciate it if you would not hose this thing down, you know, give it your own personal rinse. Thank you. It would be an excellent time for you to start practicing a thing we big guys call "self control". Get outta here. Oh, look at him, look at him, oh, look at this guy. Oh, he's a coconut, this guy. You're gonna be staying at Uncle Pete's until this thing blows over. This is your place now.
(Peter walks in and he leaps onto the bed.)
Peter: Hi. Come on in. This is my place.
Dana: So how are we going to handle the sleeping arrangements?
Peter: Well, what's best for me is if I lie on my side like this, and you spoon up beside me, your arm draped over me. If we do it the other way- (rolls over) I get your hair caught in my throat and I choke in the night.
Dana: How about you on the sofa and me and the baby in the bed?
Peter: It's a way to go.
Dana: It's so late. I really ought to put him down.
Peter: May I?
Dana: Yeah, if you want to.
Peter: You're short, your belly button sticks out too far and you're a terrible burden on your poor mother!
(Manhattan Museum of Art)
(Peter is waiting as Ecto-1A drives up.)
Peter: You find anything at Dana's?
Ray: Nah, nothing but some mood slime residue around the bathtub. But I did get something on that Vigo character you mentioned. Found it in Leon Zundiger's "Magicians, Martyrs and Madmen". Dig that.
Egon: Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505, died 1610.
Peter: A hundred and five years old. He hung in there, didn't he?
Ray: And he didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disemboweled, drawn and quartered.
Winston: I guess he wasn't too popular at the end.
Egon: No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised and Vigo the Unholy.
Peter: Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch?
Ray: And dig this! There was a prophecy, just before his head died. His last words were: "Death is but a door, time is but a window. I'll be back!"
(The Ghostbusters enter.)
Peter: All right, suck in your guts, guys. We're the Ghostbusters.
(They all suck in their guts as Janosz rushes over to them.)
Janosz: (angrily) Go! Go, please, go, you, Dr. Venkman!
Ray: Who's this wiggler?
Peter: He's yours, Ray. Sick him!
Ray: (to Janosz) Hi, Ray Stantz from the Ghostbusters. How are you? We're just doing a routine spook check.
Peter: (giving Janosz his coat) Here, Johnny, hold this.
Janosz: Dr. Venkman! Dana is not here!
Peter: Yeah, we know that, Johnny.
Janosz: So why are you came?
Peter: We got a report there was a major creep in the area, we checked our list and you were right on the top. Johnny, where in the hell are you from, anyway?
Janosz: The Upper West Side...
Egon: The whole room's extremely hot, Peter.
Winston: (sees the painting of Vigo) Whoa. That's one ugly dude.
Peter: (taking pictures) Oh, that's Vigo! Mr. Vigo! Vigs! Could you look this way, please!
Janosz: No! No, please no. No! No, Dr. Venkman! (stands in front of the painting) No photographs, please! Slides are available in the gift shop. (Winston lifts him out of the way.) Aggh!
Peter: Yeah, thanks. Thank you, Winston. (to Vigo while taking pictures) All right, you know what, give me angry, will you, will you give me angry. You've had a bad day, you're cranky. Good. Ooh, angrier. Angrier. I'm scared, you're scaring me, stop it. Good... good. Okay, walk for me, talk for me. Yeah. Okay, give me hot and sexy. Can you do it? You can. Oh, boy. Show me some teeth. Come on. Do the girls like you? Huh? The girls? Do the guys? I bet they both do. How about the animals? They like you? (Ray is looking at Vigo's eyes. The eyes turn red, then blue again. Ray stares in disbelief. His arm grows limp.) All right. More. That's right, you're big. You're big. Yeah. Yeah. All right, destroy me! Destroy me! Yeah! Destroy me! Destroy me! Yeah! Yeah!
Egon: Venkman? We need to talk.
Peter: (to Vigo) I've worked with better, but not many. Thank you. (to Janosz while taking his coat) Thanks, Johnny.
Winston: (to Ray) Hey, hey? You finished?
Ray: Yeah, I'm finished here.
Winston: Are you all right?
Winston: I mean, you're not coming down with something?
(Peter comes in carrying a suitcase.)
Peter: Dana! Your prince! (looks around) Oh, no... oh, no, oh, no! She cleaned!
Dana: (coming out of the shower) Hi.
Dana: Ssh... he's asleep. Come here. So what happened with my apartment?
Peter: Well, the guys spent the whole night there. They went through all your things, your personal stuff, they tried on some of your clothes, made a few long-distance phone calls, cleaned out the fridge...
Dana: Did they find anything?
Peter: They found a little bit of that pink slime.
Dana: Oh God. Well, what am I supposed to do now?
Peter: You are supposed to get dressed and get crazy with me on the streets of Manhattan tonight.
Dana: Peter, I don't think-
Peter: This is exactly what you need! I have got you a baby-sitter. The whole thing's wired.
Dana: Peter, I don't think we should go out on a date. You know, I can't leave Oscar in a strange place with a strange person.
Peter: Strange person? Janine Melnitz, from my staff!
Dana: Janine has experience baby-sitting?
Peter: (gives her flowers) Here.
Dana: Thank you.
Peter: (holding up the suitcase) I've also brought some things from your apartment. Some wardrobe choices, a couple of provocative ensembles in here- I'll leave it up to you.
Dana: Okay, but after dinner, don't put any of those old cheap moves on me.
Peter: No, no, no, no.
Dana: It's different.
Peter: I have all new cheap moves.
Dana: (to Oscar) Hey, you! Hey, you! It looks like you're awake! You're awake, yes!
Peter: Yes, Oscar. You're gonna have the whole place to yourself tonight, pal! It's gonna be pretty neat! I got some Laurie Antinelli tapes if you wanna watch them. Dana, did you see some shirts here in the floor-bed area?
Dana: Yeah, I put them in the hamper.
Peter: I have a hamper?
Dana: Yeah, it's in the bathroom.
Peter: Neat! (takes out some clothes) Will you tell me next time you're going to do that, though, please?
Dana: Well, I thought they were dirty.
Peter: I have more than two grades of laundry, okay? There's not just clean and dirty. There are many subtle levels. Okay? See? You hang this outside the window for twenty minutes... it's perfectly fine. (leaves)
Dana: Interesting role model for you, Oscar, huh?
(Ghostbusters HQ – Janine’s Desk)
Janine: (into phone) Well, they couldn't get to you until after the New Year. - Well, just don't go in there! (hangs up) Louis! I'm closing up!
(Ghostbusters HQ – Outside)
Louis: Should I take the subway, or the surface roads, or what? It's kind of busy out.
Janine: Well, I'm walking. Good night!
Louis: Well now, well, hang on now... Do you maybe wanna- no, no- do you wanna have something to eat with me?
Janine: I'd love that! But I promised Dr. Venkman I'd baby-sit for him. Want to baby-sit with me?
Louis: Okay, I would!
Janine: Great. His place at eight- bye! (leaves)
Louis: His place at eight, all right. Well, I can get his address from the W2...
(Cars honk at him and he waves them by.)
(Ghostbusters HQ – Photo Lab)
(Ray and Egon are examining the pictures that Peter took of Vigo’s painting.)
Egon: We were right, Ray. Multi-planar curliean emanations.
Ray: Yeah, well, here's your next month's cover of GQ. Check out the aura on this sucker! There's definitely a living presence there.
Egon: We should get a deeper look.
Ray: Why don't I run this wider shot through the spectronalizer?
Egon: Good, I'll try turning up the rengence.
(Ray slides the picture into the machine and he and Egon wait for it to come out the other side.)
Ray: So what do you think? Chinese?
Egon: How about Thai?
Ray: Nah, too spicy. Greek?
Egon: Thin or thick?
(Picture comes out the other end of the machine and Egon hangs it up on a wire. The picture is of Vigo’s head floating above the river of slime.)
Egon: What the hell is that?
Ray: I know what it is. I've seen it before.
Ray: When you guys had me dangling like a worm on a hook a hundred feet below First Avenue. That's the river of slime. (The door locks itself while they are examining the pictures. Suddenly the pictures catch on fire.) Huh? (He and Egon run for the door only to find that it’s locked.) We need a blanket or a hose or something! Why's this closed?
Egon: That way! That way!
Ray: What are we gonna do, stick our heads in the toilet?
(Winston breaks through the door and puts the fire out.)
(Peter’s Apartment Building – Outside)
(Ecto-1A drives up. Ray, Egon, and Winston all get out. They wear sewer work suits.)
Ray: Pete, it's great that you're here! We've got incredible news!
Peter: Wait. Can I have one try? All you can eat barbecue rib night at the Sizzler.
Egon: No, we analyzed the photos you took of Vigo. The spectrogram shows a river of slime flowing behind it.
Ray: The same one I saw underground. Now we're going to the subway and sewer system to see if we can trace the source of the flow.
Egon: Yeah, come on. Change your clothes. We'll wait for you.
Winston: Yeah. Egon thinks there might even be a tremendous breeding surge in the cockroach population.
Dana: (walking up) Hi, boys. What's up?
Peter: Dana, the guys are going down to the sewer to check for slime stuff. And Egon thinks there may be a huge surge in cockroach breeding. Want to blow off this dinner thing and go with them?
Dana: (with a smile) Taxi!
Peter: Women! Huh?
(Old Subway Lines)
(The guys are walking down an abandoned Subway line.)
Winston: Will you watch your step? I hate this.
Ray: According to this old transit map there should be an entrance anywhere along here somewhere.
Egon: (with Geiger meter) I'm not getting anything yet.
Winston: Well, at least it's too dark to see the cockroaches.
Ray: Forget about cockroaches. It's the subway rats you gotta worry about. Big as beavers.
Egon: Yeah, some of them can go four, five kilo.
Winston: Hey, hey, enough, all right?
Ray: Listen to them, you hear them behind the walls. Scratching. There must be thousands of them!
Winston: Just shut up about the rats.
Ray: Okay, okay. (shouting) Hello?
Ray’s Echo: "Hello?"
Egon: (shouting) Hey!
Egon’s Echo: "Hey!"
Winston: (shouting) Hello!
Evil Voice: Winston...
Winston: Okay, I'm outta here.
(He turns to leave but runs into a severed head. Every which way the guys turn they are surrounded by these rotting heads. The guys are just screaming their heads off. Just as suddenly the heads vanish.)
Winston: They're gone.
Egon: Before we go any farther I think we should get our proton packs.
Winston: Good idea. (hears a rumbling) What's that?
Ray: What's what?
Winston: Sounded like a train. (hears more rumbling)
Ray: Uh-uh. These lines have been abandoned for fifty years.
Winston: Oh. (still hears rumbling)
Egon: Probably in one of the tunnels above us.
Winston: I don't know. Sounds awfully close to me.
(Suddenly the rumbling gives way to a ghost train. Ray and Egon jump out of the way, but Winston isn’t fast enough and the train goes right through him and disappears.)
Egon: I think that was the old New York Central City Albany! Derailed in 1920! Killed hundreds of people! Did you catch the number on the locomotive?
Winston: (stands there looking shocked) Sorry. I missed it.
Egon: Something's trying to stop us. We must be close.
Winston: Where's Ray?
(They call for Ray, but there is no answer. Suddenly Ray pops up and the guys jump.)
Ray: Guys! I found it!
Ray: Right here, there's a hole.
Winston: Fellas, what about the packs? What about the packs?
Ray: What'd I tell you? I wasn't lying, was I?
Egon: Do you realize how much negative energy it must have taken to generate a flow this size?
Winston: Hey! New York, what a town.
Egon: Let's see how deep it is. Get a sounding.
Winston: (he lowers a measuring device that is attached to his belt into the slime river) Six feet. Twelve feet. Something's pulling it!
Ray: Hold on! Hold on to it! Help me!
(Ray and Egon grab for Winston, but he’s pulled into the river and he’s swept away. Ray and Egon both take a breath and then jump in the river to save him.)
(Dana and Peter are at a very nice up-town restaurant.)
Dana: A toast to the most charming, kindest-
Peter: Oh, that's me!
Dana: That's you. - and most unusual guy I have ever broken up with.
Peter: Speaking of breaking up with neat guys, why did you dump me?
Dana: I didn't dump you. I was protecting myself. I mean, you weren't very good for me. You know that, don't you?
Peter: Heck, I'm not even good for me.
Dana: You're much better than you realize. You don't give yourself enough credit.
Peter: I need to hear that stuff. If I had this kind of support on a twenty-four-hours-a-day basis, I could have myself whipped into shape by the end of this century.
Dana: Why don't you give me a jingle in the year 2000?
Peter: Why don't I give you a jingle right now?
(Louis is carrying Oscar and telling him a bedtime story.)
Louis: So the seven little dwarves had a limited partnership in a small mining operation, and one day a beautiful princess came to live with them, and they bartered housekeeping services for room and board. Which was a real good deal for them because they didn't have to withhold Social Security or income tax or nothing, which you're really not supposed to do, you see, but for the purposes of this story I think it's okay.
(He walks out of sight into Peter’s bedroom to put Oscar down for the night.)
Janine: It really is a great place. I mean, it needs a woman's touch. But I think it looks really good, you know-
Louis: (coming out of Peter’s room and closing the door) Ssh. Bedtime.
Janine: You're very good with children.
Louis: Thanks, I practiced on my hamster.
Janine: Oh. So, you live alone?
Louis: I used to have a roommate, but my mom moved to Florida.
Janine: Oh. Why don't you come over here and sit with me?
Louis: (sits next to her) Okay. So, you wanna play Boggle or Super Mario Bros.?
Janine: You know, I think motherhood's a very natural instinct. I'd like a child myself. (crosses her legs over his) Would you?
Louis: (nervous) Tonight?
(Manhattan Museum of Art)
(A manhole opens in the street and Egon, Ray and Winston climb out covered in slime.)
Winston: Nice going, Ray. What are you trying to do, drown me?
Ray: Oh, you say it more like it was my fault! But you were too stupid to drop that sounding line!
Winston: Stupid? Hey, you better watch your mouth or I'll punch your lights out!
Ray: Oh yeah?
Ray: Well, any time!
Winston: Come on, come on!
Ray: It's go time, man!
Winston: I want you, bad!
Egon: (looking at the slime covering all of them) Wait! Wait! Stop, stop! Get your clothes off!
(They all strip down to their long underwear.)
Winston: Oh, Jesus, Ray. What were we doing? I was ready to kill you.
Ray: It's the stuff. It's like pure concentrated evil.
Egon: And it's all flowing right to this spot!
(They all look up at the museum.)
(Ray, Egon, and Winston walk in, still dripping with the slime.)
Maitre ‘D: You cannot come in here. Sirs? You cannot come in here!
Ray: We'll only be a minute. (spots Peter and Dana) Venkman!
(The guys walk over to Peter’s table.)
Maitre ‘D: Gentlemen, will you leave this restaurant?!
Peter: Boys, boys! You're scaring the straights. Is there any way we can do this tomorrow?
Egon: No, no, this won't wait until tomorrow, Venkman. It's hot and it's ready to pop.
Ray: It's all over the city, Pete! Under it, actually.
Winston: Rivers of this stuff.
Egon: And it's all flowing right to the museum.
Ray: Yeah, the museum!
(He motions in the direction of the museum and splatters slime on a lady at a nearby table.)
Woman: Ugh! It got all over me. What is this stuff?
Dana: God, you mean my museum?
Peter: I was going to tell you between the dessert and the cheese course.
Maitre ‘D: (to policemen) There they are!
Peter: You can never go back there again... You have to find a new job...
Ray: (being led away) We gotta see the mayor!
(Police car drives up.)
Doorman: Whoa! Ghostbusters! Guys, come right this way. Say, you guys got an extra one of those proton packs? My kid brother really wants one.
Egon: The proton pack is not a toy.
Ray: I guess he's right.
(Dana walks in and Louis jumps off the couch.)
Louis: Oh! Oh, Dana, we were just baby-sitting, honest, and we watched some TV and we had something to eat and one thing led to another, and-
Dana: That's okay, Louis.
Louis: I didn't know anything was gonna happen, really-
Janine: (adjusting her dress) Hi, Dana. How was your date?
Dana: Well, it wasn't a date. It was just dinner.
Louis: Where's Peter?
Dana: Oh, he was arrested.
Dana: Did he call?
Louis: No, nobody called.
Dana: How's Oscar? Is he all right?
Janine: Oh, he's fine. Such a good baby! He was a little fussy at first, but we just gave him some French bread pizza. Passed right out.
Dana: (a little shocked at this) Good, good. Well, I'll just give him a look-see.
Louis: So you think we should go?
Janine: Gee, I don't know. I don't think we should leave her alone.
Louis: You're right. Let's stay. (jumps on the couch)
(The Mayor enters the room and the Ghostbusters greet him.)
Guys: Lenny... big man!
Winston: Mr. Mayor? (offers his hand- it is refused)
Mayor: What is this, a slumber party? (Hardemeyer laughs, and the Ghostbusters begin to talk all at once.) Look, I don't wanna hear anything about it. You've got two minutes. Make it good.
Ray: Well, first of all, Mr. Mayor, it's a great pleasure to see you again, and we'd just like to say that almost 50% of us voted for you in the last election.
Mayor: I appreciate that.
Peter: I'm just sorry we always have to meet under these circumstances.
Ray: Mr. Mayor, we are here tonight because a psychomagnotheric slime flow of immense proportions is building beneath the city.
Peter: Big word. Big word.
Egon: Negative human emotions are materializing in the form of a viscous, psychoreactive plasm with explosive supernormal potential.
Mayor: Does anybody speak English here?
Winston: Yeah. Your Honor, see, what we're trying to tell you is like, all the bad feelings, all the hate, the anger and vibes of this city is turning into the sludge! Now, I didn't believe it at first either, but we just went for a swim in it and we ended up almost killing each other!
Hardemeyer: This is insane! I mean, do we really have to listen to this?
Peter: Can't you stop your lips from flapping for two little minutes?! Lenny, have you been out on the street lately? Do you know how weird it is out there? We've taken our own head count. There seem to be three million completely miserable assholes living in the tri-state area!
Hardemeyer: Oh, please.
Peter: I beg your pardon. Three million and one.
Ray: And what budgie-brain here doesn't realize is that if we don't do something fast, this whole place is gonna blow like a frog on a hot plate.
Hardemeyer: Yeah, right.
Mayor: What am I supposed to do? Go on television and tell ten million people they have to be nice to each other? Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right. Your two minutes are up! Good night, gentlemen. (leaves)
Peter: Oh... the Times is gonna be interested in this... And you know the polls are gonna be down!
Winston: "Mayor Hides Slime"...
Ray: "Times Square Slime"?
Egon: Slime Square?
Ray: Yeah, Slime Square.
Hardemeyer: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Fine, fine, fine. Now, before you go running off to the newspapers with this, would you consider telling this slime business to some of our people downtown?
Peter: It's gotta be done right away.
(The Ghostbusters are being committed. They are all wearing straight jackets.)
Ray: Vigo's gonna come back! The whole city's in danger! The whole state, the whole world! All we wanna do is help!
Hardemeyer: (to Doctor) The mayor wants them kept under strict observation for the next few days. We think they're seriously disturbed and potentially dangerous.
Doctor: Well, we'll do whatever's necessary.
Hardemeyer: Thank you, doctor.
(Manhattan Museum of Art)
(The room has become a shrine to Vigo. There are candles everywhere.)
Janosz: I await the word, Vigo!
Vigo: I, Vigo, the Scourge of Carpathia…
Janosz: I know. You've told me this. The Scourge.
Vigo: …the sorrow of Moldavia…
Janosz: Sorrows. I've heard all of this, yes.
Vigo: …command you.
Janosz: Command me, lord.
Vigo: The season of evil begins with the birth of the new year.
Vigo: Bring me the child that I might live again!
Janosz: Yes... Lord Vigo? I was wondering- this woman Dana is fine and strong. Now, if I was to bring the baby, could I have that woman?
Vigo: (thinks about it) So be it. On this day of darkness she will be ours. Wife to you and mother to me.
Janosz: (jumps up and spins around) Yes! Thank you, lord! Thank you!
(Janine, Louis, and Dana are all watching TV. Dana looks like she wishes Janine and Louis would leave.)
Janine: Is, like, she the killer or what?
Louis: No. That's Rita Hayworth. She was married to Citizen Kane while they were doing this thing. Then right after they finished, she dumped him for some polo player. I don't why beautiful girls love horses so much. Do you love horses?
Dana: You know, you really don't have to stay. I'm sure Peter will be back soon.
Louis: Oh, we don't mind. Can you see okay?
Dana: Yep. (looks at her watch and sighs)
(Oscar is on the bed in between some pillows so he can’t fall. Suddenly the bedroom window opens.)
(Dana feels the wind from the open window and goes to check on Oscar, only to find that he’s no longer in the bed.)
Dana: Oscar? Oh! (She sees him on the ledge.) Oh God! Oscar! Louis! It's Oscar! Oscar...
(Louis runs in and sees Oscar on the ledge.)
Louis: (to Janine) Call 911 right now!
(Dana crawls out on the ledge to try and get Oscar, but before she can reach him, Janosz flies out of the sky and places Oscar in a baby carriage. Janosz then flies away.)
Dana: Oscar... oh, no... no, no, no... No!
Louis: That was a ghost!
Dana: (crawling back inside) No, no, that was Janosz. He took him...
Janine: What's happening?
Louis: What should we do?
Janine: Where's the baby?
Dana: The museum...(puts her coat on)
Louis: Where are you going?
Dana: I've got to get my baby! (leaves)
Louis: We gotta find the guys.
(The guys are all calmly seated around a table discussing Vigo with the Doctor.)
Ray: As I explained before, we think the spirit of a 16th century Moldavian tyrant is alive and well in a painting at the Manhattan Museum of Art.
Doctor: Mm-hmm. And are there any other paintings in the museum with bad spirits in them?
Egon: You're wasting valuable time! He's drawing strength from a psychomagnotheric slime flow that's been collecting under the city.
Doctor: Yes, tell me about the slime.
Winston: It's very potent stuff. We made a toaster dance with it.
Doctor: A toaster.
Ray: And a bathtub tried to eat his friend's baby.
Doctor: (looks at Peter) A bathtub?
Peter: Don't look at me, I think these people are completely nuts.
(The slime begins to flow.)
(Manhattan Museum of Art)
(Dana gets out of her taxi and runs into the building. As soon as the doors shut behind her slime creeps up and covers the building, creating a shell.)
(Dana walks in and sees Oscar on an altar in front of Vigo’s painting. She runs over to him and picks him up.)
Dana: Oscar... sweetheart... oh, oh... I thought I'd lost you... never see you again... oh, baby.
Janosz: Hello, Dana. I thought that you might come.
Dana: You stay away from us, Janosz. I mean it.
Janosz: Oh, don't worry, he will not be harmed! He has been chosen to be the vessel of the spirit of Vigo! And you will be the mother of the ruler of the world!... Doesn't that sound nice?
Dana: No. It sounds ludicrous. You stay away from him. I mean it.
Janosz: Well, I don't think we have choice here. Take a look- it's not Gainsborough's 'Blue Boy', there. Heh, heh. He is Vigo!
Dana: I don't care who he is! You're not going to take my baby! (Suddenly she is thrown back into a cage and Oscar floats back to the altar.) Oscar... Oh, you bastard!
(The river of slime continues to flow.)
(A ghost appears and chases the people away.)
(A woman walks down the street wearing a fur coat. She accidentally steps into the slime. Suddenly her coat comes alive and begins to attack her. She manages to throw it off and it runs down the street.)
(A huge demon terrorizes the city.)
Policeman1: Was this a big dinosaur or a little dinosaur? - Ah, a skeleton.- Which way was it headed?
Policeman2: Wait a second. What was chasing you in the park? - The park bench was chasing you? - I see.
Policeman3: What? Wait a second. Lieutenant! I think you'd better talk to this guy.
Lieutenant: I'm busy here!
Policeman3: It's some dock supervisor down at Pier 34.
Lieutenant: What's the problem?!
Policeman3: He says the Titanic just arrived!
(The Titanic has indeed arrived. There is a huge gaping hole in the side of the ship, and the ghost passengers are disembarking.)
Dock Supervisor: Well, better late than never.
Fire Chief: The Battery is swamped! We've had more than three thousand calls since midnight last night!
Police Commissioner: We've had to remain in uniform on the streets, and I am still short-handed. We've had meter maids chasing ghosts all over midtown!
Official: (hands Hardemeyer a diagram) There's this shell thing over the Manhattan Museum of Art. We can't make a dent!
Hardemeyer: Have you tried dynamite?
Official: We've tried everything.
Mayor: (entering) What the hell is going on? It's pandemonium out there!
Hardemeyer: Yes, I know, we're working on it!
Mayor: Great. While you're working on it I'm going down in history as the mayor who let New York get sucked down into the tenth level of hell. All right, we've got no choice. Call the Ghostbusters.
Hardemeyer: Wait! Now, I'm sure there's another way.
Mayor: Jack, I spent an hour last night in my bedroom talking to Fiorello LaGuardia and he's been dead for forty years. Now where are the Ghostbusters?
Hardemeyer: Uh... they're not available.
Mayor: What do you mean, they're not available?
Hardemeyer: Well, I had them committed to the psychiatric ward at Parkview Hospital.
Mayor: You what?!
Hardemeyer: They were threatening to go to the press! I was protecting your interests!
Mayor: Oh yeah?!
Mayor: Well, you can stop protecting my interests. You have exactly three minutes to clear out. You're fired!
Hardemeyer: But-the election! You're making a big mistake, Mr. Mayor!
Mayor: Harry! Remove this man from the building. And get me the Ghostbusters!
(Hardemeyer is escorted from the room.)
Aide: Mr. Mayor? Mr. Mayor? Come take a look at this. Wow. (Outside the window the sky is turning black.) Have you ever seen anything like that before?
Mayor: Somebody get me the Ghostbusters.
(The guys are being released. Louis is there bringing them up to date on everything that’s happened.)
Louis: And he took the baby into the carriage, and it levitated away!
Peter: What'd Dana do? Where'd she go?
Louis: I don't know. She said she was going to the museum to get the baby back! And there was an eclipse, and the whole town went dark, and everybody's nuts!
Ray: It all fits! Vigo wants in on the 21st century. He needs a human body to inhabit. Little Oscar must be it!
Winston: Yeah, and I bet we're the only ones who can do anything about it, right?
Ray: You bet we are!
(Manhattan Museum of Art)
(Ecto-1 drives up. The museum is covered in a shell of slime. The guys get out of the car and look at the museum.)
Ray: Looks like a giant Jell-O mold.
Winston: I hate Jell-O.
Peter: Aw, come on! There's always room for Jell-O!
Janosz: Soon it will be midnight and the city will be mine and Vigo's. Well... mainly Vigo's. Oh, Dana, you and I have this terrific opportunity! To make the best of this relationship!
Dana: We don't have a relationship.
Janosz: I know! Marry me, Dana. Together we will raise Vigo as our son! And let me tell you something here, there are many perks in being the mother of a living god. Sure we could get you a magnificent apartment, car, free parking... (opens her cage) Many marriages begin with a certain amount of distance. And I think that perhaps you and I could maybe learn to... love each other?
Dana: (walking out of her cage) Yes, I could learn.
Ray: Pull 'em.
Egon: Full nutronas.
(They charge their packs.)
Ray: Let's cook! (They fire on the shell over the museum but they have no effect.) Save 'em!
(They stop firing and try to save the energy in the packs.)
Crowd: (boos and hisses) C'mon! Aw, c'mon Ghostbusters!
Egon: That slime mold is pulsing with evil. It would take a tremendous amount of positive energy to crack that shell and I seriously doubt there's enough goodwill left in this town to do it.
Ray: You know, I just can't believe things have gotten so bad in this city that there's no way back. I mean, sure, it's dirty, it's crowded, it's polluted, it's noisy and there's people all around who'd just as soon step on your face as look at you. But come on! There's got to be a few sparks of sweet humanity left in this burned-out burg and we just have to figure out a way to mobilize it.
Egon: He's right. We need something that everyone in this town can get behind, we need... (looks down at something on Ecto-1) …a symbol!
Ray: (also looking at the car) Something that appeals to the best in each and every one of us.
Egon: Something good.
Winston: (looks at the car) Something decent.
Peter: (looks at the car) Something pure.
(Shot of what they are all looking at, and it’s the Statue of Liberty on the license plate of the car.)
(Statue of Liberty)
(The guys are now all looking up at the Statue of Liberty.)
Peter: Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?
Ray: Wonder what?
Peter: Whether she's naked under that toga. She's French. You know that.
Egon: Got it. Ready with the speakers, Ray. Slime blowers ready.
Ray: Internal audio, set. Internal electric, set.
Winston: Slime blower, prime, set.
Peter: (to slime in slime blowers) Ooh. Good slime, good slime. Winston, is our slime in a good mood tonight?
Winston: I hope so. She's a lot bigger than a toaster.
Egon: It's all yours, Venkman.
Peter: Thank you. (into microphone as he and Egon go up the stairs) Testing, one, two, testing. Hey, how many of you people out here are a national monument, raise your hand, please. Oh, hello, miss!
Winston: (to Ray) Hey. Let's frost it.
Ray: It's slime time. (they blast slime all over the statue) Beautiful!
Ray: Pilot controls ready.
Egon: All right. It's getting late. It's almost midnight. Let's go, Venkman.
Peter: Here's something off the request line from Liberty Island. We're gonna squeeze some New Year's juice from ya, Big Apple!
(Music: (Your Love Has Lifted Me) Higher and Higher. The slime begins to get really happy, it sparks all over the place. The statues torch explodes and Lady Liberty takes her first step.)
(The guys are still in Lady Liberty’s crown as she makes her way across the harbor towards New York City.)
Ray: Man, I can't wait to see people's faces when we come on shore! This should really get the city's positive energy flowing, huh, Venkie!
Peter: Keep kicking, Libby! You make this work, we'll pop for a weekend in Vegas with the Jolly Green Giant!
(Janine helps Louis suit up into a Ghostbusters uniform.)
Janine: You look fantastic in this.
Louis: I was born to wear this stuff.
Louis: Boy, this equipment's heavy.
(Lady Liberty walks down the street towards the museum as the people of New York cheer her on.)
Peter: Yeah, New York!
Ray: Sing it out!
Peter: Your love... has lifted me higher!
Winston: Come on, you sing!
Egon: We're running out of time, Ray.
Winston: Can't you make her go any faster?
Ray: I'm afraid the vibrations would shake her to pieces. We should have padded her feet.
Egon: I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray.
Peter: Ah, don't worry, she's tough. She's a harbor chick!
(Lady Liberty crushes a police car by accident.)
Ray: (yelling) Sorry! My fault!
(Louis runs down the street.)
Louis: Happy New Year. Gotta stay fit, keep sharp, make good decisions. (sees a bus) Oh, good, oh, good, oh, good. (The bus pulls up and Slimer is the driver) Oh... it's you! (Slimer beckons for him to get on the bus.) Okay... but I didn't know you had your license.
(Manhattan Museum of Art – Restoration Room)
Janosz: Four minutes to go, and then... party times. (Vigo starts to possess Oscar.) It's happening! It's really happening! (He looks up and sees Lady Liberty looking in from the glass of the ceiling.) No! Go away! Go away from here!
(Statue of Liberty)
Peter: I love it when you rumble!
Ray & Winston: Go! Go!
Egon: Hit it mama!!
(Manhattan Museum of Art – Restoration Room)
(Lady Liberty smashes the skylight with her torch. Janosz runs for cover as Dana grabs Oscar. Vigo vanishes.)
Dana: Oh, Oscar, look!
(The Ghostbusters slide down ropes into the room.)
Janosz: No! Go away! Do you know who this is?
Peter: Happy New Year.
Janosz: He is Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him! (He motions to the painting, but Vigo is gone, disappeared.)
Peter: Oh, Johnny, did you back the wrong horse. Will you hose him, please?
Ray: Hose him!
(Ray and Winston shoot the positive slime all over Janosz and he falls to the floor.)
Winston: One down.
Ray: On the ground.
Dana: Boy, am I…(kisses Peter) …glad to see you.
Peter: (hugging Oscar) Oh, Oscar, Oscar!
Dana: (looking at Janosz) Is he dead?
Ray: Uh-uh. This slime is positively charged. He'll wake up feeling like a million bucks.
Peter: Whoa! This gentleman is a little bit ripe! That's all right, my friend, I think I had an accident, too.
(Suddenly the wind picks up and a huge black hose wraps around Dana, trapping her.)
Dana: (to Peter) Get him away!
Ray: Get a knife or something! We gotta cut her out of this.
Peter: (going behind some crates with Oscar) Okay. All right, now listen. You gotta stay right here. Don't move. Uncle Pete's gotta go help your mom for a second. You just stay there and don't say anything.
(Vigo appears in the center of the room.)
Ray: Hold it right there, deadhead! You want a baby, go ahead and knock up some willing hellhound. Otherwise I'm giving you to the count of three to get back in that painting where you belong. One...
Ray: Three! (Peter and Egon fire and hit Vigo.) You got him! You got him!
(Vigo then deflects the proton beams back onto the Ghostbusters. They fall to the ground in pain.)
Winston: That was really stupid.
Egon: Ray? Can you move?
Ray: No. Are you okay?
Egon: No. Venkman? How are you?
Peter: (clearly lying) I'm fine.
(Vigo walks over to the crates where Oscar is hiding and separates them so that Oscar is visible. He picks up Oscar.)
Dana: No... no! Oscar- please, do something!
Peter: Not so fast, Vigo! Hey, Vigo! Yeah, you! The bimbo with the baby. Anyone ever tell you the big shoulder look is out? You know, I have met some dumb blondes in my life, but you take the taco, pal. Only a Carpathian would come back to life now and choose New York. Tasty pick, bonehead! If you had brain one in that huge melon on top of your neck, you would be living the sweet life out in southern California's beautiful San Fernando Valley! (Vigo shoots some type of painful beam onto the Ghostbusters.) Oh darn. Oh, darn it!
Vigo: (to Oscar) Now we become one!
(Suddenly from outside we can hear the crowd singing Auld Lang Syne.)
Ray: Where's that singing coming from?
Winston: The people outside.
(Vigo is obviously in pain and he jerks this way and that.)
(Louis runs up and looks at the shell covering the museum.)
Louis: Sorry folks! Excuse me! Ghostbusters! Wow! (gets his proton pack ready) I'm here with you guys.
Egon: He's weakening! The singing is neutralizing the slime!
Ray: I can move!
(Vigo is blown back into the painting and he drops Oscar, but Peter catches him.)
Egon: He's back in the painting!
Peter: (to Dana) All right, go find a shady spot. (she runs off and he turns his attention to Vigo) Viggy, Viggy, Viggy. You have been a bad monkey!
(Ray walks up to the painting and looks into Vigo’s eyes.)
Egon: Uh, Ray? We'd like to shoot the monster. Could you move, please?
(Vigo has taken over Ray’s body.)
Vigo: Now I Ray, as Vigo, shall rule the earth! Be gone, you pitiful half-men!
(Egon and Peter fire the proton packs, and Winston shoots the slime all over Ray.)
(Louis open fire on the slime shell.)
(Ray falls away as Vigo is thrust back into the painting.)
(There is an explosion and the guys are thrown down.)
(The slime breaks away from the building and the crowd goes crazy.)
Man: That was great! I loved it!
Louis: I did it! I did it! I'm a Ghostbuster!
(Egon and Winston go over to check out Ray.)
Egon: (taking off Ray's slime blower) Let's get this off.
Winston: How do you feel?
Peter: (to Dana) You all right?
Dana: Yes. Thank you, Peter.
Peter: (to Oscar) Spread out, shorty. (he kisses Dana)
Ray: (dripping with slime) I love you guys. I love all you guys.
Egon: Great, Ray.
Ray: And I love Venkman... wow. Real friendship.
Winston: We gonna have to live with this?
Janosz: (still mildly unconscious, singing) They will come from behind... (he wakes up and Ray helps him stand) Ah, ah... why am I drippings with goo?
Egon: You had a violent prolonged transformative psychic episode.
Ray: Sorry we had to hose you down there, but you were kind of out of control. Hey, man. Let me tell you something. I love you.
Janosz: Yes? Well, I love you too. (they hug)
Winston: (looking at Vigo’s painting) Hey fellas! You wanna take a look at this?
Egon: Early Renaissance, I think. Raphael, or Pierro de la Francesca.
Peter: No, I believe it's one of the Fettucinis...
(The painting is now of Peter, Ray, Egon, Winston, and Oscar.)
(The crowd is still going crazy. The Ghostbusters walk down the steps with Dana, Oscar, Janosz, and Louis.)
(There are several shots here of the whole gang doing different things.)
(Lady Liberty is now back on her island. The Ghostbusters accept the key to the city from Mayor.)