Transcribed by: Sonja
(New York Public Library)
(Alice, the Librarian pushes a cart of books down the hall towards the basement.)
(NYPL - Basement)
(Alice walks along carrying some books. As she walks past some shelves the books float around to other shelves. She turns around, but everything has stopped. She walks along some more. As she passes the card catalog the drawers open up and the cards jump out and start going all over the place. Alice turns and sees what's happening, she screams and runs. She keeps running through the stacks. She stumbles onto something, though we can't see it, and she screams at the tope of her lungs.)
(Paranormal Studies Laboratory)
(Inside Dr. Peter Venkman is giving an ESP test. The door says: "Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Peter Venkman. Venkman burn in hell! Maid please make up this room as soon as possible.")
(Inside the lab Peter is seated on one side of the table and two students are seated on the other side. One male and one female, Jennifer, they are hooked up to electrodes.)
Peter: All right, I'm going to turn over the next card. I want you to concentrate. I want you to tell me what it is. (The card is a Star.)
Male Student: Square?
Peter: Good guess, but wrong. (Holds up the card showing that it was a star. He then flips a switch which sends a small about of electricity to the student, shocking him. He then holds up another card up in front of Jennifer. There is a circle on the card.) Clear your head. All right, tell me what you think it is.
Jennifer: Is it a star?
Peter: (sets the card down without showing what it was.) It is a star! Very good. That's great. (He holds up a card with a square on it for the Male Student.) All right. Think hard. What is it?
Male Student: Circle?
Peter: Ooh, close, but definitely wrong. (He turns the card over and shows that it's a square. He then flips the switch again giving the student an electric shock and making him drop his gum. The Student picks the gum up and keeps chewing it. Peter then holds up a card for Jennifer. It has a plus sign on it.) Okay. All right. Ready? What is it?
(Jennifer thinks about it.) Come on.
Jennifer: Figure eight.
Peter: (pretending to be astonished) Incredible. That's five for five. You can't see these, can you?
Jennifer: No, no.
Peter: You're not cheating me, are you?
Jennifer: No, I swear, they're just coming to me.
Peter: (to the Male Student) Okay. Nervous?
Male Student: Yes... I don't like this.
Peter: Don't worry, you only have seventy-five more to go. (He holds up a card with wavy lines on it.) Okay, what's this one?
Male Student: A couple of wavy lines.
Peter: (puts the card down without showing what it was.) Sorry! This isn't your lucky day!
Male Student: I know. I -
(Peter slowly reaches for the lever. Jennifer watches and then smiles when Peter winks at her. The Male Student gets shocked, and now he's getting angry.)
Male Student: Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this!
Peter: You volunteered, didn't you? We're paying you, aren't we?
Male Student: Yeah, but I didn't know you were giving me electric shocks! What are you trying to prove here anyway?
Peter: I'm studying the effect of negative reinforcement on ESP ability.
Male Student: The effect?! I'll tell you what the effect is! It's pissing me off!
Peter: Well, then maybe my theory is correct!
Male Student: (he stands up and takes the electrodes off.) You can keep the five bucks, I've had it! (he leaves and slams the door behind him.)
Peter: I will mister! (to Jennifer) You may as well get used to that. That's the kind of resentment that your ability is going to provoke in some people. (He sits down in the chair vacated by the male student.)
Jennifer: Do you think I have it, Dr. Venkman?
Peter: You're no fluke, Jennifer.
(Ray enters the room all in a tizzy about something.)
Ray: (grabbing stuff off shelves) This is it! This is definitely it! Did those UV lenses come in for the video camera? And that blank tape? I need it. The one you erased yesterday.
Peter: (to Jennifer) Can you excuse me for a second?
(Peter gets up and walks over to where Ray is. He smacks Ray on the head.)
Peter: I'm right in the middle of something, Ray! Ah, I need a little more time with this subject. Could you come back in an hour, hour and a half?
Ray: Peter, at 1:40 PM at the main branch of the New York Public Library on Fifth Avenue, ten people witnessed a free floating, full torso, vaporous apparition. It blew books off shelves from twenty feet away and scared the socks off some poor librarian!
Peter: I'm very excited. I'm very pleased. I want you to get right down there, check it out and get back to me.
Ray: No, no.
Peter: Get right back to me...
Ray: You're coming with us on this one! Spengler went down there and took PKE valances. Went right off the top of the scale. Buried the needle! We're close on this one. I can feel it!
Peter: I can feel it. We're very, very close. (to Jennifer) I have to go now, Jennifer, but I'd like to work with you some more. Perhaps you could come back this evening, say at -
Jennifer: Eight o'clock?
Peter: I was just about to say eight o'clock! You are a legitimate phenomenon!
(New York Public Library)
Peter: As a friend I have to tell you: you've finally gone round the bend on this ghost business. You guys have been running your ass off meeting and greeting every schizo in the five boroughs who says he has a paranormal experience. What have you seen?
(They enter the Main Reading Room.)
Ray: Of course you forget, Peter, I was present at an undersea, unexplained, mass sponge migration.
Peter: Ooh, Ray, those sponges migrated about a foot and a half.
(Egon is sitting underneath a table listening to it with a stethoscope. Peter runs over quietly and raps on the table with his knuckles. Egon has a very puzzled look on his face. Suddenly Peter picks up a book and slams it down on the table. Egon jumps up, startled.)
Egon: Oh, you're here.
Peter: Yeah, what have you got?
Egon: This is big, Peter. This is very big. There is definitely something here.
Peter: Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. You remember that?
Egon: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.
(A middle aged man, the Head of the Library, Roger, walks up to them.)
Roger: I'm Roger Delicore. Are you the men from the university?
Peter: Yes. I'm Dr. Venkman. (points to Ray and Egon) Dr. Stantz, Egon.
Roger: Thank you for coming. I hope we can clear this up quickly and quietly.
Peter: Let's not rush things. We don't even know what you have yet.
(They walk over to where Alice is lying on top of a table.)
Alice: I don't remember seeing any legs, but it definitely had arms because it reached out for me.
Ray: Arms?! I can't wait to get a look at this thing!
Peter: Alice, I'm going to ask you a few standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family ever been diagnosed schizophrenic, mentally incompetent?
Alice: My uncle thought he was St. Jerome.
Peter: I'd call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using drugs, stimulants, alcohol?
Peter: No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?
Roger: What has that got to do with it?
Peter: Back off, man. I'm a scientist.
Egon: Ray, it's moving.
(The guys have made it down to the basement. Egon walks in front with his PKE meter. Ray is second, carrying a video camera, and Peter is in the rear. Peter looks really bored. He makes some scary gestures at Ray as they come upon a 10-foot tall tower of books.)
Egon: This is hot, Ray.
Ray: Symmetrical book stacking, just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
Peter: You're right. No human being would stack books like this.
Ray: Listen! You smell something? (they walk over to the card catalog and see that it's dripping with slime) Talk about telekinetic activity! Look at this mess!
Egon: Raymond, look at this.
Ray: Ectoplasmic residue.
Egon: Venkman, get a sample of this.
Ray: It's the real thing!
Peter: Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?
Egon: I'd like to analyze it.
(Ray and Egon continue walking forward. Peter scrapes some slime into a petrie dish. He manages to get it all over his hands. He flicks some of it away and wipes his hands on some of the book spines.)
Ray: There's more over here!
Egon: I'm getting stronger readings here, this way.
Ray: Come on.
(They turn a corner. Peter hands Egon the slime.)
Peter: Egon, your mucus. (A bookshelf falls over with a crash.) This happen to you before? (Ray shakes head 'no'.) Oh, first time? (Ray nods.)
(They continue forward. Egon's PKE meter starts going haywire. They look up and see the ghost. It's a lady, and she appears to be wearing a Victorian style dress. She floats in mid-air reading a book.)
Egon: It's here.
Ray: A full torso apparition, and it's real.
Peter: So what do we do? (Neither Ray nor Egon reply.) Could you come over here and talk to me for a second, please? (he grabs Ray by the ear and drags him behind another bookshelf, out of site. Egon follows.) Could you just come over here for a second, please? Right over here. Come here, Francine! Come here. What do we do?
Ray: I don't know. What do you think?
(Egon starts fiddling with his calculator, but Peter slaps it away.)
Peter: Stop that!
Ray: We've got to make contact. One of us should actually try to speak to it.
Egon: Good idea.
(They both look at Peter. He groans and goes to the ghost. Ray starts taking pictures.)
Peter: Hello. I'm Peter. Where are you from? Originally.
Peter: (walks back to the guys.) All right. Okay, the usual stuff isn't working.
Ray: Okay, I have a plan. I know exactly what to do. Now stay close, stay close. I know. Do exactly as I say. Ready, ready, get her!
(As they move to grab the ghost she morphs into a really scary monster ghost. The guys get freaked and the run out of the Library. As they hit the steps in front of the building they keep on running. Roger runs after them, shouting.)
Roger: Did you see it? What was it?
Peter: We'll get back to you!
(Peter, Ray, and Egon are on their way back to the lab. Peter is laughing at Ray.)
Peter: Hee, hee, hee! Get her. That was your whole plan. Get her. It was scientific.
Ray: I just got overexcited. But wasn't it incredible, Pete? I mean, we actually touched the etheric plane. You know what this could mean to the university?
Peter: Yeah, it's gonna be bigger than the microchip. Ray, I'm very excited.
Egon: (working with calculator) I wouldn't say the experience was totally wasted. According to these new readings, I think we have an excellent chance of actually catching a ghost and holding it indefinitely.
Ray: Well, this is great! If this ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we could really bust some heads! In a spiritual sense, of course.
Peter: Spengs? You serious about this catching a ghost?
Egon: I'm always serious.
Peter: Egon, I'm gonna take back some of the things I've said about you. You... you've earned it.
(He gives Egon a candy bar.)
(Moving men cart stuff out of the room. Dean Yeager stands watching.)
Ray: The possibilities are, are limitless! Hey, Dean Yeager!
Peter: I trust you're moving us to better quarters on campus.
Dean Yeager: No! You're being moved off campus. The board of regents has decided to terminate your grant. You are to vacate these premises immediately.
Peter: This is preposterous. I demand an explanation.
Dean Yeager: Fine. The university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's activities.
Peter: But the kids love us!
Dean Yeager: Dr. Venkman, we believe that the purpose of science is to serve mankind. You, however, seem to regard science as some kind of dodge or hustle. Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questionable. You, Dr. Venkman, are a poor scientist.
Peter: I see.
Dean Yeager: And you have no place in this department or in this university.
(Ray is pacing. Peter is drinking from a bottle.)
Ray: This is a major disgrace. Forget MIT or Stanford now. They wouldn't touch us with a ten-meter cattle-prod.
Peter: You're always so concerned about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk!
Ray: You know how much a patent clerk earns?
Ray: Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities. We didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out there. I've worked in the private sector. They expect results.
Peter: For whatever reasons, Ray, call it fate. Call it luck. Call it karma. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown out of this dump.
Ray: For what purpose?
Peter: To go into business for ourselves.
(He offers Ray the bottle and Ray takes a drink.)
Ray: This ecto-containment system that Spengler and I have in mind is going to require a load of bread to capitalize. Where are we going to get the money?
Peter: I don't know. (takes a drink.) I don't know.
(Manhattan City Bank)
(The guys come out of the Bank very happy.)
Peter: You're never going to regret this, Ray!
Ray: My parents left me that house! I was born there!
Peter: You're not going to lose the house. Everybody has three mortgages nowadays.
Ray: But at nineteen percent! You didn't even bargain with the guy!
Egon: Ray, for your information, the interest rate alone for the first five years comes to $95,000.
Peter: Will you guys relax? We are on the threshold of establishing the indispensable defense science of the next decade. Professional paranormal investigations and elimination's. The franchise rights alone will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams.
(Abandoned Fire Station.)
(The real estate agent is showing the guys around the station.)
Agent: There's office space, sleeping quarters and showers on the next floor and a full kitchen on the top left.
Peter: It just seems a little pricey for a unique fixer-upper opportunity, that's all. What do you think, Egon?
Egon: I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.
Ray: (from upstairs) Hey! Does this pole still work? (slides down the fire pole) Wow! This place is great! When can we move in? You've got to try this pole! I'm gonna get my stuff. (he turns and runs up the stairs) Hey, we should stay here tonight. Sleep here! You know, to try it out!
Peter: I think we'll take it.
(Central Park West - Dana's Apartment Building)
(Shot of one of the stone demon dogs on the roof. Dana gets out of a cab and walks into the building.)
(The 22nd Floor)
(Dana gets off the elevator and heads for her apartment. She walks quietly, but not quietly enough, and her neighbor Louis Tully comes out to see who's in the hallway.)
Dana: Oh, hi.
Louis: Oh, Dana, it's you!
Dana: Oh, hi, yes Louis, it's me.
Louis: I thought it was the drugstore.
Dana: Oh, are you sick?
Louis: Oh! No, no, I'm fine, I feel great! Just ordered some more vitamins and stuff. I was just exercising. I taped a 20-minute workout and played it back at high speed on my machine so it only took ten minutes. I got a great workout.
Louis: You wanna come in for a mineral water or something?
Dana: Oh, I'd really like to, Louis, but I have to go rehearsal now. Excuse me.
Louis: No sweat, I'll take a rain check on that. I always have plenty of low sodium mineral water and other nutritious foods in the house. But you already know that.
Dana: Yeah, I know that.
Louis: Listen, that reminds me, I'm having a big party for all my clients, my fourth anniversary as an accountant, you know, and even though you do your own tax return, which you shouldn't do, I'd like you to stop by, being that you're my neighbor and all…
Dana: (interrupting) Well, thank you, Louis, I'll really try to stop by.
Louis: Listen, that reminds me, you shouldn't leave your TV on so loud when you go out. The creep down the hall phoned the manager.
Dana: That's strange, I didn't realize I'd left it on. (she unlocks her door)
Louis: Well, yeah, you know what I did? I climbed on the ledge and tried to disconnect the cable, but I couldn't get in, so you know what I did? I turned my TV up real loud too so everyone would think all our TVs had something wrong with them…
Dana: (closing her door) Bye, Louis.
Louis: Okay, so I'll see you later, huh?! I'll give you a call! I'm going to go have a shower. (he goes to go back into his apartment, only to find that he's locked himself out)
(As Dana walks in she does see that the TV is on. A Ghostbusters commercial is on at this moment, so she watches Peter, Ray, and Egon stand outside Ghostbusters headquarters wearing long blue coats and talk to the camera.)
Ray: (on TV) Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?
Egon: (on TV) Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?
Peter: (on TV) Have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter or ghost?
Ray: (on TV) If the answer is yes, then don't wait another minute. Pick up your phone and call the professionals.
All: (on TV) Ghostbusters!
Ray: (on TV) Our courteous and efficient staff is on call twenty-four hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs.
All: (on TV) We're ready to believe you!
(The number "GHOSTBUSTERS 555-2368" flashes on the bottom of the screen. Dana turns the TV off and goes into the kitchen.)
(Dana sets her groceries down on the counter. She turns around to put some things away. As she does the egg carton pops open and the eggs begin to jump out of their shells and cook on the counter. Dana turns around at the noise and sees what's happening. Suddenly she hears a growling noise coming from the refrigerator. She goes over and opens the door. The contents of her freezer are gone and she seems to be looking at another dimension. She sees a demon dog growling. It turns to look at her.)
Demon Dog: (roaring) Zuul!
(Dana slams the fridge shut with a scream.)
(Peter is standing outside watching Marty hang up the "Ghostbusters" sign.)
Peter: You don't think it's too subtle, Marty? You don't think people are going to drive down and not see the sign? (Marty shakes his head and keeps working as a dark blue hearse drives up and parks.) You can't park that here!
Ray: (getting out of the car) Everybody can relax, I found the car! Needs some suspension work; and shocks, and brakes, brake pads, lining, steering box, transmission, rear end …
Peter: How much?
Ray: Only forty-eight hundred. (Peter groans) And maybe new rings, also mufflers, a little wiring...
(Janine Melnitz, the receptionist, sits at her desk reading a magazine. Peter walks up to her.)
Peter: Janine! Any calls?
Peter: Any messages?
Peter: Any customers?
Janine: No, Dr. Venkman.
Peter: It's a good job, isn't it? Type something, will you? We're paying you for this stuff! (begins walking to his office) Don't stare at me, you got them bug eyes... Janine! Sorry about the bug eyes thing. I'll be in my office.
(After a few seconds Egon pops up from under Janine's desk. He's been fixing something.)
Janine: You're very handy. I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.
Egon: Print is dead.
Janine: Oh, that's very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I'm too intellectual, but I think it's a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play racquetball. Do you have any hobbies?
Egon: I collect spores, molds and fungus.
(The front door opens and Dana walks in. She walks by Ray who's working on the car, and heads over to Janine.)
Dana: Hello? (to Janine) Oh. Excuse me. This, this is the Ghostbusters' office?
Janine: Yes, it is. Can I help you?
Dana: I don't have an appointment. I'd like to talk to someone, please.
(Peter jumps up out of his chair in his office and hurries over.)
Peter: I'm Peter Venkman. May I help you?
Dana: Well, I don't know. What I'm about to say may sound a little unusual.
Peter: Oh, that's all we get day in, day out around this place. Come into my office, Miss…?
Dana: Barrett. Dana Barrett.
(A few minutes later Dana is hooked up to a machine. As she talks the guys watch a monitor.)
Dana: And this voice said "Zuul". And then I slammed the refrigerator door and I left. That was two days ago, and I haven't been back to my apartment.
Peter: Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance. What do you think it was?
Dana: Well, if I knew what it was I wouldn't be here.
Peter: Egon, what do you think?
Egon: (shining a head lamp in Peter's eyes) She's telling the truth. At least, she thinks she is.
Dana: Well, of course I'm telling the truth! Who would make up a story like that?
Peter: Some are people who just want attention. Others, just nutballs who come in off the street.
Ray: You know what it could be? Past-life experience intruding on present time.
Egon: Could be erased memories stored in the collective unconscious. I wouldn't rule out clairvoyance or telepathic contact, either.
Dana: I'm sorry, I don't believe in any of those things.
Peter: Well, that's all right. I don't either. But there are some things we do. Standard procedures we carry out in a case like this which often bring us results.
Ray: Well, I could go down to the hall of records and check out the structural details in the building. Maybe the building itself has a history of psychic turbulence.
Peter: Right, go do that.
Egon: I could look for the name Zuul in the usual literature.
Ray: Spirits Catalog.
Egon: Tobin's Spirit Guide.
Peter: Tell you what. I'll take Miss Barrett back to her apartment and check her out (pause)… I'll go check out Miss Barrett's apartment, okay? (when Dana turns away he silently groans.)
Dana: Okay, thank you.
(The front door opens and Dana and Peter walk in.)
Peter: Let me. If something's gonna happen here I want it to happen to me first.
(He opens the closet door, and nothing happens. He's carrying a little scientific toy that he's messing with.)
Dana: The closet.
(Peter goes to the piano and plays the two highest notes over and over.)
Peter: They hate this. I like to torture them. That's right, boys. It's Dr. Venkman! A lot of space. Just you?
Dana: What is that thing you're doing?
Peter: It's technical. It's one of our little toys.
Dana: I see. That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.
Peter: What a crime.
Dana: You know, you don't act like a scientist.
Peter: They're usually pretty stiff.
Dana: You're more like a game show host.
Peter: That's the kitchen, huh?
(Peter walks in with Dana behind him. Peter spots the cooked eggs on the counter.)
Peter: Dana, are these the eggs?
Dana: Yes, see, I was over there, and the eggs just jumped right out of their shells and started to cook right on the counter.
Peter: That is weird.
Dana: And that's when I to hear that awful noise from the refrigerator. (Peter starts using his scientific toy again, and wanders around the kitchen.) Dr. Venkman, you've come all this way. Would you like to examine the refrigerator?
Peter: I'll check the fridge. Good call. (he opens the fridge just a crack and peeks inside) Oh, my God! (Dana looks worried, but then he throws the door open all the way.) Look at all the junk food!
Dana: No, God damn it! Look, this wasn't here.
Peter: (holds up a container of something) You actually eat this stuff?
Dana: Look! This wasn't here! There was nothing here! There was a space, and there was a building or something with flames coming out of it, and creatures riding around and they were growling and snarling! And there were flames! And I heard a voice say Zuul! It was right here!
Peter: I'm sorry, I'm just not getting any reading.
Dana: Well, are you sure you're using that thing correctly?
Peter: Well, I think so. But I'm sure there are no animals in there.
Dana: Well, that's great. Either there's a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy.
Peter: I don't think you're crazy.
Dana: (sarcastically) Good, that makes me feel so much better.
Peter: Let me tell you something about myself. I come home from work to my place and all I have is my work. There's nothing else in my life!
Dana: Dr. Venkman…
Peter: I meet you, and I say, my God, there's someone with the same problem I have!
Dana: Yes. We both have the same problem. You!
Peter: I'm gonna go for broke. I am madly in love with you.
Dana: I don't believe this. Will you please leave?
Peter: (to an invisible audience) And then she threw me out of her life. She thought I was a creep, she thought I was a geek and she probably wasn't the first...
Dana: You are so odd... (Peter goes to leave but then quickly turns back around) No.
Peter: I've got it!
Dana: No, no, no, no, no.
Peter: I'll prove myself to you!
Dana: (guiding him back to the door) That's not necessary.
Peter: Yeah. I'll solve your little problem.
Peter: And then you'll say, "Pete Venkman 's a guy who can get things done!"
Peter: "I wonder what makes him tick!"
Dana: I wonder!
Peter: "I wonder if he'd be interested in knowing what makes me tick?"
Peter: I bet you're going to be thinking about me after I'm gone.
Dana: I bet I am!
(She pushes him out the door. He sticks his head back in.)
Peter: No kiss?
(Dana shoves his face out the door and slams it shut.)
(Louis comes out of his apartment, sees Peter, and tries to go back into his own apartment. However he's locked himself out again.)
(Ghostbusters HQ - 'Dining Room')
(The guys are all sitting around a table eating Chinese food.)
Peter: To our first customer.
Ray: To our first and only customer.
(They toast with soda cans.)
Peter: I got to take out some petty cash. We should take her out to dinner. We don't want to lose her.
Ray: Uh, this magnificent feast here represents the last of the petty cash.
Peter: Slow down. Chew your food.
(Janine is getting ready to go home when the phone rings.)
Janine: Hello, Ghostbusters. Yes, of course they're serious. (pause while she listens) You do? You have? No kidding? Uh-huh. Well, just give me the address. Yes, of course. Oh, they'll be totally discreet. Thank you. (hangs up) We got one!
(She hits the alarm bell.)
Ray: It's a call!
(They all slide down the fire pole into the 'locker room' and change into their jumpsuits.)
Ray: Come on!
(Ghostbusters HQ - Outside)
(Ecto-1 peels out of the garage.)
(Sedgewick Hotel - Outside)
(Ecto-1 drives up.)
(Sedgewick Hotel - Lobby)
(The Ghostbusters enter.)
Peter: (loudly) Hey, anybody seen a ghost?
Hotel Manager: Thank you for coming so quickly! The guests are starting to ask questions and I'm running out of excuses.
Ray: Has it happened before?
Hotel Manager: Well, most of the original staff knows about the twelfth floor; the disturbances, I mean. But it's been quiet for years! Up until two weeks ago. It was never, ever this bad, though!
Egon: Did you ever report it to anyone?
Hotel Manager: Heavens! No!
Peter: Oh, no. You kidding?
Hotel Manager: The owners don't even like us to talk about it. I hope we can take care of this. Quietly! Tonight!
Ray: Yes sir, don't worry. We handle this kind of thing all the time!
(They head over to the elevator. There is a middle aged man waiting to get on.)
Man: What are you supposed to be? Some kind of a cosmonaut?
Peter: No, we're exterminators. Someone saw a cockroach up on twelve.
Man: That's gotta be some cockroach.
Peter: Bite your head off, man.
(The elevator arrives and the guys climb on.)
Ray: Going up?
Man: I'll take the next one.
Ray: You know, it just occurred to me, we haven't had a completely successful test of this equipment.
Egon: I blame myself.
Peter: So do I.
Ray: No sense worrying about it now.
Peter: Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.
Ray: Yep. Let's get ready. Switch me on!
(Egon turns on Ray's proton pack, then he and Peter back away and huddle in the corner of the elevator.)
(The guys get off the elevator. Egon turns on his proton pack.)
Ray: Come on.
(A maid walks by with her cart. Egon and Ray panic and blast the cart.)
Peter: Hold it!
Maid: What the hell are you doing?
Ray: I'm sorry.
Peter: We thought you were someone else. Successful test.
Ray: I guess so. I think we'd better split up.
Egon: Good idea.
Peter: Yeah, we can do more damage that way.
(They split up and go in three different directions. Egon walks around with his PKE meter. Ray walks down a hallway smoking a cigarette. He stops in his tracks when he spots Slimer pigging out at a room service cart. Shocked, the cigarette falls from his mouth.)
Ray: (into walkie-talkie) Venkman! Venkman! (Peter's not there.) Ugh... disgusting blob! I'm going to have to hold it myself...
(He charges his proton pack pack, aims and fires. Startled, Slimer flies through the wall. The cart that he was eating off of goes smashing into the wall.)
(Egon is still walking around with his PKE reader. He scans a man and then pokes the man to see if he's real or if he's a ghost.)
(Peter turns the corner and spots Slimer. He picks up his walkie-talkie.)
Peter: Come in, Ray.
Ray: (picks up his walkie-talkie) Venkman! I saw it! I saw it! I saw it!
Peter: (into WT) It's right here, Ray. It's looking at me.
Ray: (on WT) He's an ugly little spud, isn't he?
Peter: (into WT) I think he can hear you, Ray.
Ray: (on WT) Don't move. It won't hurt you.
(Slimer flies towards Peter, and Peter screams and covers his face. Ray takes off running to find Peter.)
Ray: Venkman! Venkman! Pete!
(Ray finds Peter. Slimer has left, but Peter didn't escape unscathed. He's covered in slime.)
Ray: Venkman! What happened? Are you okay?
Peter: He slimed me.
Ray: That's great! Actual physical contact! Can you move?
Egon: (on WT) Ray? Ray! Come in please!
Peter: I feel so funky.
Ray: Spengler! I'm with Venkman! He got slimed!
Egon: That's great, Ray! Save some for me! Get down here right away. It just went into a ballroom!
(Ray is talking with the Hotel Manager.)
Ray: Okay, sir. If you and your staff will just wait out here, we'll take care of it.
(He goes into the Ballroom and shuts/locks the doors behind him.)
(The guys hide under a table. Ray scans with his ecto-goggles and spots Slimer flying near a chandelier.)
Ray: There it is, on the ceiling.
Peter: That's the one that got me.
(They all climb out from under the table.)
Ray: All right, boys. Ready? Throw it!
(They fire. Slimer flies away. The chandelier falls on a table and smashes.)
(The Hotel Manager hears the crash and gets worried. He tries the doors only to find that they are locked.)
Ray: I did that! I did that! That's my fault!
Peter: That's okay. The table broke the fall.
Egon: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Egon: Don't cross the streams.
Egon: It would be bad.
Peter: I'm fuzzy on the whole good-bad thing. What do you mean, bad?
Egon: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Ray: Total protonic reversal.
Peter: All right, that's bad, okay. Important safety tip, don't cross the streams. Thanks, Egon. All right. Ray, take the left. Egon, take the right. Okay, Ray. Give me one eye on the outside...Ray! (Ray fires and Slimer heads the other direction.) Egon! (Egon fires, destroying a cake, some glasses. Slimer flies behind the bar and Egon fires again. He keeps firing even after Slimer is out of site.) Okay, all right, hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Whoa! Nice shooting, Tex!
(The Hotel Manager is talking to an older woman.)
Hotel Manager: I assure you, Mrs. Van Hoffman, there is nothing wrong with the room. It will be ready promptly, in time, as soon as your guests are with us.
Ray: The last throw took something out of him, but he's gonna move! I need some; I need some room to put the trap down. Give me some room.
(Egon tosses a table out of the way.)
Hotel Manager: (to Mrs. Van Hoffman) If you'll excuse me, please.
(He then quietly sends a bellhop to get security to unlock the door.)
Ray: We gotta get this in the clear!
Peter: Wait, wait! I always wanted to do this. (He pulls a white table cloth off of a table, knocking everything over but the flowers.) And the flowers are still standing!
(Ray sends out the trap.)
Ray: Okay, on my go signal. Spengler, I want a confinement stream from you. Okay? Go! (Egon fires and catches Slimer.) Okay, hold him up there. He's gonna move. Hold him up. Go! (Peter fires and catches Slimer on the other side.)
Egon: It's working, Ray!
Ray: Start bringing him down. Start bringing him down. You got him. Don't cross the streams.
Peter: Maybe now you'll never slime a guy with a positron collider, huh?
Egon: Venkman, shorten your stream! I don't want my face burned off!
(Peter looks down and shortens his stream.)
Ray: All right. I'm opening the trap now; don't look directly into the trap! (opens the trap)
Egon: (wide eyes) I looked at the trap, Ray.
Ray: Bring your streams off as soon as I close the trap. Get ready. I'm closing it, now!
(He closes the trap. The trap is a sort of suction cyclone. It sucks Slimer into it. Peter and Egon shut off their streams and look away. The trap closes and Slimer is stuck inside. The guys inch up on the trap, keeping their proton packs charged and ready. Egon taps the trap with his foot, it shudders but stays closed.)
Egon: It's in there.
Peter: (to Slimer) Hey!
Ray: Well, that wasn't such a chore, now, was it?
(By now, because of all the noise the guys have been making, a crowd has gathered outside the Ballroom doors.)
Hotel Manager: (to Security Guard) Mr. Smith, quickly. I want that door open now! Stand over there!
(At that moment the doors burst open and the guys come out of the Ballroom.)
Peter: We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!
Hotel Manager: Did you see it? What is it?
Ray: We got it!
Hotel Manager: What is it? Will there be any more of them?
Ray: Sir, what you have there is what we refer to as a focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm, or a Class Five full roaming vapor. Real nasty one, too!
Peter: Now, Let's talk seriously, now. For the entrapment, we're gonna have to ask you for (glances at Egon who subtly holds up four fingers) …four big ones. Four thousand dollars for that. But we are having a special this week on proton charging and storage of the beast, and that's only going to come to (looks at Egon again who holds up one finger) …one thousand dollars, fortunately.
Hotel Manager: Five thousand dollars? I had no idea it would be so much. I won't pay it.
Peter: Well, that's all right! We can just put it right back in there.
Ray: We certainly can, Dr. Venkman.
Hotel Manager: No, no, no, no! All right! I'll pay anything!
Peter: Thanks so much.
Ray: Thank you! Hope we can help you again! All right, coming through! Watch out! Class Five full roaming vapor! Watch out!
(Dana is working out while watching the news.)
Roger Grimsby: (on TV) Good evening, I'm Roger Grimsby. Today the entire eastern seaboard is alive with talk of incidents of paranormal activity. Alleged ghost sightings and related supernatural occurrences have been reported across the entire tri-state area.
(Cut to another news broadcast)
Joe Franklin: Well, everybody's heard ghost stories around the campfire. Heck, my grandma used to spin yarns about a spectral locomotive that would rocket past the farm where she grew up! But now, as if some unperceived authority...
(Ghostbusters HQ - Bedroom)
(An alarm bell goes off and the guys run out in their sleepwear.)
(A USA Today flies across the screen.)
(Ecto-1 goes by.)
(A New York Post flashes on the screen.)
(A Chinese man gives Peter and Ray some Peking duck as a thank you for their services. Peter and Ray bow in thanks.)
(Ray comes out holding a trap.)
Ray: Stand aside please!
(Ecto-1 drives up.)
(Larry King's Studio)
Larry King: Hi, this is Larry King. The phone-in topic today: ghosts and ghostbusting. The controversy builds, more sightings are reported. Some maintain these professional paranormal eliminators in New York are the cause of it all.
(The guys run down the sidewalk.)
(Omni flashes across the screen.)
(Egon comes out holding a trap.)
Egon: I got it! Pete? Ray!
(The guys come out to a cheering crowd. Ray shows off the trap he's carrying.)
(Atlantic Monthly flies across the screen)
(The guys run down the street holding their proton guns. We hear Casey Kasem talking.)
Casey Kasem: Still making headlines all across the country, the Ghostbusters are at it again, this time at the fashionable dance club, The Rose. The boys in gray slugged it out with a pretty pesky poltergeist, then stayed on to dance the night away with some of the lovely ladies who witnessed the disturbance. This is Casey Kasem! Now on with the countdown.
(Dana is in her kitchen cooking. She's listening to Casey Kasem. She laughs and takes a drink of champagne.)
Peter: Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week! No job is too big! No fee is too big!
(Ghostbusters HQ - Reception)
Janine: (on phone) Is it just a mist, or does it have arms and legs?
(Dana watches the news as she re-strings her cello.)
Reporter: (to Ray) As they say in TV, I'm sure there's one big question on everybody's mind and I imagine you are the man to answer it. How is Elvis? And have you seen him lately?
(Ray looks stumped.)
(The Globe flies across the screen.)
(Ghostbusters HQ - Outside)
(Ecto-1 drives up. Two people ask Peter for autographs.)
(Ghostbusters HQ - Bedroom)
(All the guys are asleep. Fade into Ray's dream.)
(Ray lies in bed. A beautiful female ghost hovers above him and then vanishes. Now invisible, the ghost unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants. His eyes cross and his head knocks back in pleasure.)
(Ghostbusters HQ - Bedroom)
(Back in reality Ray falls out of bed.)
(Ghostbusters HQ - Outside)
(A middle aged black man stands out side looking at a newspaper. This is Winston Zeddmore. He looks up at the Ghostbusters logo on the building.)
(Janine is interviewing Winston for the job.)
Janine: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projection, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trans-mediums, the Loch Ness monster, and the theory of Atlantis?
Winston: If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.
(Peter and Ray enter looking very tired.)
Ray: Boy, I've gotta get some sleep. I'm dying.
Peter: You don't look good.
Ray: I don't?
Peter: You've looked better. You didn't used to look like this. (to Janine) Here's the paper for the woman out in Brooklyn. She paid with Visa.
Janine: Here's tonight's worksheet.
Ray: Oh, great! Two more free repeaters.
Janine: This is Winston Zeddemore. He's here about the job.
Ray: Beautiful. You're hired. Ray Stantz, Pete Venkman. Congratulations. Can you help me, please? (he hands Winston several traps.) Welcome aboard!
(Carnegie Hall - Outside)
(Dana and a male Violinist exit the Hall.)
Dana: I don't know where they get these guest conductors. Someone should tell him that it's not going to do much good to scream at us in German.
Violinist: Well, I don't think the man is competent to conduct a major symphony orchestra.
(Dana looks up and spots Peter.)
Dana: Um, could you wait here a minute?
Violinist: Uh, sure.
(Dana walks over to Peter.)
Dana: Dr. Venkman, this is a surprise.
Peter: That was a wonderful rehearsal.
Dana: You heard that?
Peter: Yes. You're the best one in your row.
Dana: Oh, thank you. You're good. Most people can't hear me with the whole orchestra playing.
Peter: Hey, I don't have to take this abuse from you. I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.
Dana: I know. You're a big celebrity now. Do you have some information on my case?
Peter: (indicating the Violinist) Who's the stiff?
Dana: The stiff happens to be one of the finest musicians in the world! Now do you have some information for me, please?
Peter: Sure, but I'd prefer to give it to you in private.
Dana: Why don't you tell me now?
Peter: Well, okay. I found the name Zuul for you. (reading off a piece of paper) The name Zuul refers to a demi-god worshipped around 6000 BC by the…what's that word?
Peter: Hittites, the Mesopotamians and the Sumerians.
Dana: (reading) Zuul was the minion of Gozer. What's Gozer?
Peter: Gozer was very big in Sumeria. Big guy.
Dana: Well, what's he doing in my icebox?
Peter: I'm working on that. If
we could get together Thursday night, I'm thinking nine-ish, you know, we could exchange information.
Dana: I can't see you Thursday, I'm busy!
Peter: Miss Barrett, you seem to think there is something wrong up here in your mind that says: he enjoys taking his evenings off and spending them with his clients. No. I'm making a special exception in your case. Because... I respect you. It's corny but I respect you as artist. And as a dresser, too! This is a magnificent coordination you have going here today.
Dana: All right. I'll see you Thursday.
Peter: I'll bring The Roylance Guide and we'll eat and read!
(Dana goes back over to the Violinist and they begin to walk off.)
Violinist: So! Who the hell was that?
Dana: Just a friend.
Violinist: A friend?
Dana: An old friend.
Peter: (yelling) Right, I'll see you Thursday! I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you, sir! And I'm glad you're feeling much better. You're still very pale, though! A little sun...
Violinist: What's he do?
Dana: Oh, he's a scientist.
(Ghostbusters HQ - Basement)
(Ray is showing Winston the protection grid.)
Ray: This is where we put all the vapors and entities and slimers that we trap. Quite simple, really. Load a trap here, open, unlock the system. Insert the trap, release, close, lock the system. Set your entry grid, neutralize your field and the light is green, the trap is clean. The ghost is incarcerated here in a custom-made storage facility.
Janine: There's a man from the EPA here to see you. He's waiting in your office.
Peter: EPA? What's he want?
Janine: I don't know. All I do know is that I've been working two weeks without a break and you promised me you'd hire more help.
Peter: Janine, someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries. (the phone starts ringing) You gonna answer that? (walks off)
Janine: I've quit better jobs than this. (answers the phone) Ghostbusters! What do you want?!
(The EPA man, Walter Peck, is waiting for him.)
Peter: Can I help you?
Walter: I'm Walter Peck. I represent the Environmental Protection Agency, the third district.
Peter: Great! How's it going down there? (slaps Peck on the back, getting some slime on him.)
Walter: Are you Peter Venkman?
Peter: Yes, I'm Dr. Venkman.
Walter: Exactly what are you a doctor of, Mr. Venkman?
Peter: Well, I have PhD's in parapsychology and psychology.
Walter: I see. And now you catch ghosts?
Peter: Yeah, you could say that.
Walter: And how many ghosts have you caught, Mr. Venkman?
Peter: I'm not at liberty to say.
Walter: And where do you put these ghosts, once you catch them?
Peter: In a storage facility.
Walter: And would this storage facility be located on these premises?
Walter: And may I see this storage facility?
Walter: And why not, Mr. Venkman?
Peter: Because you did not use the magic word.
Walter: What is the magic word, Mr. Venkman?
Peter: (like it's obvious) Please.
Walter: May I please see the storage facility?
Peter: Why do you want to see the storage facility?
Walter: Well, because I'm curious. I want to know more about what you do here! Frankly, there have been a lot of wild stories in the media and we want to assess for any possible environmental impact from your operation! For instance, the presence of noxious, possibly hazardous waste chemicals in your basement! Now you either show me what is down there or I come back with a court order.
Peter: You go get a court order! And I'll sue your ass for wrongful prosecution.
Walter: You can have it your way, Mr. Venkman.
Egon: I'm worried, Ray. It's getting crowded in there. And all my recent data points to something big on the horizon.
Winston: What do you mean, big?
Egon: Well. (holds up a Twinkie) Let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. According this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
(Ray coughs in shock)
Winston: That's a big Twinkie.
(Egon nods and proceeds to eat his Twinkie.)
Ray: We could be on the verge of a fourfold crossrip! A PKE surge of incredible, even dangerous proportions!
Peter: (coming down the stairs) We just had a visit from the Environmental Protection Agency. How's the grid holding up?
Ray: Not good.
Winston: Tell him about the Twinkie.
Peter: What about the Twinkie?
(Dana's Apartment Building)
(A storm seems to be growing over the apartment building. The demon dog breaks out of it's stone enclosure.)
(The 22nd Floor)
(Dana gets off the elevator and tries to walk very quietly past Louis's apartment. But Louis's radar picks her up and he runs out of his apartment to say Hi.)
Louis: Oh, Dana, it's you!
Dana: Hello, Louis.
Louis: You gotta come in here! You're missing a classic party!
Dana: Yes, well, I would, Louis. But I have a date.
Louis: (disappointed) You made a date tonight?
Dana: Well, I'm sorry, Louis. I forgot.
Louis: Well, that's okay. You can bring him along!
Dana: All right, maybe we'll stop by. Okay? (goes into her apartment and shuts the door.)
Louis: That's great, I'll tell everybody you're coming. We're gonna play Twister and we're gonna do some break dancing. Hey, everybody…(he goes to enter his apartment, but once again he's locked himself out.)(shouting into door) Hey, let me in! It's Louis, somebody let me in!
(Dana starts to change when the phone rings.)
Dana: (into phone) Hello? Oh, hi Mom. - I've been busy. - No, everything is fine. Just that one time. - I will. -I won't. - Mom, I have to go. I have a date. - Yes. - No, no one you know. It's, um- Well, he's a Ghostbuster. Those guys on TV. - Yes, well, I'll have to let you know. Love to Dad. Right. Bye. Bye! (She hangs up the phone. Suddenly we hear a growling noise. She looks at her kitchen door, and claws appear in the door, like they're trying to claw their way out.) Oh shit.
(Several clawed hands reach up through the chair she's sitting in and hold her down so she can't escape. She screams. The chair swivels around so it's facing the kitchen door. She continues to scream. The kitchen door opens and we see one of the demon dogs. It growls at her, and the chair moves forward into the kitchen and the door shuts behind her.)
(Only remnants of the stone statue remain. The demon dog's are gone.)
Woman: Do you have any Excedrin or Extra Strength Tylenol?
Louis: Gee, I think all I got is this cedacelacytic acid. Generic. See, I can get six hundred tablets of that for the same price as three hundred of the name brand. Makes good financial sense. Good advice. (he walks over to the table with the food) Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound. (to Marv) It only cost me $14.12 after tax, though. I'm giving this whole thing as a promotional expense. That's why I invited clients instead of friends. You having a good time, Marv? How ya doing? Why don't you have some of the Brie? It's at room temperature! (to a pretty blonde woman) You think it's too warm in here for the Brie?
Blonde Woman: Louis, I'm going home.
Louis: Oh, don't leave yet. Listen, maybe if we start dancing, other people will join in.
Blonde Woman: Okay!
(They begin to dance. The doorbell rings.)
Louis: Oh, don't move. I just gotta get the door. (he goes over and opens the door to reveal a middle aged couple.) Ted! Annette! Hi! How you doing? Give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming. Ted has a small carpet-cleaning business in receivership, and that's drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago. They've got fifteen thousand left on the house at 8%; so they're okay!(he opens the bedroom door and throws the jackets onto the bed with the rest, only now a demon dog is sitting on the bed, but since Louis is looking the other way he doesn't see it. He shuts the door.) So, does anybody want to play Parcheesi? (the demon dog growls from the bedroom) Okay! Who brought the dog?
(Suddenly the demon dog jumps out of the bedroom, smashing the door. The party guests start going crazy. The blonde woman jumps out of the window. Louis takes off out the front door.)
(Louis rushes down the hall and pushes the button for the elevator. The demon dog breaks out of Louis's apartment. It looks at Louis for a moment. The elevator arrives and Louis quickly gets in and shuts the doors. One of Louis's neighbors comes out into the hallway to see what all the noise is about but when she sees the demon dog she goes back inside her apartment.)
(Outside Apartment Building)
Louis: (running as fast as he can) Help! There's a bear loose in my apartment! Help, help! Help! (he jumps over the wall separating the street from central park)
Doorman: A bear in his apartment?
(The demon dog comes flying out of the building, knocking the doorman down, and chasing after Louis.)
(Louis runs up and tries to get into the restaurant, but all the doors are locked.)
Louis: I'm going to bring this up at the next tenant's meeting. There's not supposed to be any pets in the building. (bangs on some of the windows) There's gotta be in a way in. Somebody let me in! (He stops yelling as he hears the dog behind him. He turns and faces it.) Nice doggie. Cute little pooch. Maybe I got a Milk-Bone...
(The dog growls and Louis screams, and falls to the pavement. The restaurant guests pause for about 10 seconds before resuming their meal.)
(Outside Apartment Building)
(Peter walks up surveying what's going on.)
Peter: What happened?
Policeman: Some moron brought a cougar to a party and it went berserk.
Peter: (to Doorman) Hi, I'm going up to Dana Barrett's.
(The doorman shows him in.)
(Another policeman is questioning some party guests. Peter walks by them and knocks on Dana's door. Dana opens the door. Zuul, the Gatekeeper, has now possessed Dana. She looks a lot wilder than before.)
Peter: Hello? That's a different look for you, isn't it?
Dana: Are you the Keymaster?
Peter: Not that I know of.
(She slams door in his face. He knocks again. She opens the door again, very seductively.)
Dana: Are you the Keymaster?
Peter: Yes. (he slips into the apartment)
(Dana's Living Room)
Peter: I'm a friend of his. He told me to meet him here. I didn't get your name.
Dana: I am Zuul. I am the Gatekeeper.
Peter: What are we doing today, Zuul?
Dana: We must prepare for the coming of Gozer.
Peter: Gozer, huh?
Dana: The Destructor. (crawls onto the bed)
Peter: Are we still going out? (he looks around the apartment) You know, you could pick up the place if you're expecting someone.
Dana: (lays down on the bed and begins writhing seductively.) Do you want this body?
Peter: Is this a trick question? I guess the roses worked, huh.
Dana: Take me now, subcreature.
Peter: We never talk any more. (Dana grabs him and pulls him down on top of her.) I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people. Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule. (she rolls them over so that she's on top.)
Dana: I want you inside me.
Peter: Go ahead! No, I can't, sounds like you've already got at least two people in there already. (breaks free) Might a little crowded. Now, why don't you quit trying to upset and disturb Dr. Venkman and just relax. Lie down there, relax. Put your hands on your chest. Yes. What I'd like to do is talk to Dana. I wanna talk to Dana. Dana? It's Peter.
Dana: There is no Dana. There is only Zuul.
Peter: Whoa, Zuulie you nut. Now come on. Come on. I want to talk to Dana. Dana, Dana. Relax, come on. Dana, Dana. Can I talk to Dana?
(Dane smiles an evil smile. The voice of Zuul comes from her.)
Zuul: There is no Dana, only Zuul!
Peter: What a lovely singing voice you must have. Now I'm going to count to three, Zuulie, and if I don't get to hear Dana, there's going to be some real trouble in this apartment, I think. One! Two! (Dana's eyes begin to flutter) Two and a half! (Zuul begins to scream. Dana floats above the bed. She turns over so that she's looking down at Peter.) Please come down. (Dana growls at him.)
(Louis has become Vince Clortho.)
Louis: (talking to himself) I am the Keymaster! The Destructor will come, the Traveler! The Destroyer! Gatekeeper! (he approaches a horse on a wagon) I am Vince. Vince Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer, Volguus Zildrohar, Lord of the Sebouillia. Are you the Gatekeeper?
Coachman: Hey, he pulls the wagon, I make the deals. You wanna ride?
(Louis looks at the coachman and his eyes go red. The coachman shuts up and Louis goes back to talking to the horse.)
Louis: Wait for the sign, and our prisoners will be released. (runs off, yelling back to the coachman.) You will perish in flame! Soon as I find the Gatekeeper!
Coachman: What an asshole.
(Ghostbusters HQ - Outside)
(A policeman goes up and knocks on the door. Janine answers it.)
Janine: Dropping off or picking up?
Policeman: Dropping off.
Janine: Just a moment.
(Janine shuts the door, and then comes back a minute later with Egon. They both step outside.)
Policeman: You a Ghostbuster?
Policeman: We picked up this guy, now we don't know what to do with him. Bellevue doesn't want him and I'm afraid to put him in the lock-up. And I know you guys are into this stuff, so I figured we'd check with you.
Egon: All right.
(Louis is in the police van wearing a straight jacket.)
Louis: Are you the Gatekeeper?
(Egon does a scan of Louis with the PKE meter. He raises an eyebrow as the readings go through the roof.)
Egon: You'd better bring him inside.
Janine: You are so kind to take care of that poor man. You know, you're a real humanitarian.
Egon: I don't think he's human.
(Ghostbusters HQ - Lab)
Egon: What'd you say your name was?
Louis: Vince Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer.
Janine: (looking through Louis's wallet) Well, according to this, his name's Louis Tully. Lives on Central Park West. Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tully?
Louis: (to Egon) Do I?
Egon: Yes, have some.
Louis: (to Janine) Yes, have some.
Egon: Vince, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?
Louis: Gozer the Traveler! He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the Rectification of the Vuldronaii, the Traveler came as a large and moving Torb! Then, during the Third Reconciliation of the Last of the Meketrex Supplicants, they chose a new form for him, that of a giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of a Sloar that day, I can tell you!
Janine: Egon? (motions for him to come over)
Egon: (to Louis) Excuse me. (goes over to Janine)
Janine: There's something very strange about that man...(they look over and Louis is sniffing a jar of popcorn) Listen, I'm usually very psychic, and I'm have a terrible feeling that something awful is going to happen to you. I'm afraid you're going to die. (Egon holds Janine to comfort her. The phone rings and Louis jumps.)
Egon: I'll get it! Hello? (Louis brings the rest of the phone over to him.) Thanks, I've got it.
Peter: Egon, it's Peter. I have some news from the world of Gozer.
Egon: (on phone) What is it, Peter?
Peter: I'm here with Dana Barrett. It seems that the Goz' has been putting some moves on my would-be girlfriend!
Egon: (on phone) How is she?
Peter: I think we can get her a guest shot on Wild Kingdom. I just whacked her up with about 300 cc's of thorozine. She's going to take a little nap now. She says she's the Gatekeeper, does that make any sense to you?
Egon: Some. I've just met the Keymaster. He's here with me now.
Peter: (on phone) Oh, wonderful, we have to get these two together.
(Louis takes a slice of pizza, sniffs it, and then sticks it on his cheek.)
Egon: I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous.
Peter: (on phone) Okay, well, hold on to him. I'll be over there in a little while.
Egon: Good. (Louis takes the phone from Egon.) Thank you, Vince. (to Janine) We have to find Ray. I need him here immediately.
(Dana lies on her bed, asleep.)
Peter: Bad news, honey. I gotta go to work. Hey, will you stay here in bed until I get back? (kisses her)
(Ecto-1 drives across the bridge. Ray and Winston are in the car. Winston is driving while Ray studies some blueprints.)
Winston: Hey, Ray, do you believe in God?
Ray: Never met him.
Winston: Yeah, well I do. And I love Jesus's style, you know.
Ray: ... this roof cap is made of a magnesium-tungsten alloy...
Winston: What are you so involved in there?
Ray: These are the blueprints for the structural ironwork for Dana's apartment building, and they're very, very strange.
Winston: Hey, Ray. Do you remember something in the Bible about the last days, when the dead would rise from the grave?
Ray: I remember Revelation 7:12. And I looked, as he opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake, and the sun became as black as sackcloth. And the moon became as blood.
Winston: And the seas boiled and the skies fell.
Ray: Judgment Day.
Winston: Judgment Day.
Ray: Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world.
Winston: Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we've been so busy lately is because the dead have been rising from the grave? (pause)
Ray: (shivers) How about a little music?
(Ray turns on the radio as Ecto-1 keeps going.)
(Ghostbusters HQ - Outside, Day)
(Several Police cars drive up. Walter Peck is back and he's got the police with him.)
(Ghostbusters HQ - Inside)
(Walter enters with a policeman and an electric company man.)
Walter: This way.
Janine: Excuse me. Excuse me! Just where do you think you're going?
Walter: Stand aside, miss, or I'll have you arrested for interfering with a police…
Janine: Oh no, hold on! I've seen TV, I know you can't come in here without a warrant or writ or something!
Walter: (holding up some papers) Cease and desist all commerce order, seizure of premises and chattels, ban on use of public utilities for unauthorized waste handlers, and a federal entry and inspection order. (he pushes past her)
Egon: Vince, there's one more test I'd like to perform…
(Janine comes down the stairs followed by Walter and his goons.)
Janine: Egon, I tried to stop them! He says they have a warrant.
Egon: Excuse me, this is private property!
Walter: (pointing to the containment area) Shut this off. Shut these all off.
Egon: I'm warning you, turning off these machines would be extremely hazardous.
Walter: I'll tell you what's hazardous. You're facing federal prosecution for at least half a dozen environmental violations. Now either you shut these beams off or we shut them off for you.
(Ghostbusters HQ - Outside)
(Peter arrives in a taxi.)
(Ghostbusters HQ - Basement)
Egon: Try to understand. This is a high voltage laser containment system. Simply turning it off would be like dropping a bomb on the city.
Walter: Don't patronize me! I'm not grotesquely stupid like the people you bilk!
Peter: (coming down the stairs) At ease, officer. I'm Peter Venkman. I think there's just been a slight misunderstanding and I wanna to cooperate in any way that I can.
Walter: Forget it, Venkman! You had your chance to cooperate, but you thought it'd be more fun to insult me. Well, now it is my turn, wise ass.
Egon: He wants to shut down the protection grid, Peter.
Peter: You shut that thing down and we are not going to be held responsible for whatever happens.
Walter: On the contrary! You're going to be held responsible.
Peter: No! We won't be held responsible!
Walter: Shut it off!
Peter: Don't shut it off. I'm warning you.
Electric Co. Guy: I - I've never seen anything like this before.
Walter: I'm not interested in your opinion, just shut it off.
Peter: (stopping the electric guy) My friend, don't be a jerk.
Policeman: Step aside!
Walter: If he does that again, you can shoot him.
Policeman: You do your job, pencil neck! Don't tell me how to do mine!
Peter: Thank you, officer.
Walter: Shut it off!
(Peter starts going up the stairs. Egon and Janine follow, as does Vince. As Egon goes by the Policeman he makes gestures with his hands and mouths 'Boom'. The electric co. guy pulls the lever, shutting off the protection grid. Alarms go off and lights flash.)
(Dana tosses in her sleep.)
(Ghostbusters HQ - Basement)
(The walls begin to shudder, and everyone begins running for the stairs and out of the building.)
Electric Co. Guy: Oh shit.
(Everyone continues to run like hell out of the building.)
Egon: Clear the building!
(Ghostbusters HQ - Outside)
(Louis runs out. The roof of the building explodes as all of the ghosts and ghouls escape.)
(Dana wakes with a start.)
(Ghostbusters HQ - Outside)
(The ghosts and ghouls continue to stream out of the containment area.)
Louis: This is it! This is the sign! (begins to walk off)
Janine: Yeah, it's a sign all right. We're going out of business.
(Ecto-1 drives up. Police start to arrive. Ray and Winston get out of the car and look around at what's happened.)
Ray: What happened?
Egon: The storage facilities blew. He shut off the protection grid.
Ray: Oh, great.
Winston: That's bad, isn't it?
Peter: Where's the Keymaster?
Ray: Who's the Keymaster?
Egon: Come on!
(They take off to look for Louis, but Peck and some Police officers stop them.)
Walter: Hold it! I want this man arrested. Captain, these men are in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act, and this explosion is a direct result of it!
Egon: Your mother…!
(Egon launches himself at Walter, but the police hold him back.)
(The ghosts continue to pour out of the containment facility.)
(New York City)
(Pink and Orange streams of light fly over the city.)
(Dana walks over to the window, smiling.)
(Subway Tunnel - Outside)
(Louis wanders by the subway tunnel opening.)
(Some pink smoke enters a taxi's tailpipe. A business man gets into the taxi.)
Businessman: Columbia Building, 53rd street, and I'm in a hurry, so let's not dawdle.
(The driver is now a zombie. He peels out at breakneck speed and makes a U-turn. Other cars and people jump out of the way.)
(Louis is walking around look up at all the ghosts flying around.)
(The man in charge of the hotdog cart opens the cart to get a dog for someone, but Slimer is inside, pigging out.)
(Bolts of pink light fly up, past her window.)
(Louis continues to walk down the street looking up at the sky.)
(Dana growls again and her walls explode out.)
(Pigeons fly from Louis.)
(She stares out what is left of her wall. Her hair blows in the breeze.)
(Our guys are in the lock-up.)
Winston: Hey, guard! I want to make a phone call! I just work with these guys! I wasn't even there!
(Ray and Egon have several blueprints spread out over a table.)
Egon: The structure of this roof cap is exactly like the kind of telemetry tracker that NASA uses to identify dead pulsars in deep space.
Ray: Cold riveted girders with cores of pure selenium.
Peter: (to everyone who's not a ghostbuster) Everyone getting this so far? So what? I guess they just don't make them like they used to.
Ray: (smacks Peter) No! Nobody ever made them like this! The architect was either a certified genius or an authentic wacko!
Peter: Ray, for a moment, pretend that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering or physics and just tell me what the hell is going on.
Ray: You never studied. The whole building is a huge super-conductive antenna that was designed and built expressly for the purpose of pulling in and concentrating spiritual turbulence. Your girlfriend, Pete, lives in the corner penthouse of Spook Central.
Peter: She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers. Four feet above her covers! She barks, she drools, she claws...
Egon: It's not the girl, Peter, it's the building! Something terrible is about the enter our world and this building is obviously the door. The architect's name was Ivo Shandor. I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide. He was also a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery. And then in 1920 he founded a secret society.
Peter: Let me guess. Gozer worshippers.
Peter: (to Ray) No studying!
Egon: After the First World War, Shandor decided that society was too sick to survive. And he wasn't alone. He had close to a thousand followers when he died. They conducted rituals up on the roof, bizarre rituals intended to bring about the end of the world, and now it looks like it may actually happen!
Peter: (singing) So be good, for goodness sake! Whoa! Somebody's coming! Somebody's coming!
Ray: We have to get out of here. We've gotta get a judge or something.
Winston: Hey! Hey! Hold it! Now we going to actually going to go before a federal judge and say that some moldy old Babylonian god is going to drop in on Central Park West and start tearing up the city?
Egon: Sumerian, not Babylonian.
Peter: Yeah, big difference!
Winston: No offense, guys, but I gotta get my own lawyer.
Guard: Okay, Ghostbusters! The mayor wants to see you guys. The whole island's going crazy! Let's go.
Peter: (to other jailbirds) I gotta split. The mayor wants to rap with me about some things.
(Dana's Apartment Building - Outside)
(Louis is walking by. He stops and looks up.)
(Dana sits lounging in a chair in what's left of her apartment. The door swings open and Louis walks in.)
Louis: I am the Keymaster!
Dana: I am the Gatekeeper.
(They kiss passionately, then turn and go up the stairs to the roof.)
(City Hall - Outside)
(The Police escort the Ghostbusters to the Mayor's office. Reporters and photographers try to get pictures.)
Mayor: I got a city blowing up, and you guys are not giving me any answers!
Police Chief: All right. We're blocking the bridges, the roads. I mean…
Aide: The Ghostbusters are here, Mr. Mayor.
Mayor: The Ghostbusters, all right, the Ghostbusters. (the Ghostbusters enter) Hey, where's this Peck?
Walter: (walking in) I am Walter Peck, sir, and I'm prepared to make a full report. These men are consummate snowball artists! They use sensitive nerve gases to induce hallucinations. People think they're seeing ghosts! And they call these bozos, who conveniently show up to deal with the problem with a fake electronic light show!
Ray: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Peter: Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.
(Walter lunges at Peter, but the Police hold him back.)
Policeman: Break it up, break it up!
Peter: Well that's what I heard!
Mayor: This is City Hall! Now what am I gonna do here, John? What is this?
Fire Chief: All I know is: that was no light show we saw this morning. I've seen every kind of combustion known to man, but this beats the hell out of me.
Police Chief: The walls in the 53rd precinct were bleeding. How do you explain that?
(The door opens and the Archbishop enters the room.)
Archbishop: Good afternoon, gentlemen.
Mayor: Oh... Your Eminence!
(The Mayor goes over and kisses the Archbishop's ring. Peter raises his eyebrows.)
Archbishop: How are you, Lenny?
Mayor: You're looking good, Mike. (he gives the Archbishop's face a friendly smack.) We're in a real fix, here. What do you think I should do?
Archbishop: Lenny, officially, the Church will not take any position on the religious implications of these phenomena. Personally, Lenny, I think it's a sign from God. But don't quote me on that.
Mayor: I think that's a smart move, Mike. But I'm not gonna call a press conference and tell everyone to start praying.
Winston: I'm Winston Zeddemore, Your Honor. Look, I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks. But I gotta tell you, these things are real. Since I joined these men, I've seen shit that'll turn you white!
Peter: Well, you could believe Mr. Pecker.
Walter: My name is Peck!
Peter: Or you could accept the fact that this city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, biblical?
Ray: What he means is Old Testament biblical, Mr. Mayor. Real wrath-of-God-type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming from the sky! Rivers and seas boiling!
Egon: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes! Volcanoes!
Winston: The dead rising from the grave!
Peter: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!
Mayor: Enough! I get the point! What if you're wrong?
Peter: If I'm wrong, nothing happens! We go to jail. Peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it! But if I'm right, and we can stop this thing…Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.
(The Mayor smiles and the Archbishop nods his head.)
Walter: I don't believe you're seriously considering listening to these men.
Mayor: (pointing at Walter) Get him out of here.
Peter: (waves) Bye.
Walter: (being escorted out) I'll fix you, Venkman. I'm gonna fix you!
Peter: I am going to send you a nice fruit basket. I'm gonna miss him!
Walter: (to guards) All right, all right!
Mayor: You've got work to do. Now what do you need from me?
(New York City Street)
(The streets are clear, but the sidewalks are jammed with people waving signs and cheering. Military and police personnel are all around. The Ghostbusters are waiting in Ecto-1.)
Peter: Come on, let's run some red lights!
(The military convoy starts moving.)
(Dana's Apartment Building - Outside)
(Dark clouds have begun to form over the building. The Ghostbusters arrive. They get out of Ecto-1 and the crowd goes wild.).
Peter: Hello, New York! Well, hi, everyone! (he holds up Ray's hand) Dr. Ray Stantz! Would you please? The heart of the Ghostbusters! Thank you. (to Ray) They love you. They love you here! (he walks down the sidewalk shaking hands) I like that shirt, pal! Gotta run. Got a date with a ghost! (All of the Ghostbusters put on their proton packs.) All right, whatever happens, let's be professionals.
(The Ghostbusters assemble in front of the building, looking up. Lightning strikes the building.)
Ray: We might have to put a little overtime in on this one!
(Suddenly there is an earthquake. The earth opens up beneath the Ghostbusters feet and they tumble down. A water main breaks. Everyone panics. Just as suddenly the earthquake stops.)
Observer #1: Are you all right?
Observer #2: Ghostbusters?
Observer #3: Are they all right?
(Suddenly a hand appears and the guys climb out of the hole.)
Observer #1: There they are!
Crowd: Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Peter: We're all right, it's all right, we can take it! You gotta learn to play rough! You wanna play rough?
Winston: Let's go!
(The guys get into a huddle, grab hands, push them down, and then up, much like a football team, then they enter the building.)
(The guys groan as they climb the stairs.)
Peter: Where are we?
Ray: Oh, it looks like we're in the teens somewhere.
Peter: Well, when we get to twenty, tell me. I'm gonna throw up.
(Temple of Gozer - The Roof)
(Louis and Dana now stand on pedestals facing a large door. Lightening hits them and they direct it at the door forcing the door to open.)
Ray: Twenty-two. Is this it?
Egon: Art Deco, very nice.
Ray: Where is it?
Peter: (points) It's at the end of the hall.
(The guys walk in and look around at what's left of Dana's apartment. Ray notices the stairs to the roof.)
Ray: Hey, where do these stairs go?
Peter: They go up. (He makes a move to go up the stairs when lightening strikes again up on the roof. He steps back and motions for the others to go before him.) Okay. Go ahead. Come on, go ahead. Come on. Go ahead!
(Temple of Gozer)
(The Ghostbusters arrive. Lightning strikes Dana and Louis again. They begin to shake.)
(Suddenly Dana and Louis both turn into demon dogs. Both of them growl. They jump down from the pedestals they're on and go to sit on the one's by the doors.)
Peter: Okay. So…she's a dog.
(The Ghostbusters line up in front of the temple. Gozer emerges from the temple.)
Ray: It's a girl.
(Gozer ignores them and goes over to pet each of the dogs in turn.)
Egon: It's Gozer.
Winston: I thought Gozer was a man.
Egon: It's whatever it wants to be.
Peter: Well, whatever it is, it's gotta get by us!
Peter: Go get her, Ray!
(Ray steps up closer to Gozer.)
Ray: Gozer the Gozerian! Good evening! As a duly designated representative of the state, county and city of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension!
Peter: That ought to do it. Thanks very much, Ray.
Gozer: Are you a god?
(Ray looks back at Peter who nods "yes".)
Gozer: (swinging it's arms around) Then... die!
(Gozer shoots lightening at the Ghostbusters and they fly back across the temple. They cling to the edge of the building in an effort not to fall off. Down on the ground the crowd screams with fear. Our guys carefully pull themselves back up onto the roof. )
Winston: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say, "Yes!"
Peter: All right. This chick is toast! (they march up to the temple side by side) Got your stick?
All: (pulling out their proton guns) Holding!
Peter: Heat 'em up!
All: (charging guns) Smoking!
Peter: Make 'em hard!
Peter: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown. Now! (they all fire at Gozer. It yells and jumps over them to the other side of the temple.) Nimble little minx, isn't she? Aim for the flat top! (they fire again and Gozer disappears) Well! That wasn't so hard.
Ray: We neutralized it! You know what that means? A complete particle reversal!
Winston: Hey, we have the tools, we have the talent!
Peter: It's Miller time!
Egon: (reading the PKE meter) Ray? This looks extraordinarily bad. (suddenly an earthquake hits the temple and pieces of the building begin to fall) Look out!
(Down on the ground the crowd screams and runs as the rocks hit the ground.)
(Temple of Gozer)
Gozer: (os) Subcreatures! Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, the Traveler, has come! Choose and perish!
Ray: What do you mean, choose? We don't understand!
Gozer: Choose! Choose the form of the Destructor!
Peter: Whoa! I get it, I get it. Very cute! Whatever we think of - if we think of J. Edgar Hoover, J. Edgar Hoover will appear and destroy us, okay? So empty your heads. Empty your heads. Don't think of anything. We've only got one shot at this.
Gozer: The choice is made! The Traveler has come!
Peter: Whoa! Whoa! Nobody choosed anything! Did you choose anything?
Peter: Did you?
Winston: My mind's totally blank!
Peter: I didn't choose anything!
(The three of them turn to look at Ray who has a very guilty look on his face.)
Ray: I couldn't help it. It just popped in there!
Peter: What? What just popped in there?
Ray: I - I tried to think -
(They can hear screaming and stomping sounds coming from below.)
Ray: No! It can't be!
Peter: What is it?
Ray: It can't be!
Peter: What did you do, Ray?
Ray: It can't be!
Winston: Aw, shit!
Ray: It's the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.
(On the street below the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man stomps over cars as people run away screaming.)
(Temple of Gozer)
Peter: Well, there's something you don't see every day.
Ray: I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never, ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay-Puft...
Peter: Nice thinking, Ray.
Ray: We used to roast Stay-Puft marshmallows, by the fire at Camp Oconda!
Peter: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon. What have you got left?
Egon: Sorry, Venkman. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.
(The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man looks up and growls at them.)
Winston: Oh, no.
Peter: Mother pus-bucket!
(On the ground Walter is trying to keep his distance from the Marshmallow Man as it steps on a Church.)
(Temple of Gozer)
Peter: Nobody steps on a church in my town!
Ray: One, two, three! Roast him!
(They blast Mr. Stay-Puft. It puts him on fire. He climbs up the side of the building.)
(They run and hide.)
Ray: Funny, us going out like this. Killed by a hundred-foot marshmallow man.
Peter: We've been going about this all wrong! This Mr. Stay-Puft isn't so bad. He's a sailor, he's in New York; we get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble!
(Mr. Stay-Puft continues to scale the building.)
Egon: I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways. We could reverse the particle flow through the gate.
Egon: We'll cross the streams.
Peter: Excuse me, Egon, you said crossing the streams was bad.
Ray: Cross the streams...
Peter: You're gonna endanger us, you're gonna endanger our client. The nice lady who paid us in advance before she became a dog.
Egon: Not necessarily. There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive.
Peter: (giving in) I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it. Let's do it!
Winston: This job is definitely not worth eleven-five a year!
(They move over to temple stairs just as Mr. Stay-Puft shows his puffy face.)
Peter: See you on the other side, Ray. (he fires)
Ray: Nice working with you, Dr. Venkman. (he fires, then he and Peter combine their streams) Let's turn 'em on, Spengler! (Both Winston and Egon fire) Cross 'em now, Spengler!
(They all move closer together to cross all the streams. Mr. Stay-Puft is not happy about this development. The combined streams cause the gates to swing shut.)
All: (randomly) Aggh! Oh, no! Help! It's gonna blow! Let's get out of here!
(They stop firing and run to find a safe spot. The Temple goes up in a ball of fire, taking Mr. Stay-Puft with it.)
(On the ground, the melted marshmallow falls from the sky. People are covered with the stuff. Walter looks up just in time to be hit with a big pile of liquid marshmallow.)
(Marshmallow all over everything. The guys come out of their "hiding" spots.)
Ray: Oh... oh... Winston? Are you all right?
Winston: Yeah, yeah.
Ray: Venkman? Spengler? Venkman? Spengler? (Egon comes out, covered in marshmallow.) Oh, Spengler, are you okay?
Egon: I feel like the floor of a taxi cab.
(Peter walks up. He's lucky, he only has a little bit of marshmallow on him. Not like the others who are covered with it.)
Peter: Yeah. I'm all right.
Ray: Thank God. You okay?
Egon: I'm all right.
Ray: You all right?
Peter: I'm all right.
Ray: You okay?
(He walks over to where the stone remains of the demon dogs are.)
Ray: Oh. Smells like barbecued dog hair. Oh... Venkman. Oh, Venkman, I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I... I just forgot.
(Peter says nothing. He just turns away and begins to walk off. Suddenly a part of the statue breaks off and a hand reaches out. A soft moan can be heard from inside. Obviously this is Dana's demon dog.)
(Peter turns, and so do the others, they spot Dana's hand and begin to break apart the remnants of the demon dog to free her. Peter lifts Dana out as Louis stands up across the roof with the demon dog's head still on.)
Louis: Somebody turn on the lights! Help! Somebody turn on the lights!
Peter: Go check on that little guy!
(Egon, Ray, and Winston go to help him. They remove the dog head.)
Louis: What happened?
Dana: Oh... oh... oh... where am I? (opens her eyes and sees Peter) Oh... hi...
Egon: (re: Louis) He'll be all right.
Louis: (looking around at what's left of the roof) Boy, the superintendent's gonna be pissed.
Ray: Are you okay?
Louis: Who are you guys?
Ray: We're the Ghostbusters.
Louis: Who does your taxes?
(Peter leads Dana to the stairs. Ray, Egon, and Louis follow them.)
Ray: You know, Mr. Tully, you are a most fortunate individual!
Louis: I know.
Ray: You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional crossrip since the Tunguska blast of 1909!
Louis: Felt great!
Egon: We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue.
Winston: I love this town!
(He claps his hands and heads for the stairs himself.)
(On the Ground)
(The crowd cheers as the Ghostbusters and Dana and Louis exit the building. Peter gives Dana a kiss. Ray smokes a cigarette and waves. Dana and Peter head for Ecto-1. Egon exits the building, and Janine runs up to him.)
(They kiss. He pats her cheeks. They walk off as Louis comes out, waving.)
Louis: What's going on? Does anyone wanna interview me? I'm an eyewitness. I was up there! (Red Cross employees take him off, but Louis protests.) I wanna go with them, in the car.
(Winston takes off his proton pack and puts it away. The Ghostbusters get into Ecto-1. The crowd parts as Ecto-1 drives off. The crowd follows the car. Slimer flies above the crowd, screaming, and finally flies into the camera. Fade to black. THE END.)