The Question

Author's note: I'm sorry about all the angst questioning stuff in the previous chap. It kind of isn't really in flow with the story but "as you were" kinda messed me up. Sorry guys. But this chap is better.





Dawn walked beside Buffy through the dark woods. "Are we okay?" Buffy asked lightly.

"Yeah, I think so," Dawn murmured. "I just want to be a part of your life Buffy. Not be left behind and ignored."

"Dawn you are the biggest part of my life. You're my sister and I love you so much it hurts sometimes. You're the only family I have left in this world," Buffy stopped and wrapped Dawn in a tight hug.

"Buffy. Air," Dawn choked out.

Buffy quickly released her. "Oh, sorry," she apologized.

"No problem," Dawn said with a smile and they began walking again.

After a moment Dawn asked "So, am I still grounded."

"Yup," Buffy answered without hesitation.

Dawn veered left and cut through the trees. "This way," she called back to her sister.

"How do you know about this place," Buffy asked as she followed closely at Dawn's heels, keeping an eye out for anything that might be lurking in the shadows.

"When you were gone and I'd get really depressed or sad Spike used to take me here sometimes. Said he liked the view and that it always made him feel better when things got real bad," Dawn answered.

Buffy felt her heart in her throat and suddenly couldn't push any words out. Suddenly all the doubts about his darkness floated away. He would always take care of her and Dawn. He'd always be there. Like he already had been. Sure there was darkness in him but there was darkness in her too. Their darknesses matched. She needed it sometimes. It gave him the power to stand and fight beside her. But there was light in him too. Light that made him love and care. She ached to find him. He'd be hurting and he might do something crazy thinking she'd betrayed him. Pushing back the zing of tears behind her eyes she asked in a rough voice, "Is it much farther?"

Dawn pushed a branch out of her face and looked around. "Nope. We're almost there." The ground had begun to rise on a steady incline and they both picked up the pace.





Angel and Cordy opened the front door without knocking and stumbled inside. Cordy was kind of limping and Angel was gingerly rubbing his shoulder. They had the look of people who have just emerged from a cave and the light is still too bright to handle. Angel plopped down in the armchair and reached for his son, wincing a little at the movement. Cordy headed straight for the food on the coffee table and started rummaging through the half-empty boxes. Willow and Tara followed not far behind, Tara lagging to gently close the door. "Where's Giles?" Willow asked Xander and Anya.

"He said that he wanted no part in all this foolish magic and that he was going straight to bed with a good book," Anya repeated, her eyes looking up as if she were reading the words from inside her head.

"Oh," Willow muttered dejectedly. Tara's mouth tightened as if she could understand Giles' point but she said nothing as she picked up a slice of pizza.

Angel looked at the food with desire as his acute hearing picked out the grumbling of his own stomach. "Hey guys, I don't suppose there's any blood in the house is there?"

"I'm not really sure. Spike might've tossed some in there. You're welcome to it if there is any," Xander answered. "I'm sure no one's gonna fight ya for it."

Angel moved to get up with a groan but Willow broke and said, "I'll go check for ya. You've had a rough night." She tossed a slightly naughty smile to Tara at her little joke. Tara gave her a little smile back.

Angel settled back in the chair and Cordy watched him rub his shoulder as she scarfed down the last of the chicken in the carton. Taking pity on him she limped over to his chair and began to massage his shoulders and arms. "You'd think Mr. Talk Dark And Heals Quickly would be able to handle a night with little ole me," she whispered into his ear.

He grinned and reached up to clasp one of her hands. He brought it to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss on her palm as the smile still stayed firmly fixed on his face. Anya watched the exchange curiously and turned to Xander. "It's nice," she said.

"What?" he asked around a piece of pizza.

"Them," Anya jerked her heads towards the affectionate couple. "It's nice." Her brows rose suggestively. "It makes me want to go home and experience our...niceness."

"Oh. Oh! Um, hey guys, were just gonna...take off...now. Call us in the morning. Let us know how everything turned out. With Buffy and everything," Xander said as he stood up lightly clasping Anya's hand.

Willow came back in the room with a mug of blood and said, "You guys are leaving? It's only...oh, well, one in the morning is a little late. Or early."

"Yeah we're just gonna go home and....Bye." Xander mumbled as he and Anya bustled out the door.

As they door swung closed they heard Anya's disembodied voice, "Only when I say 'nice', what I mean is 'sex'. You got that, right?"

Willow handed the mug to Angel and cast a questioning look to Tara who nodded. "I think we're gonna go to bed, too. The spare bedroom's all made up so we'll see you in the morning," Willow said with a kind smile before she and Tara disappeared up the stairs. Cordy came around the chair and lifted Connor from Angel's arms, settling in his lap.

Angel held Cordy and his son in his arms and felt a deep sense of peace and happiness wash over him. Connor yawned and Cordy's quickly followed. "C'mon, let's go to bed," he whispered in her ear. She stood up, still holding Connor, and smiled. He stood up and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they moved slowly towards the stairs. Neither one had ever been happier.





As they broke through the tress all of Sunnydale lay spread out before them from the high cliff. About twenty feet away Spike was sitting on a boulder perched on the edge. As she watched he leaned back and chucked a half-empty bottle at the sky. It arced high, twirling end over end, and it was a moment before she heard the faint sound of it crashing far below.

"Spike."

His back stiffened at her breathy voice and he didn't turn around.

She turned to her sister. "Dawn..."

"Yeah, I'll be right over here," Dawn said quickly, understanding the supplication in Buffy's voice.

Buffy closed the distance between them quickly. "Spike, I thought I made myself clear at the house. There is no Angel and me. There's only you and me."

"You mean you didn't sleep with the love of your life and get your happily ever afer," Spike said softly, sarcasm dripping from his deceptively controlled voice.

"Spike, you were wrong when you said Angel and I would go on shagging and fighting forever. But you might have been right to say that I'm love's bitch just as much as you are. Because no matter how much I rationalize and doubt I can't help loving you. And I did not sleep with Angel tonight. I wouldn't betray you like that. But that brings up another question. I need to know. Can I trust you? The chip..."

Spike pushed to his feet and jumped down from the rock to face her. "You fill me up inside Buffy. I live for you. You make me live and I suddenly don't care about the world or anyone in it but you. I love you with all that I am, Buffy. I have forever, it seems like. You've seen who I am. What I am. Can you accept that," Spike threw back at her.

"But what you are is evil," Buffy said as tears pushed behind her eyes.

"I wouldn't betray you Buffy. Is that enough?" Spike asked as he met her eyes earnestly.

She had counted on Spike when Glory had been about to end the world and as she looked into his eyes she knew it hadn't been misplaced. She loved him so much it hurt her heart to think of pushing him away again. Deep down she knew he was evil but deep down she knew he was good too and that his love was stronger and more powerful than anything she'd ever known.

"What if I made you a promise," Spike rasped as he reached into his pocket. He bent to one knee before her and pulled out a little black box. His sensitive hearing caught Dawn's little gasp from the shadows and a little smile curled his lips. "What if I promised to love you, adore you, honor you, and never betray you?" He popped open the little velvet lid and revealed a beautiful ruby ring hugged tight by two diamonds.

"What? Huh?" she sqeaked.

"Marry me, Buffy," he softly commanded as he held her gaze intently.

She stared at the ring for the longest time. Her hand moved towards it involuntarily and she touched the cool, sparkling ruby. She wanted to slip it on her finger and know it's weight. She wanted to forget everything and just fall inot his arms. "But you're evil," she repeated weakly, no conviction in her wobbling voice.

"From your heart, Buffy, from your blood, do you believe that?" he asked with heartfelt sincerity, the intensity of his blue eyes holding her captive in their emotion-filled depths.

She flashed back to him at the bottom of her stairs.

I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man, and that's... Get your stuff. I'll be here.

Look at me! I... LOVE... you. You're all I bloody think about... Dream about... You're in my gut, my throat... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning in you.

'Cuz Buffy -- the other, not-so-pleasant Buffy -- anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. Couldn't live, her being that much pain. I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did

Hundred forty-seven days yesterday. Uh... hundred forty-eight today. 'Cept today doesn't count, does it? How long was it for you... where you were?

I did save you. Not when it counted, of course, but... after that. Every night after that. I'd see it all again... do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways... Every night I save you.

"No....I don't....Spike. I want you," she began breathlessly not even sure what she was saying as she fell to her knees before him. "I love you. I need you more than anyone else I've ever been with. You make me feel... complete. The darkness and the light. I trust you...and I will." Even she was surprised at the acceptance that tripped from her lips and a grin spread across her face.

His mouth fell slack, lips gently parted. Everything had flipped on him in the last few minutes. A slow answering grin spread across his face and he wrapped her in his embrace, fusing their mouths together softly. Her eyes fell closed on a sigh and she circled his neck with her arms. Dawn smiled in the shadows.



epilogue to follow (etf)



One more chap to go guys! I'm pretty sure anyways. My muse has a way of popping up and saying "but you forgot, this has to happen" in this story. The next chap is kind of an epilouge, tho. A moonlit ceremony. Will be very sweet. And then maybe I'll devote myself to Magical Toothpaste. I did get an idea for that one the other day while I was on the bus.



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