Worth The Risk

Spoilers: Set right approximately right now in the series so all around spoilers for this season and others past may crop up.

Disclaimer: I think it's quite obvious i don't own them or i would have all you rabid fans, much like me, beating down my door to smother me with gifts and adoration. You can do that anyway if you want, but you can't get Spike. I'm keeping him chained to my bathtub and he's all mine! Ya hear me, ALL MINE!

Feedback/Reviews: Who needs reasons when ya've got heroin. (just a trainspotting quote, i'm only addicted to reviews and Spike)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Buffy and Spike are gonna get together. Ya know they are. And if not, well then, they will here. ;>

Author's note: I thought this would be the last chap but then i was wrong.





Willow fidgeted as Buffy stared at her with big shocked eyes. "Oh my God, Willow," she muttered for the nth time.

"Buffy are you ok?" Willow asked as she lightly gripped her friend's shoulders, knowing how hard this must be for her. Loving Angel had probably been the hardest and easiest thing Buffy had ever done but their lives had changed so much. Maybe not for the good as far as Willow was concerned. Buffy had been so lost and unhappy since she'd come back. So reserved and without emotion, and this strange attatchment she'd formed to Spike couldn't be healthy. Willow wanted to give Buffy this. Snap her out of her daze, get her away from Spike and maybe make up for ripping her out of heaven.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. I guess we should tell them now," Buffy said as her eyes strayed back to Angel holding his baby. That had been a shocker when she'd woken up and Dawn had been safe. They'd traipsed downstairs. Dawn a little out of it and completely starved and Buffy nervously wondering where Spike was. Dawn had headed straight for the kitchen, barely giving anyone a passing glance but Buffy had done a double-take and asked 'Why is Cordelia holding a baby?'

Angel had smiled the toothiest grin she'd ever seen grace his face and said, 'His name is Connor and Cordy is his godmother. He's my son.'

Buffy had opened and closed her mouth a few times as she'd tried to think of anything to say to a physically impossible declaration like that. 'So the laws of physics are bendy now?'

'It was a prophecy,' Angel explained and they all had to smirk a little at that. Prochesies were always wreaking havoc. Came with the job. 'Actually he's mine and Darla's but he's human and she staked herself to save him.'

'Wow,' was all Buffy could muster.

'Yeah," Angel sighed proudly and reached his hands out to take his son from a smiling Cordy.

Buffy snapped herself back to the present as Willow pulled back and said slowly, "Well, actually, there is one thing that I should probably tell you first."

Buffy said nothing and watched her nervously fidegeting friend warily.

"I figured out how to fix the spell so he doesn't lose his soul when he..well, y'know...it will be permanently anchored to him. But the change is in the binding spell itself so he's kind of got to lose his soul first," Willow finished, her face scrunching like she was expecting a needle prick at the doctor's office.

Buffy swallowed audibly and once again could think of nothing to say.





Spike lay sprawled across his bed with his eyes closed. If he was still the big bad he used to be, pain like this would have driven him on a killing spree that would last for days, weeks, months. No, actually, pain like this would have driven him to seek out a slayer to kill. But those options were long since abandoned. So now he just lay in his crypt and grit his teeth as he swilled back bottle after bottle of bourbon. He hated beasties. Unless they were losing to him in poker. Then they were alright. He brought the bottle to his lips again and let the alcohol burn down his throat to his belly. He was starting to feel a floaty buzz but it just wasn't satisfying him. He slung his legs off the side of the bed and sat up gingerly, putting his hand to his head with a groan. He opened bleary eyes and stumbled to the fridge. He popped open the door and lugged out the big mason jar filled with blood. He chugged it back, this time swiping at the trails of liquid running down his chin and licking them off his fingers. The blood filtered through his limbs with an enervating tingle that almost helped appease the gnawing ache in his gut. But not quite.

He flopped back on the bed and let the memories come. He'd always been love's bitch. A slave to her whims, destined to exist for his girl. He'd written poetry for Cecile. Killed for Dru. Fought by Buffy's side like a lapdog begging for a crumb. But Buffy. His love for her filled him up and bound him to her. Forever. He'd always be hers. Sod the world.

He turned his head and looked at the ring sitting on his new bedside table. A diamond would probably be more traditional, and he didn't doubt she'd love a diamond, but that ring had history for them. They'd been engaged under Willow's spell with that ring and there was something about the darkness and death of it with the rubies set in the eyes of the stlyzied skull winking in the flickering candleglow that spoke to some part of him. To some part of Buffy, too, he was sure. He rolled his head back and stared at the ceiling as an image of Dru pounded in his brain. That ring had spoken to something in his dark queen when she'd spotted it in a window. 'For you, Spike. Death looks good on you,' she'd whispered in his ear.

He shut his eyes tight, trying to drive out the image. No, he couldn't give that to Buffy. He was a different man for her, these days. She needed something new and sparkling like her beauty. He almost groaned at his own sentimental poetry. God, that girl did crazy things to him.





Willow walked into the room and cleared her throat to get everyone's attention. Buffy trailed at her heels and tried to look anywhere but at Angel. "I have a big kind of scary anouncement to make," Willow said with a smile that belied the words. She looked Angel in the eye and drew in a deep breath. "I can redo the spell that gives you your soul without a happy clause."

Neither Angel nor Cordy reacted for a moment but Xander and Giles both stiffened as memories of Angelus slammed back to them. Anya only looked around at everyone curiously, wondering what kind of fireworks she was going to see. Angel stood up slowly, a hopeful gleam in his deep-set brown eyes and said, "You can do that? You can make sure I'll never turn evil agian?"

"Hopefully, yeah, or at least Angelus will never come back," Willow joked awkwardly trying to ease some of the tension from the moment.

"Well let's do it! Cordy hold the baby," Angel exclaimed gleefully, shifting the baby into Cordy's arms hurriedly befor splaying his wide and smiling broadly.

"Um, not that easy," Willow said, looking around the room again, knowing no one was going to like the next bit of news, "In order to do it I have to _re_bind your soul which means you have to lose it first."

Angel thudded back down onto the couch dejectedly as everyone in the room turned to stare at Buffy, the girl who could make him lose his soul with one carnal act. "Oh.." he said before slowly lifting his eyes to Buffy's. He stood without saying a word and strode out the front door. Cordelia, for once silent, stood and quickly followed him.

"Angel! You have to do this," Cordy said passionately as they stood alone in Buffy's moonlit yard.

"I want to. But I can't," Angel said and Cordy just wanted to wrap her arms around him at the pain she saw in his eyes. "It's too big of a risk. What if it doesn't work and I'm not there for Connor. What if they can't control me and I hurt someone. Hurt Connor or you."

"Angel," Cordelia commanded, "Willow cursed you with a soul before. If this way doesn't work, she'll do it the old way. We'll take precautions this time to keep Angelus under control and Buffy will be there. Plus Willow's freaky powerful and if she says she can do this I think she can." As she finished Angel stopped pacing and looked down at the ground with his hands loosely on his hips. Cordelia stepped close to him and looked up into his eyes. "It's worth the risk," she said softly.



TBC

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