EXT. LINK'S HOUSE - MORNING

                                    JAKE (V.O.)
                         Once upon a time...



               INT. LINK'S ROOM - AFTERNOON

               LINK is asleep in his bed. As JAKE says the words "Daniel
               Linker," the words appear on screen, accompanied by a ding.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         There was a young man named Daniel
                         Linker. For many years, Daniel
                         lived an ordinary life.



               INT. LINK'S LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

               Link sits on the couch, pointing a remote at the TV on the
               other side of the room. He flicks the channels up repeatedly,
               clearly uninterested.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         He watched ordinary TV...



               INT. LINK'S DINING ROOM - AFTERNOON

               Link sits at the head of the dinner table. There are three or
               four guests wearing cheesy birthday hats, and there is a cake
               on the table with several lit birthday candles. Link blows
               them out.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         Held ordinary parties...



               INT. LINK'S ROOM - EVENING

               Link lays on the floor, doing homework.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         And did ordinary homework. Let's
                         face it, the guy didn't have an
                         interesting bone in his body. Look
                         at him. Sitting there, doing his
                         homework... he makes me sick. Well,
                         fortunately for Daniel, an
                         invention came along that changed
                         the course of his life forever.

               Close-up of a Super Nintendo being dropped on the carpet in
               Link's room. Freeze frame as it hits the ground.
               The words "Super Nintendo" appear on the screen as Jake says
               them, accompanied by a ding.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         Daniel discovered the Super
                         Nintendo. And it wasn't long before
                         he had changed from ordinary into
                         something more.



               INT. LINK'S LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

               Link sits on the couch, with the SNES controller in his hand.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         His ordinary TV became a portal
                         into new and different worlds.

               Dissolve into Link, Jake, and two others holding XBOX
               controllers.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         His ordinary parties became LAN
                         parties.

               We see several other kids on the floor nearby, doing
               homework.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         And his ordinary homework was done
                         by the ordinary neighbor kids for
                         five bucks a pop. And all the
                         while, Daniel became a video game
                         connoisseur. He played RPGs, shoot
                         'em ups, puzzle games, and just
                         about any other game you could
                         possibly think of. But his favorite
                         game of all time...

               Close up of Link putting "Link to the Past" into his SNES,
               then cut back to Link and Jake on the couch. As Jake says it,
               the word "Link" pops up on screen with a ding.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         Was "The Legend of Zelda: A Link to
                         the Past." He loved the game so
                         much, his friends decided to give
                         him a nickname: Link. Well, okay, I
                         gave him the nickname. That's me
                         sitting next to him, there.

               The word "Jake" pops up on screen with a ding.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         I look so awesome.

               With yet another ding, the words "the Awesome" appear under
               "Jake."

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         See, I'm the one who got him hooked
                         on the game. I had met him at one
                         of his LAN parties, and I asked him
                         if he'd ever played Legend of
                         Zelda. He said no, and, well, the
                         rest is history. We used to play it
                         all the time, switching off
                         whenever one of us died. Those
                         truly were the glory days. But they
                         didn't last too long. You see, Link
                         discovered something else that
                         changed the course of his life
                         forever...

               Close-up of a bottle of tequila.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         Booze.

               Ding. "Booze" appears on screen. We see a drunken party going
               on in the living room, while Link sits on the couch.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         The LAN parties became keggers...



               EXT. LINK'S BACKYARD - NIGHT

               There is a bonfire raging, as a group jumps and runs around
               it drunkenly.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         The homework was lost in a tragic
                         accident involving some drunken
                         morons and a bonfire...



               INT. LINK'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

               Close-up of a hand turning the SNES off.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         And the Nintendo was turned off for
                         what seemed to be the last time.

               We see Link putting his arm around SARA.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         Link, leaving behind the world of
                         video games, decided he would
                         someday become a history teacher.
                         He was soon accepted into his
                         college of choice, and he held one
                         of his famous keggers to celebrate.
                         He even found himself a girlfriend,
                         Sara.

               "Sara" appears on screen, with a ding.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         To hear Link tell it, he and Sara
                         were soul mates. But, of course,
                         she didn't stick around very long,
                         once she realized just what kind of
                         guy she was dealing with.

               As Jake says the previous line, Link lets go of Sara and
               drunkenly grabs for another girl's ass. Sara slaps him and
               runs off. Cut to show Link and Jake sitting next to each
               other on the couch.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         Now, I couldn't just sit there
                         while my buddy was in pain. I had
                         to be the good friend. And I was
                         ready to say anything to make this
                         guy feel better.

                                   JAKE
                             (drunk)
                         Don't worry, man, she wasn't good
                         enough for you anyway.

                                   LINK
                             (also drunk)
                         Shit. Thanks, man, but shit. (beat)
                         You remember when we used to just
                         sit around, play Zelda all the
                         time?

                                   JAKE
                         Yeah, man.

                                   LINK
                         I miss that. I mean... who needs
                         chicks, right? When you got- when
                         you got Zelda, you don't need 'em.

                                   JAKE
                         She wasn't good enough for you
                         anyway.

                                   LINK
                         Damn right. (beat) I wish I were
                         Link.

                                   JAKE
                         You are.

                                   LINK
                         No, the real one. I wanna be...
                         fightin' monsters and shit. Savin'
                         the world. That's... that's where I
                         need to be.

                                   JAKE
                         You should, man.

                                   LINK
                         But no, I'm sitting here... drunk
                         off my ass, wishing I wasn't such
                         an idiot.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         Just then, Link had an idea. An
                         idea that would change the course
                         of his life... again. Some say it
                         was the booze talking. Some say he
                         was just rebounding from Sara. But
                         what do they know? I was there. I
                         saw the look in his eyes. And in
                         that moment, he wanted this more
                         than anything else in the world.
                         Who was I to say "no?"

                                   LINK
                         Hey, I got it.

                                   JAKE
                         What?

                                   LINK
                         We do it like a scavenger hunt.

                                   JAKE
                             (tripping over words)
                         Do what like a scavenger hunt?

                                   LINK
                         We'll set it up some day. We...
                         we'll have the town be like the
                         game. Like Zelda. I- I'll- you come
                         wake me up, an- and, we'll- you'll
                         have the place all set up so I'm,
                         like, I'm playing the game.
                         Collecting boomerangs and shit.

                                   JAKE
                         Yeah. That'd be awesome.

                                   LINK
                         We should. We should do it.

                                   JAKE
                         It'd take some work.

                                   LINK
                         Oh, come on, man. You know I'd do
                         it for you.

                                   JAKE
                         Alright. Alright, if you insist,
                         I'll set it all up.

                                   LINK
                         Not now, though.

                                   JAKE
                         What?

                                   LINK
                         You gotta surprise me. I don't
                         wanna see it coming.

                                   JAKE
                             (stunned)
                         Alright, I'll start working on it
                         then.

                                   LINK
                         But not now.

                                   JAKE
                         No, someday.

                                   LINK
                         Yeah.

                                   JAKE
                         When you're least expecting it.

               Link grins.

                                   LINK
                         Thanks, man.

               Link puts his hand out and shakes Jake's hand. Freeze frame
               as their hands meet.

                                   JAKE (V.O.)
                         Historians will come to note this
                         as the worst mistake anyone has
                         ever made.

               The word "DUMBASS" appears in bright flashing colors, along
               with an arrow pointing at Link, as cheesy music plays.

                                                              FADE OUT.

               MUSIC: "Go," The Apples in Stereo

               OPENING CREDITS