Episode Title: Pilot
Original airdate: March 20th, 2003



PAGE UPDATES
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03/23/03 - Title, airdate, cast, recap outlined
03/24/03 - Quotations added


CAST
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Chip: Charles Esten
Band: Dweezil Zappa and Gravy
Jeff Miller: Jeff B. Davis
Mr. Henderson: Tim Conway
Carl: Brian Doyle-Murray
Brenda: Erinn Carter
Monty: Jordan Black
Caramel: Arden Myrin
Fifi: Mindy Sterling
The Professor: Michael Hitchcock
Lance: Lance Barber
Lindsey: Lindsey Stoddart
Lisa Loeb: Herself
Steve Shwarmy: Andy Dick
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EPISODE RECAP
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==========
Chapter 1
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*Line for first scene: "Are those your new teeth?"

Set-up: "Our story begins with Jeff Miller. He's the mail room boy, and
he's just been summoned to the executive offices of his boss, Mr. 
Henderson."

Summary: Mr. Henderson offers Jeff to be an executive. He wants Jeff to
go to a hotel in Los Angeles called The Sun Spot to see if he can fix
it. He talks to Carl, the eccentric hotel manager.

*Carl's eccentric trait: He giggles like a little girl.

Summary: Carl introduces Jeff to the employees: the assistant manager
Brenda, the hotel bartender Monty, and the hotel maid Caramel. Soon
after, Jeff finds Carl in his office, only to realize Carl is dead.
Jeff phones Mr. Henderson to tell him this, so Anderson tells Jeff to
take the place of the dead manager.

=========
Chapter 2
=========

Set-up: "Now, when we last left, Carl had just died; the staff was
broken-hearted. And then they moved on. Mr. Anderson had put Jeff in
charge of the hotel, so off he went to the hotel lounge."

Summary: The scene starts to show one of Fifi and The Professor's
musical acts. After watching it, Jeff thinks it's horrible and that
they should improve their act.

*What they should do to improve their act: Have fly girls.

Summary: Jeff talks to Fifi and The Professor. He recommends adding
fly girls. The two musicians quit. Jeff talks to Brenda; she argues
that the lounge was the only part of the hotel that made any money.
Without Fifi and The Professor, the lounge loses all of its audience.

=========
Chapter 3
=========

Set-up: "Now, when we last left, Jeff was in big trouble because the
hotel stars, Fifi and the Professor, had just quit. So Jeff decided to
hold a series of auditions and try to replace them. Now, we asked this
audience and they came up with a bunch of act name suggestions, and we
put them in this giant comedy patriotic hat. Lance and Lindsey, two of
our cast members, are over there, and they are going to try to perform
these suggestions using whatever props and costumes they can grab
backstage."

*Acts: Kentucky Countdown, The World's Noisiest Mimes, Lisa Loeb.

Summary: Jeff doesn't even think that any of the acts were better than
Fifi and the Professor. Brenda tells Jeff that Mr. Anderson has called,
which worries Jeff. Jeff begs Brenda to help get Fifi and The Professor
back. When asked what would be in it for her, Jeff tells her that he'll
have Anderson make her the manager when he comes if she helps him. Jeff
then sings a song to try to persuade her...

*Style of song: Gangsta Rap

Summary: Brenda agrees to try to get Fifi and the Professor back, so
she calls them. The two get there quickly after the call, because they
live in the hotel. Fifi asks Jeff and Brenda to negotiate with their
agent, Steve Shwarmy. Ultimately, Jeff offers to clear the stars' bar
tabs, and the negotiation is settled.

Set-up: "So, Fifi and the Professor came back. They managed to pack
the lounge and the hotel with guests, just in time for Mr. Henderson's
arrival."

Summary: Mr. Anderson visits, and is clearly impressed. Jeff suggests
that Brenda should be the manager, but Anderson decides that the
permanent manager will be Jeff, and that Brenda will remain as the
assistant manager.

*Moral of the story: Never go to bed angry.

Summary: Fifi and the Professor sing a song about the moral. Jeff and
the others join in as well.
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QUOTATIONS
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Mr. Anderson:
  "Well, because I think you're smart, and you show potential." [ding!]
  "Because I think you show potential, and you're smart."


Mr. Anderson:
  "His name is Carl. That's with a small 'b.'"


Jeff:
  "You can count on me, sir, or my name isn't Jeff Miller." [ding!]
  "You can count on me, sir, or I'm not the president of the Olsen
  Twins fanclub!"


Chip:
  "His favorite pick-up line is..."
Monty:
  "Waffles, anyone?"


Jeff:
  "Great. Yesterday I'm working in a mail room. Today I'm running a
  hotel. This is the worst day of my life." [ding!] "This is the best
  day of my life. This is an average day in my life." [ding!] "Fourth
  floor, women's lingerie."


Brenda:
  "Nice work, genius. This place is deserted."
Jeff:
  "And to make things worse, I think we have a cricket problem."


Jeff:
  "He's gonna fire everybody. Even the crickets are gonna be printing
  out resumés."


Mr. Anderson:
  "I smell a promotion." [ding!] "I smell thunder." [ding!] "You can't
  smell thunder."
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