AUTHOR: Michelle
EMAIL: cordelia1978@juno.com
DISLAIMER: Are you crazy? Do I look like Joss?
COUPLES: B/A, A/C
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: Post-"Spin the Bottle." Buffy stops by to help out with Cordy’s memory retrieval but overhears something she wishes she hadn’t.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Sorry, this is my attempt at bitch-fic. I was so aggravated by the end of this episode that I had to write it down. I’m considering stretching it out into a longer fic if enough people are interested in it. I’ve got a few ideas…
DEDICATION: To Carrie and Pamela, who feel the exact same way about Angel/Cordelia as I do.
1
"Well, it’s been a long night. For everyone," Lorne began. "I hope you’ve all enjoyed my little tale so much you tip your waitresses with obnoxious abandon. Always leave ‘em wanting more, kiddo, that’s the rule. Anyway, I’ve got no more to tell. Applause, applause. I’ve got a sea breeze that’s going to up and leave if I don’t get to her soon. So you kids be good, hug your families while you still can. And stay away from the magic. Trust me."
***
"Cordy!" Angel called as he chased Cordelia into the hallway after she’d ran out of his bedroom.
She turned around, finding it hard to look the vampire in the eyes. "I can’t, Angel. I-I’m sorry."
"You remember." The expression on her face told him everything he needed to know.
"I remember all of it. All of it." Cordelia swallowed the lump in her throat. After weeks of not knowing who she was, the influx of memories – both new and old – was overwhelming. "And I have to be alone. Please. For a while; it-it’s too…I–"
"Cordelia." Angel wanted to comfort her; wanted answers to the questions he’d been asking himself for close to six months. "Were we in love?"
"We were," she told him before running away.
"Oh god," a soft voice muttered from behind him.
Angel felt a pull at his heart; he’d recognize that voice anywhere. And he knew she’d heard it all. Slowly, he turned to face her. "Buffy." He had never seen or heard her approach.
Shock and anger were written all over her pretty face. Also, he could detect disappointment and sadness. "Tell me I didn’t just hear what I think I heard."
"I can explain…"
"I’m sure you have one hell of an explanation," Buffy responded coldly. "You and Cordelia; can you please explain this to me? ‘Cause I think I missed something really big."
The petite blonde was the last person he expected to see, and the last person he wanted to hurt. How could he possibly explain his feelings for Cordelia without hurting her in the process? "I’m sorry, Buffy. I never wanted you to find out like this."
"So it’s true. Are you in love with her?" she asked painfully.
He looked down. It had been so long since he’d seen Buffy; he knew how hard the last few months were for her, and didn’t want to add to it. "Yes. I think I am."
Buffy didn’t say anything for a few moments. She needed to let Angel’s words process. "How long have you felt this way?"
"A long time."
"How long?" she demanded, hot tears burning her eyes.
"Since February."
She took several deep breaths, trying to compose herself. It was all too much to handle all at once. "February…that’s nine months. We *are* talking about February of this year, right?"
"Yeah."
"That means…you lied to me last time we spoke on the phone. Right after you were rescued, you called and told me you were okay. You told me you were thinking about me while you were down there; thinking about our relationship and how much you still love me. At the end of the conversation you said you loved me and you always would. I believed you. But it was a lie, wasn’t it? You weren’t thinking about me; you were thinking about Cordy. The woman you really love."
"I never lied to you, Buffy. I *was* thinking about you, and I *do* love you," Angel tried to explain.
Buffy shook her head. "No. You can’t be in love with two different people at the same time. You have to love one more than the other. Who is it? Me or Cordy?"
Having heard the raised voices in the hallway, Lorne, Fred, Gunn and Wesley walked out of Angel’s bedroom to find out what was going on. "Angel? Is everything okay?" Fred asked.
"Buffy?" Wesley questioned, surprised to see his former Slayer staring down her ex-lover. "What are you doing here?"
"You called Giles," she replied, her eyes never leaving Angel’s. "I decided to come and help with the return of Cordy’s memory. Right now I can’t decide if that was such a good idea after all."
Lorne sensed the hostility radiating from the Slayer. "Maybe we should go, kiddies. Leave these two alone to talk."
The four of them headed for the stairs. "Who is she?" Fred wanted to know.
"Buffy Summers. My former Slayer," Wesley informed her.
"That’s Angel’s ex-girlfriend? Wow."
Gunn raised his eyebrows. "That little girl is true happiness? She’s so young. Man, that guy must really have a thing for tiny blondes."
"You didn’t answer my question, Angel. Who do you love? Me or Cordelia?" Buffy asked again once the four other people were out of earshot.
"I love both of you."
"That’s a cop-out."
"What do you want me to say, Buffy? Do you want me to say you so you’ll feel better? Or Cordy, so you can go back to Sunnydale and hate me for the rest of your life? There’s no easy answer here. You and Cordelia are two different people and I love both of you in different ways."
Buffy had to keep herself from lashing out at him. She wanted to wail on him, pound him into a bloody pulp to let out her anger. But she held back. "I just want the truth. I think I deserve that much. After all we’ve been through, that’s all I want."
"You were my first love, the first woman I was able to love unselfishly. Buffy, you made me feel things I never thought I’d be able to feel; you made me feel like a man for the first time in my life. I wanted to be a better person because that’s what you deserve. But I’m not a man and I could never have been enough for you. I couldn’t give you what you needed."
His words didn’t impress her at all. "I think we covered all of that in the sewers. Remember? The day you broke my heart?"
"I never meant to hurt you. But I did it for you," Angel reiterated. "I’d never be able to make you happy. I told you the reasons."
"Yeah, let’s go over some of the reasons because I think you need a reminder," Buffy spat. Her tears had dried and were replaced with blind anger. "You broke up with me so I could have a normal life. So I could go out in the sunlight, get married, have children, be made love to. Is any of this sounding familiar, Angel?"
He nodded, recalling the day with vivid accuracy. It killed him inside to say those words to her, to let her go like that. "I know what I said."
"I don’t think you do. Why is it that it’s okay for you to leave me for those reasons when you can very well apply them to your relationship with Cordy?"
"This is different," he argued.
"How?" she demanded. "How are the two situations different, Angel? Is Cordelia a vampire? Are you suddenly immune to sunlight? Is the loophole gone from your curse? I’m waiting."
Angel closed his eyes; he didn’t know how to explain to Buffy without hurting her. "It just is different, Buffy. I can’t explain how."
"So let me get this straight. All the reasons you gave me almost four years ago don’t matter today. You’re willing to give Cordy what you denied me. Are you purposely trying to torture me?"
"I didn’t even think about you."
"There’s a shock."
"Cordelia’s not entirely human, not like you. She’s part demon now."
Buffy raised her eyebrows, thoroughly unimpressed by Angel’s statement. "Can’t say I disagree with that. I could have told you she’s part demon six years ago."
"No, not like that. She really *is* part demon. The visions were slowly killing her. The only way to survive was to become demonic."
"Cordy dying…there’s a big loss."
Angel was doing his best to make Buffy understand, but she wasn’t making it easy on him. "You don’t get it. Cordelia sacrificed her humanity to help me."
"What, that makes her Saint Cordelia now?" she retorted. "Don’t expect me to start worshipping her, Angel; it’ll be a cold day in hell before that happens. I have sacrificed every day for the past seven years. I died twice; I sent the man I loved more than anything in this life to hell to save the world. It hasn’t been easy going for me, either. You were there, you saw what I went through when I was called. Or have you conveniently forgotten that, too?"
"I haven’t forgotten. Look, I’m sorry for hurting you."
"Maybe you should have thought about that before. Try thinking about other people for once, or has Cordelia been rubbing off on you in more ways than one? You know, I was under the impression you moving to L.A. was about redemption and saving souls, not getting laid."
"That was uncalled for."
"So is this whole situation!" she shouted. "Tell me how it is that I can believe anything you’ve ever told me when so many things contradict them? You said you loved me and only me; you said I’d always be your girl. But now you’re standing there saying you love Cordy. You also said you couldn’t father children, yet you have a son by Darla. Is there anything else I need to know while we’re here?"
"I’ve never told you anything but the truth," Angel said.
Buffy’s lower lip trembled and she ignored it. The last thing she wanted to do was show any sign of weakness in front of him. "Did you even give any thought as to how this might affect me? I have been to hell and back this past year, between coming back from the grave, my twisted relationship with Spike, dealing with Dawn’s problems, almost getting raped and having to fight my best friend to protect the world. A little consideration might be nice. You could have saved me all of this pain."
"I can’t believe you’re so upset about me and Cordelia given your history with Spike. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black." Angel wasn’t going to let Buffy browbeat him anymore.
"I was confused and completely lost when I got involved with Spike," Buffy stated. "I needed someone and he was there."
"Which is exactly what happened with me and Darla," Angel noted.
"The difference being that Spike didn’t impregnate me." She stopped, taking a deep breath. "Look, this isn’t about me and Spike. The two of us are ancient history."
"Good."
Buffy shook her head, unable to believe what she was hearing from him. "Who are you? Angel, you’ve changed so much since you left Sunnydale, and I hardly recognize you. I find myself preferring the broody, cryptic guy I first met to this version of you."
"People change."
"Yeah, apparently. And not for the better. Tell me, have you slept with Cordy yet?" she wanted to know. ‘Why did I ask him that? I don’t think I want the answer to that question. But it’s too late to take it back.’
"No, I haven’t."
She snorted. "Thank heaven for small favors. If you’re smart, you won’t. If you love her so damn much, you won’t put her at risk by sleeping with her."
"Buffy, what are the chances of me achieving true happiness again? What makes you think it would happen with Cordelia?" he asked her. "Maybe it could only happen with you. That’s why I had to leave, to protect you from me."
Shrugging her shoulders, Buffy blinked. "I don’t know. Nobody knows how this true happiness thing works. All I know is I don’t want to be around if she triggers it. Once a lifetime is my limit. I can’t fight Angelus again. I *won’t*."
"I wouldn’t let it happen," Angel promised. "I’d never put you through that again."
"You don’t know that for sure. We didn’t know what would happen until it was too late. And who’s to say you and Cordelia won’t get caught up in the moment and…and m-m-make love. Things could get out of control and bam – true happiness. Welcome back, Angelus. Well, forget it. Tell your new girlfriend she’s on her own; I want nothing to do with it."
"Buffy–"
"I don’t want to hear any more excuses. Consider us through. I’ll be here if you need my help with a demon or an army or an apocalypse, but don’t try to contact me for anything other than that. We’re not friends, we’ll never be friends. Goodbye, Angel. I hope you and Cordelia make each other happy…or at least as happy as your curse will allow you to be."
Without so much as a look backward, Buffy turned away and walked toward the stairs, leaving behind her one true love.
*** 2
(Six months later)
"I wonder what the big deal is," Buffy mused as she plopped down on the couch in her living room.
Her sixteen-year-old sister shrugged her shoulders, taking a bite out of her chocolate chip cookie. "Don’t know. But it must be pretty big if Giles is flying all the way from England without so much as a hint."
"Do you think he’s okay?" Willow asked, worried. The four months she spent in England over the summer brought her closer to the Watcher than she’d ever been.
"I don’t know, Willow," the Slayer replied. "And that’s what kinda scares me. But I guess we’ll have to wait until he and Xander get back from the airport."
Dawn saw Xander’s car pull into the Summers’ driveway. "We won’t have to wait very long. They’re b-a-a-ack."
After having sat down only a minute before, Buffy stood up to greet the two men when they reached the front door. Upon seeing her Watcher, she embraced him. They hadn’t seen one another in months. "It’s great to see you, Giles."
"The feeling is mutual," he responded. "You’re looking well."
"You, too. You know, it seems like only yesterday that you left for England for the millionth time."
Xander laughed, carrying one of Giles’ bags inside the house. "Yeah, tell me about it. G-Man here is really racking up the frequent flier miles. Hey, with all the cross-continental flights you’ve been taking lately, have you become a charter member of Mile High Club?"
"Of all the people I left behind in Sunnydale, Xander, you are the one I miss the least."
When the three of them entered the living room, Willow and Dawn stood up and smiled hesitantly. Though they were thrilled to see the Englishman, they feared the news he brought with him. "Hiya, Giles," Dawn greeted.
"Dawn. Willow. How are the two of you doing?"
"I’m good. I made the Honor Roll this quarter," the Slayer’s younger sister informed him.
Giles smiled proudly. "Terrific news. And you, Willow. Have things been going well for you since we last saw one another?"
"So far so good. I haven’t fallen off the proverbial wagon. I’ve been following your advice and staying away from magic unless we desperately need it."
"Well, Willow, you may have a chance to use some in the next few days, or possibly weeks."
Buffy eyed him carefully. "What’s going on, Giles? I know you didn’t fly all this way for a simple visit. Something is going down."
"Don’t rush him, Buffy," scolded Dawn. "Let him get settled before bearing the bad news he always manages to have for us."
"Thank you, Dawn," he said. "At least I think. But I have to agree with your sister, we should get right to the point of the visit. We haven’t much time to prepare for what is coming."
"What’s coming?" Willow questioned, sitting back down in her chair. The rest of the people in the room followed suit.
Giles took a deep breath. "I’ve been translating the Scrolls of Aberjian for a friend of mine."
"I have heard of them," Buffy announced. Everyone turned to look at her, as if in shock. "Hey, I happen to know stuff. Wesley mentioned them about two years ago. He was trying to translate them. Big prophecies."
"How big?" Xander asked him.
"*Big* big." Buffy didn’t tell them what Wesley had deciphered in the Scrolls; she tried her best for the better part of six months to put that part of her life behind her, put *him* behind her. "What did you find out?"
Willow tentatively raised her hand as if she were in class, getting ready to ask a question. "Um, why isn’t Wesley doing the translating thing? Has it been overly demonic in L.A. lately?"
Buffy had to stifle a snort at her friend’s question. ‘No, Willow, he’s been busy watching Angel and Cordelia paw at each other like two hormone-driven teenagers.’ She hadn’t told anyone what she found out during her trip to Los Angeles back in November. As far as her friends were concerned she helped with recovering Cordelia’s memory and returned to Sunnydale without incident.
"I spoke with Wesley a few days ago, as a matter of fact. He says demonic activity had been on the rise the past several weeks, then dropped off all of a sudden. Several of his informants warned him of the End of Days. It has begun."
"What has begun?" Dawn asked. "The End of Days?"
He nodded. "Yes. The end of the world."
"Again?" Xander asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.
"This is it. The showdown between good and evil."
"And I repeat. Again?"
Giles was not amused. "This is not a joking matter, Xander. We’re not talking about a simple batter between vampire and Slayer. This is the ultimate fight to the death. The apocalypse."
"The big one. The big fight," Buffy commented.
"Yes. It will be happening very shortly, sooner than anyone imagined. Though according to Wesley, it has been in the works for years."
Willow raised her eyebrows. "Years? How does Wesley know all this stuff and not you? When did he become Book Man?"
"He was told by Angel not long after beginning to work for him. The way he tells it, Angel was attacked by a Mohra demon some years back and had been told by the demon that the End of Days has begun."
Buffy blinked. "Did you say Mohra demon?"
"Yes. They are assassins, trained to kill warriors on the side of good. They need large quantities of salt to survive, and their veins run with the blood of eternity. They regenerate bigger and stronger if not killed properly. The only means of truly killing one is to bring darkness to the thousand eyes. Whatever that means. Why do you ask, Buffy?"
// "That was unreal," Buffy noted after having watched Angel kill the demon who attacked him. It happened so fast she didn’t quite know what to make of it. "How did you know how to kill it?"
"It’s a Mohra demon. I, um, I’ve had a lot of time to catch up on my reading," Angel informed her with a serious look on his face. It wasn’t like he could tell her the truth. \\
"I’ve seen one," she stated.
"A Mohra demon in Sunnydale? That’s unusual."
She shook her head. "No, not in Sunnydale. Remember Thanksgiving of ’99? I went to L.A. and I saw one. It burst into Angel’s old office and he killed it. But I don’t remember it talking about the End of Days. Or talking at all."
Giles looked at her curiously. "You never mentioned it before. How come?"
"It didn’t strike me as important at the time. What was that you said about the blood of eternity?" she wanted to know.
"The Book of Kelsor says the demon has regenerative qualities in its blood. If the demon’s blood mixes with a human’s, the person is given the gift of immortality."
Willow perked up. "Ooh, does that mean if its blood mixes with a vampire’s, the demon’s regenerative capabilities could make it human?"
"It’s possible. I’ve never heard of it happening, however."
The redhead looked at Buffy with a gleam in her eyes. "Wouldn’t that be great if it could happen? Angel could be human."
The Slayer purposely avoided her friend’s gaze. "I guess so."
"Are you okay?"
"I’m fine. I want to hear more about this End of Days thing. Giles, you said it’s going down soon. How soon are we talking here?"
"Soon, I’m afraid. Wesley told me some of the most powerful, deadly demons in the world are in Sunnydale already. And they are waiting."
"For what?" Dawn wanted to know. What Giles was telling them scared her to the core of her very being.
"For the Hellmouth to open. When it does, the battle will begin. Unfortunately, it is simply a matter of time now. We have to wait; prepare."
Xander, unlike the three women in the room, wasn’t phased by Giles’ announcement. "So the Hellmouth is opening again, big deal. It’s opened before and Buffy’s won. She fights the bad guys and we party afterwards."
Giles sighed with annoyance. "The End of Days is like no other battle Buffy has faced. We need as much help in the battle as we can get. Each and every one of you will be needed. I’ve taken the liberty of calling for backup."
"Backup?" Willow repeated.
"Yes. Angel and his associates will be arriving tomorrow after sunset," Giles told all of them. "And they are bringing Faith. I’ve also taken it upon myself to send for Riley and his team."
"Angel’s coming? Why?" demanded Buffy.
Everyone was shocked at the angry tone she’d used in asking her question. "The Scrolls mention the vampire with a soul. Angel plays an important role in the battles," Giles explained.
"I know what the Scrolls say about him. But why does he have to come here to fight? There won’t be battles in L.A.?"
"The End of Days will be taking place in Sunnydale. These powerful demons are flocking to the Hellmouth, not Los Angeles. To fight them, Buffy, you will need assistance. Angel is the only one strong enough to be of any help aside from Faith. The more people we have fighting on our side, the better the chances are for us."
Willow couldn’t understand why Buffy had reacted the way she had. "What’s wrong, Buffy? I’d have thought you’d be thrilled to have Angel fighting by your side again."
Looking out the window to the sunlit street, the Slayer frowned. "Thrilled. I can’t wait."
***
3
Standing in front of his weapons cabinet, Angel debated as to which weapons to bring with him to Sunnydale. Undecided, he picked up two similar devices, holding them out for inspection.
"Gunn, which one would you choose?" he asked his friend’s opinion. "The medieval fighting ax or the Kendehar beheading ax?"
The black man shrugged his shoulders. "What’s the difference? They both do the same thing."
"Yeah, but…"
"No ‘buts’, man. Pick one and get a move on. We’re leaving in ten minutes, with or without you and your fightin’ ax."
Fred came down the stairs carrying two heavy suitcases. "Um, can someone help me out with these things?"
Her boyfriend ran to her side, grabbing one of the bags. "Geez, Fred, I told you to pack light. It’s the Apocalypse, not Club Med," he admonished.
"I did pack light. I’ve got books and other stuff in here. We might need them," she informed him. Looking around, she searched for Gunn’s belongings. "Where are your things?"
Gunn pointed to himself. "I’m wearing everything I’m taking with me. Me and a weapon."
She shook her head. "Angel? Lorne?"
"I’m staying out of battle. No way am I ruining my threads," Lorne explained with a smile on his face.
"Sorry, Fred," Angel began. "I keep a change of clothes at my old place in Sunnydale. Saves room in the car."
The dark-haired woman sighed; the vampire and demon weren’t helping her case at all. "Well, maybe Cordelia and Connor are bringing stuff with them and my suitcases won’t be lonely."
The mention of their names made Angel blanche. "Doubtful, since they aren’t coming with us."
"Why not? I’m sure they’d want to help us."
"I’m sure they would. But I didn’t tell them. They have other things to worry about," Angel said sharply. "Like their unborn child."
Lorne, Fred and Gunn exchanged shocked glances. None of them expected Angel to speak so harshly of his son and his love. "I think we hit a sore spot, ladies and gentleman," Lorne commented.
With a groan, Angel grabbed the Kendehar ax and headed for the exit of the hotel. "I’ll be loading up the car. We’re leaving in five minutes to pick up Faith."
They watched as he left the building. "Poor Angel," Fred said.
"He sounds bitter," Gunn stated. "You can read people, Lorne. He’s bitter, ain’t he?"
"I’d guess so, yeah."
Gunn raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "You guess? Aren’t you supposed to be anagogic or something like that? Read him and tell me if I’m right. The whole Connor/Cordy situation is making him bitter."
"Okay, Gunnboy, let’s get this straight. I read people *when they’re singing*!" Lorne shouted. "In order for me to get into his head, Angelcakes has to sing for me. And while that boy may have many talents, singing is not one of them. My sensitive eardrums can’t withstand another rousing rendition of ‘Mandy’."
"Then how are we going to find out?" Fred wanted to know.
"I don’t know…maybe by asking him."
Gunn shook his head, laughing at the demon. "Nuh-huh, no way. I like my head where it is. Firmly attached to my neck. If I ask, he’ll bite it off."
"Then let me put it to you this way, amigo. How would you feel if the woman you loved slept with your son while you watched it happen from a hundred feet up? And found out six weeks later that said woman is pregnant with your grandchild. You’d be bitter, wouldn’t you?"
"I’d be pissed."
"We have a winner!"
Fred smiled slightly upon thinking of a theory. "Maybe it’ll be good for Angel to get out of L.A. for a little while. Going to Sunnydale might take his mind off his love life."
Lorne nearly laughed at the girl’s naiveté. "I don’t think so, sweetums. This trip is gonna be hell on our favorite vampire. And considering that he spent hundreds of years *in* hell, that’s saying a lot."
"I don’t get it."
"Buffy," Gunn explained in one word.
Fred scrunched her nose. "The girl with the funny name? But Wesley told us they were over, and then when she showed up back in November–"
"Angelpie went into full brood mode," Lorne finished. "Between her and Cordy, I’m surprised he hasn’t staked himself yet. She’s in Sunnydale, and I get the feeling that little girl isn’t going to make our favorite vampire’s life easy."
"He’s over her. Angel’s in love with Cordelia now," the woman argued.
"Be that as it may, Freddie girl, Angel still loves the little blonde cheerleader. I read it."
"In his journal?" Fred asked.
Lorne frowned, shaking his head. "In his mind. The first time he sang for me – that dreadful first time – I saw it all. The whole backstory. What Wesley and Cordelia explained to you about Angel and Buffy’s soap opera romance ain’t even the half of it. Their love could never be duplicated; not even Romeo and Juliet came close. A vampire and a Slayer – forbidden love at its best. Angel still pines for her. If it weren’t for that pesky curse he’d be with her right now. The guy gave up his chance to be with her so he could keep being the hero."
"When? How?"
"A couple years back she stopped by for a visit. They fought a Mohra demon, its blood mixed with his and he became human. Only problem was he couldn’t fight worth a lick. Our boy gave up his one chance at happiness to save his Slayer’s life; so he could help her in this final battle."
Gunn’s mouth fell open. "Damn."
"That is so romantic. What did Buffy say when he told her? I bet she thanked him and called him a hero," Fred said.
"Not exactly. Broodykins never told her. Aside from us, the only people who know the truth are he and Cordy. See, The Powers erased the day so she’d never remember. Angel’s been holding it in for three-and-a-half years."
"Why doesn’t he tell her?"
"He thinks she deserves better than him."
Fred didn’t understand the logic of it. "But if she knew, then she wouldn’t be mad at Angel anymore."
"I wish it were that simple, Fred," Lorne disagreed. "Problem is, Angel gave up his humanity to save Buffy’s life, but moved on to fall in love with Cordelia. That won’t sit well with the Slayer, unfortunately. Cordy and Buffy didn’t exactly see eye-to-eye when they all lived in Sunnydale. I guess you could say they were involved in a love triangle at one point."
"They both wanted to get with Angel?" Gunn assumed.
"Exactly. Buffy won in Sunnydale, but Cordelia proved to be the victor in Los Angeles. All hell is going to break loose when he and the Slayer set foot in the same room."
"Why?" the brown-haired woman wanted to know.
The green-skinned demon looked at them. "’Cause Angelcakes had to make a choice back in November, and he chose Cordy. Now Cordy has broken Angel’s heart after he broke Buffy’s. If he expects one iota of sympathy from the Slayer, he’s in for a rude awakening."
"How the hell do you know all this?" Gunn demanded.
"When I read people, I *read* people," answered Lorne.
"You mean to tell me you extracted all that information from Angel’s head in the span of a three-minute song?"
Lorne grinned. "All that and more. What can I say? I’m good at what I do."
Angel burst into the foyer, not happy to find his three employees standing around talking. "Are you coming with me or not? The sun set twenty minutes ago. We have an apocalypse to thwart, so you don’t have time to chit-chat."
"Don’t get your boxers in a bunch, Angelpie," Lorne said. "We’ll be right out."
"Well hurry up. I told Giles we’d be there by ten and we still haven’t picked up Faith yet," the vampire complained.
As they walked out the door, Gunn rolled his eyes. "I don’t know what’s worse, the prospect of the world ending or an angry vamp about to face his ex-lover."
"Well, it won’t be a boring apocalypse, I can tell you that," Lorne added. "And thus begins the Buffy and Angel Show."
***
4
"Oh god, Buffy," Willow exclaimed. "I cannot believe it. Are you positive?"
The Slayer nodded her head somberly. "A hundred percent positive; absolutely no mistake. I heard it with my own two ears and he didn’t even try to deny it when I called him on it."
Willow wore an expression of utter disgust on her face. "Angel and Cordelia in love…it’s gross is what it is. Ew! How could this happen? When he lived in Sunnydale Angel made it pretty clear he was in now way, shape or form interested in Cordelia."
"Apparently things changed. In a *major* way. Cordelia is a higher being now, whatever that means. The Powers That Be made her part-demon so she could carry the weight of her visions," Buffy explained.
"Cordy is a demon? That’s a funny visual."
"Yeah, tell me about it. So now she’s this angelic being who can do no wrong in Angel’s eyes. Will, you should see her hair. She dyed it blonde! *So* not her color."
Willow couldn’t help but laugh at the mental image. "What is she trying to do, become you?"
"I don’t know. But whatever she’s doing, it’s working because Angel’s infatuated with her. When I confronted him about it in November, he had the gall to say he was still in love with me. What a lie that was."
"I’m sorry, Buffy," the redhead comforted, hugging her best friend. "It must be so hard on you, especially considering the reason why he left Sunnydale to begin with."
Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "Six months later and I still can’t comprehend it. I just have to learn to deal with it. I can’t change the past."
"Are you gonna be okay? You know, seeing him today and all that."
"I’ll be fine. I’m gonna do my best to avoid him; shouldn’t be too hard, what with all the people helping us with the fighting."
The sound of the doorbell chiming interrupted Willow before she could speak. Excited voices traveled up the stairs to Buffy’s bedroom where the two sat. Trying her best not to show it, Buffy paled. She didn’t know if she was ready to face Angel and Cordelia, despite what she told Willow.
"They’re here," she said.
"Ready?"
"Yep. Let’s get this show on the road. The sooner it starts, the sooner it ends."
Standing up, the two of them left the bedroom and headed down the stairs toward the living room where everyone had congregated. Biting her lip, Buffy took a deep breath to prepare herself for what was to come. Instead of seeing the L.A. gang waiting for her, Buffy found Riley and Graham exchanging pleasantries with her friends.
"Hey, guys," she greeted, stepping into the room. ‘Thank god it isn’t Angel.’ "Welcome to Apocalypse Central."
Riley turned around and saw his ex-girlfriend standing only three feet away. He could see she was wearing a forced smile on her lips and an apprehensive expression on her face. Innately, he knew it had nothing to do with the impending battle. "Buffy. It’s great to see you again. It’s been too long."
They tentatively embraced, not quite sure how to react around one another. "Way too long," she agreed. "A year-and-a-half to be exact. Is Sam here?"
He shook his head. "Nope, not that she didn’t want to come. You made a big impression on her, but I made her stay in Argentina."
"How come?"
"She’s pregnant."
"Oh."
"But she sends her love and wanted me to say hello to everyone." Riley paused for a moment. "Look, Buffy, I know things didn’t go exactly the way we planned last time I was in Sunnydale. We didn’t end things on the right note."
Casting a quick glance in Spike’s direction, she frowned. "Not your fault, Riley. But you’ll be happy to know I’ve ended it. That part of my life is over."
"Good to hear."
No sooner had the words left his mouth when the doorbell chimed once again. Exchanging an anxious look with Willow, Buffy’s heart began to pound. There was no mistaking who stood on the front porch this time around.
Dawn ran to the door, eager to greet who was waiting on the other side. She couldn’t wait to see the L.A. gang, especially Angel. The two had always shared a special bond. As soon as she opened the front door, the teenager squealed with delight. "Angel!"
"Hey, Dawn. I can’t believe how tall you’ve gotten," the vampire commented, giving her a tight hug.
"I haven’t seen you since…forever! You haven’t visited in such a long time."
"Sorry. I had a crummy summer," he explained.
"So I heard." She looked at the four people standing behind him, recognizing Faith and Gunn, but not the other two. "Angel, who’s the green guy with the horns?"
Lorne stepped inside, extending his arm toward the girl. "The name’s Lorne, kiddo. I’m from Pylea."
"Is that near the Valley?" she wanted to know, shaking his hand.
He laughed. "A little farther away. It’s another dimension."
"Cool. Come on in, guys." When Fred walked through the door, Dawn glared at the mousy girl. "You’re human, right?"
Fred nodded her head, giggling nervously. "Yep, I’m all human. I’m Winifred Burkle, but you can call me Fred."
"Okay. I’m Dawn."
Everyone gathered in the living room stopped talking when Angel, Faith, Gunn, Fred and Lorne entered the room. Willow scowled at the vampire, Xander tried his best to keep his eyes off Faith, Giles smiled at the newly-arrived reinforcements, Graham inspected them, and Riley watched with interest as Buffy avoided eye contact with her former lover.
Wanting to keep minimum safe distance from Angel, Buffy took a seat on the far end of the couch. Taking a look around the room, she sighed heavily. ‘Spike. Riley. Angel. Talk about uncomfortable positions to be in. If Parker were here I’d have a complete set of ex-lovers.’
"It’s great to see everyone," Giles began. "And as much as I would love to play catch-up with each and every one of you, we haven’t much time for idle chit-chat. We must get immediately down to business. Please have a seat so we may begin."
Each person found someplace to sit, Angel choosing the empty space on the couch next to Buffy. No sooner had he sat down when she slid as far away from him as possible. Her actions didn’t go unnoticed by the vampire, who had hoped to say something to her before Giles started talking.
"As I’m sure you are all aware, the End of Days is beginning shortly. I’ve called all of you here because we need all the help we can get if we hope to win this battle; the more people fighting on our side the better. I know some of you have had your differences, but I hope you can put them aside and fight for the common good.
"The Scrolls of Aberjian state that the Hellmouth shall open, most of you have been fortunate enough to stop that that before, so we’ll need your expertise," Giles said. "Some of you will be out in the front lines, going head-to-head with the demons. Some will help with research or in other forms of defense. Each one of you is important, so don’t think for one second that you’re not.
"I want you to split up into teams of two for a quick patrol tonight."
Riley cleared his throat. "Graham and I did a sweep before we got here. It’s quiet as a mouse out there."
Giles nodded in approval. "Very good. I’d like you to rotate shifts for patrol, at least for tonight. Graham and Riley will patrol for the first three hours, followed by Buffy and Angel, then Faith and Spike. The object is to get as much information out of your enemy about the battles and such before killing them. Bear in mind this isn’t a kamikaze mission. Report back with any vital information. Understood?"
Everyone nodded. Riley and Graham got up from their chairs and grabbed their supplies, ready for patrol. Seeing Angel looking in her direction, Buffy stood and headed for Faith, purposely avoiding him.
"I hope you’re here to help and not cause trouble," the blonde Slayer said to the brunette one.
"Yes. Look, Buffy, I’m sorry about what happened last time," Faith apologized. "I know I can’t change the past, but I’m gonna try to make up for it."
Tossing a quick glance at Angel, Buffy frowned. "You’re right, you can’t change it. No one can. We all have to live with our choices, no matter how selfish they are." She took a deep breath. "Well, I need to unwind before patrol. Anyone else wanna hit the Bronze with me for some R and R?"
***
5
"Buffy, do you really think this is a good time to be partying? I mean, we’ve got the End of Days going on," Willow reminded her best friend as they walked into Sunnydale’s only club. "Dancing at the Bronze is the last thing we should be doing."
The Slayer rolled her green eyes. "You worry too much, Will. This is *exactly* what we should be doing. We need to relax and unwind before the battles begin. You heard Giles, he agrees with me."
"I know what you are doing. You’re trying to keep your mind off Angel."
"I’m trying to keep my mind off the fact that I will be fighting the biggest battle of my life any day now. Saying I’m here because of Angel is giving him entirely too much credit. I just want to relax and unwind. Is that such a crime?" Buffy demanded.
Willow frowned as they found a table to sit at. "Don’t be mad at me. I’m worried about you, that’s all. Not to mention you have patrol with Angel tonight…"
"Yeah, don’t remind me," she said with a groan. "I cannot stress how much I’m not looking forward to that."
"You should have asked Giles to pair you up with someone else."
Buffy nearly laughed at the suggestion. "Who, exactly? Riley, so he can talk about his pregnant wife? Or Spike, who’ll try to slither his way back into my bed again. Graham hates the sight of me; I don’t trust Faith as far as I can throw her, I don’t care how much time she spent in prison. At least with Angel I know what I’m getting myself into. A boat-load of pain and angst, but it beats the alternatives."
"If I ask you a question, do you promise not to bitch-slap me?"
"What?"
"Are you still in love with him?"
Sigh sighed; it wasn’t the question she’d been expecting. And it was one she didn’t have an answer for. "I’m not sure anymore. Do I think about him every single minute of every day like I did back in high school? No. But I think a part of me is always going to be in love with him. And that’s the part that hurts whenever I see him."
"Maybe it’ll be good to talk to Angel about it during patrol. Don’t let things fester."
She looked up, seeing the L.A. gang enter the club. They headed right for their table. "Things have been festering for six months. And I was fine until he walked through my front door. My only saving grace is that Cordelia didn’t join them on the trip here. I probably would have gone postal if she’d come."
A shadow fell over her and she knew who it belonged to, even without seeing the expression on Willow’s face. "Mind if we sit down?" Gunn asked the two of them.
"Sure," Willow told him. She watched as Gunn, Faith, Fred, Lorne and Angel all grabbed empty chairs from nearly tables. It didn’t surprise her that the vampire placed his chair next to Buffy’s.
"Hope you don’t mind we came, Buffy," Angel stated. He’d been hoping to talk to her since he’d arrived in Sunnydale. And he was somewhat hurt when she all but ignored him at the house.
Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "It’s a free country. I’m not your keeper anymore, Angel; you can do whatever you want."
Faith watched the exchange with raised eyebrows. "Am I missing something here?" she wanted to know. The last she’d heard, Buffy and Angel were still close. The tension between them made no sense to her.
"Nope," Buffy answered. "If you’ll all excuse me, I need to move."
The six people at the table watched with interest as Buffy sauntered onto the dance floor and procured herself a dance partner.
// I was naïve, your love was like candy
Artificially sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping
Got caught in your web and I learned how to bleed
I was prey in your bed and devoured completely \\
"Whoa, B," Faith commented as she saw her sister Slayer grind against the poor boy she was dancing with. She’d never seen Buffy act that way before. "What the hell is she doing, trying to make the smoke alarm go off?"
Angel shook his head. "She’s trying to get to me."
"That girl has got some serious moves. It’s gotta be said, Angel, and I mean no disrespect. But your Slayer…well, let’s just say it’s no wonder you lost your soul when you were with her," Gunn noted.
"She’s not normally like this, Gunn. Something is eating at her."
Lorne looked at his friend. "You gonna do anything about it before that boy out there gets the wrong idea and she goes all Jerry Springer on him?"
"You bet I am."
Getting out of his chair, Angel made his way to the center of the dance floor, where Buffy was dancing with the nameless boy. Tapping the dark-haired young man on the shoulder, he scowled at him and wordlessly told him to move away from Buffy. When he did, Angel immediately took his place.
// And it hurts my soul cause I can’t let go all these walls are cavin’ in
I can’t stop my sufferin’
I hate to show that I’ve lost control ‘cause I
I keep goin’ right back to the one thing I need
To walk away from
I need to get away from ya, need to walk away from ya
Get away, walk away, walk away… \\
Buffy didn’t need to be told of her change in dance partners; she could tell by the way he held her it was Angel, even with her back to him. His all-too-familiar embrace made her heart rate spike, as well as her anger. All she wanted to do was get away from him for five minutes, but he wouldn’t let her.
"I know it’s you, Angel," she said, placing her hands over his at her waist. "What are you doing?"
"I’m dancing with you," he replied as if it were that simple. "It’s been a long time. Four years if I’m not mistaken."
"You’re not mistaken."
Angel bent down to whisper in her ear. In doing so, he caught a whiff of her familiar shampoo, toppling him back in time to the first time he ever smelled it. ‘Stop it,’ he told himself. ‘You’re not here to reminisce.’ "I want to talk to you."
"I didn’t come out here to talk."
"Well I did."
// I should have known that I was used for amusement
Couldn’t see through the smoke, it was all an illusion
Now I’ve been lickin’ my wounds, but the venom seeps deeper
We both can seduce but darlin’ you hold me prisoner \\
"I have nothing to say to you."
He had to close his eyes when Buffy thrust her rear end against his groin and rotated her hips. If she was trying to drive him crazy, she was succeeding. "I think that mating ritual you were involved in with that boy said plenty. Were you trying to make me jealous like when you did it with Xander?"
"Is it even possible to make you jealous anymore?" she shot.
"Would I be out here, allowing you to grind your ass against my pelvis, if it weren’t possible?" Angel retorted.
"I don’t know, Angel. I hardly know who you are these days."
// Oh I’m about to break, I can’t stop this ache
I’m addicted to your allure, and I’m fiendin’ for a cure
Every step I take leads to one mistake
I keep goin’ right back to the one thing that I need
I’m about to break and I can’t stop this ache, getting nothing in return
What did I do to deserve the pain of this slow burn
And everywhere I turn I keep goin’ right back to the one thing that I need
To walk away from
I need to walk away from ya, need to walk away from ya
Get away, walk away, walk away… \\
"He has some major willpower," Gunn commented, never taking his eyes off the couple on the dance floor. "I don’t know how he does it. I’d be ready to pop like a bottle of champagne if she was all over me like that."
"It’s called years of practice," Faith informed him. "You are looking at the king and queen of unresolved sexual tension."
Fred sat flabbergasted at Buffy and Angel’s dance. "Talk about kerumption."
"Huh?" Willow asked her. "What’s kerumption?"
Lorne pointed to the dancing couple. "They are the embodiment of kerumption."
// Every time I try to grasp for air, I am smothered in despair, it’s never over, over
Seems I’ll never wake from this nightmare, I let out a silent pray
Let it be over, over
Inside I’m screaming, begging, pleading no more
Now what to do, my heart has been bruised, so sad but it’s true
Each beat reminds me of you \\
"You know me, Buffy," he said to her softly, his voice barely above a whisper in her ear. "You know me better than anyone else."
"Even your precious, saintly Cordelia?"
Angel took an unnecessary breath. "I didn’t come here to talk about her. In fact, she’s the last person I want to talk about right now."
"Why not? Now is as good a time as any."
"Not here."
Turning around, Buffy looked him in the eye for the first time since his arrival in Sunnydale. With her pointer finger, she traced a line from his chin down the front of his shirt. She slid both hands to the hem of his untucked shirt and slipped them underneath, feeling the cold skin of his chest. "Where would you prefer to talk about it?"
"Certainly not here. I don’t like an audience."
She smirked. "Could have fooled me. You seem to be enjoying yourself," Buffy said, casting her eyes downward. "But it begs the question, are you thinking about me or her?"
Not saying another word to him, she walked off the dance floor and right out the exit of the Bronze. Willow, having seen her friend storm out, got up and started to chase after her when Angel came by, shaking his head at her. The redhead knew something had happened between them, and by the look on Angel’s face he wanted to take care of it.
***
"Talk to me, Buffy," Angel practically pleaded, following her the half mile to the nearest cemetery. So far, the Slayer had been unresponsive to his requests.
Letting out an angry sigh, Buffy whirled around. "Can’t you leave me alone? I don’t want to be around you right now."
Angel took a step closer. "You’re mad. That’s not the best state of mind to be in during patrol. Causes mishaps and stupid mistakes."
"Thank you, Giles. I think after seven years I know how to do my job. Why the hell are you following me?"
"We have to patrol together. Remember?"
"Unfortunately. What do you say we patrol separately? I take one end of town and you take the other," the Slayer suggested.
He tried to reach out to her but she backed away from his touch. "I want to talk; try to make things right with you, but you wouldn’t let me at the Bronze. You’re angry and hurt, and you have every right to be."
"Damn straight I do. Do you know why?" She didn’t bother to wait for an answer. "If there was one thing I could always count on, it was your love. Then you go and fall in love with Cordelia. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?"
"I didn’t plan it. The whole thing sorta just happened," Angel explained.
"Whatever. Why did you come to Sunnydale, Angel? Was it to torment me with your new life?"
He eyeballed her. "It’s not like you haven’t done the same thing to me. But that’s not the point. You know why I’m here, Buffy."
Buffy smirked at him, tapping her foot on the grass impatiently. "Oh yeah, that’s right. How could I have forgotten? When this whole End of Days thing is over, you get your shamoo, or whatever it’s called. Well, that explains it. You’ll be a regular Joe and you can go back to Los Angeles and be as happy as you want with your precious Cordelia."
The anger that had festered within her reached a boiling point, and she shook with rage. Angel could see her try to hold it in, but he knew it wouldn’t stay in forever. He had to find a way to let it out before she exploded. "Why not? You got your kicks from Spike, it’s sick just imagining it."
"I wasn’t in my right frame of mind. You know that," she hissed.
Her control was slipping. "Is that what you are blaming it on? I bet you knew from the very beginning how twisted that relationship was. But yet you kept on doing it for months."
Buffy backhanded him. "Screw you. You don’t know what last year was like for me. You were too busy playing daddy with your kid and Cordelia."
‘Finally. Now if she’ll only let it all out, we can really get down to business,’ thought the vampire. "Is that all you got, Buffy? Come on, let it out. You know you want to beat the hell out of me. It’ll make you feel better."
"Don’t tempt me."
"I’m not tempting you. Go for it, I won’t stop you."
Not about to turn down his offer, Buffy swung at him. Her punch caught him square in the jaw, knocking his head to the side. He took another one, this one to his left cheek. Angel did not even try to fight back when she kicked his legs out from under him, and he fell to the ground with a thud. She noticed it as well.
"Why aren’t you fighting back?" she demanded, her face red and tears stinging her eyes.
"Why bother? You need to do this," he answered.
Whipping out her stake, Buffy held it over his heart. Angel only stared at it as she pressed the wooden tip against the material of his shirt. "Aren’t you afraid I’ll use it?"
He shook his head. "You wouldn’t. You couldn’t."
"What makes you think that? I sent you to Hell once. You think I don’t have it in me to dust your sorry ass?"
"No. Not when you need me."
"I saved your life, too, and I can take that gift away just as easily," Buffy threatened.
"It’s not in you, Buffy. You have too much good in you to do it. And you care too much about me to ever kill me for real."
She raised her eyebrows, putting away her stake. "Well, Dr. Phil, what makes you think I still care?"
"The way your heart pounds when I’m near. And the fire in your eyes whenever I mention Cordelia’s name."
Aggravated with herself, and the shift in the conversation, Buffy turned around and walked in the opposite direction, wanting desperately to get away from him.
"I’m not with her!" Angel called after her, standing up. "Cordelia and I aren’t together."
"Why not?" she asked, facing him again. "Is it because of Angelus? ‘Cause I heard about his return earlier this year. Was Cordelia driven away at the prospect of being his object of obsession? Or was she still more concerned about her car than the people around her?"
"She got pregnant."
Buffy’s jaw dropped. "What? You know, for someone who isn’t supposed to be able to father children, you are awfully potent. I find it funny that you’ve had more sex in the last five years than you did in almost an entire century. Me, Dru, Darla and Cordy. And you make comments about the number of guys I’ve slept with."
"I never slept with Cordelia."
"You’d be the first, then. Tell me, exactly how did Cordy get pregnant?" ‘Stupid question, Buffy.’
"It’s not mine. She’s pregnant with…my grandchild."
"Excuse me? You mean to tell me she slept with your kid? Isn’t Connor a little young to be having sex with a twenty-two year old?"
"Apparently not," he muttered unhappily. "A week after you left she told me she loved me, but couldn’t be with me because of what she saw Angelus do to you. She couldn’t live with that kind of responsibility. Less than twenty-four hours later I saw her having sex with my Connor. I couldn’t face her after that, the whole scene was incestuous in my mind, maybe because I imagined her as Connor’s mother. Anyway, in January she announced her pregnancy. I haven’t spoken to either of them in months."
"Hurts, doesn’t it?" she asked, feeling somewhat bad for him. "Knowing that the one you love has moved on."
"It hurt more with you," Angel admitted. "When you came to L.A. and rubbed Riley in my face. That hurt. Cordelia betrayed me, but never broke my heart. You, Buffy, are the only woman with the power to do that."
***
6
After their confrontation during patrol the night everyone arrived, Buffy and Angel avoided one another like the plague. They did not speak to each other or look in the other’s eyes. Awkward uncomfortableness kept them as far away from one another as possible. If anyone in their respective groups noticed, they didn’t mention it. The only person who commented on it was Riley, but Buffy told him everything was fine.
A week passed by before they had a solid lead on the happenings for the End of Days. Faith and Spike – who had become quite cozy since their first official meeting – found out during their sweep of the cemeteries that the demons and vampires in town were setting up shop at the high school.
"Right on the Hellmouth. There’s a big shock," Xander commented with sarcastic undertones. "Lemme guess, they’re centering in the principal’s office."
"Probably, since that’s where the Hellmouth will open," Buffy stated.
Willow made a sorrowful face. "Does anybody else miss the good old days when the Hellmouth would open up in the library? It seemed so much roomier. Lot’s of space to kick demon ass. Somehow the principal’s office seems so cramped and crowded. Not to mention we had all of our weapons right in the library."
"I don’t think we need to worry about the size of the office too much, Willow," Angel told her. "Once it opens, the walls in the office will completely disappear. We’ll have plenty of room."
"The vamp we were discussing it with said it’s going down tomorrow night at midnight," Faith informed them. "Everyone’s congregating in the basement before heading upstairs for the grand re-opening of the Hellmouth. I’m sure Spike and I could have gotten more out of him if he hadn’t made me mad enough to stake him."
Giles smiled at his former charge. He could not believe how much she’d changed during her three years in prison. "You did fine, Faith. You obtained more information than we had to work with before."
"What’s the plan?" Riley wanted to know.
"We hit ‘em at sunset," Buffy stated matter-of-factly.
"Why sunset?" questioned Angel. "Wouldn’t it make more sense if we get them during the day? They’ll never see it coming. And if there are a lot of vamps there, they can’t exactly go anywhere."
The Slayer glared at his suggestion. She’d never heard him come up with something so asinine. "Sure, it’s a terrific idea, Angel. Attack them in the middle of the day. And where exactly do you plan on being during all of this? Oh yeah, that’s right, you’ll be a crispy critter."
"Sewers," he suggested.
Giles shook his head. "Unfortunately not. When they built the new high school they didn’t include any sewer access. Security measure, I suppose. We go with Buffy’s plan. Sunset."
***
"Everyone knows what they need to do, right?" Buffy asked as the group gathered at the front entrance of the high school. The sun had set ten minutes earlier and they wasted no time in arriving at the Hellmouth.
"Yep" "Yeah" "Yes" and "Uh-huh" were the answers she received.
"Good. Lorne, Fred and Willow, I want you three to find a safe room to stay in while we’re fighting. When I give you the signal through the walkie-talkie, you begin the protection spell. The rest of you split up and take out as many vamps and/or demons as you can. I don’t want any of you to play the vigilante hero tonight; if you get into trouble, call for backup. I want there to be no fatalities. Especially civilians." Buffy focused her eyes on Xander.
He held up his stake. "Yes, ma’am."
Buffy kicked open the door of the school. "Let’s kick some serious demon ass. Everyone turn on your walkie-talkies and be careful."
The group split up. Lorne, Fred and Willow headed to the second floor to set up their magic stuff, Xander and Gunn accompanying them. Faith and Spike walked down the hall to the basement; Riley and Graham turned in the opposite direction toward the cafeteria. Buffy, Angel, Giles and Wesley – who’d arrived a few hours earlier – made a beeline for Principal Wood’s office.
"It’s awfully quiet in here," Buffy noted, gripping Mr. Pointy in her right hand.
Angel nodded in agreement. "Too quiet. I don’t like it one bit. It smells like a trap."
"What makes you think that, Angel?" Giles asked.
"Very simple. If I were involved in bringing about the end of the world, I’d set a trap for my enemy first. It makes more sense to do that before the battle begins. Get the upper hand."
The Slayer snorted. "You ought to know, Angel. You *are* the expert," she commented, recalling the time when he summoned the demon Acathla.
He ignored her biting words as best he could. It killed him inside to know how much she hated him. Angel promised himself by the time he returned to Los Angeles he’d make things right between himself and Buffy again.
// Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
Would you capture it or just let it slip away? \\
The four of them opened the door to the principal’s office, finding it empty. None of the four were at all shocked at the discovery, but were surprised that the room was twice its normal size. The wall to the east had been torn down.
"Looks like the demons don’t want to be cramped when they fight us," Buffy said.
"Actually, no," a voice from behind them answered. "This way when the Hellmouth opens and swallows you whole, the wall won’t collapse on us. We’re a forward-thinking group."
They turned around, face-to-face with a cadre of vampires. Needless to say, the Slayer wasn’t impressed with her enemies. "Have you thought forward enough to decide where you want me to spread your ashes after I dust you?"
"You will not defeat us, Slayer. We outnumber you ten to one."
"Wanna bet?" she countered.
// His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti
He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready \\
***
"There’s nothing down here except for rats," Faith said to Spike. They had searched every inch of Sunnydale High’s basement.
"For a bunch of demons bringing about the End of Days, you’d think they’d be ready to party. But there’s not a bloody trace of them. Damn slippery bastards."
Faith turned in a full circle, gripping her stake tightly. "This makes no fucking sense. Not a trace of any bloodsuckers anywhere down here. Present company excluded, of course."
"I can smell them. They were here, though. Headed upstairs, I bet."
"The Hellmouth," she deduced. "Right where B, Angel, Wes and Giles are. The damn vamps set a trap for us."
"We have to get up there," Spike said. The thought of Buffy being in grave danger filled him with fear.
As they ran up the stairs, the brown-haired Slayer ripped her walkie-talkie from her belt. "B, are you there? It’s a trap!"
***
// The soul’s escaping, through this hole that is gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a new world order
A normal life is boring, but superstardom’s close to post mortem \\
"No shit, Faith," Buffy mumbled, fending off the two vampires attacking her. She ducked under one’s fist and swung her right leg out to knock the other one to the ground.
Looking around, she tried to locate the other people who’d entered the office with her. Each of them was busy fighting two or three vampires and/or demons. Riley and Graham had joined them a couple minutes earlier, having heard the ruckus of the battle. The person closest to her was Angel, but he was busy pounding four vampires simultaneously.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a group of demons chanting in the corner of the room. ‘Oh god,’ she thought. ‘They’re opening the Hellmouth right now! I have to stop them.’ Not wasting another moment, she staked the two vampires in front of her and ran to the demons, picking up Angel’s discarded sword on the way.
The souled vampire caught sight of Buffy, watching in horror as the ground shook under his feet. The floor opened up only two feet from where Buffy was standing. She fought four demons alone, but he knew she didn’t stand a chance on her own. She needed his help. With the Hellmouth having opened and the snake-like demons slithering out of the cracks in the floor, it was virtually impossible for him to get over there on his own.
Thinking quickly, Angel backed up closer to the opening and held his stake in his hand. Two of the vampires he’d been sparring with ran at him, and he dropped to the ground. They flew over his fallen form, right into the hole in the ground. It took another minute for him to dispose of the last two.
He found Riley on the ground, a blonde vampire leaning over him. Whipping out his stake, Angel dusted the soulless creature before he could harm Buffy’s former lover. "Thanks," Riley said.
"No problem. I need your help," Angel informed him, glancing around to make sure everyone was okay. Seeing Faith and Spike enter the room, he felt secure in leaving them to aid Buffy.
"Should have known you had an ulterior motive."
"As much as I’d love to beat the hell out of you for what you did to Buffy, now is not the best time. She needs my help." He pointed to the other side of the room.
Riley assessed the situation. Angel was right, Buffy was in trouble. "Tell me what you need."
"I need to get over the Hellmouth and get to Buffy before they kill her. Are you going to help me?"
"I’m in. Let’s do it."
// Success is my only mothafuckin’ option, failure’s not
Mom, I love you but this trailer’s got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem’s Lot
So here I go, it’s my shot
Feet fail me not, cuz this may be the only opportunity that I got \\
With Riley’s assistance, Angel catapulted over the Hellmouth, landing only a few feet from the edge. Giving Riley the thumbs-up sign, the vampire ran to Buffy’s side. If Buffy noticed him, she didn’t let him know; she was too busy fighting the Kaldish demon in front of her.
Things weren’t going well for Buffy, even after Angel arrived. She was tired and eager to get this finished. The demon she’d been fighting must have sensed it, because he took the opportunity to gain the upper hand. He took several steps toward her, forcing the Slayer to back up. With one hard punch, he connected with her jaw and sent her flying backward.
When he saw her falling back toward the opening of the Hellmouth, the world seemed to move in slow motion for Angel. He ran to her, shouting her name. But it was too late.
***
7
"How is she doing?" Faith asked Giles.
The Watcher shook his head sadly. "The same, unfortunately. There hasn’t been any change in her condition in three days, which isn’t a very good sign. Buffy hasn’t even woken up."
"Is Dawn taking it all right?"
"She’s in denial about the whole situation. The poor girl refuses to believe Buffy’s seriously hurt. I don’t think she can handle losing her again."
"Niblet doesn’t deserve to go through that kind of pain," Spike added. "It was hard enough the first time around. A second time might just kill her."
Giles frowned. "I know. But right now all we can do is be there for her, and hope and pray for Buffy’s speedy recovery."
"I think Peaches has that part covered."
"He hasn’t left B’s side since he brought her in. Angel hasn’t slept or eaten in three days. That can’t be good for him, being newly human and all that," Faith commented.
"He’s trying to will her back to us. Right now it’s a matter of simply waiting. I highly doubt the Powers would grant him his humanity and then take away his true love."
***
Angel sat in the empty chair to the left of Buffy’s hospital bed, listening to the beeping sounds of the machines hooked up to her. He wanted to cry, to scream, to curse at the Powers That Be for being so cruel to him. Why, after close to seven years of fighting for them, would they give him life and take Buffy’s away? It wasn’t fair.
He took her lifeless hand in his, placing it against his dry lips. "Wake up, Buffy. Please, I’m begging you. I’d give up everything the Powers gave me these past few days just to see your beautiful green eyes looking up at me. And to see your smile. Come on, don’t torture me like this, the last six months have been hard enough. I can’t live without you in my life."
Far away, Buffy heard his voice. It was Angel; she’d recognize his voice anywhere. He sounded broken and battered, as if he had been crying for hours on end. With all the strength she could muster, she muttered his name. "Angel…"
The first thing he thought when he heard her say his name was that his mind had been playing tricks on him. Lack of sleep and food made him think he’d heard her sweet voice. It wasn’t until he saw with his own two eyes her eyelids fluttering that he was truly convinced.
"You’re awake. Oh god, you’re awake." Jumping up, he gently kissed her forehead and ran out the door in search of a doctor. Grabbing the first one he came across, Angel dragged him into the room.
The doctor approached the patient, who was struggling to rip the tubes from her nostrils. "Buffy? Can you say something to me?"
She blinked, trying to focus her eyes on him. "Who are you?"
"I’m Dr. Cruz."
"Like Tom Cruise?"
He laughed. "Almost."
Buffy pulled on the tubes again. She knew she was in the hospital, hooked up to various machines. "Take these things out of me. I want to go home now."
"Soon, but not yet. I understand you don’t like hospitals, Buffy. But it’s going to be a couple of days before you get to go home. We have to make sure there’s no permanent damage."
"I’m fine. I just have a headache."
"Given your head injury, that’s not surprising. I have to ask you some questions, very simple questions. What is your full name?"
"Buffy Anne Summers," she answered. Glancing up, she saw Angel standing next to Dr. Cruz. "Angel."
The former vampire grinned and walked to the side of the bed. "I’m right here, Buffy. What do you need?"
She took a deep, labored breath. "I want you to get out. I don’t want you anywhere near me. Just go back to L.A.."
"You can’t mean that," he argued.
"Go!"
Dr. Cruz took hold of Angel’s arm, pushing him gently toward the door. "I think it would be best if you did leave, young man. We don’t want to agitate her."
Looking forlornly at Buffy, Angel felt his heart break. She wouldn’t even look in his direction. "I’ll be in the waiting room if you need me," he told her.
"I won’t."
Feeling dejected but abiding by her wishes, Angel walked out of her hospital room. He choked back a sob as he headed down the hall. For a moment, he had his love back, only to have her push him away for the upteenth time. Even if he had to spend the rest of his mortal life trying, Angel was determined to win her back.
The group of people sitting in the waiting room saw the sad expression on his face when he entered.
Dawn shuddered against Giles. "Angel? No, no, she’s not gone."
He bent down in front of the teenage girl. "Dawn, she’s fine. She woke up a few minutes ago. The doctor’s in with her right now."
Relieved, she threw her arms around him. "Thank heavens."
"This is wonderful news, of course," Giles began. "But you don’t look very happy, Angel. Is something wrong with her?"
Angel shook his head. "No. As far as I could see, Buffy’s going to be as good as new. Her memory seems to be fine despite the pounding she took. It was fairly evident when she kicked me out of her room."
"She did what?" Faith questioned. "You’ve got to be kidding me. Why the hell would B do that to you of all people?"
"She hates me. Buffy thinks I betrayed her, which I did," he told the group.
"What did you do this time, Dead Boy?" Xander asked.
He took a deep breath. God it felt good to breathe again. "I told her I was in love with Cordelia."
***
"You have no idea how worried everyone has been," Willow told Buffy a day later when she stopped by for a visit. "You were unconscious for three days."
"I didn’t mean to scare everyone," the Slayer apologized. "But from what I’ve heard, you guys did a great job once I was out of commission. We won."
Willow smiled. "Barely. It was hard without you to help us, though. When Angel came in and told us what happened…do you remember what happened?"
"Not really. I was fighting a bunch of demons and the next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital. The doctor told me I hit my head on something."
"Riley helped Angel get over the Hellmouth so he could fight with you. He said it was four against one and he wanted to even up the odds a little bit. Things were going okay for a while until one of them cornered you. You backed up and lost your balance, and fell into the Hellmouth. Angel saw it and jumped in to save you. I wish I knew how he managed to get you out, but he just did. He put you on the ground, killed the rest of the demons himself, and then checked on you. Buffy, you’d smashed your head against the wall of the Hellmouth and you were bleeding profusely. Angel was totally freaked out. After he told the rest of us what happened over the walkie-talkies, he carried you to the emergency room."
Buffy listened carefully to the tale her best friend told. It seemed so unbelievable to her. After all the things she said to Angel, he risked his life to save her. "A-Angel saved m-my life?"
"Yes. He didn’t leave your side for a second when you were unconscious. Not for a single second, Buffy; not to eat, to sleep or even use the bathroom. If you’d have died, I think he would have died, too."
"No. He’d have gone on."
The redhead shook her head. "No way. Did you know…did he tell you he was granted his humanity when the battles were over?"
"He didn’t get a chance to mention it." ‘Probably because I kicked him out before he could spit it out.’
"The PTB came to him the day after he brought you here. Because of his heroic actions during the End of Days they made him human again. Same thing with Spike. But Angel told them that if you didn’t make it he didn’t want to be human."
Buffy looked out the window, seeing the sun shining in the cloudless sky. ‘Is he out there right now? Sunbathing with Cordelia? Or out with Connor shopping for baby things?’ "You know why he didn’t tell me? Because I sent him away, Wills. I told him to go back to Los Angeles."
"Buffy–"
"I didn’t even say thank you."
"You can tell him now. He’s outside in the waiting room. Did you really think he’d leave?" Willow asked.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. When she told Angel to leave, she assumed he’d go without hesitation. "I want to see him. Can you have him come in here, Willow?"
"Sure."
Willow went into the waiting room, seeing Angel staring out the window just as Buffy had been doing only a few minutes earlier. While everyone else had remained at the Summers’ house, he was the only one who had accompanied Willow to Sunnydale General.
"Angel?" she said. He looked up at her expectantly. "She’d like to see you."
"Really?"
"Really really. She’s still tired, though," she warned him.
With renewed hope and faith, Angel headed for Buffy’s room. He couldn’t believe it when Willow said she wanted to see him. Only twenty-four hours earlier the Slayer sent him away. When he reached her room, Angel spied her through the window. Buffy’s head rested against the pillows, her eyes closed.
"Buffy? It’s me," he announced when he walked through the door. "Willow said you wanted to see me."
"Yes. She told me what happened to me."
"I’m glad you’re okay. If something had happened to you–"
"I know," Buffy interrupted. "You were the one who saved my life when I fell into the Hellmouth. I wanted to say thank you."
He glanced down at the floor. "I did what I had to do."
"You could have died trying to get me out of there."
"It was a risk I was willing to take. I couldn’t lose you, Buffy, not after all we’ve been through together. The thought of living in a world without you in it frightened me. I did it once and look where it got me."
"How did you get me out?" she wanted to know.
Angel shrugged his broad shoulders. "I don’t know. I honestly don’t. Something took me over once I grabbed you; it lifted us to the surface. There was a supernatural force; no words I can think of could ever describe it. But if I had to pinpoint it, I’d give credit to the Powers That Be. It wasn’t our time to go."
"Willow also said you got your shanshu. Congratulations are in order, I suppose."
"Thank you."
"I guess now that I’m awake you’ll be returning to L.A.," Buffy surmised. "Truthfully, I am surprised you didn’t go back after what I said to you yesterday."
"I don’t think I’ll be going back there. I don’t have anything hold me there anymore. The lease on the hotel is up next month, so I was giving serious thought to moving back here and living in the mansion again. That is, unless you have a problem with me being here."
She softly shook her head. "You have every right to move back here. The mansion is yours, you don’t need my permission to live there. But what did you mean when you said there’s nothing holding you to L.A.? What about Connor? And Cordelia? And the agency?"
"I’m not going to be any good to the agency if I’m human. Connor doesn’t see me as his father, he never did and I doubt he ever will. I’ve been fighting a losing battle with him since he came here. And as for Cordy…my feelings for her weren’t as strong as I once thought they were. I want to stay here to be near you."
"Near me?"
"Yes. I want to reconnect with you, Buffy."
"I don’t want to be anyone’s second choice, Angel. Especially yours."
"You’re not my second choice, you never were. I realized that over the last four days. Cordelia’s been my second choice, not you. Do you believe I ever would have developed feelings for her if I hadn’t left in 1999? Not in a million years. I didn’t start having fuzzy feelings for her until after you died. Then Connor was born and she became his mother in a way. She took over the role I always pictured you in. Cordelia started acting so much like you that I think I used her as a substitute for you."
Buffy bit her lip, looking into his deep brown eyes. There was regret pouring from them. "That doesn’t change what you said – what I heard – back in November."
"I’m aware of that. Somewhere in the last four years I lost myself. If I move back here, I might be able to find that piece I lost. Maybe you could help me with that."
"I’d love to have you back in my life. The old Angel, not the one I saw six months ago. Everyone changes, and I understand that, but you did a complete one-eighty from the man I fell in love with all those years ago," Buffy told him.
"I’m hoping to remedy that. But I’ll never be the way I used to be when I lived here before. Too much has happened to me since then, and there are some things about myself I won’t change. I’m stronger and more self-confident. I don’t have to rely on you all the time anymore."
"Angel, I’m not expecting you to be brooding cryptic guy again. Just the man I remember."
"Okay."
"This is going to take time. Just because you’re human again, don’t expect me to hop back into your bed for a week-long sexfest. We have to get to know each other again. Be friends. Start slowly and see where it leads."
Angel agreed with her wholeheartedly. "Friends. Sounds good to me. Maybe we can have coffee or something."
"Coffee?" Buffy repeated.
"Or something."
The conversation was reminiscent of one they had toward the beginning of their relationship the first time around. One look at Buffy’s amused expression and Angel knew everything would work out for the best.
THE END