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Race Across New Zealand script

(setting: the Shore Shack where Otto and the gang are getting ready for a delivery to raise tips. The phone rings, then Sam cracks his knuckles)

Raymundo: Three Shack Burgers, two fries, and two chocolate shakes.

Tito: Coming, bruddah.

Raymundo: It's on its way. (hangs up the phone and starts his stopwatch)

(Tito makes the order and puts it in a bag, then tosses it to Reggie)

Tito: Order up!

(Reggie rides away on her bike)

Reggie: Falcon, this is the Sparrow. Come in, Falcon.

Otto: This is the Falcon, over.

Reggie: Address is 562 Seashell Road. And I am en route.

(Otto grinds a rail as the camera flips back to the Shack where Raymundo is getting worried timewise)

Reggie: (through communication helmet) Uh-oh! Condor, do you copy? Condor, do you copy? Twister!

(camera flips to Twister)

Twister: Huh?

Reggie: (through communication helmet) You're the Condor.

Twister: I thought I was the Bald Eagle.

Sam: (through communication helmet) No, I'm the Bald Eagle.

(camera flips back to the Shack)

Sam: You guys, we only have 19 minutes left.

(Sam's computer beeps and as the camera flips back to Reggie, her watch beeps too)

Reggie: Condor, I'll hand you the bag at the corner of Sandstone and 3rd. Do you read?

Twister: Not really. Mostly, I watch TV.

Reggie: Twister!

Twister: What? You asked. (does a kickflip)

(camera flips back to the Shack)

Raymundo: I hope they make it. We promise delivery in 22 minutes or it's free.

Tito: Oh, that's tough, brother. Whose idea was that?

Raymundo: Yours.

Tito: Good idea.

(camera flips back to Reggie where she is handing the bag off to Twister. Lars and his gang come out of a door)

Lars: Hey look, delivery dweebs. Get them!

Reggie: Mayday! Condor is being chased by Cockroach and company and is heading south on Seashell.

(camera flips back to the Shack)

Sam: Copy that, Sparrow. Condor, you'll deliver to the Falcon via mid-air transfer.

(camera flips back to Twister)

Twister: Via what?

Sam: (through communication helmet) Just throw it!

Twister: But I don't see anybody.

Otto: Don't wait for me, Twister. I'll be there.

Twister: But...

Otto: Don't wait for me.

Sam: Now! Now! Now!

(Twister throws the bag as the screen splits into 2 with Lars on one side and Otto on the other. The two jump for the bag, but Otto gets it and Lars and his gang fall over)

Twister: All right! Yeah! Way to go Otto!

(Otto jumps over a couch on his way to 562 Seashell Road. After Otto turns onto Seashell, the camera repeatedly flips between Sam's computer and Otto. When the timer reaches 1, Otto rings the doorbell of 562 Seashell Road. Camera flips back to the Shack)

Sam: Time!

Otto: (through communications helmet) This is Falcon. I am returning with tip money in hand.

Reggie: All right! Way to go Otto!

Twister: All right! Yeah! Way to go Otto!

Sam: Mission accomplished. They're coming home, boys.

Raymundo and Tito: Yes!

(later, after Otto returns)

Sam: $9.25, $9.50, $10, $10.25, $10.50. (types something into his calculator) Hmm. Mm-hmm. Hmm.

Otto: So, do we have enough money or not?

Sam: Well, I counted, I recounted, and I counted again. The numbers don't lie.


Sam: Looks like we're going to New Zealand!

(all cheer)

Otto: All thanks to my awesome catch.

Twister: And my awesome toss.

Reggie: And my unbelievable speed.

Sam: And my incredible genius.

Otto: Okay, whatever. The thing is, we're going!

(all cheer as the Stimpletons come by)

Violet: Oh, what's all the hullabaloo?

Otto: We made enough tips to cover the entry fee for our team in the New Zealand Junior Waikikamukau games!

Merv: The Waikikawhat?

Sam: Waikikamukau. It's a word from the Maori people of New Zealand. It means "out of this world".

Reggie: It's this really cool race where six teams compete in four different extreme sports races and the fastest team wins.

Otto: And the fastest person is crowned Prince Waikikamukau.

Reggie: Or Princess Waikikamukau.

Otto: Dad and Tito competed in the very first race before they had a junior division.

Violet: Oh, sounds exciting.

Raymundo: Closest race I ever ran. (pulls something out of his shirt) Unfortunately I came in second.

Tito: Oh, here we go again.

Raymundo: It was me and Chester McGill, the local favorite.

(camera flips to a flashback)

Raymundo: We traded the lead at least a dozen times on bikes...

(In the flashback, Chester and Raymundo are neck and neck whie Tito eats a vegemite sandwich)

Raymundo: In canoes...

(Raymundo and Chester are still neck and neck while Tito is still eating his vegemite sandwich)

Raymundo: And in the freestyle roller disco.

(Raymundo and Chester are dancing on roller skates to disco music while Tito is still enjoying his vegemite sandwich)

Raymundo: Then came the final leg: downhill skiing, my best event.

(Raymundo and Chester are still neck and neck as they reach a rock formation)

Raymundo: Coming into the Flat Stick Fork, I made my move. I went right, Chester went left.

Chester (in flashback): Cheerio, bud!

(near the end of the race, Raymundo thinks he's about to win until he sees Chester ahead of him)

Raymundo: Huh?

Chester: That was nothing really, but thank you all. Thank you very much.

(a photographer snaps a picture of Chester as the camera flips back to reality)

Raymundo: I'll never forget that day!

Tito: I'll never forget that vegemite sandwich.

Raymundo: I should have won that race! I don't know how he did it, but I know he cheated!

Tito: Eh, win some, lose some. He won, so what? Let it go, bruddah.

Reggie: Don't worry, Dad. We're going to go Down Under and show those dudes how we do things Up Over. Right, guys?

Twister: Yeah. We'll show them.

All: Yeah!

Raymundo: Yeah. Yeah! Those guys won't know what hit them, will they? (throws his memories into the trash, but misses) Well, we're not going to come home empty-handed this time. Right, Otto?

Otto: Not even.

Twister: I hear that.

Violet: Don't worry about the Shore Shack. Merv and I will take care of everything. You just go Down Under and tear it up!

All: Mrs. Stimpleton rules!

(Violet giggles as the movie goes to a commercial break. After the commercials, a plane flies overhead with the Rockets inside on their way to New Zealand)

Sam: See, New Zealand is 20 hours ahead of us, so right now, it's tomorrow morning there.

Twister: So New Zealand is, like, in the future?

Sam: No, they're just in a different time zone.

Twister: So, like, right now already happened in New Zealand?

Sam: No, not exactly. Uh...oh, look, clouds.

Raymundo: Whoa! The race sure has changed since I was in it. Mountain biking, cave rafting, dirtboarding, windsurfing...

Otto: Man, this race is custom-made for me!

Raymundo: You got it, Rocket Boy.

Reggie: You mean custom-made for all of us. Right, guys?

Twister: Yeah, don't leave us hanging.

(all cheer)

Raymundo: Hey, hey, hey, hey, guys, guys! It's great to be excited, but remember, it's not all fun and games. This is the Waikikamukau!

Otto: We know, Dad. Chill.

Raymundo: No, no, no, listen, Otto. You got to be ready, focused. You can never be sure that everybody's going to play fair.

Reggie: We get it, Dad. Relax.

Raymundo: Who's not relaxed? I'm relaxed. I'm very relaxed! Aren't I relaxed, Tito?

(Tito has headphones on, watching a vegemite commercial)

People on commercial: Vegemite, vegemite, we spread it on everything. It always tastes just right. Vegemite, vegemite, yum yum morning, noon, and night.

(Tito pushes a button above his head repeatedly. A flight attendant comes over)

Flight attendant: Yes, can I help you?

Tito: D-do you have vegemite spread on this flight?

Flight attendant: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid the gentleman behind you got the last bit.

(the guy behind Tito takes a bite of vegemite and sings the vegemite song as the plane arrives in New Zealand)

Sam: In the words of the Maori, this place is atah...atah...

guy: Atah hua! Maori for magnificent. And I agree.

Sam: Wow! A real Maori!

guy: Name's Tatupu. I'm the race location coordinator. I make sure you're where you need to be.

Raymundo: Ray Rocket. That's Reggie, my daughter, my boy Otto, and their friends Twister and Sammy.

Tatupu: The Ray Rocket? You're famous around here, mate.

(all silently cheer for Raymundo)

Tatupu: You're the one who lost the very first Waikikamukau.

(the gang stops)

Raymundo: Hey! I didn't lose! I came in second because...

guy: Go on now, Tatupu. Chester McGill, race chairman. And who do we have here?

Tatupu: It's Ray Rocket.

Chester: Roy who?

Raymundo: Ray Rocket. We competed in the first Waikikamukau.

Chester: Hmm...of course. Sorry, mate. Hard to keep track of all the blokes I've beaten over the years. I see you've got a gaggle of strapping young nippers here. All ready to compete?

(all cheer)

Chester: My boy Theodore's got a team, too. That's him there. (points to a kid skating in what looks like a half-pipe made of dirt)

Otto: Come on, dudes. We gotta check this out.

Chester: Rumor has it, Theodore's the favorite to win Prince Waikikamukau.

Raymundo: Well, he'll have to get by my boy Otto first.

Chester: Shouldn't be too hard, Roy. You know what they say, "like father, like son", eh? Cheers.

Raymundo: Yeah! That's right! Like father, like son. Because my son is just like his father.

(Tito groans)

Raymundo: Except Otto's going to win. Not that I lost, but he's not going to lose either. So cheers for that! I guess I told him, huh, Tito?

Tito: Yeah, you sure did, bruddah. You sure did.

(Raymundo growls and throws his hat on the ground as the camera flips to Theodore doing a 540 in the dirt half-pipe)

Theodore: This bloke is crash hot!

Twister: What's up with that dude? He's not that good.

Otto: Yeah, but he thinks he is. Dudes like that are so bogus.

Reggie: Remind you of anyone, Otto?

Chester: (blows his whistle) All right, everyone. Time for the briefing.

(everyone rushes to the briefing tent)

Chester: The race will take us all throughout New Zealand. From the falls of Whangarei to the caves of Waitomo, to the Cook Strait, and finally down to the Southern Alps for a snowboard race around the Flat Stick Fork.

Reggie: Hey, isn't that the same spot where Dad said he got cheated?

Otto: Sure is.

Twister: Dude, how are we going to snowboard? It's summertime!

Sam: Well, actually, we're in the southern hemisphere. It's summertime at home, but it's wintertime here.

Twister: Already? You mean we wasted our whole summer on the plane?

Chester: The team with the fastest combined times in each race will be the winner. And the individual with the most first place finishes overall will be crowned Prince Waikikamukau.


Chester: I stand corrected. See you tomorrow for the first race.

(all cheer)

Twister: Man, we can do it, guys. We can take this thing.

Reggie: No, we will take this thing.

Otto: That crown is as good as mine.

Sam: Tatou humunga!

All: Huh?

Sam: I think in Maori, it means "we rule".

All: Woogie woogie woogie woogie!

(camera flips back to the Shack)

Violet: Here you go. 2 grilled free-range chicken breasts on a bed of romaine lettuce garnished with cilantro and organic red globe grapes.

Lt. Tice: What? I requisitioned one U.S.D.A. grade-A burger and a big tub of fancy curly fries!

Violet: What you ordered was a ticket to the chubby-wubby farm. (giggles) And you will make a happy plate! Do you read me?

Lt. Tice: Ma'am! Yes, ma'am!

(camera flips back to New Zealand where Team Rocket is gearing up for the first race)

Otto: Twist, a little help with the strap?

Twister: Sure thing, Bro Waikikamukau.

(Theodore comes by)

Otto: Hey kook! Watch out!

Theodore: Sorry, mate. Didn't see you there. Theodore McGill.

Otto: Otto Rocket.

Theodore: Oh yeah. Your dad lost to my dad in the very first race. He's famous around here.

(Team McGill laughs)

Twister: Yeah? Well Otto's going to be famous for beating you and your team.

Theodore: I see you got yourself a good mug.

Twister: That's right! I'm a good mug! I'm a great mug! I'm the best mug Otto's ever had!

Sam: Uh, Twister, in New Zealand, "mug" means "shoobie".

Twister: Oh.

Otto: Dude, by the time this race is over, you'll be so Down Under you won't know which way is up.

Theodore: American trash-talking. I love it. Well, see you at the finish line. (rides away) I'll be the one wearing the crown!

Reggie: Only if I let you borrow it!

Twister: Dude, I called myself a shoobie!

Reggie: Forget it, Twist. We got a race to run. Sammy, what's the plan?

Sam: (pulls a map out of his bag) Okay, the mountain bike course is pretty simple. Except for this hairpin turn here, the Hapu Hairpin. It's tight, so if you come around it too fast, you'll beef. Got it?

All: Got it.

Tatupu: Keora! You tamariki ready for the race? Follow me.

Sam: But doesn't the race start here?

Tatupu: No, we got a ehara tonga for you. A little surprise to keep it interesting. Race doesn't start here. It starts up there with the zorbs.

(the screen shows a bunch of giant orbs as the movie goes to a commercial. After the commercials, the teams gear up for the race)

Tatupu: Zorbs are like big plastic bubbles. So moving is simple. Lean forward and roll. When you reach the bottom, you'll exit your zorb and continue the race on your bikes. Questions?

Sam: Yes. Are there medical professionals at the bottom of the hill?

Otto: Come on, Squid, don't be such a squid. It'll be a blast.

Tatupu: Squid?! Tawiki.

Sam: Huh?

Tatupu: Tawiki, the giant squid. The most powerful creature in all of New Zealand.

Sam: Really?

Tatupu: Here. This is the club of Chief Kupe, the only Maori bold enough to battle the giant squid. It will give you power and confidence.

Sam: Cool! Thanks, Tatupu. Tawiki, the big squid. That's me.

Raymundo: All right, guys. Have fun. This is it, Otto. Time to get serious.

Otto: No problem, Raymundo. This is going to be nothing but Otto from here on out.

Raymundo: Remember, keep your mind on the race.

Otto: Got it.

Raymundo: If you get distracted, you'll fall behind.

Otto: All right, Dad. I got it.

Raymundo: Good. Go get them, Otto. I'll be waiting for you at the finish. (walks away)

Reggie: Uh, Raymundo, I uh...

Tito: Don't worry, Reg. Raymundo is pulling for you too.

Chester: All right, everyone. On your marks...get set...

(Tatupu blows a conch shell and the gang takes off in their zorbs. Bowling For Soup's song "Valentino" starts up as they zorb down the hill)

Otto: Whoa! This is way cool!

Twister: It's like beefing without beefing.

Reggie: This is awesome!

(Sam moans as they reach the bottom of the hill. Otto and Reggie get out of their zorbs first as Twister and Sam hit the bottom of the hill)

Twister: You guys go ahead. I'm going to check on Squid. (walks over to Sam) Can you ride?

Sam: (moans) I think so.

(Otto, Reggie, Theodore, and the others get on their bikes and start the mountain bike race as the camera flips over to Raymundo, Tito, and Chester who are watching the race from afar)

Raymundo: Otto and Theodore are in front. It's close. Got to admit, Theodore's not bad.

Chester: No, he's not, is he? (takes a bite of his sandwich)

Raymundo: Must take after his mother.

Chester: (laughs) Well done, Roy.

Tito: Is that...(sighs) vegemite?

Chester: Mm-hmm. Got it from the buffet table.

Tito: Really?

Chester: Did I mention I got the last bit? (takes the final bite of his sandwich)

(camera flips over to the race as Area 7's song "Individuality" starts up)

Area 7: They always said that you would never be anything. Everything you tried to do was just a waste of time. But you believed you could do anything you wanted to. You made your mind up and you never looked behind. Dont' let them try to tell you how to live your life. Don't let them hold you back. Don't ever change you mind. Individuality, be proud of what you are.

Reggie: Rocket Boy, slow down!

Raymundo: What's he doing out there?

Reggie: You're going to beef!

Area 7: You can be whatever you want to be, but don't change yourself for society.

(Otto jumps off the road as the screen splits into 5 with Raymundo, Tito, Reggie, Twister, and Sam with startled faces. Otto lands back on the road)

Area 7: Don't lose your individuality. (3x)

Raymundo: He's going too fast! He's got to slow down!

Chester: Oh, such a shame he's not going to make it. But that's kids. You can't tell them anything these days.

Sam: You're coming up on the hairpin, Otto. Remember to slow down.

Otto: I can take it, Sammy. I know I can.

(Otto speeds up while Theodore slams on the brakes)

Reggie: It's only the first race, Otto. Don't blow it now.

Sam: Oh man! He's not going to make it!

(Otto heads into the hairpin)

Otto: I'm going to make it.

(Otto leans into the hairpin and hits the side rail. Raymundo, Tito, and Chester gasp as rocks fall off the course)

Reggie: Otto!

(the movie goes to a commercial. After the commercial, the screen shows a replay of Otto's run through the hairpin)

Raymundo: Where's Otto? I can't see him!

(Raymundo sees Otto past the hairpin)

Raymundo: He made it! Ha ha! I knew he could do it!

Theodore: The joker actually made it.

(Otto, Reggie, Twister, Theodore, and the others head for the finish line. Otto wins)

Raymundo: That's the next Prince Waikikamukau they're cheering for.

Chester: Just the first race, Roy. Wouldn't be running around like a box of birds just yet.

Reggie: Way to go, Rocket Boy!

Twister: Theodore was toast.

Sam: Wow. That was lucky, Otto. I thought you were history.

Otto: Dude, that was all skill.

Tito: Way to go, cuzzes!

Raymundo: Otto! What a move! That's the way to do it, son! Great job! Coming around that turn like that! Awesome.

Otto: Nothing to it, Raymundo.

Sam: Check it out, guys. Our combined times put us in first place! Way to go!

All: Woogie woogie woogie woogie!

Tito: You guys really took it to them.

Raymundo: All right, guys. Let's grab our gear and head back to camp.

Twister: I'll get your junk, Otto. You got to be wiped after that.

Otto: Thanks, dude.

Raymundo: Keep it up, Otto, and you'll sweep this whole thing. (walks away with Otto)

Reggie: "Keep it up, Otto"?! What about us?

Tito: He don't mean nothing by it, cuz. He just excited. Everybody did great.

Sam: Yeah. Thanks to you and Twister, our team won the first race.

Reggie: Yeah? Well, it seems the only win Raymundo's interested in is Otto's!

(Chester and Theodore come by)

Chester: Good on ya, mate.

guy: That Otto gave you a great race, eh, Theodore?

Chester: (laughs) Yes, a real good race. Right, son?

Theodore: He sure did, Dad. I never...

Chester: What were you thinking?

Theodore: What do you mean, Dad?

Chester: I want to know what happened out there.

Theodore: Don't throw a wobbly, Dad. He got lucky. That's all. Next race, I'm going to do better. Going to give it heaps.

Chester: Yes, you will. You're a McGill. And McGills have always done whatever it takes to be a winner. Understood?

Theodore: Understood, Dad. Understood.

(later that night, Chester sneaks into the equipment tent and removes all the axle bolts from Team Rocket's bag and puts them all in Team McGill's bag. Then he takes out a wrench and loosens the axle bolt on Otto's dirtboard. Camera flips to the next morning where the gang is riding a bus to their next race)

Twister: The way Otto came around that turn was so rad!

Reggie: Excuse me? We all made the turn, even Sammy.

Twister: Yeah, but did you see the way Otto did it?

Reggie: Yes, I saw it!

Twister: It was rad, wasn't it? I never...

(Twister sees a car pass them by on the right side, then screams)

Sam: What's the matter?

Twister: We're driving on the wrong side of the road!

Sam: Relax, Twist. In New Zealand, they drive on the left.

Twister: Really? So people here think right is left and left is right?

Sam: No, they just...(sighs) Yeah, that's what they think.

Twister: Man, I didn't know living Down Under made you act all backwards.

Reggie: Seems to have that effect on everyone.

Otto: So when I was heading into the turn, I just let go of the brakes and leaned into it.

Tito: Pretty impressive, cuz.

Raymundo: Yeah, it was awesome, Rocket Boy.

(Chester comes by)

Chester: Roy!

Raymundo: Chester! Otto was just telling us about his race-winning turn.

Chester: Oh yeah, splendid move. You won the first race too, if I recall.

Raymundo: That's right. I sure did.

Chester: Well, we all know how that came out in the end, don't we?

Raymundo: Yeah, well this time it's going to be different. No way a McGill is going to win again. We can't let that happen. We just can't.

Tito: Whoa, easy, bruddah. The village of a chief who won't forget the past may as well forget about their future.

Raymundo: Yeah, I see what you mean. Otto! You got to forget about that turn and think about the next race. Because the crown of Waikikamukau is in your future, right, Otto?

Otto: Right, Raymundo.

Tito: Oh, brother.

(the buses arrive at the start of the next race as the movie goes to a commercial. After the commercial, Chester gives the competitors the lowdown on the next race)

Chester: Today's race is a combination of black-water tubing and dirtboarding. First, you'll try to navigate the fastest route through the underground caves of Waitomo. Each team will then have to place all four tubes on the totem poles before continuing the race on dirtboards to the finish line. Have a go, mates.

(Tatupu blows his conch shell marking the start of the race)

Theodore: Wouldn't try anything fancy in here, mates. Caves have a way of separating the blokes from the nippers.

Otto: Thanks, nipper.

(they head into the cave)

Twister: Ah! I'm blind! I can't see!

(Otto turns on Twister's light. Twister sees Otto and screams. Otto turns on his light)

Otto: Chill, dude. It's a cave, remember?

Reggie: Whoa!

Twister: What are those creepy dangly light thingies?

Sam: They're glowworms. Indigenous to these caves.

Otto: Dude, those are the brain-sucking glowworms of New Zealand.

Twister: What?

Otto: They suck your brain and leave your head an empty shell!

Twister: No way.

(a glowworm lands on Twister)

Twister: Aah! Get it off! Get it off!

Reggie: Twister, keep paddling. They're just little worms. They can't suck out your brain.

Twister: You sure? My head feels lighter.

Sam: Guys, we need to pick it up. Row! To the right! To the right!

Otto: You sure?

Sam: Yeah. It's shorter. Plus, the tide is up and the little rapids ahead should give us more speed.

Reggie: I'm game.

Twister: Which way has less glowworms?

Theodore: Ha! Enjoy the scenic route, mates! We'll wait for you at the finish line!

Otto: You'd better be right, Squid.

(Bowling for Soup's song "Valentino" starts up as Team Rocket heads through the fast route. Sam screams)

Sam: I'm the giant squid. I'm the giant squid. I'm the giant squid!

(the gang continues through the caves)

Twister: Sammy, get down!

Sam: What?

Twister: Get down!

Sam: What?

Twister: Duck!

(the gang ducks under a stalactite hanging from the ceiling)

All: All right!

(Team Rocket exits the tunnel and climbs up the totem pole)

Sam: Come on, let's go! We have to work fast if we want to keep out lead!

(Team Rocket climbs up on top of each other)

Twister: Ow! Easy, bro!

Otto: Sorry!

(Reggie climbs up on top of Otto. Sam climbs on top of Reggie. Team McGill is nearing the end of the caves. Twister hands a tube up to the top of the pole)

Sam: I can't reach!

Otto: Well keep trying!

(Sam places the tube on the pole)

Sam: Got it!

Otto: Bring up the next one.

Theodore: Blow me down! They beat us to the poles!

Reggie: Come on, Squid! Hurry!

Sam: I'm going as fast as I can! (places tube #3 on the pole)

(Sam tries to get the final tube on the pole, but it just hooks on top)

Twister: Steady, Sammy! Steady!

(Otto, Reggie and Sam fall over. Team McGill places their third tube over their pole, but Twister gets an idea. He jumps on top of the tubes like a trampoline and places the final tube over the pole)

All: All right, Twister!

(camera flips to Raymundo and Tito)

Tito: There they are! I see them!

Raymundo: (grabs the binoculars) Is Otto out in front?

(Tatupu comes by eating a vegemite sandwich)

Tito: Is that...(sighs) vegemite?

Tatupu: You want a bite, mate?

Tito: Thanks.

(a black bird comes by)

Tito: Come to Tito.

(the bird steals the vegemite sandwich)

Tito: What the? Stop! Thief! (chases after the bird)

Tatupu: Tito, look out for the tree!

Tito: (crashes into the tree) I'm okay.

(as the teams are ready for the dirtboard portion of round 2, Goldfinger's song "99 Red Balloons" starts up. Team Rocket grabs their dirtboards and take off)

Theodore: Come on, mates! They're getting ahead!

Twister: Go, go, go!

(Team Rocket takes off. About 25 seconds into the serpentine race, the wheel on Otto's dirtboard starts to wobble)

Goldfinger: 99 Decision Street. 99 ministers meet. To worry, worry, super-scurry. Call out the troops now in a hurry. This is what we've waited for. This is it, boys. This is war.

Raymundo: (laughs) I see him! You need these? Or can you see that's Otto out in front?

Chester: It only matters at the finish line, my friend.

(Team McGill is ganging up on Sam as the race continues. Meanwhile, Otto and Reggie are still in the lead)

Goldfinger: The war machine, it springs to life. Opens up one eager eye. Focusing it on the sky as 99 red balloons go by.

Raymundo: This has got to be a record time. He's going to make a record time! He's going to make a record time.

Twister: Oh no! Otto, we've got a problem.

Otto: What do you mean "we"? This course has my name written all over it.

Twister: Your wheel. It's loose.

Otto: What?

Twister: Your wheel!

Otto: Oh no!

(the wheel on Otto's dirtboard comes off and he beefs it)

Raymundo: Otto's down!

(the movie goes to a commercial. After the commercial, Reggie stops to see what happened)

Reggie: You all right?

Otto: Reggie, let me use your board.

Reggie: What? No way!

Otto: Come on, Reg! Give me your board! You can wait for Sammy to fix mine.

Reggie: Look, despite what Dad may think, you're not the only person in this race who can win it.

Otto: What's Dad got to do with this?

Reggie: Nothing! Forget it!

(Twister stops for Otto and Reggie)

Twister: What are you guys doing? The race is still on. Let's go, Reg. Sammy will take care of Otto.

Theodore: Enjoying your little tea party?

Otto: Come on, Reg! Give me your board!

Reggie: Got to go, Rocket Boy!

Otto: Reggie!

Raymundo: What is going on out there?

Twister: Here. Take my board. I'll wait for Sammy, okay?

(Sam stops and inspects Otto's board. Team McGill passes him)

Sam: The axle bolt is missing!

Twister: If we all don't finish the race, we'll be disqualified!

Sam: Don't worry. I'll fix it. You get going.

Twister: You sure?

Sam: I'm sure. Now go!

(Twister takes off)

Sam: (gasps) My bolts are missing! Oh. What would Tawiki do? Yeah! Tawiki.

(camera flips over to Otto who is very quickly catching up to the others. Camera flips back to Sam fixing Otto's board. Sam rides Otto's board through the rest of the race. Camera flips to near the end of the race where Theodore and Reggie are duking it out for first place)

Raymundo: Where's Otto?

Chester: You need those? Or can you see that's Theodore out in front?

(Reggie and Theodore are still duking it out. Both cross the finish line at the same time)

Chester: Oh, blast!

(Otto, Twister, Sam, and the others cross the finish line)

Twister: All right, Squid! You made it!

Sam: It was the spirit of Tawiki!

Twister: Way to go, Reg! You rock!

Reggie: Thanks, guys!

Otto: Thanks a lot, Reg! You just cost me a win for Prince Waikikamukau!

Reggie: Hey! Don't blame me because your board busted!

(Otto growls as Raymundo comes by)

Raymundo: Otto, what happened?

Otto: I lost my lead because my lame-o sister wouldn't give me her board.

Reggie: It wasn't my fault!

Sam: His axle bolt fell off and all my spares were missing!

Raymundo: Did you check this before the race?

Otto: Well, I think I did.

Raymundo: You think?! Listen, Otto. I thought we talked about this. You can't leave anything to chance. I mean, we didn't come all this way to lose because a wheel falls off, right?

Otto: Right.

(Raymundo walks away)

Otto: Way to go, Reg! You fully snaked me in the race and now you got Raymundo all tweaked at me!

Twister: Hey Otto! Wait up!

Reggie: What is the deal?! I tied for first and all Raymundo cares about is Otto's wheel! Hello! Did I suddenly become invisible?!

Sam: Well, Reggie, as the ancient Maori would say...

Reggie: Sammy!

Sam: Actually, I prefer my Maori name: Tawiki the giant squid.

Tito: Stop! Thief! (chases the bird that stole his vegemite sandwich)

Tito: Did anyone see a little bird? About this big, had a sandwich in his beak? Huh?

Reggie: AARRRGGHHH!!!!

Tito: What? What did I miss?

(camera flips to the Shack)

Violet: Oh, sorry. New dress code. All gentlemen must wear collared shirts.

Lt. Tice: What? This is government-issue lifeguard apparel!

Violet: Well, that's all very nice, but no collared shirt, no service. If you don't have one, one can be provided for you.

(Lt. Tice grumbles)

Violet: Here we are. Bon appetit! (giggles)

Lt. Tice: Ooh...chiffon.

(camera flips back to New Zealand that night where the gang is watching a tribal dance)

Guy: Ka mate! Ka mate!

All: Ka ora! Ka ora!

Guy: Ka mate! Ka mate!

All: Ka ora! Ka ora! Tenei te tangata puhuruhuru! Nana i tiki wakawhiti we ra! Ka upane! Ka upane! Ka upane! Ka upane whiti te ra! (chanting continues)

Tatupu; This dance is called a haka, a traditional Maori dance celebrating the spirit of competition.

Sam: Cool!

Tatupu: Come on, Tawiki. I'll show you.

(chanting continues as the camera flips to Theodore and Chester)

Theodore: Cracker of a race today, eh, Dad?

Chester: Sure, if you call tying for first a cracker of a race.

Theodore: But Dad, I...

Chester: Windsurfing's tomorrow and those little ocean roaches are bound to be good at it. You just make sure you're better.

Theodore: No worries, Dad. No worries.

(camera flips to Otto and Twister where Twister is roasting marshmallows and Otto is sulking)

Twister: Dude, what's your problem?

Otto: I came in second today. I should have won! I need to win.

Twister: But we're still doing good. Just chill.

Otto: Chill? I'm trying to be Prince Waikikamukau! My sister steals a win from me and I got Raymundo on my back. How can I chill?!

Twister: Where are you going? Don't you want your marshmallow?

(chanting continues as Raymundo walks over to a sulking Reggie)

Raymundo: These guys are awesome, huh?

Reggie: Yeah, I guess.

Raymundo: Listen, Reg. I know why you're upset.

Reggie: You do?

Raymundo: Sure. You're worried about Otto. It's understandable.

Reggie: Uh, Dad...

Raymundo: Look, Otto's just bummed because he fell behind. I think it's good to get a little behind. Make him work harder, you know?

(a Maori walks by Raymundo)

Raymundo: Keora!

Reggie: Dad, I don't care about...

Raymundo: Listen, Reg. You know your brother. He's competitive and he doesn't like to lose.

Reggie: I'm competitive too!

Raymundo: I know and that's good.

(a fire dancer almost runs into Raymundo)

Raymundo: Whoa! It's great that you're worrying about Otto, but he's going to be just fine.

Reggie: (sarcastically) Oh, good. I'm glad Otto's going to be just fine. I feel much better now. Thanks, Dad. Nice talking to you!!

Raymundo: Anytime, Reg. Glad we had this little chat.

(chanting continues while Chester sneaks into the equipment tent and replaces Team Rocket's windsurfing map with the same one except with a sandbar in the wrong place. The movie goes to a commercial. After the commercials, the gang is gearing up for the windsurfing contest)

Sam: Just think, Twister. We're going to be windsurfing in the same waters where Chief Kupe battled the giant squid.

Twister: They have giant squid out there?

Tatupu: This place is tapu, sacred. The Maori believe that if you don't pay your respect to the tapu, something bad will happen.

Twister: Man! Glowworms, giant squids, left is right? Dude, New Zealand is a totally weird place to live!

(camera flips to Otto and Reggie)

Reggie: Listen, Otto. I'm sorry about...

Otto: Look, Reg. Don't worry about it. You don't have to apologize for keeping your board in the dirtboard race.

Reggie: What?!

Otto: It's over, okay? Just forget it.

Reggie: Get a clue, Rocket Boy! I was going to say I was sorry about your wheel. As far a my board goes, I'm not sorry at all!

Otto: Okay, fine, Reg! If that's the way you want to be about it, forget it.

(Otto and Reggie meet with Twister and Sam)

Sam: Before we start, I think we should all observe the tapu and pay homage to Chief Kupe.

Otto: There's no time for that, Squid!

Reggie: Better do what Prince Waikikamukau says, Sammy. Wouldn't want to upset him.

Sam: Okay, these six dots represent the buoys in the water. We're going to have to windsurf around each one. Now, this map says that there's a sandbar just to the left of the 5th buoy, so you got to sail wide or you'll get stuck. Got it?

Twister: Got it, Sammy. All right, dudes! Let's do it!

Otto: I'm not really up for a woogie right now.

Reggie: Me neither.

Sam: Uh, I think a woogie might be disrespectful of the tapu.

(the gang get in postition for the contest. Raymundo is inspecting Otto's gear)

Otto: Raymundo, I already checked it out.

Raymundo: All right. Just want to make sure. Don't want any more wheels coming off.

Otto: Whatever. Let's just race.

Raymundo: That's right. Go get 'em, son. We're all behind you, especially Reg here. We had a good talk last night and she's really pulling for you, right, Reg?

Reggie: (sarcastically) Sure, Dad. I'm really pulling for him.

Raymundo: Okay, guys. Go get 'em!

(Reel Big Fish's song "I'm Cool" starts up as Tatupu blows his conch shell and the windsurfers take off. Otto, Theodore, Reggie, and Twister pass marker #1)

Tito: Looks like they got a fast start, bruddah.

Raymundo: Come on, come on, that's it, Otto!

(Theodore passes marker #3 as Otto heads for marker #5)

Otto: Number 5, time to go wide.

(Otto sails wide and hits a sandbar)

Raymundo: No, no no!

Sam: Sandbar's not supposed to be there.

Theodore: See you found a sandbar!

Reggie: Twister, don't go wide! Follow me!

Raymundo: Otto, get it up! Get it up!

Tito: It's all right, bro. He had a good lead. He can still make good time.

(Reggie and Theodore pass marker #6)

Reggie: Yes!

Tito: Hey bruddah, look! Check out Reg! She's in the lead!

Raymundo: Come on, Otto! You can still do it!

Reggie: Unbelievable! Maybe this will get Raymundo's attention. (stops out in the middle of the race and jumps into the ocean)

(Otto and Theodore are duking it out)

Theodore: Ta-ta, mate!

(Otto crashes into Reggie)

Otto: Reggie!

Raymundo: What is she doing? She blocked Otto!

Tito: I hope she's not hurt.

Theodore: Another McGill win!

Twister: Reg! You okay?

Sam: Oh man, this is not cool. This is so not cool.

(Reggie finishes last)

Twister: Reg! Reggie!

Otto: What is up with you, Reggie? Are you trying to make me lose? I could have won that race!

Twister: Did you cramp up or something?

Sam: It's the tapu, guys! We didn't pay our respects!

Otto: Squid, you're not a Maori, okay? You're just a squid. If it weren't for you, I never would have hit that sandbar!

Reggie: Back off, Otto! it wasn't his fault!

Otto: Oh yeah? Well, thanks to you and Sammy, I've only got one win!

Reggie: Why don't you stop blaming everyone else?

Otto: What? He told me to go wide! And you stopped right in front of me!

Twister: Dude, you still got a chance and the team is still doing okay.

Otto: Twister, don't you get it? I have to win this thing! If I don't win tomorrow, it's over! Man, you're such a...mug!

(Twister gasps in horror as Raymundo and Tito walk over to Reggie)

Raymundo: Reggie! Reg! Hey, are you all right? What happened out there?

Reggie: I don't want to talk about it right now! Everybody just leave me alone!

Raymundo: Reg! Reg!

Tito: Oh brother.

Raymundo: Hey, what's going on with you? Why did you stop out there?

Reggie: Wow! You noticed!

Raymundo: Of course I noticed. Your team lost that race because of you.

Reggie: Since when do you care about the team?

Raymundo: What are you talking about?

Reggie: "Ready to go, Otto? Check your equipment, Otto. Way to go, Otto! Oh, we're all pulling for you, Otto. Especially your sister whose name I can't seem to remember because all I care about is Otto!"

(Reggie slams her door as two birds peck at Raymundo's feet. Camera flips to later that night where Reggie is sitting on a log on the beach all alone. Raymundo comes by)

Raymundo: Anybody sitting there?

Reggie: Nope.

(Raymundo sits next to Reggie, but she scoots away from him)

Raymundo: You know, New Zealand is the first place to see the sunrise.

Reggie: (sarcastically) Oh, fascinating.

Raymundo: I heard you get up. Race doesn't start for a few hours.

Reggie: Don't worry. I'm sure Otto will be on time.

Raymundo: Listen, Reg. What you said about me, you're right. I wanted Otto to...I mean, this whole time, I've been...I've been...

Reggie: Giving all your attention to Otto?

Raymundo: Yeah. But Rocket Girl, I didn't mean to. I mean,'re...amazing and I didn't mean

Reggie: To completely ignore me? (a tear rolls down her face)

Raymundo: Yeah. Yeah. I guess this thing with Chester and me losing and...and "like father, like son", and I know, I was...

Reggie: Using Otto to win the race and get back at Chester?

Raymundo: Yeah...yeah, because you and Otto, you're both...and I could never...I mean, I did, but I didn't mean

Reggie: To play favorites?

Raymundo: Yeah, I didn't mean to play favorites. I'm sorry.

(Reggie hugs Raymundo)

Raymundo: You know, I think you're not the only one who needs to hear that.

Reggie: I think you're right, Dad.

(the movie goes to a commercial. After the commercials, Team Rocket is packing their gear for the final race)

Otto: Can you hand me my boot?

Twister: Get it yourself.

Otto: Fine. (walks over there and steps on Sam's Maori dictionary)

Sam: Hey, watch out! That's my Maori dictionary!

Twister: What did you do that for, dude?

Otto: I didn't do it on purpose. Chill.

Twister: You chill!

Otto: No, you chill!

Twister: No, you!

Reggie: Guys! Guys! Relax! We're a team.

Twister: He called me a mug!

Otto: Get over it. I was just tweaked because Reggie cost me the race.

Twister: It isn't her fault, dude! Why don't you just leave her alone?

Reggie: No, wait, Twister. He's right. It is my fault. I was trying to get back at Raymundo and I blew it for the team and I blew it for you, Otto. I'm sorry, okay?

Otto: Thanks.

Reggie: Listen, guys. We're not just another team out here. We're friends. And that's what makes us better. So if we can't get that back together right now, this whole thing is going to be a bust.

Tatupu: Attention, please. The helicopters will depart for the snowboarding race in 5 minutes.

Reggie: What's it going to be, guys?

Otto: All right. Sammy, I didn't mean to bag on you about the sandbar. And Reg, I'm sorry I harshed on you about the dirtboard and costing me the race. Twist, bro, sorry I called you a mug. You're not a mug. You're my bud.

Reggie: Come on, guys.

Twister: All right. Buds.

Reggie: All right. Good. Friends. Hey Tawiki, got any Maori words of wisdom for us before we head out?

Sam: Actually, I prefer Squid. And I think the traditional woogie would be more appropriate.

Reggie: All right!

All: Woogie woogie woogie woogie!

(the helicopters head for the final snowboard race)

Sam: Okay, guys. Our team is in second place. But the way I figure it, if we can all finish with a good combined time, we could still win.

Reggie: Check it out, Rocket Boy. You could still win Prince Waikikamukau. Theodore's only got 1 and a half wins. You win this race and you'll have 2.

Otto: What about you? You've got half a win. You win and you'll tie for first.

Reggie: As long as the team takes home the win, I'm cool.

Otto: Me too.

Sam: The only thing we need to watch out for is right here. The Flat Stick Fork. Make sure you go right at the rock formation.

(camera flips to Chester and Theodore)

Chester: Make sure you go left at the rock formation.

Theodore: Dad, that's the longer way around.

Chester: Not if you cut through here.

Theodore: That's out of bounds, Dad. That's cheating.

Chester: It's insurance, like the Rocket Boy's wheel coming loose or the windsurfing map with the sandbar in the wrong place.

Theodore: Dad, you fixed those races for me?

Chester: I fixed it for us so the crown of Waikikamukau stays on the head of a McGill where it belongs.

Theodore: But Dad, I want to win the race on my own.

Chester: You're a McGill, and you'll do what McGills have always done. You will go to the left. Yeah?

Theodore: (reluctantly) Yeah.

(camera flips to the Rockets)

Reggie: Hey, Dad.

Raymundo: Hey, Reg. Ready to go?

Reggie: Ready to go, Dad.

Raymundo: Good. Look, Otto, I um...I wanted to say that...the thing is, I...

(Reggie gives Raymundo a thumbs up)

Raymundo: Sorry I put that pressure on you. I know...I want you to do it for you and not for...I mean, you know.

Otto: I get it, Raymundo. Thanks.

Raymundo: Good. You too, Reg. Just...whatever you want, I don't care. I mean I do care...about both of you...equally. It's just like...

Reggie: We get it, Raymundo.

Raymundo: Okay, well. race is going to start soon. So you guys better get going.

Otto: See you later, Raymundo.

Raymundo: Think that went okay?

Tito: Nobody could have done it better, bruddah.

(camera flips to the top of the mountain there the race is about to start. Tatupu blows his conch shell as Area 7's song "Individuality" starts up)

Area 7: They always said that you would never be anything. Everything you tried to do was just a waste of time.

(camera flips to the bottom)

Raymundo: I can't watch! You tell me what's happening, okay?

Tito: Oh man!!

Raymundo: What do you see? What? What?!

Tito: Your binoculars are filthy, bro. You have to clean these lenses every day.

(camera flips back to the competition)

Area 7: Don't let them try to tell you how to live your life. Don't let them hold you back...

Sam: Whoo-hoo! Yeah, baby! You guys are on fire!

Area 7: Individuality. Be proud of what you are. Individuality. Don't let them cut you down. You can be whatever you want to be...

(Otto goes off a jump)

Area 7: But don't change yourself for society.

Reggie: I'll take the high one!

Twister: No, I got it.

Reggie: You sure?

(Reggie and Twister launch off their jumps)

Twister: Yeah!

Reggie: Twister, look out!

(Twister trips over a rock and breaks his knee)

Reggie: Twister!

(camera flips to Otto)

Reggie: (through communication helmet) Oh man!

(Otto goes back to investigate)

Otto: Oh no!

(the movie goes to a commercial. After the commercials, Otto goes back to see what's up with Twister)

Sam: What happened, guys?

Twister: My knee. I'm hurt.

Sam: Oh no! Okay, Sammy, time to step up.

Otto: Are you all right?

Reggie: Can you board?

Twister: I think so. (steps in the snow as his knee crunches) Ow, ow, ow!

Reggie: Theodore's coming!

Twister: Dude, you got to go. You got to win Prince Waikikamukau.

Otto: No way. You're my bud. We're going down together. Reggie, you go.

Reggie: But...

Otto: No, listen. We've all got to finish and I'm the only one who can bring Twister in. You have to go for the team.

(Theodore passes Team Rocket)

Otto: Go, Reg! You can do it!

(Reggie takes off)

Sam: Otto, if Twister's knee is hurt, how's he going to board?

Twister: Sure you can ride fakie?

Otto: Not a problem. Just lean on me, bro, and we're cool.

(Otto and Twister take off. Later, Theodore and Reggie reach the Flat Stick Fork. Theodore goes left and Reggie goes right. Theodore takes the shortcut Chester mentioned while the camera flips back to Otto and Twister nearing the Fork)

Sam: To the right, guys!

Twister: Right! Hey, wait, in New Zealand, right is left, right?

Otto: What?!

Twister: We got to go left, dude. It's right.

Otto: Twister, right is right!

Twister: Right, but here it's left.

Sam: Twister!

(Otto and Twister split up. Twister goes left, Otto goes right)

Otto: Dude! If you beef it, we'll lose!

(Twister starts losing balance and almost beefs it, but Otto grabs Twister at the last second)

Otto: Gotcha!

(meanwhile, Reggie thinks she has it made until she sees Theodore ahead of her)

Reggie: Where did he come from?

Raymundo: Whoa! Check it out! Come on, almost there!

(Theodore and Reggie are duking it out)

Raymundo: Go Reggie!

(Theodore and Reggie tied again as the rest of the snowboarders cross the finish line)

Reggie: Way to go!

Twister: We did it!

Otto: We rock!

Chester: Well done! How does it feel it be the new Prince Waikikamukau?

Theodore: Great, Dad. Just great.

(later, at the awards ceremony)

Chester: And now, the ribbon for this year's winning team, Team Rocket.

(Team Rocket walks up to accet their prize)

Chester: And now, the award for this year's Prince Waikikamukau, with a new record time, goes to Theodore McGill!

(Theodore walks up and gets his prize)

Theodore: Sorry, mates. I can't accept this.

Chester What? Don't be ridiculous. Of course you can accept it. You won.

Theodore: I cheated! I cut away from the race at the Flat Sttick Fork. I took a shortcut through the woods.

Chester: Theodore, what are you doing? That shortcut has been in our family since I took it in the first Waikikamukau and I...

(crowd gasps)

Raymundo: A shortcut! I knew it! I knew I was cheated! Ha ha!

Theodore: Here, mates. This really belongs to you. (gives his Prince Waikikamukau medal to Otto)

Otto and Reggie: What?

Tatupu: Theodore McGill is hereby disqualified. So we have our first tie. The first Prince and Princess of Waikikamukau, Reggie and Otto Rocket! (to Chester) This no longer belongs to you. (removes Chester's Prince Waikikamukau medal and puts it around Raymundo's neck) Now you're going to be even more famous around here, mate.

(Tatupu returns to hand out the rest of the awards)

Tatupu: I present to you the crown of Waikikamukau.

(Otto puts the crown on Reggie's head)

Tito: (breathing excitedly) Oh bro! Vegemite!

Twister: I get it now. You guys lost, but you won. Ray lost a long time ago, but now he wins. Dude, this backwards New Zealand place is rad!

All: Go prince! Go princess! It's your birthday! It's your birthday! Woogie woogie woogie woogie!

(camera flips back to Ocean Shores where Team Rocket is returning)

Sam: Sure am going to miss the land of the long white cloud.

Twister: I'm just glad to be back home where right is right, left is left, summer is summer, and no brain-sucking glowworms.

Reggie: Tomorrow we start training for next year.

Otto: I hear that...mate.

Tito: I can't wait to introduce Ocean Shores to the wonders of vegemite!

Raymundo: And I can't wait to start making some Shore Shack burgers.

(the door to the Shore Shack opens)

Violet: Hello! Welcome back to the Shore Shack!

(Raymundo drops a box of vegemite while Tito takes a bite of his vegemite sandwich. A black bird steals it)

Tito: Stop! Thief!

(the gang laughs)

Tito: Stop! Thief!


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