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Down the Drain script

(setting: the Rockets' backyard where Otto, Twister, and Sam are jumping on a trampoline spying on the Stimpletons)

Sam: (whimpers)

Otto: This can't be happening!

Twister: It's too good to be true!

Sam: What? This is your first time on a trampoline?

Otto: No bro, check it out!

(camera flips over to the Stimpletons)

Merv: Reggie, I'm leaving you in charge, so pay careful attention. This is the most important part of your housesitting responsibilities. Behold the glorious Stimpleton in-ground aquatic recreation center!

Violet: Oh Merv, it's just a pool.

(Otto, Twister, and Sam jump over the hedges into the Stimpletons' backyard)

Merv: The pool is comprised of 16,500 liters of antibacterialized chlorinated water precisely heated to 68-

Otto: Those who are stoked, say "Yeah-hah"!

Twister and Sam: Yeah-hah!

Otto: Pool party, yeah-hah!

(Merv turns toward Otto and Twister)

Merv: (growls) Silence! Exactly why I have extreme reservations about leaving these hooligans in charge of my pool!

Violet: Hooligans? Reggie here will do a wonderful job. (pinches Otto's cheek) You're just like family.

(Twister laughs at Otto and pinches Sam's cheek)

Sam: Ow!

Reggie: Twister, chill.

Merv: Now pay attention! The pool is controlled by this central processing unit, or CPU. It also controls the house lights, the stereo, the air conditioner or AC...

Sam: Wow! It's an ultra-terrabyte with 2 megamil parallel processors!

Merv: (shoves Sam out of the way) Back off, whiz kid!

Violet: Oh Merv, we have to be in Mt. Shasta by noon or you'll be late for your first anger management class.

Merv: Keep your shirt on, woman! If Reggie's going to watch our house for 2 weeks, she has to prepare!

Reggie: I've got everything totally under control, sir.

Otto: Everything's going to be fine. Remember my motto, "Trust in Otto".

Reggie: (pushes Otto out of the way) I've got this totally under control, too.

Violet: And remember, kids. To make your swim time fun complete, wait an hour after you eat.

Reggie, Otto, and Twister: Yes, ma'am. You got it. Whatever you say. Yes, ma'am. You got it.

Sam: If we have to wait an hour, can we eat now?

Merv: And make sure you bathe thoroughly beforehand!

Violet: Let's go, Merv.

Merv: And no shenanigans!

(a screen pops up saying "SEE YA!" on it)

Twister: Dudes, our own private pool!

Otto: You know it, bro! Last one in skates with training wheels!

(Sam glares at Otto)

Otto: No offense, Squid.

(Otto and Twister take off their shirts and get ready to jump in the pool, but Reggie jumps in front of them)

Reggie: Hey! Were you losers in a coma just now? Remember to bathe thoroughly beforehand.

Otto: Reggie!

Twister: Aw, come on!

(a screen pops up saying "PSYCHE!")

(Reggie jumps into the pool while Otto and Twister jump off the diving board on their skateboards and do a 360 into the pool. The water splashes Sam.)

Sam: Oh man, it's cold!

Twister: Just jump in!

Sam: My system! I have to adjust.

Otto and Twister: Jump in, Squid!

(Sam walks into the pool, shivers, and whimpers)

Twister: Otto, why is the water next to the Squid so warm?

Otto: Sammy, you freak! You didn't!

Sam: What? I just jumped in.

Otto: Now I know why Stimpleton called you the "Whiz Kid"!

(Otto and Twister laugh as Twister splashes Sam)

Sam: Knock it off! I didn't do anything!

Reggie: Give him a break, you guys.

Twister: Whoever denied it supplied it.

Sam: (growls and gets out of the pool) You know, if I wanted to, I could flush all the water in this stupid pool down the drain right now. Go ahead, I dare you. Keep making fun of me!


Sam: What?

Otto: Sam, you're a genius!

Sam: I am?

Otto: Empty pool = skateboard paradise!

Reggie: Hold up! If you guys wreck the pool, Stimpleton will go totally nuclear--on me.

Otto: Chill, Reg. The Sam Man's an expert at this stuff.

Reggie: "Chill"?

Otto: Sam, you can do it, right?

Sam: Drain the pool? Let's see. If I can reverse polarity by engaging this pump...(types something into the computer) sure, no problemo.

Reggie: Really?

Sam: As long as you're okay with it, Reg.

Reggie: You'll be able to fill it back up, right?

Sam: Shove that hose into the storm drain, Twist!

Twister: (chuckles) Yes, sir.

(Twister grabs the hose and runs off)

Reggie: Slow down! I don't think you should-

Sam: (interrupts) Don't worry, Reg. What could possibly go wrong?

(Twister puts the hose next to the storm drain and runs back to the Stimpletons' yard)

Twister: Hose in drain, General Squidman!

Sam: Okay, guys. Here goes nothing! (pushes the "Enter" key)

(The water drains from the pool and the hose shoots it into the Rockets' basement)

Reggie: You actually did it!

(Only Otto and Twister's skateboards remain in the now empty pool)

Twister: This is so totally sweet!

Otto: People of Otto, par-tay positions!

(camera flips over to the Shore Shack where Raymundo is sitting around and Tito is sweeping))

Raymundo: Tito, I'm gonna spend the day with the kids. Think you can handle the rush on your own?

Tito: Been training all my life for this, bruddah.

(camera flips back to the Rockets where Otto and the gang are getting ready to party)

Sam: Let there be tunage!

(music starts up)

Twister: Submitted for your approval, the freakish phenomenon known as Air Otto is about to enter the fly-right zone.

(Otto jumps into the empty pool on his skateboard and does some tricks but later catches WAY too much air)

Twister: Oh, the humanity! So much air! So much air! Whoa, too much air! Too much air!

(Otto crashes into the Rockets' trash can. Reggie, Twister, and Sam go see what happened)

Otto: Whoa, that was wicked!

Reggie: What have you done?

Otto: Uh, I did an ollie, a circuit to a McTwist, up a wall, into a boned-out Indy.

(the gang looks into the Rockets' flooded basement)

Twister: Whoa, Raymundo's gonna totally frwak on you, Reg.

Reggie: Me? You put the hose there, you little dork!

(the gang goes into the basement)

Reggie: You turned our basement into an aquarium!!!

Twister: Stop yelling at me! It's the Squid's fault!

Sam: Me? I didn't know!

Reggie: I don't care whose fault! (yells) You guys had better find a way to fix this before Dad-

Raymundo's voice: Hey guys, Dad's home!

Reggie: Home?! Otto, get moving NOW! I'll keep Dad busy.

(Raymundo opens the front door and Reggie opens the basement door at the same time. the 2 doors hit each other)

Reggie: Hey Pops. What are you doing home?

Raymundo: Remember the old rhyme, "When Stimpleton's away, I will use his pool."

(Reggie frantically closes the basement door)

Raymundo: Hey kiddo do me a favor and grab my old surf trunks from the laundry.

Reggie: Sure.

(the basement door opens and Raymundo's "surf trunks" pop out. Otto and the gang rush out)

Raymundo: Sounds like your brother's way ahead of us.

Reggie: Here you go.

Raymundo: I gotta fix that dryer.

(Otto and the gang rush out of the basement and try to fix the pool)

Sam: I hope this works.

(Sam hits "Enter", and a bunch of sprinklers turn on under Twister and Otto)

Otto: Sam!

(The Stimpletons' toothbrushes and toilet paper roll go to their toilet, the toilet flushes, music blasts out of the speakers)

Raymundo: Sounds like Otto and the guys are really having fun. Reminds me of my old pool-hopping days.

Reggie: I never heard about your pool-hopping days.

Raymundo: Yep. (camera flips to a flashback) Me, Tito, and Johnny Loo hopped the fence to the Beverly Hills Hotel and crashed the Swanky pool party. Did a swan dive off the 3-meter board and landed smack on television's favorite maid. (camera flips back to reality) Banned for life. Never did let me back in that hotel.

Reggie: You sure were radical, Pop.

Raymundo: "Were"? You ain't seen nothing yet!

Reggie: Wait, Dad! How about another story?

(Sam finally fixes the pool and the pool fills back up)

Reggie: Uh, Dad?

Raymundo: Huh?

Reggie: You might want to shower off before you enter the pool. It's Stimpleton's rule.

Raymundo: (lightly punches Reggie) Lighten up, Reg. Stimpleton's a million miles away by now.

Reggie: Oh, right. Oh, I am such toast.

(Raymundo dips his foot in the pool)

Otto: Hi, Pop. Bye, Pop.

Twister: Later, Raymundo!

Sam: Nice seeing you again, sir.

Raymundo: Hey, what about a family swim?

Reggie: Uh, rain check, Pop.

(the gang runs away)

Raymundo: Okay.

(Raymundo dives off the board into the pool and spits out some water)

Raymundo: Huh? Hey, what's my Indian nutcracker! And my coconut bikini top?

(Stimpleton's car pulls up)

Violet: Merv, all this stalling is making me angry!

Merv: I didn't quadruple-check the system backup!

(Merv opens the gate)

Merv: Rocket? (yells)

Raymundo: (checkles) Hiya, neighbors.

Merv: REGGIE!!!!!

Otto: Anybody for the beach?

Reggie: (puts on her goggles) Right behind ya!

(the gang skates off)


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