Disclaimer: If you believe I own these characters, there is a lovely bridge I can sell you in Brooklyn.
Summary: During Something Blue, Buffy and Spike actually do get married. Some dialogue freely borrowed from the episode.
It was nine o’clock. Admittedly, not exactly the wee hours of the morning, but still a time when people weren’t supposed to be banging on your door. Danielle Addams, justice of the peace, seriously wondered what the world was coming to.
She opened the door. Two blondes stood outside, a fluffy haired woman who obviously favored good quality hair dye and a man who obviously skipped the good dyes and used peroxide straight from the bottle. They were holding hands and exchanging radiant looks. Young love. It had to be.
The woman spoke up. “Will you marry us?”
Danielle waved at the departing couple, now Mr. And Mrs. William Montgomery. It was a little unorthodox, to be certain, but she was a hopeless romantic at heart. She had been unable to resist their request when the man – Spike, he called himself – had said, “I want the whole world to know she’s mine”. And then Buffy had beamed at him, “I’ve always been yours.”
After that, she had happily performed the ceremony. A couple that in love deserved to have it legalized. They assured her they wanted a more formal ceremony later, but were too impatient to wait on the vows. Danielle had a strong feeling their next stop was the closest motel for the honeymoon.
Ah, to be young and in love.
As Spike drove them back to Giles, Buffy stared at the ring now on her finger. On their way to the justice of the peace, Spike had stopped and gotten them two rings from a pawn shop. He swore to her that they had been bought legally. Buffy doubted that, but part of their love would involve trusting him about these details. Besides, as simple as the gold band was, what it represented was beautiful.
And this was beautiful. Buffy couldn’t believe how wonderful she felt. It was if every song of true love was bursting to come out of her. She was happy, she was wonderful, she was loved. The last time she had felt close to this was Angel.
At that thought Buffy looked guiltily over at Spike. They still had some issues to work out, the former mortal enemy thing and all, but nothing could keep them apart now. They were married. She was now Mrs. Buffy Summers Montgomery.
Being in love with Spike was wonderful. What she had shared with Angel was wishing dreams come true. What she had with Spike was waking up from the dream and it being true.
Spike was pulling into a motel parking lot now. Buffy glanced worriedly at him. Giles was still blind, maybe they should head back straight to his place. But then she saw the look he gave her. Giles would be okay for a little while…..
At an hour closer to dawn than not, Buffy and Spike finally returned to Giles’. Before entering, Buffy went through a quick checklist.
Shirt on straight? Check. Buttons done properly? Check. Hickeys, etc. all covered up? Check. Buffy hugged the red silk shirt Spike had lent her close.
“C’mon, luv, we’ll have to face them sometime.”
Buffy made a face. With the exception of Danielle Addams, everyone had treated her newfound love with Spike as a mistake. But it was real! It had to be – how could something so good not be?
She gave Spike a kiss for luck. A few moments later they broke apart, as it grew in intensity.
“Check on Giles, then leave,” Buffy panted. Spike nodded enthusiastically. Not that he particularly cared about the Watcher, but whatever his Slayer cared about was now what he would at least try to be bothered with.
They entered the apartment, hand in hand.
“Buffy! You’re back!”
Xander and Anya were facing the door, loaded crossbows in hand. The corpse of a lesser demon lay at Anya’s feet. Giles was still on the couch, his eyes still looking ahead blankly.
“Willow did a spell!” Xander said frantically. “She’s making all this weird stuff happen and now there’s a bunch of demons chasing me and you’re under it too!”
Buffy blinked. Paused a moment, then blinked again.
“Is this why Giles is all blind now?”
“Yes and why I’ve got demon problems and why you’re all touchy feely with Spike right now,” Xander said. He grimaced at the last part, as he noticed all the snuggliness the two had going. There was something wrong with Spike tracing little patterns on Buffy’s hand. And what was she doing with his shirt on all buttoned up? Ahh! Bad images!
Buffy frowned. “I’m not under a spell. I probably only escaped because I'm the Slayer. Some kind of natural immunity.”
Xander stared at her, disbelieving. “Yeah. Right. You're marrying Spike because you're so right for each other.”
At that, Buffy and Spike shared a knowing look. Spike pulled her close against him and whispered in her ear, “Tell them.”
With her honey backing her up, Buffy prepared to share the wonderful news of her marriage when Anya’s voice broke in, demanding, “We have to find Willow! Xander and I can’t have sex until the demons stop trying to kill him!”
“Now that Anya has set our priorities straight,” Giles came in dryly, “could you go find Willow and get this damned thing reversed? I’d rather not be experiencing this incapacitating blindness, thank you.”
Buffy sighed. Her happy news would have to wait until this mess had been cleaned up; now was not a good time to announce “I married Spike!”.
“Let’s go then.”
“Hey! What about our – ”
Buffy cut Spike off with a passionate kiss. Xander tried very hard not to look, Giles wished he was deaf, too, and Anya wondered what the big deal was.
“We can talk about that later, honey. I have to go do my job.”
“About that, luv, we have to talk. I don’t like the idea of you working.”
“What, you want me to stop working?”
“Let's see — do I want you to give up killing all my friends? Yeah, I've given it some thought.”
“I am a woman of the twentieth century and if I want to work then I damn well will.”
The two blondes continued the argument as they went out the door. Xander followed, deciding that the bickering was better than the lovey-dovey act. Though did they have to punctuate every other word with a kiss or some similarly disgusting thing?
By the time they had reached Buffy and Willow’s dorm room, Xander had watched three arguments, each followed by a make up and make out session. Which was admittedly impressive to do, when you consider the whole thing was periodically interrupted by fighting with various demons. If they couldn’t reverse the spell, he wondered if Buffy and Spike would survive being married to each other. They still fought – they just necked in between and did they really have to do that in front of him?
“Hands above the waist, Dead Boy! Or better yet, hands away from Buffy!”
“Let the healing power begin. Let my will be safe again. As these words of peace are spoken, let this harmful spell be broken.”
Buffy suddenly realized several things all at once. She was a) on top of a guy, b) she was kissing said guy, and c) said guy was SPIKE!
“Oh, ughh!” What the hell had come over her? Spike. No, no, no, don’t even go there. She had just…..She was…..Oh my gosh…..
“Spike lips! Lips of Spike!” Control gag reflex. Also control all memories saying gag reflex is unnecessary. Such as the one saying Spike lips are very nice. “Ugh!”
At least Spike was having a similar reaction. He was spitting and sputtering as if he just had gotten a mouthful of brine. Buffy felt better. Except for the very bad part which wanted to know what was so wrong with the lips of Buffy. But that part was being told to be very quiet and go sit in a corner.
Willow, if you were not my best friend, you would be so dead.
“Don’t I get a cookie?” Spike was still sulking about being tied to a chair. Not that he’d admit he was sulking – Master vampires do not sulk! Nor do they marry Slayers, an annoying voice told him.
Bitch. “Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.” The same annoying voice whispered, and what a good taste that is. He told it to shut up. The only good thing that came out of this was that he now had something to lord over the Slayer. She couldn’t act so high and mighty with him now, not after all they did together. Then his mind went to a happy place about all that they did get to do – Snap out of it! The only lust for the Slayer should be of the blood kind.
“You’re a pig, Spike.”
She kept that up, it would be easy to go back to the bloodlust and hatred. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Focus on what a self righteous little (wife) bitch she was.
“Is that anyway to speak to your – ”
Buffy gave him a warning look. It quite clearly said, “If you mention wife, marriage, or any related words, I will stake in the most painful fashion possible.”
“ – fiancé.”
Buffy’s eyes narrowed, deciding to let it go. Spike rolled his eyes. He’d let her win this round. But just you wait, Slayer, you’ll get yours.
Provided he escaped from his bonds, tracked down whoever messed with his head, and returned triumphant to drink the Slayer’s blood.
Spike licked his lips at that thought, remembering how willing a certain Slayer had been just a few hours ago. Reminding her of those memories could make his waiting all the more enjoyable.
Buffy hummed happily on the way to the college post office. She’d just managed to reestablish her relationship with Riley and he seemed to be willing to ignore her whole “I’m marrying a guy named Spike” phase. It wasn’t like she was married. The justice of the peace had probably just humored them with a little ceremony; didn’t an actual marriage take all kinds of paperwork?
La, la, la. Pick up her mail, read her mail, return her rings to Spike – she hadn’t gotten around to doing that yet. Dealing with Spike was something she was soo not into doing lately. He’d get this gloating expression on his face, then he’d start leering. Then she’d start remembering a certain motel room, turn bright red, and he’d leer some more.
Staking was becoming a viable option. As long as he got staked (but he’s pretty good at the staking himself) and she so needed to talk to Will about a forgetting spell.
Junk mail, letter from Mom (we’re still in the same town, why does she write letters?), a flyer about a self defense class (not like I’d need that) and an official looking envelope.
Buffy had a very, very, VERY bad feeling about that last one.
She opened it. It was the marriage license for one William Blood Montgomery and Buffy Anne Summers.
There was a notice saying this was only a copy; the actual license was filed in the Town Hall. There was some more stuff on the legalities of changing your maiden name. Some secretary had tucked in a note reading “Congratulations Mr. And Mrs. Montgomery”.
Apparently Danielle Addams had actually married them. Buffy stared at the unreturned ring on her finger, flashing back to that night.
A husky British voice, meeting her eyes with a look full of adoration, whispering, “With this ring, I thee wed.”
Buffy collapsed against the wall. How could she be married? To Spike? And more importantly, how could she get unmarried?