** These symbols surrounding words indicated song lyrics. To listen to part of the song featured in this chapter ("I Know" by Fiona Apple) go to:
"Looking for A Place to Land"
This Chapter was written by Michelle
Gia goes to Lucky's room a couple of Days after visiting Nikolas. Without knocking, she simply stands outside the entrance. She takes a deep breath and then softly taps on the door. Lucky opens it slowly and looks at her.
Gia: We need to talk
Lucky: (solemnly) Yeah, we do.
He moves to the side and lets Gia pass to enter the room. She steps inside and he closes the door.
Lucky: You can't.
Lucky: "I can't." That's one of the last things you said to me when we were together.
Gia: Oh (she tries not to remember)
Lucky: So what does it mean?
Gia: (looking around and away) I don't know, Lucky. . . I don't know.
Gia: (shrugging and shaking her head) I don't know, Lucky! I said a lot of things that night. . . I was just--
Lucky: (he sighs) You must have some idea what you meant
Gia: Lucky, I'm. . .
Gia: (she looks to the side and stares into the void) Do you want me to be honest?
Lucky: (rolling his eyes) Well. . . yeah. That would be nice.
Gia: (she looks back at him abruptly) It's Nikolas.
Lucky: (relaxed and sighing) Look, Gia, I had a feeling it was about him. (he embraces her) And you know what? He doesn't have to know about us.
Gia looks away.
Lucky: And if he already knows. . . I understand what you're going through. It's hard loving someone else this soon. . . and I--
Gia: (breaking away from his touch) I've been using you, Lucky
Lucky: (stunned) What??
Gia: (struggling to remain immune to Lucky's gaze) I've been using you
Lucky steps back.
Gia: (coldly) I'm still in love with Nikolas. (she chokes when she realizes she's been holding back her tears. . . and her breath) I just got bored. I needed a change. . . but I was still in love with Nikolas. I've always been in love with Nikolas.
Lucky closes his eyes and turns his head towards the floor.
Lucky: I don't believe it.
Gia: (tears streaming down her face) I used you, Lucky! I used you to break free of Nikolas. . . . . . . . . . . . I don't love you.
It hit. Lucky balls his hands into fists like he's fighting to stay alive. He joins Gia in her tears. . . and then walks out the door.
Five minutes later, Gia finds Lucky out in the hallway. He's staggering--facing dowwards with his hands braced onto the wall. His face is red and tears line the corners of his eyes. Gia is broken. Her heart swells and her tears fall freely. She is so sick of pretending, but her mind is racing.
Lucky: (hoarse) So you were just using me?
** So be it, I'm your crowbar. . . if that's what I am so far. Until you get out of this mess **
Gia: (choking) I needed to be free, Lucky. And you gave me that freedom. When I'm with you, I forget about--
Lucky: (turning to face her with his eyes bloodshot and his hair touseled) What about Skye?
Gia: (wiping her tears) What about Skye?
**And I will pretend. . . that I don't know of your sins. Until you are ready to confess. But all the time. . . all the time. . . I'll know. I'll know. **
Lucky: (irritated) Nevermind, Gia. I just heard something. . . Is she trying to hurt you, Gia?
Gia: (defiant) No, she's not.
Lucky: (forceful) Is she trying to hurt you, Gia?!
Gia: No. Lucky, I--
Lucky: Gia, I kn--
Gia kisses him to stop the inevitable words from escaping from his lips. Slow and pleading. . . Lucky gives in.
**And you can use my skin. . . to bury secrets in. And I will settle you down**
They break apart.
Lucky: What was that kiss for? . . . If you don't love me?
Gia: That. . . was about sex, Lucky.
Lucky: Sex. (he conceeds)
**And at my own suggestion. . . I will ask no questions**
As Gia begins to explain, a young couple heads towards them from the hallway. The young woman approaches Gia (obviously not noticing Gia's upset).
Young woman: Excuse me, aren't you the Face of Deception?
Gia: (stuggling to freshen her appearance) Uh. . . yeah. I was.
Young woman: Could I please have your autograph?
Gia looks at Lucky. He shrugs.
**While I do my thing in the background. . . but all the time. . . all the time. . . I'll know. I'll know.**
The woman asks her boyfriend for a pen and a scrap of paper. Seconds later, the woman has her autograph.
Young woman: (beaming) Thank you so much.
Gia smiles half-heartedly.
As the couple leaves, Gia gazes after them.
** And when the crowd becomes your burden. And you've early closed your curtains I'll wait by the backstage door.**
Gia: (still gazing at her fans) About the kiss. . .
Lucky: (not giving her a chance to explain) I know you love me
Gia: No, Lucky. No, you don't.
Lucky: (stepping closer towards her) I KNOW you love me
Gia sighs and shrugs.
Gia: Okay, Lucky. HOW do you know I love you?
Lucky; (stepping even closer to caress her face) The way you look at me. . . the way you melt in my arms when I kiss you. . . the way you look into my eyes as I make love to you. . .
He kisses her on the forehead. Gia is speechless.
**While you try to find the lines to speak your mind and pry it open, hoping for an encore. And if it gets too late, for me to wait for you to find you love me and tell me so. . . It's okay. . . don't need to say it. . . **
Lucky: I know.
Gia shakes her head to free her mind from Lucky's words.
Gia: What we had. . . whatever it was. . . is over.
Lucky simply nods--totally unconvinced.
Return to the Fanfiction Index