Rosco P. Coltrane For President

Bo smiled, “Candy, are you ready to go to the town meeting?”

Candy with baby Bo in her lap, “I sure am.”

Honeybee asked as Bo opened the door. “Daddy do you know why Uncle Boss Rosco is calling the meeting?”

Bo chuckled. “Your guess is as good as mine, darling.”

Tammy turned and looked at the kittens Fluffy and Buffy. “If you see any meanies, get them good.”

Honeybee added right before Bo shut the door. “Yea go for the throat.”

A little later at the town meeting

Rosco looking out over all the folks seated in the Jesse Duke Memorial Gymnasium at JD Hogg High. “I'd like to thank all of you for coming. I know that when Boss was alive, I wasn’t always the honest lawman that I should have been and for that I'm truly sorry. However in the last few years I hope that I've made up for everything.” He paused for a moment.

“I've decided to run for president of these United States. Now before y'all start laughing, I promise you that I'm not insane and I'm not drunk. For the last few years I've seen things that make my heart break, poor people not getting the medical help that they need because they have to choose between food or health care Little children getting killed by their own parents. So instead of moaning and complaining, I've decided to try to do something about it… and I'd be honored if you would all lend me your support.”

Bo called out from his seat. “Rosco, you've done good by Hazzard in the last few

years. So you've got us Dukes behind you.”

Luke added. “Rosco, we'll do anything that we can.”

Rosco smiled. “That means a lot considering how much that I've done to you Dukes.”

Candy said, “Rosco, if you need help, I'll contact a bunch of my country music friends and put on a show and help you raise the money.”

Rosco replied. “Bo, your one lucky man to have a wife like that. You'd better

hold on to that little girl good and tight.” Then Rosco looked at Enos. “We've been

through thick and thin. So would you please be my running mate?”

Enos grinned. “Possum on a gum bush I'd love too.”

Rosco turned to Cooter. “Would you be my campaign manager?”

Cooter smiled. “It would be an honor Rosco.”

Rosco turned back to the Dukes. “I'd like it if you Duke boys would be in my cabinet.”

Bo and Luke spoke together. “Rosco, it would an honor.”

The next few weeks were busy getting Rosco ready to run for president. But it wasn't easy cause he's running against Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and her brand new running mate Joey Buttafuko. Candy got a country music concert together with Garth Brooks, Alan Jackson, Shania Twain, and a real handsome blond dude named John Schneider.

Finally it’s time for the debate

Hillary Clinton spoke first. “Now all of you folks should vote for me because

unlike Rosco P. Coltrane, I'm as honest as the day is long and I 'm not some

little housewife staying at home and standing by her man like Tammy Wynette.”

Donald Trump shot back. “No you’re not staying home cause if you were, Bill might not have had his little fling.”

Hillary glared at him and then her attention turned to Bo Duke and she said, “To heck with this I've got to have you blondie.”

Candy yelled. “Over your dead body you stuck up old bat.”

“Oh no I just thought I saw Amy. You’re on your own Hillary baby I'm out of here.” Joey Buttafuko exclaimed and ran.

Donald Trump turned from the other candidates and stepped up close to Daisy. “The heck with this I'm going to see if I can get a date with this cute little hick.”

“Oh no, you don't money bags!” Daisy threw him to the ground as Rosco stood back and watched it all with an amused look on his face.

Well folks it's Election Day and the new president is Rosco Pervis Coltrane and just as their swearing him in

Cletus says “Rosco wake up! It's time to go to dinner. Boy, the way you we're tossing and turning it must have been some dream.”

Rosco replied. “Cletus, you don't know the half of it.”

Rosco for president? Folks I'm not sure if the world could ever be ready for that one.

Written by Juanita Ford

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