The Road Ahead
By Cristy Brown
~Prologue~
Christy Tunstall was sweeping the porch of the white two-story frame house when she heard the wagon approaching. Looking up, she shielded her eyes from the glaring sun with one hand. It was a late summer afternoon in Sweetwater, but the sunlight was still bright enough to prevent her from catching a good glimpse of her visitor.
Christy Tunstall was sweeping the porch of the white two-story frame house when she heard the wagon approaching. Looking up, she shielded her eyes from the glaring sun with one hand. It was a late summer afternoon in Sweetwater, but the sunlight was still bright enough to prevent her from catching a good glimpse of her visitor.
“Mama, Mama!” Christy’s son hopped up and down and pointed. “Looky, Mama, company!”
“I see, Charlie.” Christy smiled down at the four-year-old, with the dark hair so much like his father’s.
The wagon slowly pulled into the front yard and Christy hurried down the steps, smoothing her dark blonde hair back into place and hastily removing her worn work apron. She threw open the gate to the white picket fence that surrounded the house and surveyed her new guest with surprise.
A lone woman climbed down from the wagon seat. It was obvious that she had come quite a long way; the tired expression on her face told Christy that much. Her clothes were dusty from travelling and her dark hair had come loose from the bun fashioned in the back. The woman’s face was gaunt, making her green eyes look enormous. The woman took a step toward Christy and glanced at her tentatively.
“Christy? Christy Tunstall?” The woman asked, extending her hand.
“Yes?” Christy replied, offering her own hand while taking in the woman’s black dress, a widow’s dress. “I’m sorry; do I know you?”
The woman smiled, revealing perfectly even white teeth. “No, I’m afraid not, but I think you may have known my husband. My name is Agnes, Agnes Hickok.”
“Would you like sugar with your tea, Mrs. Hickok?” Christy called from the kitchen to the woman sitting in the parlor.
“No, thank you, and please, call me Agnes.”
Christy grabbed onto the edge of her counter for support. She wiped a hand across her face, trying to come to grips with the fact that Jimmy’s widow was at her house, sitting on her couch. After recovering from her initial shock, the hostess in Christy took over and she had invited Agnes inside for tea. She bustled around her roomy kitchen, gathering the teapot and the cups, anything to keep her mind from returning to Agnes and any possible reasons for her visit. Finally, she grabbed the tea tray and headed toward the parlor, proud that the china teacups on the tray only shook a little.
“Here you are.” Christy poured Agnes a cup of the steaming liquid, sloshing a little over the sides.
“Thank you.” The handsome woman daintily lifted the cup to her lips and sipped. She sat the teacup delicately back on its saucer and surveyed Christy. “Mrs. Tunstall, I’ve upset you by coming here, haven’t I?”
“No, I-“ Christy sat the tea tray down before she dropped it. “Call me Christy, please. You haven’t upset me, Agnes, I guess I’m just surprised at your visit.”
“Surprised that the wife of your ex-lover would want to see you?” Agnes asked lightly with a raised eyebrow.
Christy felt her face redden and she looked down guiltily. It seemed Agnes had read her mind. “Perhaps. If you don’t mind me being blunt, why are you here, Agnes?”
The other woman’s gaze was direct and intense as she met Christy’s eyes. Much like her husband’s had been, Christy thought wryly. “I’ll admit that when I first learned of you, I felt some resentment towards you. I was jealous, even. Moreover, I couldn’t fathom why my husband had never mentioned you. However, time passed and my hurt feelings faded. I was left with the simple desire to find the one person my husband never saw fit to tell me about but who obviously still held a place in his heart.”
“If Jimmy never told you about me,” Christy felt a brief discomfort at using the other woman’s husband’s name on such a familiar term. “How did you find me?”
Just then Charlie came through the door from playing outside. Despite his excitement at having company, Christy’s son was very shy. When Agnes had arrived, Charlie immediately ran to hide in the stables. Now, he slunk inside, running to cover his face in his mother’s skirts.
“This is your son?” Agnes clarified.
Christy nodded proudly. “This is Charlie. Charlie, say hello to Mrs. Hickok.”
He hesitantly peeped from the safety of her dress and smiled shyly at his mother’s guest.
“He’s a lovely boy.” Agnes smiled. “You are married then?”
“Yes, my husband is away right now. He’s a horse trader and he’s in Pine Bluff at an auction.” Christy explained. “Charlie, why don’t you go upstairs to play while Mrs. Hickok and I are talking.”
Both women watched as the boy skipped his way up the stairs. For a minute there was silence as Christy contemplated all that Agnes had told her.
“You haven’t told me how you found me.” Christy finally said.
“James spoke often of his days with the Pony Express. He seemed to consider the people he met then family. He even went to New York with Bill Cody for awhile, did you know that?”
Christy felt a small smile tug at her lips. Cody with his big hopes and dreams had finally struck a goldmine. “Yes, I think I did read that in one of the papers. Billy has a sort of travelling Wild West show, am I right?”
Agnes nodded. “Yes, Mr. Cody wanted James to be a part of his show; a living legend of the mythical gunfighter, if you will. But the city didn’t agree with James, he yearned for the open plains and he soon left to come out West again.
“We met shortly thereafter, courted for a brief period and were married. We were married only five months when he was killed; shot in the back by that murderer, Jack McCall. Five months, do you have any idea how short a period of time that is, Mrs. Tunstall?” Agnes’ green eyes were bleak with grief.
Christy tried to think of something comforting to say, but there could be nothing to ease the other woman’s obvious pain. Instead, she reached out and laid a hand on Agnes’ shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
Agnes dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief she produced from her skirt pocket. “After James’ death, I had to go through his things. In particular, there was a trunk filled with letters and mementos, mostly from his days with the Pony Express.”
Agnes daintily blew her nose on the handkerchief before continuing. “Most of the people mentioned in the letters I was familiar with from James’ stories: Kid, Louise, Bill Cody of course. However, at the very bottom of the trunk was a stack of letters from someone I had never heard of before-you.”
Christy hesitated, not sure what all might have been written in those letters. “That was a long time ago, Agnes, before Jimmy met you I’m sure.”
“I understand that.” Agnes stated firmly, but not hatefully. “What I don’t understand is why James never mentioned you; you obviously meant a lot to him.”
“As I said, that was a long time ago. We courted a little, but then the war came-“ Christy broke off, an expression of sadness crossing her face.
Agnes seemed to be studying her intently. “You said you courted, Mrs. Tunstall, but I ask of you, was that the extent of your relationship with my husband?”
“Wh-what do you mean?” Christy asked, her confusion apparent.
Agnes pursed her lips thoughtfully. “I only ask because your letters were not the only thing I found in James’ trunk; I also found this.”
Agnes handed Christy a small leather pouch with a drawstring. Christy opened the bag and a small object fell into her hand. For a minute she simply stared at it, willing it to disappear. It had been many years since Christy had seen the small item cradled in her palm. She stared at Agnes in amazement.
“It is what I think it is, then?” Agnes asked.
“Yes,” Christy slowly nodded. “It was my engagement ring.”
~Chapter One~
Jimmy and Christy wandered aimlessly along the creek bed, not saying much. The creek burbled noisily over rocks and journeyed onward unseen to the sea. The day was hot and windy and the clear, sparkling water beckoned to the pair walking beside it. Christy stopped to scoop some of the cold liquid into her hand, pausing to consider her companion.
James Butler Hickok stood with his thumbs looped into the pockets of his black pants, gazing into the distance, a slight frown wrinkling his brow. His long brown hair blew softly from the breeze and his two Navy Colts glinted in the sunlight. Christy smiled slightly at the sight of him and sighed.
“What’s on your mind, Jimmy?” She finally asked as she straightened from her place at the creek bed.
“Who says anything is on my mind?” He countered as he turned to her.
“Come on, Jimmy.” Christy said knowingly. “You didn’t ask me to take a walk with you for nothing”
He shook his head and smiled. This woman knew him too well to deceive her and trying to cover things up had never been his style anyway. “Alright, I admit I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Well, are you going to tell me, or do I have to pry it out of you?” She teased.
“I know a lot has changed here recently.” Jimmy began and Christy nodded somberly. “I guess I just wanted to know what your plans are now.”
Christy silently looked at the rushing water and thought of the past few months. First Ike had died, and then Noah had been killed while protecting Rosemary, forcing Jesse to leave his Rock Creek family behind forever. Now the war that had been brewing for years had finally come. What was left of the Pony Express family had been dealt a final blow when Teaspoon received word that the Rock Creek station would be shut down, pending the arrival of the telegraph that would soon be in service in Nebraska.
“I guess I’m not real sure what my plans are.” Christy admitted.
Jimmy shifted uncomfortably. “Are you going back to Virginia with Kid?”
She sighed as she thought of her cousin, who would be leaving by train tomorrow to fight for the Southern cause. “No, I’m going to stay with Louise for awhile. She’ll need some help since she got Theresa and Jeremiah from the orphanage.”
“Lou’s brother and sister are old enough to look after themselves.” Jimmy pointed out.
“I know. I just don’t think Jeremiah really understands why Lou had to leave them in the orphanage until she could provide for them. He may cause trouble, and Lou will need some support with Kid gone.” She explained.
“So you’re going to Sweetwater?” Jimmy asked.
Christy nodded slowly. “For awhile. It was a blessing Kid and Lou were able to buy Emma Shannon’s old place. Kid says Sweetwater is a nice little town. Why do you want to know all this, Jimmy?”
“I guess I figured you’d stay here in Rock Creek.” Jimmy said hesitantly.
“Why would I?” She shrugged. “Without Kid here, I really don’t have a reason to stay.”
Jimmy felt the sting of her remark, but decided he deserved it. It was only recently that he and Christy could talk again after what happened with Rosemary. Jimmy knew he had been foolish to let Rosemary turn his head. The stress of the coming war coupled with concern over his brother’s involvement with a group of abolitionists that had come under attack by the Army, had forced a feeling of intimacy with her that Jimmy had mistaken for something else. Looking at Christy standing before him, her blue eyes soft and her dark blonde hair slightly mussed from the wind, Jimmy hoped he hadn’t made the biggest mistake of his life.
“There’s Rachel and Buck.” Jimmy reminded her.
“Rachel will have to move to the room they built behind the schoolhouse, she’ll hardly have room for me. And Buck and I aren’t as close as I would like us to be. It seems like since Ike died, he’s afraid to get close to anyone. With Cody scouting for the Army, and Teaspoon going back to Texas, there really isn’t much choice. Besides, Louise is my family now and families should stick together.”
“What about me?” Jimmy’s gaze was direct but fearful.
Christy swallowed hard before answering. “I think you already made your decision.”
“This is about Rosemary, ain’t it?” Jimmy blew an exasperated breath. “I told you, that’s over. I’m sorry I hurt you, but you can’t hold that against me for the rest of our lives.”
“But it’s not over, is it, Jimmy?” Her eyes danced with fire. “You’re going back to Kansas with her!”
“Not to be with Rosemary! Just because we both believe in the same thing doesn’t mean I care for her. I want to go back and finish the work my father started and to be with my family. You of all people should understand that!” Jimmy’s temper showed in his words, try as he might to contain it.
She stared at him silently until he relented. Gently he took her hand, noticing how small and dainty it was compared to his large, rough one. “Look, this ain’t why I wanted to see you. I don’t want to argue. Christy, I-I want you to come with me.”
Her mouth formed a perfect circle. “You what?”
“Come with me to Kansas. You can meet Celenda. My sister will love you.” Jimmy’s eyes showed the urgency he felt.
“You want me to come to Kansas with you to help you fight against slavery?” She asked dully.
“You don’t have to be an abolitionist, I just want you near me.” Jimmy grabbed her by the shoulders to emphasize his point.
“I can’t, Jimmy.”
“Why? Tell me one good reason why you can’t.” He demanded.
“Because of Kid! You know I don’t believe in slavery and neither does Kid, but he does believe in Virginia. If I went with you, it would be like I was going against my cousin and I can’t do that.” Christy shook her head determinedly.
Jimmy rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Why do you always put him before me?”
“That’s not fair, Jimmy.” She protested. “Kid is my family!”
“What am I to you?” She started to turn away, but he pulled her back to face him. “Answer me! I want to know exactly where I stand with you.”
Christy pulled away from his grasp. “You know very well what you meant to me. But I can’t forgive you, not yet. If you go back to Kansas with Rosemary, even if I were with you, I don’t think I would ever trust you.”
“Why?” His mouth was set in a thin line and his eyes were dark.
“Because, Jimmy, even if you don’t want her; I know how she feels about you.” She replied evenly. “It would always be between us and I won’t live like that.”
“Then no matter what I say, you won’t change your mind?” He asked.
“No, I can’t go with you.”
Jimmy stared at her sadly. Christy looked back at him until the tears threatened to come, then she turned to leave. How could they have come to this? She cursed the war for taking away her friends and family and for making her choose between Kid and Jimmy.
“Wait, don’t go.” He pleaded.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. “I just got one more thing to say and if you still say no, I’ll try to accept it.”
She nodded reluctantly. “Alright. What is it?”
Still holding her hand, Jimmy nervously dropped to one knee. Grabbing a small leather pouch from the pocket of his tan coat, he hesitantly shook the little bag open and dropped something into his hand. He looked at her steadily and tried to hide the fear in his voice: fear that a thousand gunfights couldn’t have produced.
“Christy, please come with me. I don’t want to leave here without you. I know I hurt you, but I can make it up to you if you let me. Please, just give me one more chance, and-and…” He hesitated as he slid the small ring onto her finger. “Do me the honor of marrying me.”
The tears she had been holding back finally spilled over. She gazed at the lovely ring with its setting of a small garnet flanked by two pearls, the gold band gleaming in the sunlight. “Jimmy, it’s beautiful.” She breathed.
“Say yes, then.” Jimmy urged.
Christy studied the ring a minute longer before pulling it off. “I can’t. It wouldn’t be right. I told Noah when I first came here, that if war ever came, I would choose to stay with my family. I didn’t realize then that you and Billy and Rachel and everyone else would become part of my family. I guess I lied to him in a way…”
“So you’re saying no?” She tried to ignore the hurt in his brown eyes.
Christy handed him the tiny ring back. “I’m sorry, Jimmy, but I can’t marry you.”
He put the ring back in the leather pouch without meeting her eyes.
“Please don’t be mad, Jimmy.” She begged.
“I ain’t mad. I ain’t anything.” He shuffled his feet. “I’m leaving tomorrow morning for Kansas, if you change your mind…”
She was silent, not wanting to say anything he might take for encouragement.
“My feelings ain’t going to change, Christy. Nothing’s gonna change that, not war and not Rosemary.” Jimmy said softly.
He climbed onto his palomino then, and rode off and left her. Christy sat down again on the rocks beside the creek. Cradling her head on her knees, she tried to convince herself she had made the right decision.
