F.M.U. Internet news network.News exclusives 1st on-line.™ Blair Briefs Bush on UK Cyber war efforts. 
British Prime minister Tony Blair has just emerged from a secret meeting. The PM is in Washington filming an advertisment for Avon cosmetics. He did however have time to take a break from the make-up chair for this important and topical meeting with Georgie Bush, President of the USA. Our source inside the meeting informed us that Mr.Blair has revealed the operations being waged by British secret service scientists in the cold war with Iraq. This information follows hot on the heels of recent CIA investigations into the concept of so called cyber warfare. Mr.Blair told the packed room of computer experts that British agents had began actions against Iraqs video arcade infastructure as far back as 1982. Undercover dealings with leading American, European and Japanese video games hardware distributors means that equipment in use in Iraq is chipped. This tiny extra chip, apparently the size of an arabs small finger nail, means that on a pre-detirmend strike day all commercial and home video systems will crash. Mr.Blair explained how top British psychological warfare experts predict that the wrath of Iraqis un-able to play their versions of super sadam world and koran krunching Pacman will incite revolution The idea is that the country will sell America and Britain very cheap oil once it is revealed that secret services have the key. Over 2m Iraqis are said to be addicted to the video games in which players munch and learn verses of the Koran whilst advoiding execution for having an opinion. |
 The Queen of England made an surprise announcement today brocast exclusively on hospital radio networks around Great Britain (including the Isle of Wight). HRH said that she is ready to join Ground troops in the much awaited Gulf War 2, HRH said that she has long wanted to bloody her own hands and to have her right to rape and pillage. She confirmed that Doctors have given her the all clear and she is fit and able to shoot Iraqis with her own blue blood filled thumb.  UK police forces have seized computer hard drives said to contain indecent images of Hedgehogs. A loop-hole in British animal protection law has allowed police to hold Telivisions Bill Oddy without charge for more than 72 hours. Police have confirmed that man of the woods TV hero of old, Mr.Oddys computer was under investigation, other items taken from Mr.Oddys ill decorated abode include a disgusting Hedgehog sex aid. (pictured above) Beadle markets new Comedy potion  By FMU entertainment editor JONNY GOGO. Media Jester Jeremy Beadle today launched his patented comedy potion in a publicity frenzy across the Anglia TV region. Mr. Beadle explained to me exclusively via British Telecom on how his expensive new potion takes it comedy effect. "Its rather like Rohypnol in its immediate effect" explained Jerrers. "the plan is to drug the star of your own comedy show with my patented comedy potion, when they fall un-concious you have 30 minutes to act! In this time-frame change them out of their smart casual clothes and into a clown suit" Mr.Beadle went on for another 75 minutes explaining on how customers of his cream-of-mirth could upload their home tapes to his super computer based somewhere in the anglia tv region. "Now the star of a fabulous comedy show truly could be you." Concluded the cheeky entertainer. Because its WAR..log on www.fmunews.tk... |
