Just This Side of Bent

Title: Just This Side of Bent Part 2

Site: https://www.angelfire.com/tv2/firebird_ascending/

Author: Velvet Crypt

Disclaimer: Joss is God. I own nothing.

Distribution: Sure. Just lemme know where my baby’s going.

Spoilers: Season 7 for living arrangements, i.e. Xander has his place and Spike and Andrew are bunking at Buffy’s.

Summary: Spike shares a bit of ‘hands-on’ assistance to help Andrew go after Xander. Combinations of S/X/Ad. This part is shameless swooning of X/Ad

Dedication: To the fine folk at Xandrew (yahoo) for sharing in my new obsession with Xandrew and the wonderful listsibs at Nummytreats for enjoying the warm comfy goodness that is Spander. Ummm…does this make it Spandrewer? ~snert~

“Xander, can you unplug the toilet?”

*slam*

“Xander, can you carve me some more stakes?”

*slam*

“Xander, can you run out to the store?”

*slam*

“Xander, can you lurk around like a lapdog until one of us needs some pathetically useless task accomplished?”

*thunk*

“Godammit! Shit! Ow! Owowowowow!” Xander dropped the hammer that had just smashed his finger. He growled at the cabinet door and kicked it in a fury. “Bloody hell!”

“Now that’s disconcerting, mate.” Spike smirked, leaning against the doorframe. “Now you’re starting to sound like me.”

Xander snarled at Spike from around the finger jammed in his mouth. “Fwuck oo, ‘Pike.”

Spike just shrugged gallically and headed for the fridge. “Why not? I fucked everyone else.”

Xander stood flummoxed in the center of the kitchen. He tried to wrap his brain around Spike’s statement and all he could come up with was a giant writhing ball of arms and legs and the occasional shouted ‘Oh, Spike…you’re the Big Bad!’.

He snickered.

Spike glanced up at him.

He chuckled.

Spike raised an eyebrow.

Xander burst into laughter, dragging his finger from his lips. Spike quirked the side of his mouth, then couldn’t help but to follow the infectious laughter with his own. Andrew walked into the kitchen just as Xander had to collapse into a chair or fall on his ass. He looked between the two men with a confused expression.

“Um…what’s going on?”

Xander wiped the tears from his eyes and held his finger up as evidence. “I smashed my thumb.”

Andrew’s eyes widened. “Ookay. You do know that smashing your thumb usually results in the opposite of laughing?” Spike and Xander exchanged an amused look and it sent them off into paroxysms of laughter again. Andrew sighed. “I’m not going to ask.” He reached under the kitchen sink and pulled out the first aid kit.

“Give me your finger.” He demanded. Still trying to suppress his snickers, Xander held up the offending digit. Andrew rolled his eyes and went to work staunching the blood and tenderly wrapping the battered finger.

“Y’know, I’ve been thinking.” Xander began. “Shut up, Spike.” He cut the vamp off as he opened his mouth to reply. The vamp just grinned. “I’m missing the whole peace and quiet thing.”

“Amen, brother.” Andrew muttered. Spike and Xander traded grins.

“I’m also missing the whole, ‘I’m a man cause I like football, Baywatch and beer’ thing instead of being a man cause I can reach the top shelf thing.” Spike nodded and flopped into a second kitchen chair with a mug of blood. “So…” Xander looked around slyly. “I’m going to take this weekend off from my male Scooby duties and vegetate at home with some action flicks and pizza.”

“You deserve a break, Xander. I think it’s a fabulous idea.” Andrew said supportively. When Spike caught his gaze, the vamp rolled his eyes and mouthed ‘fabulous?’ Andrew blushed. “I-I mean…that kicks ass.” He glanced back to Spike for reassurance. Spike rolled his eyes again and jerked his head towards the dark haired Scooby investigating his bandaged finger.

“Ask him if you can join him,” Spike mouthed silently. Andrew’s eyes grew wide and he started shaking his head wildly. Spike narrowed his gaze and lowered his chin threateningly. “Ask him.” He mouthed firmly.

Andrew nearly ran from the room. Gathering his courage to him, he took a deep breath and tried to sound casual. “Hey, Xan-man…”

Xander’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline as he looked at the last remaining member of the Troika. Spike just slapped his hand against his forehead.

“Er…” Andrew blushed and dropped the ‘cool’ pose he’d adopted. “I mean, Xander?”

“Yeah?”

“How do you feel about…um…” He looked desperately at Spike. “Well, you know…about um, some company?” Andrew panicked. “Cause me and Spike…we’re kinda missing out on the whole testosterone vibe too.”

Spike glared at the boy.

Andrew pretended not to see him.

Xander looked thoughtful and shrugged. “Sure. More the merrier. See you guys tonight about 8?”

Andrew puffed up in happiness and attempted to lean sexily on the back of the chair. Unfortunately, Xander chose that moment to stand. “Sounds grea-oopmph!” His hand slipped off and he barely caught himself before dumping his ass into the floor. “Um…yeah, see you at 8.”

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