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Title:                 Family Part 7

Email:               tirel@pcnuthut.com

Author:             Velvet Crypt

Disclaimer:        Joss is God. I own nothing.

Spoilers:           Um…total non canon.

Summary:         Spike gets the third degree.

 

 

The trip from the Bronze to Giles’ was made in silence. Nate and Spike sat in the car while Xander and Lys went inside to get Ellie. Spike stared through the windshield into the night, lost in thought. Nate stared at the vampire’s profile in the front seat.

 

“Uncle Wil?” he asked softly, and even then, he saw the older man start slightly.

 

“Yeah, Nate?” came the quiet reply.

 

“Why won’t you tell Uncle Xander that you love him?” Silence met his question. It was different than the first companionable silence. This was heavy, fraught with unspoken pain and uncertainty.

 

Just as Nate thought his uncle wasn’t going to answer him, “It’s complicated, boy.”

 

“Why? Why does it have to be complicated? He loves you, you love him.”

 

Spike turned in his seat and blue eyes sought brown ones. Nate refused to be cowed by the warning in the cerulean depths. “So, how long have you been in love with him?” He asked defiantly.

 

The corner of Spike’s mouth turned up in a smirk. Ballsy little git.

 

“What would you like me to say?”

 

“The truth would be nice.”

 

“The truth.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You want the truth. You want to know when I realized that the tight feeling in my chest every evening would only dissipate when I heard his goofy voice or saw for myself that he hadn’t bee hurt on patrol the night before. You want to know when I realized his touch sent shivers down my spine. You want to know when I decided that I was going to kill Anya the next time she demanded what he couldn’t give.”

 

He took an unneeded breath. “You want to know when I decided to snap the neck of the next person who brought that wounded puppy look to his eyes. Or the pages of horrible poetry I have stashed in a hole in my crypt that rave on about his chocolate eyes, and his musical laugh. How about the first time I had a nightmare about him dying that was so real I curled into a ball and trembled on my bed for an hour.”

 

Nate reached a hand out to the vampire. With a wry smile, Spike took it. He looked down at their joined hands. “I’ve wanted him since the first time Angel offered him to me. I’ve liked him since the first night I spent in his basement tied up in that awful chair. But you want to know when I realized I loved him. That I can’t tell you, Nate. There was no moment of truth, no lightening bolt.”

 

He laughed and rested his cheek on the car seat. “He crept under my skin and into my heart bloody stealthily, he did. So slowly that I feel like I’ve always loved him. So, I suppose the edited version of the answer to you question would be: I don’t know.”

 

Nate smiled, trying not to cry. “He loves you too, Uncle Wil.

 

“I know, luv.” Spike smoothed an unruly curl down on Nate’s head and then turned back around in his seat to resume staring out the windshield. “I know.”

 

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Xander and Spike diligently avoided each other for the next week. Even the briefest of glances seemed to start a raging fire in each of them; a fire that Lys seemed to pay for. Xander was horrified to hear about the channeling at the Bronze and vowed not to do anything that would wrest control of Lys’s emotions from her again.

 

Spike was concerned as well, but he went looking for a solution. He asked Willow and Tara to start working with Lys on control and on blocking. He poured himself into house husbanding while Xander worked overtime at the construction site. He had thought he was doing well until Willow showed up at the house one day while the kids were at school and Xander at work.

 

He opened the door to a frowning Willow and stepped back from the sunlight to let her in. “Wot’s u, Red? Xan and the kids aren’t here.”

 

Willow fixed him with an unreadable look. “I know. I came to talk to you.”

 

Spike raised an eyebrow, but gestured towards the kitchen with his chin and then walked in himself. He poured her a cup of coffee and slid a plate of cookies in front of her before taking his own seat across the table from her. She stared at the cup and the cookies for a moment and then giggled.

 

“Wot’s so funny, Red?” Spike glared. She waved a hand in front of her face and shook her head.

 

“Still working on the domesticated bliss floating around.” Spike growled but Willow noticed that it seemed half hearted at best. She apologized by biting into a cookie.

 

“I’m here to talk about the pentacle.” She said around a mouthful of chocolate chip. “I’m a bit concerned with the stability of it.” Spike leaned forward, a frown furrowing his brow.

 

“Are the kids in danger?” He demanded.

 

Willow hid another smile. “I don’t really know.” She put the cookie down and took a long measuring look at him. “I’m going to talk about things you probably don’t want to hear, Spike. I’d appreciate if you let me finish and give me some honest answers with out getting all defendy-like.”

 

Spike sighed. “Did you all get together and decide to badger me one at a time until I broke?” He sighed again at the bewildered look on her face and nodded.  “Normally I’d tell you to piss off. But if it concerns the kids, I’ll try not to get defensive. Best you’re going to get, Red.”

 

Willow nodded and scooted her coffee out of the way. “We all know you want Xander. And that Xander wants you.” She frowned. “Well, maybe everyone but Xander knows that, but you get my point.” Spike chuckled and received an answering smile from the witch.

 

“You have a natural bond with him. You have a bond with all the others too. The energy flows through you all, linking you to each other and forming the pentacle. You are connected to each person through it.” Spike nodded and waited for her to continue.

 

“Normally, the energy would flow smoothly from person to person with no problem. However, it seems to have developed a hiccup.” Spike raised an eyebrow.

 

“A hiccup?”

 

Willow nodded and scooted to the edge of her chair. I can see it when you are all together and feel it when I’m helping Lys with her shields. She’s having a hard time adjusting her shields. The idea was to form a thickened cushion around her, not cutting her off from the bond, just softening up the impact a bit.  That works, but there’s a problem.”

 

“So, wot’s the problem, Red?”

 

“To be frank, Spike, you and Xander are the problem.” Willow stood and began pacing, waving her hands in front of her. “She can’t regulate with you and he surging all over the place.”

 

Spike glared. “What the hell does that mean?”

 

“You want each other. For some reason unknown to anyone else, you won’t admit it.” Willow returned the glare. “That hurts him, Spike. Every time you are together, you surge emotions through the bond. ‘I want him.’ ‘Stay away from me.’ ‘I’m guilty.’ ‘I don’t deserve him.’ ‘I want to fuck him through the floor.’” Spike started at Willow’s language.

 

“You know, those kinds of emotions.” She stepped closer to him and poked him in the chest. “Lys can deal with a steady stream of emotions. You two are on some emotional roller coaster from hell and she can’t hold the shields against you. Also, you two are the bases of the pentacle. Xander is stability and you are protection. Neither one of you is doing his job. Xander is on the verge of a breakdown and you are so busy protecting yourself that you haven’t even noticed that the kids are shouldering the burden of the bond!”

 

She wound up in his face, inches away from death if he had wanted to sink fang into her. Instead, he blushed and dropped his gaze.

 

“Sorry, luv. I didn’t know.” He said huskily.

 

Willow sighed and then did the unexpected. She threw her arms around Spike’s shoulders and hugged him. He tensed for a moment, then Willow felt arms steal around her waist, and she smiled.

 

“I know, Spike. I also know you would never hurt the kids or Xander intentionally. But you have to talk this out with him.” She pulled away to look into his eyes. How strange that an evil killer should have such beautiful, worried, contrite eyes, she thought.

 

“Please?”

 

Spike nodded. “Give me some time to think about what needs to be said. I’ll do it before the week is up.” Willow nodded and smiled.

 

“Good. And thank you, Spike. So, how do you get your cookies to stay soft like this?”

 

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