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Title: Just Tell Me
Author: Constant Vigilance
Status: Fin
Email: tirel@pcnuthut.com

Website: http://www.angelfire.com/tv2/firebird_ascending/
Rating: PG-13? Dunno. Someone dies, mention of sex.
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Spoilers: AU. Characters aged up to age of consent.
Warnings: Slash
Disclaimer: I own nothing. JKR is God.
Summary: A meeting between Harry and Draco ends with a difficult decision.
Notes: I’ve never written a ficlet before. I always have to flesh it out, create a back-story, set up a future sequel. Must say…ficlets feel kinda good.


“Crucio!” Draco screamed as soon as he’d identified Harry’s position. Harry dove forward and rolled. He heard someone scream behind him as the curse hit a different target, but couldn’t stop to help. Draco was already breathing in to launch another curse. He pointed his wand at the blonde but hesitated. In a single instant, he saw a past image superimposed over the raging Slytherin.

 

Draco, his head thrown back…his perfect hair in untidy, sweaty clumps on his neck, his mouth open in a silent scream of pleasure…his lithe seeker’s body impaled on Harry’s own…claiming bite marks littering the pale flesh of Draco’s chest.

 

And he knew there was no way he could kill Draco Malfoy. He could do nothing to hurt him. He’d be a willing sacrifice if it were to make Draco happy. And so, he dropped his wand.

 

Shrieks met his actions as well as confusion from the few Death Eaters that had followed Draco to Hogsmeade. Draco however worked himself into frenzy. “You don’t think I’m a worthy enough opponent? Is that it, Potter?” he screamed, spittle flying. “You won’t even fight me?”

 

Harry just looked sorrowfully at him. Infuriated, Draco dropped his own wand and lunged at Harry. Pure violence would be a soothing balm on the insanity running through his veins. He slammed into the Gryffindor and they tumbled to the ground, rolling top over bottom. Harry fended off Draco’s attacks but made no move to attack back. And it pushed Draco to the very edge.

 

As Harry carelessly brushed away Draco’s fist to the face, the blonde pulled a dagger from the sheath on his belt. Harry’s eyes widened and he quickly grasped Draco’s left arm in his own right. Gravity helped the wielder, however, and the knife plunged downward. Harry jerked his head sideways and the blade sank harmlessly into the dirt.

 

With a heave, he threw Draco from him and scrambled to his feet. The Slytherin followed, knife in hand. Draco lunged forward again and tangled his arms into Harry’s. He pressed the tip of the knife into Harry’s throat, only the Gryffindor’s muscles kept his jugular from being pierced. Draco moved in, the insane light in his eyes dimming as he met the regret in Harry’s.

 

He unconsciously leaned forward, his mind bowing before the familiar feel of Harry’s presence. His body remembered the feel of Harry’s own against it. His lips trembled, remembering the soft pliancy that Harry’s lips revealed against them. His breath quickened, anticipation coming even from his traitorous lungs.

 

And Harry shook his head sadly.

 

“Fight me or fuck me, Dray,” he whispered. “Kill me or keep me. You can’t have both. There’s never been any grey between us, Draco. It’s black or white, live or die, love or hate.” His eyes reflected sorrow. “You have to choose now, Dray. I tried to give you your room, your precious space, your time to make a decision. But that time is upon us now, and you have to choose. Me or him.”

 

Draco’s hand trembled on the knife and a tiny bead of blood welled up on Harry’s flesh. “What do you want from me, Potter?” he whispered brokenly.

 

Harry gradually loosened his muscles, not surprised when Draco eased up on the weight he had pressed against Harry. He lifted one hand up to cup Draco’s face. “I only want one thing, Draco,” he murmured, feeling the satin softness against his hand. “It’s the only thing I ever wanted. I love you. I only want your love in return.”

 

Draco tensed and a tiny whimper escaped his throat. “You’re lying,” he said wildly, pressing up on the knife again. “You want to use me. You want me to join your little Order, to spy on my family, to be your fucktoy. That’s what it really is, isn’t it Potter?” he begged desperately. “You think if you tell me that you love me that I won’t kill you? Well, you’re wrong!”

 

Harry brought his other hand up to Draco’s face. “Draco, I belong to you,” he said fiercely. “My love is yours. My heart, my soul, my life is yours. My death is yours as well. Do with it as you will.” He traced Draco’s pale, blonde eyebrow with his thumb and smiled. “I’m not lying. I only want your love. I thought I had it…once. But you left me.”

 

Draco eased up on the knife. “I had to go, Harry,” he whispered. “It’s my duty. It’s my heritage, my birthright. I couldn’t turn my back on it.”

 

Harry nodded understandingly. “I know, love. I’m not asking you to.” He shrugged. “Voldemort wants me dead and you get to be the hand that delivers me. Brilliant, really. If it were anyone else, I’d fight. But he knows, Draco. He knows that I won’t fight you. He knows that I belong to you. He can read me much the same as I can him through this scar. He knows more about me…about us…than you think.”

 

Draco looked panicked for a moment. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to let me kill you cause we shagged?” he sounded incredulous.

 

Harry smiled. “No, idiot. I’m going to give you the choice to kill me because I love you. And because I think you still love me,” he finished carefully.

 

Draco shook his head ferociously. “No! I don’t. I never did! I was…I was just playing w-with you.”

 

Harry shrugged. “Then if it was a lie, it shouldn’t be so hard to lie about again.” He smiled up into Draco’s eyes. “So, lie to me love. Lie to me and then you can kill me. No consequences.”

 

Draco laughed roughly. “No consequences?” He gestured to the angry crowd with his chin. “They’ll rip me to shreds if I kill you.”

 

Harry shook his head. “I’m extracting a promise,” he called loudly, eyes never leaving Draco’s. “Dumbledore.” The older man winced, knowing what Harry was going to ask of him.

 

“Yes, my boy?” he said wearily.

 

“Draco is to go free. No matter what happens here today. I want your word.” Draco looked adorably confused and Harry loved him a bit more.

 

“Yes, my boy. You have it,” the old man sighed over the infuriated cries of the others.

 

Harry smiled. “There, Dray. Get out of jail free card at your disposal.” Draco looked even more confused. “A muggle reference. Don’t mind it. Now. Lie to me, love.” He waited, watching Draco’s face.

 

“You want me to declare my love for you and then slit your throat?” Draco whispered. Harry nodded. “I-I…can’t,” his eyes began to shine with unshed tears.

 

Harry nodded. “Yes, you can. Just say it. I need to hear it just one more time. Please, Dray,” he breathed.

 

“For Merlin’s sake, boy, tell the idiot you love him and then split him open,” Lucius bellowed from behind his son. Draco tensed and his eyes fluttered shut for a moment. “Do it!” Lucius came again.

 

Draco opened his eyes. Harry’s met his. “I can’t lie to you, Harry,” his voice cracked. “Because it isn’t a lie. And I can’t tell you I love you and then kill you. I just can’t,” he moaned.

 

Harry leaned forward, pressing his own throat into the blade, and placed a single, tender kiss on Draco’s quivering lips. “I love you, Draco,” he whispered. “And I understand. You don’t have to say it.”

 

“So don’t say it, moronic fool!” Lucius snapped. “Just kill him.”

 

Draco pulled the knife away from Harry’s throat and took a better grasp on it. “Shut up,” he growled. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” With a twist of his upper body, he turned and snapped the knife behind him. A meaty thunk and a slight twanging noise later, and Lucius Malfoy’s body dropped into the dust of Hogsmeade…a blade buried in his eye.

 

Draco turned fully around to face the remainder of the death eaters, all currently staring at the lifeless body of their second in command. His eyes looked as though they might have in childhood…round, open, wondrous. Then they closed down and he was old before his time again. “Take that message to your Lord,” he ordered in a voice husky with anger. “The line of Malfoys bowing in subservience to Voldemort just ended there.” A gesture to his father’s corpse. The remaining black clad men hastily gathered Lucius Malfoy up and apparated away with distinct pops.

 

Draco stared at the spot occupied not too long ago by his father. He fought back the tears. “What did I just do, Harry?” he breathed.

 

Warm arms came around his waist and a comforting strength pressed up against his back. “You just told me you loved me.”