Title: Just Tell Me
Author: Constant Vigilance
Rating: PG-13? Dunno. Someone
dies, mention of sex.
Spoilers: AU. Characters aged up
to age of consent.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. JKR is
Summary: A meeting between Harry
and Draco ends with a difficult decision.
Notes: I’ve never written a
ficlet before. I always have to flesh it out, create a back-story, set up a future
sequel. Must say…ficlets feel kinda good.
“Crucio!” Draco screamed as soon
as he’d identified Harry’s position. Harry dove forward and rolled. He heard
someone scream behind him as the curse hit a different target, but couldn’t
stop to help. Draco was already breathing in to launch another curse. He
pointed his wand at the blonde but hesitated. In a single instant, he saw a
past image superimposed over the raging Slytherin.
Draco, his head thrown back…his
perfect hair in untidy, sweaty clumps on his neck, his mouth open in a silent
scream of pleasure…his lithe seeker’s body impaled on Harry’s own…claiming bite
marks littering the pale flesh of Draco’s chest.
And he knew there was no way he
could kill Draco Malfoy. He could do nothing to hurt him. He’d be a willing
sacrifice if it were to make Draco happy. And so, he dropped his wand.
Shrieks met his actions as well as
confusion from the few Death Eaters that had followed Draco to Hogsmeade. Draco
however worked himself into frenzy. “You don’t think I’m a worthy enough
opponent? Is that it, Potter?” he screamed, spittle flying. “You won’t even
Harry just looked sorrowfully at
him. Infuriated, Draco dropped his own wand and lunged at Harry. Pure violence
would be a soothing balm on the insanity running through his veins. He slammed
into the Gryffindor and they tumbled to the ground, rolling top over bottom.
Harry fended off Draco’s attacks but made no move to attack back. And it pushed
Draco to the very edge.
As Harry carelessly brushed away
Draco’s fist to the face, the blonde pulled a dagger from the sheath on his
belt. Harry’s eyes widened and he quickly grasped Draco’s left arm in his own
right. Gravity helped the wielder, however, and the knife plunged downward.
Harry jerked his head sideways and the blade sank harmlessly into the dirt.
With a heave, he threw Draco from
him and scrambled to his feet. The Slytherin followed, knife in hand. Draco
lunged forward again and tangled his arms into Harry’s. He pressed the tip of
the knife into Harry’s throat, only the Gryffindor’s muscles kept his jugular
from being pierced. Draco moved in, the insane light in his eyes dimming as he
met the regret in Harry’s.
He unconsciously leaned forward,
his mind bowing before the familiar feel of Harry’s presence. His body
remembered the feel of Harry’s own against it. His lips trembled, remembering
the soft pliancy that Harry’s lips revealed against them. His breath quickened,
anticipation coming even from his traitorous lungs.
And Harry shook his head sadly.
“Fight me or fuck me, Dray,” he
whispered. “Kill me or keep me. You can’t have both. There’s never been any
grey between us, Draco. It’s black or white, live or die, love or hate.” His
eyes reflected sorrow. “You have to choose now, Dray. I tried to give you your
room, your precious space, your time to make a decision. But that time is upon
us now, and you have to choose. Me or him.”
Draco’s hand trembled on the knife
and a tiny bead of blood welled up on Harry’s flesh. “What do you want from me,
Potter?” he whispered brokenly.
Harry gradually loosened his
muscles, not surprised when Draco eased up on the weight he had pressed against
Harry. He lifted one hand up to cup Draco’s face. “I only want one thing,
Draco,” he murmured, feeling the satin softness against his hand. “It’s the
only thing I ever wanted. I love you. I only want your love in return.”
Draco tensed and a tiny whimper
escaped his throat. “You’re lying,” he said wildly, pressing up on the knife
again. “You want to use me. You want me to join your little Order, to spy on my
family, to be your fucktoy. That’s what it really is, isn’t it Potter?” he
begged desperately. “You think if you tell me that you love me that I won’t
kill you? Well, you’re wrong!”
Harry brought his other hand up to
Draco’s face. “Draco, I belong to you,” he said fiercely. “My love is yours. My
heart, my soul, my life is yours. My death is yours as well. Do with it as you
will.” He traced Draco’s pale, blonde eyebrow with his thumb and smiled. “I’m
not lying. I only want your love. I thought I had it…once. But you left me.”
Draco eased up on the knife. “I
had to go, Harry,” he whispered. “It’s my duty. It’s my heritage, my
birthright. I couldn’t turn my back on it.”
Harry nodded understandingly. “I
know, love. I’m not asking you to.” He shrugged. “Voldemort wants me dead and
you get to be the hand that delivers me. Brilliant, really. If it were anyone
else, I’d fight. But he knows, Draco. He knows that I won’t fight you. He knows
that I belong to you. He can read me much the same as I can him through this
scar. He knows more about me…about us…than you think.”
Draco looked panicked for a
moment. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to let me kill you cause we shagged?”
he sounded incredulous.
Harry smiled. “No, idiot. I’m
going to give you the choice to kill me because I love you. And because
I think you still love me,” he finished carefully.
Draco shook his head ferociously.
“No! I don’t. I never did! I was…I was just playing w-with you.”
Harry shrugged. “Then if it was
a lie, it shouldn’t be so hard to lie about again.” He smiled up into Draco’s
eyes. “So, lie to me love. Lie to me and then you can kill me. No
Draco laughed roughly. “No
consequences?” He gestured to the angry crowd with his chin. “They’ll rip me to shreds if I kill you.”
Harry shook his head. “I’m
extracting a promise,” he called loudly, eyes never leaving Draco’s.
“Dumbledore.” The older man winced, knowing what Harry was going to ask of him.
“Yes, my boy?” he said wearily.
“Draco is to go free. No matter
what happens here today. I want your word.” Draco looked adorably confused and
Harry loved him a bit more.
“Yes, my boy. You have it,” the
old man sighed over the infuriated cries of the others.
Harry smiled. “There, Dray. Get
out of jail free card at your disposal.” Draco looked even more confused. “A
muggle reference. Don’t mind it. Now. Lie to me, love.” He waited, watching
“You want me to declare my love
for you and then slit your throat?” Draco whispered. Harry nodded. “I-I…can’t,”
his eyes began to shine with unshed tears.
Harry nodded. “Yes, you can. Just
say it. I need to hear it just one more time. Please, Dray,” he breathed.
“For Merlin’s sake, boy, tell the
idiot you love him and then split him open,” Lucius bellowed from behind his
son. Draco tensed and his eyes fluttered shut for a moment. “Do it!” Lucius
Draco opened his eyes. Harry’s met
his. “I can’t lie to you, Harry,” his voice cracked. “Because it isn’t a lie.
And I can’t tell you I love you and then kill you. I just can’t,” he moaned.
Harry leaned forward, pressing his
own throat into the blade, and placed a single, tender kiss on Draco’s
quivering lips. “I love you, Draco,” he whispered. “And I understand. You don’t
have to say it.”
“So don’t say it, moronic fool!”
Lucius snapped. “Just kill him.”
Draco pulled the knife away from
Harry’s throat and took a better grasp on it. “Shut up,” he growled. “Shut up,
shut up, shut up!” With a twist of his upper body, he turned and snapped the
knife behind him. A meaty thunk and a slight twanging noise later, and Lucius
Malfoy’s body dropped into the dust of Hogsmeade…a blade buried in his eye.
Draco turned fully around to face
the remainder of the death eaters, all currently staring at the lifeless body
of their second in command. His eyes looked as though they might have in
childhood…round, open, wondrous. Then they closed down and he was old before
his time again. “Take that message to your Lord,” he ordered in a voice husky
with anger. “The line of Malfoys bowing in subservience to Voldemort just ended
there.” A gesture to his father’s corpse. The remaining black clad men hastily
gathered Lucius Malfoy up and apparated away with distinct pops.
Draco stared at the spot occupied
not too long ago by his father. He fought back the tears. “What did I just do,
Harry?” he breathed.
Warm arms came around his waist
and a comforting strength pressed up against his back. “You just told me you