Piper let herself in the front door quietly and locked it behind her. It was late-even later than usual-and she didn't want to wake her sisters. She let her purse fall to the floor, followed by her jacket, and slipped out of her shoes. Trembling, she made her way up the stairs.

She headed down the corridor toward her own room, but found that she couldn't get past her sister's door. She hesitated, her hand hovering over the doorknob, then let herself in. She crossed the room silently and sat on the bed. For a few seconds she said nothing, but her trembling became more violent and her breath came in small gasps. Finally she said quietly, "Phoebe. I need you."

It took a moment for her words to penetrate Phoebe's sleep, but then Phoebe opened her eyes and raised herself up on her elbows. The street light outside cast just enough light for Phoebe to make out her sister's features, and she saw immediately that Piper was in trouble. Her expression registered her concern.

"Piper. What's wrong?" she asked. She reached for her sister, and as her hand touched Piper's forearm she saw everything: the empty club flooded with harsh light, the man grabbing Piper from behind, pushing her against the bar, and forcing himself on her violently. Phoebe came out of the vision trembling just as terribly as her sister. "Oh god," she whispered. "I'm so sorry, Piper." She pulled her sister into her arms. Both of them weeping, they held each other for a long time. Then, cautiously, Phoebe pulled back. She watched her sister carefully for a few seconds, and her hand rose to Piper's cheek. "You shouldn't have been alone. I should have been there. I'm sorry," she said quietly. Piper could only shake her head in response.

Phoebe wiped her sister's tears away with her thumbs, and held Piper's face in both hands. "We have to get you to the hospital," she said quietly.

Piper shook her head in protest. She spoke quickly, panicking: "No. Please. I can't. I can't let them touch me; I couldn't handle it. Not right now," she pleaded.

"It has to be now," Phoebe insisted gently. She grasped both her sister's hands. "Honey, now is the only time. You're still in shock; you're numb. It'll be worse if we wait," she reasoned. Piper hesitated. "You have to trust me on this, Piper. I'll be with you," she promised. "I'll get you through this," she added.

After a moment, Piper gave her a barely-perceptible nod.

"Okay," she said gently. "The police will take your clothes, so you'll need something to wear after the exam. I'll wake Prue-"

"No," Piper interrupted forcefully. Phoebe gave her a questioning look. "I can't see her now. I can't deal with her. She'll be so angry," she told her sister.

Phoebe nodded her agreement. "Okay," she said soothingly. "Whatever you say. Come on, sweetheart." She got to her feet, drawing Piper with her. Phoebe didn't bother to change out of her pajamas, just put a t-shirt, a pair of track pants, and some underwear in a bag for her sister. In two minutes they were in the Cherokee on their way to the hospital.

Phoebe parked the jeep outside the emergency entrance, walked around to the passenger side, and opened Piper's door. Piper just sat there, staring straight ahead. "Just take me home, Phoebe. Please. I can't do this," she said quietly.

Phoebe took her hand. "Yes you can. Come on," she responded, and she gently pulled her sister from the car. Phoebe put an arm around Piper's shoulders, gripped her hand tightly, and led her inside.

They approached the reception desk slowly; the ER was quiet, the waiting area empty. A nurse smiled understandingly and greeted them: "What can we do for you?"

"My sister's been raped," Phoebe said without hesitation.

The other woman's face registered sympathy, and she came out from behind the desk. "Come with me," she said, and led them into an examining room. She opened a cupboard and took out a disposable gown. "Change into this and hop up on the table. I'll get a doctor down to examine you right away. And I'll call the police for you," she said gently. Piper couldn't respond; Phoebe nodded. The nurse left them alone, closing the door behind her.

"Okay, hon. Out of those clothes," Phoebe said quietly. Piper shed her clothes slowly, letting them fall to the floor. A bruise was already forming across her ribcage where her attacker had slammed her against the bar. Phoebe tied the gown in the back for Piper and then they both sat on the table, Phoebe's arms around her sister. Piper leaned against her, her strength waning.

They didn't have to wait long before a middle-aged, male doctor knocked and entered, followed by a different nurse.

"I'm Doctor Nelsen," he said warmly. "This is Megan," he added, gesturing to the nurse, who smiled.

"I'm Phoebe Halliwell. This is my sister, Piper," Phoebe told them.

The doctor focused on Piper. "We're going to make this as easy on you as we possibly can," he promised. "We have two purposes: we need to check you for any injuries and test for bacterial and viral infections as well as collect evidence for the police. We use what's called a rape kit, which is basically just a system for collecting and storing hair and skin samples and vaginal swabs. We'll also scrape under your nails and take pictures," he explained. Again it was Phoebe who responded with a nod; Piper just stared fearfully. "Do you want your sister to stay?" he asked, and to this Piper responded with a vigorous nod. "Okay. You'll have to lie down and put your feet in the stirrups," he told her.

Phoebe slid to the end of the exam table and Piper lay down with her head in her sister's lap. Phoebe held both her sister's hands tight, only partly to lend support. She knew that if she had the chance Piper would freeze the doctor out of sheer panic.

As the doctor began the exam, Piper became visibly distressed. She closed her eyes tight, trying to block what was happening to her, but she only succeeded in making it more difficult with her tension.

Phoebe leaned very close and whispered to her: "Piper, honey, look at me. Focus on me," she pleaded. "Come on, baby, look at me," she repeated. With obvious difficulty, Piper opened her eyes, letting more tears escape. "That's it, Piper. Look at me. Look in my eyes," Phoebe insisted. "You can't feel a thing. You're just fine." She kissed Piper's forehead. "You're going to be fine," she told her sister soothingly. "You're the strongest person I know, Piper. You can get through this. You can do this. We'll be home soon and you can have a hot bath and get into bed and I'm going to take such good care of you," Phoebe promised, managing a small smile. "I'm going to spoil you. I'll be so selfless you won't even recognize me," she added. Again she leaned over to kiss her sister. "I love you, Piper. Whatever you need, okay? We'll get you through this," she assured.

Gaining a little confidence, Piper was able to nod. She focused intently on her sister and let Phoebe talk her through the examination. Then it was time for the photographs, and Piper had to remove her gown and stand, naked and vulnerable, for the camera. The doctor suggested that they take more pictures in the next couple of days, to show the bruising at it's most dramatic. The doctor and nurse left them, then, and Piper dressed in the clothes that Phoebe had packed. Once again they sat on the examination table together, and Piper leaned heavily against her sister while they waited for the police.

Both cried constantly through the whole experience, and several times Piper turned without thinking and dried her tears on Phoebe's shoulder. Piper hadn't said a word since they'd entered the hospital, and now Phoebe tried to get her talking.

"Sweetie, you're going to have to talk to the police," she warned quietly. Piper just nodded hesitantly. "Come on, Piper. Talk to me. Say something," Phoebe encouraged. Piper didn't make a sound. "Something simple, honey. Tonight we'll send Prue out for ice cream. What flavor do you want?" she asked.

Piper swallowed hard, then said quietly, "Pistachio."

Phoebe smiled at her. "Okay. Good. What's the first thing you want to do when we get home?" she pushed.

"Have a bath and put on my jammies and go to bed," Piper whispered. "And I want you to come with me."

Phoebe kissed her. "Absolutely," she promised. "I'm going to stay so close you're going to want to kill me." Piper shook her head. "You might have to tell us what you need, honey. Some of it we can figure out, and some we can't, so you have to decide right now that you'll tell us, okay?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah," Piper nodded. She drew away a little, then, and looked at her sister. "Phoebe, I could be pregnant," she said quietly. "I could have syphilis or something," she said, her expression pained.

"The doctor will give you prescriptions; you'll be fine. He can give you the Morning After Pill right now, here, in the hospital, and a course of antibiotics for prevention," Phoebe assured. "Don't worry, okay? Just concentrate on taking care of yourself. We can handle whatever comes up, but only you can tell us how you're doing inside," she reasoned. "So you have to pay attention, listen to yourself. I want you to take some time off, Piper. A few weeks," Phoebe told her sister.

Piper shook her head. "If I don't go back right away I'm afraid I never will," she said, breaking down again.

Once again Phoebe pulled her close. "You can go back in daylight," she bargained. "With me and Prue, and with no staff or customers to worry about. You can go back just for yourself. But you need to take some time to heal, honey. If you rush it you'll fall apart," she warned sadly. They were quiet for a few minutes, and then Phoebe said, "You know, Piper, you don't have to go back at all. We can sell the club. I know you don't want to; I know it's your baby. But if it's too painful for you to be there, you have options. If you can't feel safe and comfortable there, it's got to go," she reasoned.

Again Piper shook her head. "No, Phoebe. No. What if I'd been raped in the Manor? Would we have to sell our home? Our great-grandparents' home?"

"Maybe," Phoebe nodded, and shrugged. "Piper, it's just a building, okay? It's just a business. Your safety is so much more important," she insisted. She could see that Piper was skeptical, and she went on. "Honey, we need you. Prue and I need you safe and sane. Without you we have nothing; we don't even have each other. So I'm going to make sure you're okay, and if that means the club has to go…well, that's one of the easiest decisions I'll ever make," she said.

Piper was still considering this when the door opened and two female police officers entered the room.

After the initial introductions, the officers started asking questions, and Piper told her story. Even though she'd already seen it, listening to Piper describe the rape was almost unbearable for Phoebe. She had to keep reminding herself that if she couldn't stand to hear it, she couldn't expect Piper to survive living it. They both managed to stay strong, and finally it was over. The police left, the nurse brought Piper's prescriptions along with the doctor's promise to contact her when all the test results were in, and they were free to leave.

* * *

It was eleven o'clock in the morning by the time Phoebe pulled the Cherokee up in front of the house. Just as she had at the hospital, she got out first and went around to get her sister. She took Piper by the hand and led her up the stairs and inside.

They had no sooner stepped inside than they heard their sister call out from the kitchen: "Where have you two been?" she demanded. Prue walked into the foyer looking both angry and worried. She saw the expressions on her sisters' faces, saw Piper's tears and her trembling, and stopped in her tracks. "What's wrong? What happened?" she asked quickly.

Phoebe turned to Piper and squeezed her hand.

"Will you…?" Piper asked her quietly. Phoebe just nodded. She squeezed Piper's hand again, then released it, and Piper went upstairs.

Phoebe watched Piper go, then turned to Prue. "Come," she said quietly, and went into the parlor. Prue followed.

Phoebe took a seat on the couch and gestured to her sister to join her. Prue did so, and Phoebe took her hands. Suddenly exhausted, Phoebe once again started to cry.

"What?" Prue asked insistently.

"Piper was raped last night," Phoebe said regretfully.

"What?" Prue asked again, her voice barely a whisper. "No. How…?" she asked, disbelieving.

"At the club after closing," Phoebe told her quietly. "She sent everyone home. He must have been hiding in the washroom," she explained.

"Phoebe," Prue whispered. "Is she…"

"She'll be okay. We'll take care of her," Phoebe promised.

"We have to…we have to go to the police, the hospital," Prue stammered.

Phoebe nodded. "We just came from there," she assured. "They gave her the Morning After Pill and a course of antibiotics in case he had anything… an STD - you know. And she gave a statement to the police," she explained.

"But Pheebs, did he… I mean, is she hurt?" Prue asked, realizing as she did so what a stupid question it was.

"Yeah," Phoebe nodded. "He knocked her around pretty badly. She's… well, she's going to be sore. But that's the least of it, Prue. She's going to need a lot from us. All the support we can give her. And anger isn't part of that. Okay?" she pressed gently. Prue started to get defensive, but Phoebe released one of her hands to touch her cheek, and Prue relaxed. "I'm not telling you not to be angry, Prue. Just… keep it away from Piper, okay? She can't handle it right now. She needs to be sad first," Phoebe explained cautiously.

Slowly Prue nodded. Then she said, very quietly and hesitantly, "Phoebe, he could have AIDS."

Her eyes filling with fresh tears, Phoebe nodded. "Yeah. It's too soon to show up in a blood test, so they won't even screen for it right now. She has to go back in two weeks, and again in three months and six months. I don't think that part even registered with her; she couldn't hear it. And that's okay with me; she doesn't need to be worrying about that," she reasoned, attempting to be tough.

They were quiet for a few moments, and then Prue asked, "How did you… did she call, or…?"

Phoebe shook her head. "She came home and woke me. I think she wanted to go to bed without telling anyone, but she couldn't do it. She came into my room and woke me and when I touched her I saw it," Phoebe explained.

Prue recognized Phoebe's pain and tightened her grip on her little sister's hands. "Pheebs," she said quietly.

Phoebe's eyes dropped. "It was so violent, Prue. He really hurt her. And I can't stop thinking that I should have been there, that if I'd just made an effort to see her yesterday, to touch her, I could have seen it before it happened instead of after and I could have stopped it," she gushed. Her tears were flowing freely again.

Prue shook her head slowly. "Phoebe, don't do that to yourself. You can't make yourself responsible for this. Piper knows you'd do anything for her; if you'd had any idea she was in danger you'd have been there," Prue insisted. After a moment she went on: "And I know you'd rather be hurt yourself than see her hurt."

Exhausted, Phoebe let herself lean over until her head rested in Prue's lap. "It's not fair, Prue. We save other people all the time; why can't we save each other?" she wondered.

"We do," Prue countered. She stroked her sister's hair. "Every day. She came to you last night because she knew you could help her."

Again they were quiet for a minute or two, and then Phoebe asked, without lifting her head, "Are you offended, Prue? That she came to me and not you?"

Prue smiled to herself. "A little," she admitted. "But I understand it. I would have handled it badly; I'd have iced over. And at the hospital I'd have been yelling at everyone. She needed someone who could cry with her," she reasoned.

"Now who's beating herself up?" Phoebe asked quietly.

"I'm not, Pheebs. I'm just being realistic. I'm fine in a crisis as long as it doesn't affect me personally, but the minute my own emotions come into it I shut down. I mean, look at me, I'm such a coward I don't even want to see Piper," she confessed.

Phoebe sat up again and looked at her seriously. "You don't want to, but you will," she reminded. "Prue, no one likes to see someone they love in pain. It's hard. But you'll come through for her," she assured.

Prue didn't respond, and after a minute or two Phoebe got to her feet. "I'm going to check on her. Are you coming?"

Prue shook her head slowly. "She doesn't want to see me."

"Prue - " Phoebe began, but her sister interrupted her.

"No, Phoebe, I know this. You take care of her for now. Get her settled in, and when she's relaxed… when no one's hysterical… just - tell me when she's ready, and I'll come. You'll know when," Prue insisted. She saw Phoebe's hesitation and added, "I can't help her now."

"Right," Phoebe said dejectedly. She got up, released Prue's hand, and went upstairs without another word.

At the top of the stairs, in the hallway, Phoebe sat on the floor, her back to the wall, and broke down. She sobbed violently but silently for five minutes, and then she wiped her face, got up, and knocked on the bathroom door. "Piper? Can I come in?" she asked.

"Yeah," Piper responded.

Phoebe opened the door, slipped inside, and closed the door behind her. She sat on the floor next to the tub, facing her sister. "How are you?" she asked quietly.

Piper's expression became strained and she started to tremble again. "I can't get clean," she whispered. "I want to put bleach in the water."

Phoebe draped one arm over the side of the tub and let her fingers trail in the water. "It's hot," she said quietly.

"Not hot enough," Piper countered.

"Piper, he can't taint you," Phoebe assured. "You're the same person you were before: you're strong and good and kind. Nothing anyone else does to you can change that," she promised. She held out her hand, and Piper took it. "Are you ready to get out?" Phoebe asked.

Piper nodded. "Will you get my pajamas?" she asked. Phoebe nodded, got up, and left the room.

* * *

In a few minutes they were in Piper's room. Piper was under the covers, propped up on all the pillows from both their beds. Phoebe sat at the foot of the bed with her arms wrapped around her knees, facing her sister.

"Thanks for dealing with Prue," Piper said quietly.

"Do you want to see her?" Phoebe asked hopefully. Piper hesitated. "She's okay. She's not going to freak out. It's okay if you don't want to, Piper, but I think the longer you wait the weirder it's going to be for both of you," Phoebe reasoned.

Piper nodded slowly. "I know it's neurotic, but I feel like I'm letting her down," she said honestly. Phoebe winced, and her hand went to her mouth. She shook her head. Piper continued: "It wasn't supposed to be like this, you know?"

Phoebe shook her head. "It's not like this. Something terrible has happened, Piper, but it doesn't change all the good things that have happened." Phoebe saw that her sister was unconvinced. She rocked forward onto her knees and crawled to the other end of the bed, where she sat facing Piper. Once again she took Piper's hand, and she held it between both of her own. "This is going to fade," she promised. "It'll take time, and you'll have days when it seems so hard… but it will fade, and good things will happen. And we can give ourselves credit for the good things without blaming ourselves for the bad things, okay?" she insisted.

They were quiet for a moment, and then Piper asked cautiously, "Phoebe, did this happen to you?"

Phoebe dismissed her sister's question with an absent wave of her hand. "I'm going to get Prue, okay?" she asked. Piper hesitated, then nodded.

Phoebe slipped off the bed and out of the room, and in a few seconds Prue entered. "Hey," she greeted her sister.

"Hey," Piper returned, making an effort to smile.

Prue crossed the room slowly and sat on the edge of the bed. "How are you?" she asked.

"I'm okay. Tired," Piper said, and shrugged.

"What can I do?" Prue asked.

Piper smiled genuinely this time, and grasped Prue's hand. "You're doing it," she assured. "Having you here reminds me who I am," she added.

Prue raised her brows suspiciously. "What does that mean?"

"You're my history, Prue. I see my whole life when I look at you," Piper explained.

"That's so sweet," Prue said.

"It's the truth," Piper insisted. They were quiet for a few moments, watching each other, and then Piper asked, "What's Phoebe doing?"

"I think she's making tea," Prue said.

"Is she okay?" Piper asked.

Prue shrugged. "Yeah. Sure. I mean, she's sad but, well, you know how tough she is. She just wants to take care of you," she said.

Piper was unconvinced, but she didn't argue.

"I'm sorry I'm not more help, Piper," Prue said quietly.

Piper frowned. "Prue," she protested. "You are. Listen, you've got to let go of this competition with Phoebe. You both help, just differently. And I need both of you," she assured. Prue looked skeptical. "Phoebe helps me break down; you help put me back together," Piper explained. "You're two sides of the same coin, and I need both."

Prue shook her head, but smiled. "You're full of crap," she countered. "Move over," she insisted. Piper moved over to give Prue some of the pillows, and Prue sat close to her. Piper let her head fall to Prue's shoulder. Prue took both her sister's hands. "I know I'm not very good at this, Piper, but I'll do anything. If you want to tell me about what happened… I can listen. Just… let me know what you need."

"This," Piper said quietly. "This is what I need," she assured.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes. Prue focused on their clasped hands while Piper closed her eyes, trying to relax.

When Phoebe entered with the teapot and cups on a tray, she saw her sisters and smiled. She put the tray down on Piper's dresser. "Is she asleep?" she whispered.

"No. She's not," Piper answered, and opened her eyes.

"Do you want to be?" Phoebe asked.

Piper shook her head. "Not yet," she said.

Phoebe poured tea for her sisters and handed them each a cup. Then she poured her own and sat at the foot of the bed.

"Mmm. Licorice," Piper said appreciatively, and sipped her tea. She lowered her cup, then, and looked at her sisters in turn. "I don't know what I'd do without you guys," she said honestly.

Phoebe smiled at her. "You'll never have to find out, baby," she promised.

After a few minutes Prue found an excuse to leave. Phoebe took her place next to Piper, and they finished their tea. Then Piper slid down under the covers. Phoebe stretched out next to her, propped up on one elbow, and traced her sister's spine with her fingertips until Piper fell asleep.

When she was sure that her sister was out, Phoebe rolled onto her back. Despite her exhaustion, she knew she wouldn't sleep. With her sister safe, she allowed her mind to go where it had been trying to go for hours: to that night in New York, almost four years earlier.

* * *

Piper slept through the afternoon and evening, and finally woke just after midnight. She opened her eyes to see Phoebe in lotus position, bent over, her back straight and her forehead resting comfortably on the bed. She recognized the yoga asana immediately as the one Phoebe had always retreated to in times of stress, even when she was a child and knew nothing of yoga.

For a few moments Piper just watched her sister, and then she sat up and rested her hand on Phoebe's back.

Phoebe turned her head without sitting up. "Hey," she said quietly, and smiled.

"Hey," Piper returned. "Are you okay?" Phoebe just nodded. "Are you sure?" Piper pushed.

"Yeah. Are you?" Phoebe asked.

In response, Piper pulled her own feet up under her, and leaned over to face Phoebe. She couldn't get into full lotus, but otherwise she was quite comfortable sitting there folded in half. "Pheebs, I know something's going on with you. This has triggered something. Why don't you just tell me?" she pushed gently.

Still smiling, Phoebe reached out and touched her sister's cheek. "We need to focus on you now, okay? I'm fine," she insisted.

After a moment's thought, Piper shook her head. "Phoebe, I need to know," she countered. "If you were raped, I have to hear how you handled it," she insisted.

Phoebe sat up slowly, and her sister did the same. Phoebe winced and turned away, realizing that she hadn't succeeded in shielding her sister. "It's so long ago," she said quietly.

"I need to hear," Piper reiterated.

For a moment Phoebe just sat there, her face turned away from her sister. Then, hesitantly, she turned. She looked her sister straight in the eye. "This shouldn't be about me," she argued weakly.

"It's about all of us," Piper reminded.

Slowly, Phoebe nodded. She took her sister's hands in her own. "First, Piper, I want you to know that I'm okay. Really. It was a long time ago, and I was alone then, but I'm not alone anymore. Everything's different now, and I'm fine," she insisted. Piper just nodded encouragingly. "Okay," Phoebe said then, stalling. She took a deep, shaky breath, let it out, and nodded with determination. "I'd only been in New York a few weeks," she began. She couldn't look at her sister; she focused on their hands. "I was on my way home. It was late; I was stupid. I'd been out dancing, and I think he followed me. He came from behind and pulled me down an alley. I never saw his face, but he smelled like someone I knew from the clubs," Phoebe said distantly. She was quiet for a few seconds, and then she went on, more purposefully. "I did everything wrong, Piper. I went home and had a shower. I tossed my clothes in the garbage chute. I didn't tell anyone, just stayed in bed for three days and then pretended nothing had happened. My roommate, god, we hardly knew each other, she just thought I had cramps or something. And then two weeks later another girl was raped, and I went to the police and made a statement, but even if it was the same guy, they couldn't make a connection because I'd destroyed all the evidence. I just…" she finally looked at her sister. "I'm sorry I pushed so hard last night, Piper, but I couldn't let you make the same mistakes," she said regretfully.

Tears in her eyes, Piper nodded. "It's okay. You were right," she whispered. "Phoebe… you never told us?" she asked, her voice strained.

"I couldn't," Phoebe said, and shrugged. "I thought Prue would just gloat. I know it's ridiculous, but I had no faith in her then. And you… Piper, I just didn't want to be wrong about leaving. For whatever reason, I needed to be on my own then. I couldn't admit, even to you, that anything had gone wrong. And then it just… it was in the past. It was over," she reasoned.

"Until now," Piper inferred.

Phoebe shrugged, attempting a smile. "Yeah. I've been thinking about it," she admitted, obviously trying to diminish the experience.

"Phoebe, I can't believe you went through this on your own," Piper said honestly. "I couldn't do it."

"Yes you could," Phoebe nodded certainly. "You don't have to," she added.

Piper lowered her eyes thoughtfully and was quiet for a moment. Then she looked up again. "I think I remember. You avoided my calls for a few weeks," she said, looking distressed. Phoebe nodded. One of Piper's hands went to her temple. "I'm so sorry. I should have known something was wrong," she said, sadness in her voice.

"Piper, I didn't want you to know," Phoebe insisted. "I didn't want to be the stupid sister who ran off to Manhattan and-oh!-look what happened. Serves her right," she tried to explain.

"Phoebe!" Piper protested.

"Piper, I just…" Phoebe didn't know how to finish. She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned over again. She spoke into the duvet: "I wasn't thinking clearly. I know better now, but I'm telling you what was going through my head at the time. I was alone. But that's over now and…this is what I tried to tell you: we have to focus on you. What happened to me three and a half years ago isn't important," she insisted.

Piper reached out again and placed her hand deliberately between Phoebe's shoulder blades. "It's important," she said quietly.

They were still for a few minutes, and then Phoebe again turned to face her sister without sitting up. "How did you know?" she asked cautiously.

"You just understood so well," Piper reasoned, and she shrugged. "You knew everything that was going to happen at the hospital, and you seemed to know everything I was thinking and feeling. You knew what I needed," she said, and shrugged again.

Slowly Phoebe sat up again. She looked at her sister demandingly. "I'm okay. Okay?" she pushed.

"Okay," Piper nodded.

"Good. Now, can you go back to sleep? Because I'm kind of tired," Phoebe said. Piper nodded. "Good."

They both lay down again, and this time Phoebe had every intention of sleeping. They spooned, Phoebe's arm draped over her sister, their hands clasped over Piper's heart.

They were silent for a minute or two, and then Phoebe whispered, "I'm glad you made me tell you." Piper just gripped her hand tighter.

* * *

When Phoebe woke the sky was just beginning to lighten, and the first thing she recognized was Prue sitting in the window seat. Carefully she extricated herself from Piper's grasp and sat up. Prue got up, rounded the bed, and sat down next to her youngest sister.

Without a word, Prue reached out and wiped away the tears that Phoebe didn't even know she had cried. Phoebe grasped her sister's hand and held it tight.

For a few moments they just sat there, and then Prue got to her feet. Understanding, Phoebe followed suit, and they left Piper asleep in her bed. Prue led Phoebe down the hall to her own room, and they sat side by side on the bed.

Without even realizing what was happening, still half asleep, Phoebe collapsed into her big sister's arms. She wept a little, but mostly she relaxed, both physically and emotionally. She felt safe. She stopped worrying about Piper, and everyone else, and indulged in herself. Prue asked nothing of her, just held her with the warmth and acceptance of a parent.

After a few minutes, Phoebe pulled away. She slid back further onto the bed and lay down, almost in fetal position, facing her sister. Prue turned around and sat cross-legged.

"She's been sleeping for so long," Prue said quietly.

Phoebe nodded. "She needs sleep. It's sanctuary; she's healing," she said quietly.

"She's going to be okay?" Prue asked.

Again Phoebe nodded. "Yes," she said doubtlessly. "She knows who she is," she added.

"Are you okay?" Prue wondered.

Phoebe smiled. "I'm fine," she assured. "You know that."

"She was worried about you," Prue explained.

For a few moments they were silent, and then Phoebe sat up slowly. She watched Prue for awhile, thoughtfully, then nodded to herself with determination. "I have to tell you something," she said. Prue's brows rose, but she said nothing. Phoebe went on: "I wasn't going to, but I know Piper will make me tell you, so I might as well do it now and avoid the drama," she said, and smiled.

Prue didn't smile; she was getting worried.

Phoebe forced herself to look her sister in the eye. "Not long after I got to New York I was raped," she said. She continued without hesitation: "I didn't go to the police right away, and I think another girl was raped because I didn't. Maybe more than one. I totally screwed up," Phoebe said matter-of-factly. Her voice was steady; only her fidgeting betrayed her anxiety. "By the time I went to the police it was too late, and I was just lucky I didn't get sick. I didn't tell anyone. Piper figured it out and made me tell her last night, but I didn't want you to know…." her voice trailed off.

Prue couldn't open her mouth for fear of what might come out. Her hands trembling, she reached for Phoebe's hands.

"I'm only telling you this because I have to," Phoebe insisted. "Because if she doesn't know I told you, she'll get stuck. So… I'm fine. Piper knows and now you know and it's not an issue. We can focus on her," she reasoned.

For another moment Prue was silent; then she said, quietly, "Phoebe."

"I'm fine."

"Come here." Prue reached for her sister and pulled her insistently into her arms. Phoebe resisted a little at first, but then dissolved. She melted. For the first time, she cried for herself. She mourned the self she'd never admitted losing. Prue held her tight, feeling like a bit of a disaster herself, and let her little sister fall apart.

A half-hour later Phoebe was lying with her head in Prue's lap, her knees pulled up to her chest. She sniffled a little, and shuddered, but she was coming back. After a few more minutes she laughed quietly at herself. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm not so fine," she admitted.

"You're totally fine," Prue assured her, pushing her bangs back gently. "This must be so hard for you: seeing Piper hurt and dealing with your own stuff at the same time," she said quietly.

Phoebe turned her head to look up at her sister. "Don't tell her about this, okay?" she asked quietly. "She doesn't need to know how long it's going to stay with her," she reasoned.

Prue nodded her agreement. "Do you think about it a lot?" she asked, almost seeming to dread the answer.

"Not so much anymore," Phoebe said, trying to sound optimistic. "At first it was there all the time. For months I couldn't be alone at all. It's been better since I came home; now it's just once in a while, if I hear something on the news or some guy gives me a look I don't like."

"I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't come home," Prue said regretfully. "That was my fault."

Phoebe rolled onto her back, looking straight up at her sister. "Don't say that, Prue. We were both so stubborn," she reminded. "I could have come home; I was just too busy feeling superior."

Prue smiled. "Well, hell. You were twenty-one; it was your job to feel superior," she reasoned. "Are you going to be okay? I mean, can you handle this? Piper and everything?"

Phoebe nodded. "Yup," she confirmed. "Thanks for letting me lose it; I guess I needed to."

"Hey, anytime," Prue promised. "You need someone to hold your hair while you puke or watch you cry, I'm your girl."

Phoebe reached up and touched Prue's cheek. "I have to go back," she said, a little regretfully. "I don't want her to wake up alone."

"I'll go," Prue volunteered. "You stay here and rest."

Phoebe smiled thankfully but shook her head. "I told her I'd stay. Besides, if I'm not there she'll think I'm not okay," she reasoned. Prue gave her a chastising look. "I'll come clean when she's stronger. Right now we need to protect her a little," she insisted.

"You don't think she's going to notice?" Prue asked doubtfully.

"Not if I can help it," Phoebe said. She sat up. "Coming?" she asked.

"I think I'll cook; we'll have to try to get her to eat something when she wakes," she said.

Phoebe frowned at her. "Cook what, Prue? She'll eat cereal like always," she reasoned.

Prue shrugged guiltily. "I have to do something," she responded simply.

Phoebe nodded. She got to her feet and started to leave, then stopped and turned around. She leaned over and kissed Prue's head. "Thanks, sis," she said quietly, and went back to Piper's room.

Piper was still asleep, but had stretched out on her stomach, limbs reaching in every direction to take advantage of having the bed to herself. Phoebe smiled to see this, taking it as a sign that her sister was relaxed and secure. She went to her own room to get a textbook and high lighter, then settled in the window seat in Piper's room to read. It wasn't long, though, before Piper's sleep became restless and fitful. Phoebe watched for a few moments, at first thinking that her sister was waking. When she saw Piper's troubled expression, though, she put her book down and climbed onto the bed. Kneeling, she placed her hands gently on Piper's shoulders.

"NO!" Piper screamed. She turned over fast, her arms thrashing, waking herself up.

"I'm sorry!" Phoebe said, withdrawing her hands quickly and sitting back. "Piper…" She saw that her sister was awake, but terrified. "Piper, I'm sorry. It's just me," she said fearfully. Piper's expression of terror faded a little as she recognized her sister, and then she dissolved into tears, her hands over her face. "Piper," Phoebe said again, her voice barely a whisper.

Phoebe lay down on her side next to her sister again, propped up with her head in one hand. She didn't try to pull Piper's hands away from her face, but she touched her forehead gently, then rested her hand on Piper's stomach. "Sweetie, it's okay. You were dreaming; I scared you," she said apologetically. "I'm sorry. It's my fault. I forgot," she insisted.

Phoebe waited a minute or two, and when Piper still hadn't uncovered her eyes, she reached up cautiously. She didn't grasp Piper's hand or try to force her, because she wasn't yet convinced that her sister was fully awake. She just touched Piper's hands gently with her fingertips, tracing the fragile bones and tendons. "Come on, honey. I know you're in there," she encouraged.

For another minute Piper was absolutely still. Then she lowered her hands to expose tightly-closed eyes, and she rolled onto her side, burying her face under Phoebe's chin. Phoebe just put an arm around Piper and rubbed her back warmly, then tilted her head down to kiss the top of Piper's head. "You're okay, Piper," she assured quietly.

They were quiet for awhile longer, and then Piper said, her voice muffled, "I'm losing my mind."

"No," Phoebe insisted, shaking her head. "You're not. You're grieving, Piper; you know what that's like. You're doing fine."

Her voice childlike and small, Piper said, "Phoebe, help me."

Again Phoebe was suddenly fighting tears. "I'm trying, baby. Believe me," she promised. She bent her head down to kiss her sister again. "I'm trying," she whispered, as much to herself as to Piper.

After a long while, Piper was able to relax. She rolled onto her back again and took in Phoebe's pained expression. She found Phoebe's hand and held it tight. "I'm sorry," she said. "I know you're trying. And I'm being so hard on you." Phoebe could only shake her head helplessly. Piper winced and turned away for a moment, but forced herself to turn back. "If I could tell you what I needed, I know you'd do it. I just… I can't think. But I know you're hurting, Pheebs; I know how hard this is for you." Phoebe nodded, believing her.

For a few minutes they just lay there, and then Phoebe sat up. "Come with me," she said. She got to her feet and nodded firmly. Reluctantly, Piper got up out of bed. Phoebe took her hand and led her downstairs, through the foyer, and out the front door. The morning was clear and bright and perfect. Phoebe sat down on a step near the top and looked up at her sister. Piper sat next to her, and for a few moments they just looked out over the city and the bay.

Phoebe held her sister's hand tight between both of her own. Their shoulders were touching, and Piper leaned on her a little. "See?" Phoebe asked. "It's all still out there. Everything's changed and nothing's changed. Everything that was possible two days ago is still possible today. You're in pain now, but you still have the whole world in front of you, and this view-this view that we've been staring at in amazement and ignoring completely our entire lives-is still here. And it'll be here tomorrow and the next day and the next, but it'll never look exactly like it does right now," she told her sister.

They were silent for a short time more, and then Phoebe turned to face her sister. "Today is one day, Piper, and it bites, but it's a helluva lot better than yesterday, and tomorrow will be a helluva lot better than today," she reminded. She reached up and gently pushed her sister's hair behind her ear. "It's just a day," she insisted.

After a few seconds, Piper nodded with determination.

Phoebe smiled at her.

Piper looked at her for a while, and then her brow furrowed as Phoebe's smile became more and more comic. Finally she asked, "What?"

Phoebe broke, her smile becoming an apologetic laugh. "I should have let you brush your hair before we came out here," she said, and as Piper got up to hurry back inside, Phoebe could only reach for her helplessly.

For a moment Phoebe turned back to look out at the familiar, ever-changing vista. Then she got up and followed her sister inside.

* * *

Piper had entered the kitchen, but hadn't got much beyond the threshold. She was standing, stunned, trying to take in the disaster area that was her domain. Prue was at the stove stirring something. The sink was full of dirty pots, and the counters were completely covered with jars, bowls, and tupperware containers in varying degrees of fullness. Something reddish was splattered on virtually all the cabinets. As Phoebe walked up behind her and stood looking over her shoulder, Piper attempted to speak: "What… what…" she stammered.

Prue turned, saw her, and smiled. "Hi. I'm cooking," she said cheerfully.

"But Prue… I don't… what…?" she tried again.

"I thought it would be good to have some stuff in the freezer, so we don't have to worry about meals for awhile," Prue said, sounding perfectly reasonable despite being covered in several kinds of sauce.

Piper was recovering a little. "But Prue," she said again. "You only cook two things, and we can't eat spaghetti and tacos forever," she protested.

Still standing behind her, Phoebe unsuccessfully tried to stifle a laugh.

"Don't be silly," Prue countered. "You have all these books. I made lots of things," she assured. She stood there smiling, pleased with herself, for another moment, then turned back to her project.

Phoebe put her arms around Piper from behind, rested her chin on Piper's shoulder, and whispered, "Don't sweat it, kid. She'll clean up after herself, and I'm sure some of it will be edible, and whatever's inedible we'll discreetly dispose of. She'll forget all about this by tomorrow." She released Piper then, and spoke in a normal voice. "Come and have breakfast," she insisted.

Phoebe led Piper to a seat at the table and without too much difficulty brought two bowls, a box of cereal, and a carton of milk to the table. Then with considerably more difficulty she cleaned the splatters off the kettle and plugged it in for tea. When the tea was made, she joined Piper at the table.

Prue had brought the morning paper in hours earlier, and Piper automatically opened it up on the table and read the front page thoroughly. Phoebe pulled her feet up on her chair and sat back with her tea, watching Piper. Already she looked better, more relaxed. Her colour was returning, and some of the tension had left her face. She actually looked quite beautiful, Phoebe thought.

When Piper turned to the Entertainment section, Phoebe put her cup down. "Can I trust you two on your own long enough to have a shower?" she asked. Prue turned, looking confused, but Piper smirked at her and nodded. "Good." Phoebe got up and went upstairs.

Piper turned back to the newspaper, but after a minute or two she looked up again. "Prue?" she said. Prue turned to face her. "Did Phoebe talk to you?" she asked. Her expression serious, Prue nodded. "So she told you?" Piper asked.

"Yeah," Prue confirmed.

"Do you think she's okay?"

"Yeah, Piper, I do," Prue assured.

"Okay," Piper nodded, mostly to herself.

Piper went back to the paper, and Prue turned to pull a tray of something from the oven.

* * *

Unable to bear what was happening in and to her kitchen, Piper took the newspaper and moved to the parlor. She curled up at one end of the couch, finished the Entertainment section and moved on to Culture.

Phoebe was upstairs for almost an hour, and when she came down she looked revitalized in bare feet, drawstring pants and a clean cotton t-shirt. She sat on the couch with her sister. Piper looked at her, and after a moment they both smiled tiredly.

"I want to go to P3," Piper said quietly.

Phoebe watched her for a moment, then nodded. "Okay," she agreed. "When?"

"Now."

"You get dressed; I'll get Prue," Phoebe volunteered. She got up without hesitation and left the room.

She crossed the kitchen and leaned against the counter next to her sister. "Are you almost done?" she asked.

Prue had started the cleanup but still had something in the oven. "Not really. Why?"

"We have to take Piper to the club. She wants to go, and I said we'd both go with her," Phoebe explained.

Prue nodded. She turned to look at the controls on the oven. "Does this thing have a-like-auto-whatever?" she asked.

Smiling, Phoebe nodded. "How long?"

"Another twenty-five minutes," Prue told her.

Phoebe set the stop-time on the oven and turned back to her sister with a smirk.

"You're sure?" Prue asked skeptically, still staring at the timer.

Phoebe didn't bother to answer; she knew her sister had no faith in machines. "Go fix yourself; you look like the Swedish Chef," she said.

Prue went upstairs. Phoebe went back to the parlor and turned on the TV, but she only had to wait five minutes before both her sisters were ready to go.

Twenty minutes later Prue took the keys from Piper's trembling hands and opened the door to the nightclub. They went inside and descended the stairs slowly, Piper leading and her sisters following close behind. Piper walked to the centre of the floor, then stopped and turned around slowly until she faced Phoebe and Prue. "It looks just the same," she said, sounding baffled. "I don't know what I expected."

"Are you okay?" Prue asked. Piper nodded vaguely in response, continuing to look around.

Piper walked slowly toward the bar, and Prue followed. For a few minutes Prue just shadowed her sister as Piper wandered, seemingly aimlessly, around her place of business. When Piper cautiously reached out to touch the section of the bar that her attacker had pressed her against, it meant nothing to Prue, but Phoebe winced and turned away.

Piper walked around to the end and ducked under the bar, trying to get comfortable there. That's when she saw Phoebe, standing on the dance floor, looking terrified. "Pheebs?" she asked.

Phoebe swallowed, then nodded, acknowledging her own discomfort. "I don't want to touch anything," she admitted.

Piper just nodded, understanding, but Prue pushed it: "Why not? You might see something that could help us identify him, find him," she insisted.

Again Phoebe swallowed. "Premonitions aren't valid in court, Prue. If the law can't get him…"

Piper finished for her: "We don't need another Cal Greene."

Phoebe nodded.

"But Phoebe if we can come up with a description there must be some way-"

"I can't do it!" Phoebe cut Prue off.

"Prue, I already told the police that I can't identify him," Piper reasoned. "We can't manufacture a witness. If he gets away with it, we all have to live with that, and the last thing Phoebe needs is to know who he is and be unable to do anything about it."

"But listen," Prue said, focusing her argument on Phoebe, moving across the floor toward her youngest sister. "If you can see him, describe him, maybe Piper will remember him. Maybe she saw him earlier. Maybe, god, maybe he was watching her; maybe someone else saw. Maybe you'll recognize him," she insisted.

"Then what, Prue?" Piper demanded, approaching from behind. "Then Phoebe goes to the police and tells them she saw the man who raped me, even though she was at home asleep at the time?"

"We'll come up with something," Prue insisted, looking from one sister to the other. "We'll lie to the police if we have to, say you remembered later," she suggested, looking at Piper pleadingly.

Phoebe's voice was quiet. "We'd just be creating reasonable doubt, Prue. It's not real evidence if we fake it; it won't stand up, and we'll end up watching him get acquitted," she reasoned. Her resolve was weakening.

"So what?" Prue asked. "At least we'll know we tried. We'll have done everything we could," she argued.

"Prue," Piper said insistently, and waited for her sister to face her. "It's not that simple. If we leave it to the law and he's acquitted," she shrugged, "that will be awful. But if we try this and he's acquitted, Phoebe's left with all that knowledge, all those pictures in her head. We can't let that happen," she said.

"Prue, please," Phoebe whispered, trembling again. "I need you to understand this. There's something in me. The part of me that killed Cal Greene is in here. If I know who this monster is, I don't know if I can let him live," she said pleadingly."

"This isn't the place for witchcraft," Piper said forcefully, taking Phoebe's hand and then Prue's. "We have to let the law do its thing, and if it fails us…well, we won't be the first," she insisted.

Prue obviously wasn't convinced by their arguments, but she couldn't fight with Piper. She gave them a reluctant nod.

"Piper?" Phoebe said quietly. Piper turned, and Phoebe raised her brows.

"I'm okay," Piper nodded. She released her sisters' hands and walked back over to the bar. "This is going to be fine," she said, mostly to herself. "I can do this."

"Not right away," Phoebe insisted.

Piper turned to smile at her. "Okay," she agreed. "I'll take a week," she bargained.

"Two," Phoebe countered.

Piper nodded. "Done," she confirmed.

"I'll look after the club," Phoebe told her. Piper looked at her doubtfully. "Well… maybe you can do the books and the ordering from home," she relented.

"Pheebs," Piper said. She waited, assuming that Phoebe would back out when she saw the opening, but she didn't. "You can't work every night and go to school all day. The staff can handle it," she said, sounding only a little doubtful. Then she shrugged, relenting. "You can make surprise visits so that new bouncer doesn't start letting in all the little girls," she suggested.

"I can do that," Phoebe nodded.

"Can we go home now?" Prue asked, obviously annoyed.

"Yes," Piper agreed immediately.

They locked up the club and headed home, Prue driving the Cherokee. Piper rode in the front, where Prue's irritation was almost tangible. As they pulled up in front of the Manor, Piper turned to Phoebe and cast her a 'yikes!' look. They went up the stairs, Prue taking them two at a time and her sisters following in her wake. Once inside Prue headed straight into the kitchen while Piper and Phoebe paused in the foyer to regroup.

"What's that about?" Piper asked quietly, gesturing after Prue. Phoebe just shrugged. "Should we try to talk to her?" she wondered.

After a moment Phoebe shook her head. "I will. She won't be able to be honest with you right now. If she needs to get mad, she can get mad at me," she reasoned. Piper looked doubtful, but Phoebe insisted. "Go upstairs; get out of the line of fire. I'll be up soon," she promised.

Piper went, and after taking a moment to gather her strength, Phoebe followed Prue into the kitchen.

Prue had taken some sort of casserole, which actually looked and smelled wonderful, from the oven to cool, and was loading the dishwasher.

"Don't turn it on yet, okay? I think Piper's going to shower," Phoebe said, trying not to sound demanding.

Prue stood up and kicked the dishwasher closed.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Phoebe asked cautiously. Prue didn't respond, kept her back to her sister. "Prue, what's wrong?" Phoebe pressed.

Prue turned, and Phoebe was surprised to see that she was crying. She said nothing, just avoided Phoebe's gaze.

"What?" Phoebe demanded, concerned.

Prue sat at the table and let her head fall into her hand. Phoebe waited, and after a minute or two Prue said, very quietly, "I feel so useless."

Phoebe sat across from Prue and waited for more.

"You know everything she's thinking, and she knows everything you need, and I'm always wrong. It's like you're talking in code and I'm just trying to figure out what's going on. It's like, christ, Phoebe, it's like watching a subtitled film with the wrong glasses; by the time I figure out what's happening I'm three scenes behind," she explained. "And I don't… god, I feel like I don't know either of you. I don't know anything."

"Prue," Phoebe said, attempting to be conciliatory. She took a few moments to think, then gave up. "You know what? I can't do this now. I can't sooth your ego. You're my sister and I love you, Prue. I just don't have the strength to have this conversation again right now. I'm sorry. We love you and we need you and if you want to slam doors all day, be my guest." She got up and left.

Phoebe got as far as the landing before she turned around and went back downstairs. She entered the kitchen again cautiously and found Prue still sitting there, her elbows on the table and her face in her hands. Phoebe walked up behind her and put her hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, and took the seat next to Prue. She grasped Prue's forearm gently. "Listen, honey, I know where this is coming from, and I understand it. I know you're hurting. It's just that… if you really want to change things, you have to stop hiding from us," she insisted.

They were still and silent for a time, and then Prue lowered her hands and turned to look at Phoebe demandingly. She said nothing, but she let Phoebe take her hand

"This is not the time to deal with this, Prue," Phoebe said gently. She shook her head. "This is…these are the dynamics of our family. It's the way we work. And when everything's going smoothly it works just fine. And if we want to make changes, we can do that, but not now; not while we're in crisis," she reasoned. She watched her sister closely, and when she saw Prue's expression open up a little, she smiled. "Can I tell you what I see?" she asked.

Prue nodded. Phoebe wasn't convinced, so Prue nodded again. "Yeah. Yes, please," she insisted.

"Okay," Phoebe agreed cautiously. "This is just what I see, Prue; it's not the whole truth, okay?" she asked, and waited for Prue's nod before continuing. "You want to be grown-up and in-charge and in-control, so you separate yourself from us. You take care of things. You like to see us happy and having fun, because then you know you're doing your job; all's right with the world. Everything's good. Prue's in charge; everything's running smoothly. The children are safe," she explained. Prue didn't respond, but she was listening intently. "When something goes wrong, you don't know where you fit anymore. Because obviously you're not in charge. So you back off. You separate yourself from us even more. Piper and I can turn to each other, but you're nowhere in sight. And we know that; we know from experience that you're not going to be there, so we don't even look for you anymore. And then things settle down, get a little calmer, and…"

"And I want to be in charge again," Prue filled in. She nodded slowly. "I know."

"Prue, whatever you might think or feel, we want you there. All the time," Phoebe insisted. "Sometimes we just can't reach you, and sometimes we don't have the energy to try, but we always want you," she promised.

They were quiet for awhile, but neither felt frustrated. Though there were no words, the conversation hadn't ended.

After what seemed a long time, Prue said quietly, "I never know what to say."

Phoebe smiled. "Nobody does," she promised. "There isn't anything to say. So you say what you feel," she reasoned. "But that takes practice. Mostly you say nothing, or nothing coherent. Do you really think I spoke in sentences when I saw Piper?" she asked.

Looking at the tabletop, Prue shook her head. "No."

"Sometimes the most eloquent thing you can say is nothing. Sometimes it's just presumptuous to open your mouth at all," Phoebe told her sister. "And-you know-you can do it. You were amazing this morning with me."

Again they were silent for a time, and then Prue turned to Phoebe with pain in her eyes. "Before you came home," she said slowly, and stopped to collect herself a little. After a few moments she went on: "Piper was alone," she concluded.

Phoebe winced. "Prue, she never doubted your love," she promised.

"But there must have been times… I know there were… she needed someone, and I couldn't-wouldn't-help," Prue inferred.

"Prue," Phoebe said insistently. She waited for her sister to face her, and then looked at her demandingly. "If you want to change this, the first thing you have to do is forgive yourself," she reasoned. She didn't wait for a response, but went on: "And the next thing you have to do is go upstairs and be with Piper. Whether you have something to say or not."

Thankfully, Prue nodded. She watched Phoebe for a moment, a little amazed, and then she got up and went upstairs. Phoebe rested for a minute or two, then got up and tackled the mess in the kitchen.