R.N. P.O.V.
By Miesque
miesque48@hotmail.com

DISCLAIMER: The nurses of Cook County General Hospital were created by and are owned by the incredibly wealthy PTB at NBC, Warner Brothers, Amblin Entertainment, and Constant C

SPOILERS: A few months after "May Day"

THANKS TO: Canada, for the idea

A lull in the evening shift. 

Well, it was a lull of sorts. Not much was happening. The board was clear, chairs was empty. Only two patients-a head wound and a man with a mysterious rash-were being tended to in the exam rooms. Carter and Malucci were taking advantage of the lull by sitting at the front desk, telling dumb jokes and arguing about the merits of Caribbean medical schools versus established American medical schools.

Haleh glanced up at the board, seeing who all was on call. Malucci, goofing off, gave her a kind of simpering smile when she glared at him, but Carter grinned. Dr. Weaver, crutching past the front desk toward her office, grabbed some charts at Haleh's elbow and cast a warning look at Carter and Malucci, who immediately straightened in their chairs and tried to look busy. It didn't work. 

"Where is Dr. Kovac?" Kerry asked sharply. 

"Crashed in exam two," Haleh answered. "Bad sinus headache." 

Haleh noticed a contemplative look-something like worry, perhaps-cross Kerry's face, then the ER chief nodded briefly and crutched toward her office. She had a lot of charts to go over before she got off at six.  

So it was remarkably quiet. No traumas coming in, everybody able to relax for a while. Haleh knew this as the 'calm before the storm'. But the storm could be hours away. Wednesday nights were like this sometimes. Very quiet, almost sad in a way. Then Thursday morning at six, all hell usually broke loose. That was why she was glad to know Dr. Kovac was getting some sleep at last. The poor man had been on his feet, with a terrible cold, for ten straight hours. 

Finding the front desk area too quiet, Haleh decided to take a short break for coffee and a light snack. 

The other nurses, finding nothing better to do, had gathered in the lounge, drinking coffee and discussing the day. Haleh pushed the door open, startling them. They expected-and feared-it was Dr. Weaver. Haleh was greeted with relieved smiles. Lydia and Chuny looked exhausted by the previous day's traumas. Conni, who had come on at nine that night, was studying herself in her compact mirror. Lydia laughed. "Conni, you're at least ten years younger than me. You always look good. So clap that thing shut before I smack you!" 

That elicited loud laughter from everyone, but the mood became quiet in a few moments. Conni noticed the picture of the Croatian coastline on Dr. Kovac's locker, and sighed.

"Dr. Kovac looks like hell," she said, shaking her head. "Did you know he hasn't had a single day off in four weeks?" 

Haleh shook her head. "I heard Weaver telling him to take time off and he refused. Can you believe that?" 

"He's workin' 'round the clock to forget. That's what he's doing," Conni said.  

"You mean Carol? Broke that poor man's heart," Haleh said, with a vaguely disapproving look. "Conni, you were there. Tell Lydia what that girl did to him." 

Conni looked at Lydia, and rolled her eyes. "Brace yourself. You're not gonna believe this."  

Lydia nodded, eager to hear the story, but not sure she wanted to hear it, in a way. So much had been going around the hospital about what had happened between Carol and Dr. Kovac. Lydia suspected that some of it was true. Still, rumor mills have been known to twist the truth. 

"Well," Conni began. "Remember the day Carol lit off for Seattle?" 

"Yeah." 

"Weaver had this DNR patient. Mrs. O'Neill. She had end-stage cancer, came in in pretty bad shape, not eating. But she was a DNR. So Kerry tells Carol to let her go back home to die in her own bed, right? Well, the husband wasn't ready to let her go, and Weaver had to talk him into respecting his wife's wishes. Carol decides to weigh in on the husband's side, Weaver tells her to cool it and gives the order to send her home-to set up home hospice care. Which is what Mrs. O'Neill wanted, right?" 

Lydia nodded, urging Conni to continue. 

"Now get this. Mrs O'Neill stops breathing. Mr. O'Neill-and we all understood this-isn't prepared for his wife to die. Their daughters hadn't had a chance to say goodbye. He pleads with Carol to revive her. Carol asks me to help her. I remind her the patient is DNR. She insists. I ask if she wants me to get Weaver. She says no. 'Get Kovac', she says, 'Tell him I need him'. I couldn't believe it. The whole hospital knew he was sweet on her." 

The nurses all stared at Conni, waiting for the final punch of the story. "So he comes in and sees what's happening, and when she says the woman is a DNR, he's like, 'Then let her go.' Then Carol looks him right in the eye and says, 'Her daughters haven't had a chance to say goodbye to their dying mother'." 

"You're kidding!" Lydia gasped. "Are you serious?" 

"I am as serious as can be." 

"You should have seen the expression on his face," Conni said. "He knew what she was doing to him, and you could tell how hurt he felt. But he did what she asked anyway." 

"Man, I used to like Carol a lot, but what she did to him...what a bitch." Chuny said, her Latin temper flaring. "You don't do that to someone you call a friend. But I'm glad he realized he had been used...he was so pissed at her, right Conni? And for good reason." 

"It's a good thing she left," Conni nodded. "'Cause after I saw what she did to him, I don't want to talk to her any more." She shook her head emphatically, curls bouncing. 

"And that's what always pissed me off," Haleh said. "She kept him to herself, alright. I remember when Abby started up here, as a med student. How Carol got all defensive about him when Abby asked if he was married. Why the hell should Carol care if Kovac was interested in somebody else, or if somebody was interested in him?!" 

"And that thing about how he 'doesn't talk about his personal life'," Haleh continued. "He doesn't talk about his personal life, but she's spreadin' everything she knows about him all over this hospital? Some friend she turned out to be to him!" 

"I saw him almost kiss her in the lounge once," Conni said, but her voice was sad, then angry. "She just...ohh...I just wanted to strangle her. She had Doug pining away for her in Seattle, and she had Luka at her feet, and she had the gall to look all put-upon?!" 

Chuny smiled. "I'd let him kiss me!" 

The nurses all laughed, but not happily.  

"Remember that week he was pulling double and triple shifts because of Kerry's suspension?" Chuny chimed in. "I remember one night, Carol had just been showing us pictures of the twins, and he came in...you showed them to him, Conni...and he looked so sad, after he left I remembered Carol had said something about his kids. I asked her about it and she just kind of shrugged...remember?" Chuny rolled her eyes, imitating Carol's smug expression. "I used to like Carol a lot, but after what she did to Dr. Kovac, I can live without ever seeing her again, too." 

"Oh, I'd like to see her again," Haleh said. "In a dark alley." 

"And she always did act like she had some kind of special access to him. That he was all hers, even though she was supposed to be madly in love with Doug," Chuny grumbled.  

Just then, the lounge door opened and Kerry came in. She had just gotten off, and was heading home. The nurses all watched her silently for a moment. Then Haleh cleared her throat. "Any new patients?" 

"No. Very quiet. Dr. Kovac is still asleep, though." She turned and looked at them for a moment. "Don't wake him unless you really have to." 

Haleh nodded, and the nurses all looked at each other for a moment. Kerry gathered her things and left. As soon as she was gone, they all exchanged glances again.  

"Remember how bonkers Weaver was the day Carol left?" Haleh asked. 

"Yep. 'Bonkers' is definitely the word. At first, I thought it was 'cause she was double-shifting for Mark, but I think there was more to it than that. I thought we were gonna need to call Animal Control," Lydia snorted, grinning at Haleh. 

"I know she was standin' nearby when we were talking about Luka givin' Carol those flowers," Haleh said.  

Lydia stared at Haleh for a moment. "Are you sayin' that Kerry has some kind of thing for Dr. Kovac?"

"Well, why not?" Haleh shrugged. "She thinks more highly of Dr. Kovac than any member of this staff. She treats him like an equal...but with kid gloves, you know what I mean." 

"We all do," Lydia said. "I know you're always bringin' him food, Haleh." 

"Can't help it," Haleh said. "He needs somebody to look after him. I had him over for supper one night. The kids all adored him, and he was so polite, but it didn't take long for him to start joking with my husband and with the kids." 

"I'm glad you did that," Chuny said. "He looks like he could use some meat on his bones...and some kindness." 

"Well, I'm trying," Haleh grinned. "That poor man-I doubt he sleeps much, and I really doubt he eats well. And it ain't necessarily Carol that's makin' him look so bad lately. It's other stuff." 

"Like that school shooting," Lydia said, shaking her head. "He comes from a country where they had a war on. Comes here to escape all that, and what happens? He gets caught in the cross-fire of a shoot-up! I don't think he even understands it. I doubt he even grasps the notion of putting a murderer ahead of a wounded kid. Medical ethics my ass. What about doin' what's right?" 

"I always wondered where those 'medical ethics' come from anyway. Whose ethics are they?" Haleh asked angrily. "And Dr. High and Mighty Benton havin' the gall to yell at him about that. But I doubt Peter knows that Luka's babies were killed. That man has an ego to rival Romano's!" 

"Did you say anything to him about it?" Chuny asked. "Dr. Benton, I mean?" 

"I raked him over the coals, the big bastard," Haleh said. "Peter needs to get over the color of his skin and realize that it ain't all that cut and dry." 

They all looked at Haleh for a moment, but Conni nodded in agreement. "And then that pregnant girl!" 

Chuny gasped in horror. "Dios Mio! I just couldn't believe it. Luka's tellin' her that her baby will die, and she says, 'But nothing bad will happen to me right?' She had no conscience at all! The look on his face then...he just couldn't believe what he was hearing, you know? I just know he was askin' himself, 'What planet did I land on?'" 

Everyone looked at each other sadly. Each of them, whether they had agreed with Luka's actions or not, felt a strong sympathy for the man.  

She continued. "I never saw a man so upset. He just couldn't grasp that somebody'd let their own baby die. Especially after his own babies were killed. Good thing Cleo was there, to stop him from doing the so-called 'wrong thing'." 

Haleh nodded. "Cleo could learn a lot from Luka...especially how to deal with kids. And she likes him anyway. Not in that way, but as a doctor. She's always been nice to him. Nobody else is." 

"Except us...and Weaver." Chuny said. "I was so angry at that girl. Can't help it-I'm Catholic, you know-I could tell how much poor Dr. Kovac loathed delivering that dead baby. You should have seen his face. My heart went out to him." 

Conni sighed. "Cleo didn't look too pleased with her, either, and she's the one that stopped Dr. Kovac from doing the C-section."  

"Having to stand and watch while that baby died... it was terrible..." Chuny shook her head in disbelief. 

"What happened after that?" Conni asked. "I heard he got off and left in a hurry." 

"Gosh, he'd been so depressed lately, I couldn't help worrying he might do something..." Chuny said softly. "But he showed up on time, as usual, the next day..." 

Haleh nodded. "That's the day I brought him that first casserole," she said. "He needs to know somebody gives a damn about him. It's not likely that Carol is calling him up, trying to encourage him a little!" 

"We all need to protect Dr. Kovac..." Lydia said. "Watch out for him." 

Haleh nodded in whole-hearted agreement. "Of course, we don't want to embarrass him. But I think he appreciates kindness. The unkindness he got from Carol could make him suspicious of anyone else being kind to him, that's for sure." 

Lydia nodded. "He needs somebody to look after him. I'll bet he doesn't have anybody around in his personal life." 

The nurses all nodded in agreement. "Alone in the world. Can you imagine?" Haleh said, shaking her head. 

"I'd die," Conni shuddered. "If somebody killed my babies and I didn't have anybody to turn to...I'd just shrivel up and die. It must take a lot of guts for him to come in here every day to work. I mean, the guy's entire family was killed..." 

"Yeah, and who told us about that?" Haleh growled. "Carol. I swear, that woman was so cold. Just another means of letting everybody know that she still "owns" Luka Kovac. That he's still her personal property and she has all this access to him!" 

"She didn't care, that's for sure! He wanted a family again...somebody to love...she wasn't ready for him, she still loved Doug. Maybe she didn't realize it herself, but she shouldn't have led him on. No way would that man have gone after her if she'd simply told her that the father of her twins was still on her mind, kept calling her, kept asking her to move to Seattle with him. The bitch." Conni spat. "When she did that to him about the DNR patient, I wanted to scratch her eyes out. It just proved to me, once and for all, that she didn't give a damn about Kovac's feelings." 

"You don't do that to a friend!" Haleh repeated.

"What kind of friend is that?" Lydia growled. "I'm so glad Carol is gone. Finished torturing that poor man. Every time I see him I just want to hug him and tell him everything's gonna be okay." 

"He wouldn't believe you," Conni said sadly. "He's not lettin' anybody too close. Remember that woman from Mercy that asked him out the other day? He looked...I dunno. What's the word? Wary? He turned her down, politely, mind you. But turned her down just the same. He's got a ways to go before he'll be ready to try again." 

"Dr. Weaver sure looked relieved when he said 'No'," Haleh said. "She's just as protective of him as we are. I'm tellin' you, she's got a thing for Luka. I watch how she talks to him. Her voice kinda changes, she's always very...careful, you know? She doesn't do that with anyone else on this staff. Certainly not Mark or Carter." 

"And Carter's her friend, too," Lydia nodded. "But you know, it has to do with respect. Carter and Mark don't show her that much respect. Luka shows her respect all the time, even if he disagrees with her. He never talks down to her, doesn't yell at her, even when he's as mad as hell at her. He was really pissed at her when she interfered with his patients-those two brothers I told you about...remember?-but he never even raised his voice. She yells at Luka sometimes...like after that school shooting, but he was having a major temper tantrum, I think. She still gives him space, though. I wonder how much she knows about the story...?" 

"You're right," Haleh agreed. "I think she knows. She's very cautious about how she deals with him. In fact, I think maybe she doesn't know how to deal with Luka. We've certainly never seen anything like him before. She yells at the other staff members all the time, and it doesn't seem to bother her too much." 

"And Carter just got back from rehab!" Lydia said. "She's so careful with him, too, but it's different somehow with Kovac. She cares about Carter-he's her friend-but it's not the same thing that I'm seein' with how she deals with Dr. Kovac. She's really careful about him. They understand each other, you know?" 

"I've got to admit...Dr. Weaver watches out for all of us. Especially since what happened to Carter and Lucy," Haleh smiled. "She's kind of the mother hen of the ER. I've always respected her, even if she is tough to figure out." 

"She doesn't get much respect from Mark Greene, though. Remember when she called herself the Alpha Bitch Attending? Well, Mark sure ain't no Alpha Male. But Dr. Kovac...now, that's a different story. And I think she knows it," Conni nodded firmly. 

All the nurses murmured their agreement with Conni.  

"Did you ask him anything when you had him over for dinner? About Carol? Or his kids?" Chuni asked Haleh. 

"No. We just talked about general stuff. You know, his childhood...a little...and where he went to medical school. The Sorbonne! That just blew me away. But it's not surprising. Dja know he speaks French and Italian? That's a really smart guy...he has a photographic memory." 

Suddenly, the door to the lounge opened and Luka strode in. He looked slightly less exhausted than usual. All the nurses smiled at him, and he returned their smile.  

"Did somebody wake you up?" Haleh asked. 

"Yeah. Malucci was playing wheelchair hockey again," Luka replied, rubbing his eyes and opening his locker. 

"So there's no traumas?" Conni said, eyes narrowing.  

"No. Very quiet. I think I'm going to go across the street for something to eat. Does anyone want anything?"

"No...no thank you, Dr. Kovac," Haleh said kindly. "Did you finish off that casserole I gave you yesterday?" 

Luka turned back to look at Haleh, and grinned. "It was very...uh...good." 

"Don't be diplomatic with me! If you didn't like it, say so." 

"Kind of spicy, that's all," he said affably. "But it was very good." 

"Well, then, next time I'll go light on the cayenne pepper. You'll have to make a list of your favorite foods for me, so you can have a good home-cooked meal more often." 

He nodded, still watching the other women somewhat warily. "Yes. I'll try to remember to do that..." 

"I'll remind you, honey. You need some meat on your bones!" 

"I've always been thin," Luka said. "It runs in my family. We're all tall and thin." 

Haleh shook her head firmly. "That don't work with me, Luka Kovac." 

Luka just laughed, shook his head, and left. Haleh got up, gathering up the remains of her snack.  

"Where are you going?" Conni asked her. 

"To find Malucci...and kill him!" 

The nurses all burst into laughter, then got up, gathered their cups to wash later, and went back out into the ER to finish their shifts.

THE END