Understanding
Part Sixteen - Final
By Cimerene
cimerene@gci.net

My eternal Thanks To Kacey, Editor Extraordinary!! She has the ability to make my poor works of art into something I'm willing to share.

***** Several days later *****

Kerry was sitting on the couch staring out the window idylly. She clutched a small teddy bear of Madison's to her heart. She thought how warm it was out tonight; it would even have been pretty if her thoughts weren't in such a muddle. Today had been long and painful; she had spent all day arguing with social services. She had never tried so hard in her life to keep her temper.  Bureaucratic red tape, she thought angrily! For the moment Madison was still with them. But for how long?  

Her thoughts dwelled on her bitterness first Alisa had died and now Samantha. She remembered praying so hard when her friend Alisa had died. She prayed even harder when she found out about Samantha. Now she wasn't sure if she had any prayers left. What was this precious little girl going to do Kerry worried? How was she going to know what a beloved person her mother was? How was she ever going to tell her the wonderful stories and memories her mother had told her if she wasn't even sure if she and John were going to get to keep her.

Kerry knew it was the real reason she was awake so early in the morning was because tomorrow was the funeral. Sometimes she felt that she attended way to many funerals, and to top it all off, she was worried about John. His nightmares had started up again, and Kerry knew that they would get worse before they got better.  She knew that it was to be expected, but she didn't like seeing John in so much emotional pain. I guess she thought to herself, I was luckier in a way. My adoptive parents were still alive to get me through when Alisa died. Another thing Kerry didn't understand was John's parents. How could anyone have such a wonderful son in John and not want to spend time with him. She sighed as she thought to her self, it seemed like life sure didn't want her family to be happy.

Kerry moved restlessly from the windows, silently pacing back and forth in the living room. She was also worried about Madison and she had absolutely no authority to do a thing. How was she to make sure that Madison would get the help she needed, to get her through with the loss of her mother? Madison was alternating between acting like nothing was wrong, then crying her eyes out when she thought no one was watching. She seemed to want to be in either Kerry's or John's presence constantly as if afraid to loose them to. She had taken to sleeping in their room; a situation that Kerry completely understood, and prayed would only be temporary. She wandered outside to sit on the swing.  

She had been there for a while when she saw the door open. She said nothing as John strode over to the swing. He leaned against one of the posts of the swing watching her. She observed him silently, neither one saying a word. They stared into each other's eyes both knowing why the other was up. Neither one was wanting to air their fears into the night.

 "Is she still asleep?" Kerry asked him quietly. She idylly rocked the swing back and forth concern over Madison coming into the forefront of her mind.

"Yes, I put her back into her own bed." John responded, they were both silent for a while. Both just watching the stars and taking comfort in knowing that they were together in their mutual grief.

"Has Dave come back yet?" John unexpectedly asked her.  

Kerry felt a wave of grief overwhelmed her, she briefly regretted sending Dave to that medical conference while they were away, but it had seemed like such a good opportunity for him. The last thing he needed to be told upon his arrival was about Samantha. "He's due back tomorrow morning. I spoke to his roommate today, and they were still trying to track him down.  He evidently forgot to leave them a phone number at the hotel that he was staying at. I swear I've spent the last two days, being given the run around by the conference people. They could have at least gotten a simple message through to him." And he could have got to her in time, she thought to herself. 

John felt sorry for Dave, he guessed he would never really know how serious Samantha and Dave had been, but it had been evident to everyone around them how much they cared for each other. He looked so sad Kerry thought. She moved over slightly on the swing and patted the seat next to her. An open invitation for John to sit if he was so inclined. He smiled slightly and sat next to her, placing his arm around her shoulder and pulling her closer to him then proceeded to kiss the top of her head.  

 "We have to deal with the lawyer tomorrow," Kerry stated, she was not looking forward to that visit. The last thing she wanted to hear was that Madison would have to go live with some distant relative and that they would loose her in their life just like they had lost her mother.  

"Whatever's to come will come." John said prosaically. He to wondered if they would loose Maddy. How was he to tell her, how wonderful her mother was if he couldn't be near her to do so? How was he going to show her everyday how much her mother loved and adored her if she had to live elsewhere? It was evident to John how special the bond was between Kerry and Madison, would that to be destroyed so soon?

Kerry moved closer to John. She loved nights like this, when they were both in tune with each other's thoughts and emotions.  She loved the way he made her feel so safe. She dreaded what would happen if she ever lost him. The best thing that had ever happened to her had happened when John had come into her life.  
 
They both watched as Summer, Madison's small kitten wondered outside. They watched her sniff at several different spots before jumping onto Kerry's lap.  Kerry had never identified herself as an animal person. But what do you do when a small kitten sits on your lap and says. "Pet me, pet me." She pensively stroked the small kittens fur. Such a pretty little thing she thought. The kitten of course at that moment evidently decided that these two humans weren't playful enough tonight and chose that particular moment to jump down to try to catch a moth. 

John looked over at Kerry as she watched the little kitten's small antics. She was so beautiful he thought. He remembered how wonderful she looked as she walked down the aisle towards him. "Did I ever tell you that you how lovely you looked in your wedding dress?" John asked her suddenly.  

Kerry looked up in surprise. The last thing she figured was on John's mind was what her dress looked like on their wedding day. "No," she said and blushed furiously. She was still surprised at the compliments that John gave her. She wondered if after 10 or so years of marriage if he would still manage to take her so completely off guard. 

"Well you did." John smiled at her. Leaning forward he kissed her briefly but passionately and pulled her up. "C'mon lets go back to bed." His intentions were evident from the look on his face. Kerry smiled, grabbed her crutch and placed one of her hands in his. They both moved as one towards the door.

***** Lawyer's office *****

The office they were shepherded into was a large ostentatious place. Kerry was a bit irritated at the luxury of what should be a plainer office. This should be a place of business, not a place to show off what you have or don't have. She was irritated to see that John looked right at home. She often wondered what he thought of her humble little home. She sighed, her thoughts were jumbled she knew because she was thinking of anything else to protect herself from what they might have to face.  

John reached over and held her hand. Plainly telling her by his movements, that no matter what was to come, they would face it together. Millicent took a chair near John and Kerry, no expression showed on her face. The same expression had been there since the funeral. Indeed Kerry thought that it was likely that Samantha's death had affected her more than she was going to let on. It seemed a Carter family trait she affectionately thought. 

They had been among the last to arrive. The room got quiet, soft murmuring evident all around them. The funeral had been hard to attend, having to watch Madison so stoically standing there. She wasn't sure how much the little girl comprehended. But her admiration for her tough little spirit certainly grew by leaps and bounds. She sometimes thought it was harder to watch Dave.  He had arrived back in town in time to hear the news; he had come straight to the funeral. She remembered watching him silently crying near her grave. There was an air of utter despair and sadness surrounding him. 
 
She was a bit startled when Dave stumbled into the room. She immediately waved him over. "Dave." She choked up a bit. "Come sit by us." He gratefully sat down, with a slight look of bewilderment, you could tell that he was still in shock. His tears from before had ended only to be replaced by a look of bitterness and disbelief. Plainly he was a man in deep despair.
She pulled her attention back to the group of people who were seated around her. Evelyn, (Samantha's mother) was seated nearby.  Kerry wasn't sure why she was here. The women looked like she was being forced to attend. She seemed bitter and resentful to everyone around her. Kerry wondered if perhaps knowing too much of Samantha's condition was prejudicing her more than normal towards that woman. She noticed that John gave up any pretense of liking his aunt. He openly ignored her, his bitterness towards her radiated out of him. Kerry took his hand back in hers. John smiled at her softly as the lawyer came into the room.

A tall man with dark hair, and a very serious demeanor entered the room. He carried a large briefcase and set it on the desk before him. He calmly opened it and took out some papers, before looking up into the room itself. 

Kerry looked at him closely. He seemed so familiar to her. He nodded to Kerry and John, almost as if he knew them. She whispered to John. "Do we know him?"  

"Our family lawyer," He whispered back. "Jeff Matthew's." He said the lawyer's name almost as an afterthought. 

Kerry grew slightly irritated at John. Sometimes she wondered why she had married someone so well the word MONIED came to mind. My family doesn't have a lawyer she thought we always considered ourselves lucky if we never met one. She knew her irritation was out of place and not worthy, she also knew she was a little bit more high strung than normal. She glanced up when the lawyer started to speak.

"Today you have come for the reading of Samantha Rene Carter's will." He waited a few seconds for the murmuring of the room to quiet down. "Before she died, Samantha prepared this statement." 

"Samantha said she was a plain person and she wanted the rest of the plain people in her life to understand what she had to say. Not fancied up or in lawyerish talk." By now Jeff was starting to look a bit uncomfortable. Kerry smiled inwardly at his words. She thought to herself how much that truly sounded like Samantha.  

"Samantha knew that she had little in this life, but her overwhelming desire before she died was to take care of the people she loved." He paused to take a sip of water from a glass that had evidently been placed there before he came into the room. "To Millicent Carter she said to tell you that she had never had a better Grandmother. No one could have done better. She said to tell you, that she deeply regretted she was unable in life to show you the love that you obviously held for her and the love and respect that she held for you." 
 
Millicent inclined her head, her face still the stoic mask that she had been wearing for so long. It was hard for Kerry to watch her, knowing the grief and anguish that she kept hidden deep inside. Jeff started again. "She also said to tell you that it really wasn't John who called for the time in Japan and left the phone off the hook for an hour." He cleared his throat before continuing. "It was her."  

Millicent questioned John with her eyes she looked slightly startled. She allowed a slight smile to show on her face. He just smiled and shrugged his shoulders slightly.

Jeff cleared his throat. "This next part will be a little difficult," he said. "Evelyn, Samantha specifically said to tell John and Kerry this in your presence. I tried to talk her out of it but she was adamant." Evelyn looked on; she was clearly uncomfortable, especially with everyone in the room watching her now.   She looked ready to leave but curiosity obviously kept her there.

Jeff went on. "John and Kerry," he said looking directly at them. "Samantha wanted you to know how much she loved and appreciated the time she had with both of you. She also wanted you to know that if she passed away, she trusted that you would do whatever you felt necessary in this life for her little girl. She said that out of all the people she knew. That you would be the ones to truly appreciate." Jeff paused to clear his throat then he went on. "To truly appreciate, love, care and mold her little girl into the women she knows she can be."  

Kerry looked stunned, silent tears ran down her face. John finally let a small sigh of relief escape. His sadness and joy were intermingled upon his face. He reached over and kissed Kerry's clenched fist. His eyes told her that through their tears joy had come.

Evelyn however looked highly irritated. "I'm also to tell you this specifically Evelyn. That Samantha said you are forbidden from any future dealing with her daughter. She said to tell you that since you had bowed out of her life when she needed you the most, you could forget having anything more to do with her child. She further stated that if at any time you decided you wanted to exert your Grand parental visitation rights that she recommended that you were to be heavily monitored at all times."

Evelyn stiffly stood up and stalked out of the room. Her body language stiff with unspoken comments. She was clearly outraged and indignant that such things would be said about her self in the presence of others.

The whole room looked stunned as she left. The murmuring began again as soon as she left and it was a few more moments before everyone quieted down again. Kerry was silent but the questions in her mind didn't stop. She looked at Jeff for a moment then said to him before he could speak. "May I ask you a question? Is there any way her natural father would try to take her away from us?" She knew it was a highly irregular thing to ask, especially then! But she wanted to know now! Before anything else was said or done.
 
Jeff smiled slightly, they watched as he took out a piece of paper from his briefcase. He then proceeded to hand it to Kerry.  She watched as he specifically pointed out a crucial bit of information on the Certificate. As she perused the document a look of disbelief entered her face. John looked over her shoulder to see what was keeping his wife so amused. Kerry for the first time since they entered the room smiled slightly. John thought he heard Kerry murmur the words out loud "unknown?"

Jeff watched them for a few moments then told them. "Samantha said you would ask that, so we were prepared." He smiled slightly at her. "That's your copy. I have one which I'll keep if we need it later on in the future, but I seriously doubt we will." Kerry clutching John's hand with a strong grip, and smiled through her tears to the lawyer. "Thank you." She told him quietly.

Then the Lawyer glanced around the room, his eyes lighting sympathetically on Dave. "Dave what I have to tell you, would be better suited in private."  

***** Later that day *****

Dave stared down at the grave; his stoic face started to slip as he stared at the words engraved upon her tombstone. He held the single rose he had brought in a tight fist, ignoring the pain of the thorns that were impressing heavily into his flesh.  

The look of despair that had been on his face was still evident. But the lawyer's words had lightened the load he still carried. He glanced again at the headstone with her name indelibly placed on it. He heaved a big sigh.  

"I didn't get the chance to tell you," he stated softly. "But then you already knew."

He placed the rose and a small picture of her, Madison and himself, upon her grave and whispered as he turned away. "I loved you, to!"

***** Several days later ******

Kerry had already called the daycare and made all the arrangements. She entered the building with Maddy hopping and skipping beside her. She glanced down at her and smiled. A smile that was noticed by several people as she passed the receptionist area.  

Luka looked at them both, "And who have we here?" he said in his thick accent.

Kerry smiled at him, a smile that was tinged with sadness and happiness at the same time. "Luka, I want you to meet Madison Carter, the newest member of my family."  

Luka smiled then looked confused as Madison's clear voice told him: "Hi, I'm Madison, I used to be Kerry's niece but now she's my mommy."
 
Luka gave a questioning glance towards Kerry then looked down at Madison and said "Pleased to meet you!" Kerry watched his face for a few more moments. Poor guy we've really confused him now.  

Madison said out loud in her clear voice. "Now I have two mommies!" She looked sad for a few moments then stared up at Kerry with obvious adoration. She then proceeded to clutch Kerry's hand tighter than normal and started pulling her towards the stairs. Knowing it wasn't fair to leave Luka with out an explanation but also wanting to get Madison up to Daycare. She glanced at Luka briefly. "I'll explain later." She smiled at Madison as she bounced up towards the staircase.   

***** Several months later *****

"What are you making?" Madison asked as she wondered into the kitchen.   

Kerry glanced down at her small figure.. "Fried chicken for our picnic tomorrow."

"Can we bring Irish with us?" Madison asked her innocently, as she glanced towards her puppy that was currently residing in the backyard. Kerry smiled to see how changed Madison was becoming, from the first days after her mother's death when she had seemed so withdrawn and unsure of herself. She still obviously missed her mother's presence in her life, but she seemed to be getting better. She still looked at her picture every night before she went to sleep. Kerry was very grateful that John had gone to the expense and trouble of having it enlarged and framed for her. Sometimes Kerry could even here her talking to her mother's picture in her room. Telling her stories, thoughts, and feelings.

Kerry smiled down at her. "I suppose, if you promise to watch her, we can let her come."

"Yippee!" Madison screamed she proceeded to hug Kerry tightly and then bounced out of the room.

Kerry could plainly hear her calling her small black and white puppy and telling her the good news. "Irish, you can come with us, I'm going to share my broccoli with you." Together they bounded out the door to play outside.

John wandered into the kitchen. "Hmm smells good." He kissed the back of her neck.

"John I'm cooking," she said with a halfhearted attempt at pushing him away. John smiled at her, then proceeded to kiss the other side of her neck. "John Carter, if you don't let me finish cooking, we won't have anything to eat for our picnic tomorrow!" Kerry snapped at him.

"We could pick up something at the store," he replied, grinning slightly. "Then you wouldn't have to cook at all tonight."

Kerry glared at him. "And then what would we do with the food I'm making right now?" she said acidly to him.  

"We could give it to Irish." He tried hard not to smile, as Kerry whirled around to check the expression on his face.

"That's not going to happen. SHE eats a special diet on purpose. And may I remind you that you're a daddy now MR. And we," she said meaning her and Madison, "Expect you to eat your broccoli like a champ." She glared at him again before turning back around and putting the lid back on the pot she was stirring and twisting the knob on the burner. John just smiled. He knew who ruled this household, and it certainly wasn't him. He also knew he had absolutely no intention of eating broccoli!

"Why don't you go play with Maddy and Irish?" she asked him, mentally thinking then I can get some work done."

John smiled up at her, evidently not in the mood to leave yet. "Wouldn't you rather I helped you then we could both play with them?" he told her teasingly. He knew that she had more fun playing with the new puppy than Madison did sometimes. For a person who claimed she didn't like animals, she was certainly starting a household of them.  

She pretended to grimace at him. "Ok, if you are going to insist on helping. You could cut up some potatoes." She smiled at him deviously knowing how much she hated cutting up potatoes, and that since he had offered to help he could take the jobs she disliked the most. For some reason it seemed to John that every time they had potato's he was stuck cutting them up. He shrugged his shoulders then proceeded to get to work washing and cleaning them. 

Silence reigned supreme in the kitchen for a few minutes. Just long enough for John to hear what was playing on the CD player. "Umm honey? What are we listening to?" He asked innocently. With Kerry he knew the answer could be anything. Kerry smiled, she knew her taste in music was a bit different from John's. "It's the soundtrack from The Princess Bride, Madison liked the movie so much we decided to get the soundtrack today."  

"Ah I C." John continued his work for a while listening to the music that was playing. He listened for quite a while, before replying. "Are you sure it was just Madison who wanted the CD and not you?" he said with amusement evident in his voice.   Kerry refused to be pulled in to his teasing. 

"I'm sure!" she decided she would ignore him. I mean after all, if he was going to tease her about her music. She decided to get the dishes done now rather than wait. John was still cutting up potatoes, when he started to truly listen to the words of the song that was playing. He put down the knife he was using then proceeded to tap her on the shoulder. When she turned around, he stole her washcloth, and placed it on the countertop. He smiled down at Kerry and pulled her into a tight embrace. Kerry could feel his the strength of his arms enfolding her.  

"Have I told you recently how much I love you Mrs.Carter."

Kerry smiled at him, she loved him so much. She watched the glints in his eyes, and the look of unfaltering love towards her.  "Yes, Dr. Carter, I believe you have, but," She paused to put her arms around his neck. "You'd better tell me again!"  

John smiled at her then proceeded draw her into a slow waltz across the room. He whispered softly into her ear.

"I love you Kerry!"

And they lived happily ever after.

THE END!!!!!
 

Storybook love (from The Princess Bride soundtrack-for the truly curious!)

He said, "Don't you know I love you oh so much and lay my heart at the foot of your dress.
She said, "Don't you know that storybook love always has a happy ending.  
Then he swooped her up just like in the books and on his stallion they rode away.

Refrain:

My love is like a story book story, but its as real as the feelings I feel.   
My love is like a story book story, but its as real as the feelings I feel.
It's as real as the feelings I feel!

If you have comments or suggestions, email me at cimerene@gci.net