No, I don't
know how this business got started. All I know is I kept hearing people
mentioning "Mr. T Ate My Balls", and it all took off from there.
Somewhere
deep inside I knew it wouldn't be long before I'd attempt my own rendition...
and then came the fateful day in Spring 1997 when I did...
Meeno
Peluce Ate My Balls!
Meeno was a child actor. I picked him because, well... he was familiar
enough, yet forgotten enough to not have had an "ate my balls"
page created in his honor. And let's face it. His effin' name is Meeno,
yet, as Soleil Moon Frye's brother, he's STILL not the one in the family
with the goofy name. Yes, it's kind of thin compared to many of the other
"ate my balls" pages on the net, but as my first effort, it
holds a place deep within my heart. This was followed a couple of months
later by...
Louise
Woodward Ate My Balls!
(no longer online)
Laws-a-mercy, did this one ever generate some mail for me. I'm not exactly
sure what a "prat" is, but some anonymous Irishman felt the
need to berate me for being a bloody one. For the record, no, I don't
have issues with women. And I actually kind of like them fleshy and British.
But you can't go shaking the chi'rren. Call me a square, but I'm pretty
non-negotiable about that. Maybe I crossed the line when I included a
picture of poor little Matty Eappen, put a halo over his head, and gave
him a dialog balloon that said "Damn it. Now I'll never know what
it's like to have my balls eaten." Anyway. The page was hosted on
sort of an experimental server. It crashed. It had no backup. This work
is now lost to the ages, and perhaps that's for the best.
After two
successes, I retired from the business of documenting ball-eating. And
I haven't made a new "ate my balls" page in nearly four years.
Oh, sure, from time to time, I think of someone who's just RIPE for an
"ate my balls" page. I'd totally do "LaVan Hawkins Ate
My Balls!" if I thought it would have any impact outside the greater
Detroit area. But now I'm making baby steps towards a new page...
All
Your Base Are Belong To Us Ate My Balls!
I've combined
this old chestnut of a meme (which is to say, old in internet years) and
combined it with a new one making the rounds. It's definitely still a
work in progress, but I think this handful of graphics is ready for public
consumption. More to come. Probably.
And while
I have no desire to make this a clearinghouse list of other "ate
my balls" pages, here's one by a friend of mine that I just had to
include...
Federal
Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan Ate My Balls!
Tim, to you,
I bow.
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