Never Let You Go
By Danielle
Disclaimers: I own no one, nothing, nada, zip, zilch. Got it?
Notes: Okay, It's getting down to crunch time in my 3EB challenge. Time to get these two together! This is #11, it's set during Sexual Healing and it's from both's POV.
Liz told me what was happening with her and Max. I believed her, but it just seemed so impossible that she was actually seeing things. I mean, it's pretty implausible, right? Well, so is the fact that Max, Iz, and Michael are aliens, so I guess my attempt at logic fails.
Okay, so I used it as an excuse. I wanted this. Wanted him. It was too perfect an opportunity to pass up. What? I'm not perfect. I have needs. And Michael is one of them. I missed this. Missed him.
I wonder if he can see that or sense it or whatever? I wonder what he's seeing about me right now as he touches me and kisses me. All I know is, I'm not seeing anything I haven't seen before. Is this working? I don't know, but I don't want it to stop.
~~~~~~
God, this is amazing. This is exactly where I've wanted to be for weeks. In her arms, touching her, making her want me. Max was right, you can see everything. I know she wants me, wants this. But she's scared. Who can blame her? I pushed her away too hard. She is still hurt over things that I should have handled better, but I didn't. I admit I was scared.
I'm not now. I know what I want. And she's right here.
~~~~~~~
I have to tell him. I'm not seeing visions. I lied. But I don't want to lose him again. Just being back here in his arms, where I've been before made me realize how much I care about him. I need him, whether he knows it or not. And I can't hurt him by continuing to lie to him. I want us to be close, but I also want to be honest with him. Not like last time.
It got so confusing, because we denied what we were feeling. We lied to each other and to ourselves. Not again. I won't risk hurting like that again. And the only way to make sure is to tell him. I have to tell him.
~~~~~
She lied to me. I wanted to give her visions, and she lied to me. But I know why she did it. I feel the same way she does. The visions were an excuse to kiss her again. I had to justify myself to Max and Izzy. I was doing it for the greater good, right? Well you know what? I no longer care about the greater good. I care about Maria.
I never ever let her go. I always, deep down inside wanted her, wanted to be with her. No matter how hard I pushed her away, or how mean or cold I was to her. I never let her go. And I will forgive her for this. Cause I understand her motives. Maybe she never let me go either?
I can only hope that she'll know the anger was my initial reaction. It was a mistake. Because I forgot for a second the real reason I was there in the Eraser Room again. Just because I wanted her. The visions meant nothing next to the fact that she was mine again. I never let her go. And I never will.
~~~~~~~~~~~
I know why I did it. I just have to make sure he understands. It's hard to say it when I know he's probably just going to freak out and push me away again. But I will be honest with him. With myself too.
I did it because I love him. After everything that we've been through, I realize that I never stopped. I tried to forget about it, but deep down inside I never let him go. Isn't that what your first love is supposed to be like?
Eventually I'll get him to forgive me for lying. I know because I'll keep at him until he does. Keep trying to break down his walls. I think he wants me to. Though he'd probably never admit that. I just get that feeling from him. He's tired of being alone. So I'll let him know what I feel. That I never let him go, ever. And I know now that I never will.
~~~~~
Never Let You Go - Third Eye Blind
There's every good reason for letting you go
She's sneaky and smoked out
And it is starting to show
I never let you go, I never let you go, I never let you go
I never let you turn around, our backs on each other
That's a good idea, break a promise to your mother
Turn around your back on each other
You say that I've changed
Well maybe I did
But even if I changed
What's wrong with it
I never let you go, I never let you go
I never let you go
I never let you turn around, our backs on each other
That's a good idea, break a promise to your mother
Turn around your back on each other
And all our friends are gone
And all the time moves on, and on
And all I know is it's wrong, it's wrong
And all I know is it's wrong, it's wrong, its wrong
If there's a reason, it's lost one me
Maybe we'll be friends, I guess we'll see
I never let you go, I never let you go, I never let you go, I never let you go
Turn around, our backs on each other
That's a good idea, break a promise to your mother
Turn around lets turn on each other
Good idea break a promise to your mother
Turn around your back on each other
That's a good idea break a promise to your mother
Turn around your back on each other
What a good idea
I remember the stupid things the mood rings, the bracelets and the beads, nickels and dimes, yours and mine, did you cash in on all your dreams, you don't dream for me no,
you don't dream for me, but I still feel you pulsing like sonar like days in the waves, that girl is like a sunburn, I would like to save, that girl is like a sunburn, she's like a sunburn
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