Don't Think of Me
By Danielle
Disclaimers: The characters belong to Jason Katims & the Roswell Crew. The song belongs to Dido.
Author's Notes: Okay, kids, here we go again! I've been thinking about doing another series where the fics are all songs from the same CD- something similar to my Third Eye Blind "Blue" Series, which gave a missing/behind the scenes sort of chronicle of M/M interaction in season 1. But what artist and about which characters, I kept asking myself. Then it came to me the other night- An Alex/Isabel series. Set during the 2nd half of season 2 after his return from "Sweden". And what better music to set it to than the queen of Roswellian music, Dido herself? And so I give you the Dido "No Angel" series. "Don't Think of Me" is #1, and each song from the CD will be used as the title and inspiration for a fic, though not necessarily in the same order as on the CD. Most of these are going to be POV's from either Alex or Izzy, but there will be some interaction in the middle and a continuous storyline that mirrors the last half of the season. I hope you enjoy it! This is Isabel POV during "We Are Family" after Alex has returned home.
He was home, finally.
I never in a million years thought I'd miss him so much. But I did, I had really truly missed him. I didn't know if it was his smile that always cheered me up or if it was his infectious laughter. Maybe it was the way he used to look at me. I stress used to.
Her name is Leanna. She's from Oopsala or whatever weirdly named place it was that he stayed when he was away. She's blond and beautiful and he's having a long distance relationship with her. And I'm not upset about it. Not in the least.
Well maybe the least little bit. If only because it seems like since the second he got back she's all he can talk about. And show us pictures of. I used to be that person that he was fixated on. And while I'm happy that he's moved on, part of me kind of misses that adoration.
I mean sure, I never liked Alex quite as much as he seemed to like me, but he was always so easy to be with. He was such a good friend. I miss that, because it seems that while he was away, Alex developed a major aversion to anything having even remotely to do with me.
Take for example the other night when he was showing us his slides out on Liz's roof. I got called away by Valenti who was hot on Laurie Dupree's case, and when I went to leave, he kind of shrugged it off. I tried to make a serious attempt to apologize and try to set something up where he could show them to me another time, but he really didn't even seem to care that I was leaving. That irked me. Because the old Alex, no matter how mad or upset he was with me, would never ever have blown one of his friends off like that. Nevermind me. But I'm not bitter about it.
I just wonder what the hell this Leanna girl did to him in 2 months that made him seem so cold. I mean, I know the temperatures aren't exactly warm in Sweden, but was it cold enough there to freeze even Alex's warm heart? I didn't think it was possible.
I really don't want to mention this to Liz or Maria, because he seems to be back to normal with them and I don't want them to think I'm upset because Alex doesn't worship me anymore. Because I'm not. I'm upset that Alex just isn't being Alex.
Whatever. Let Leanna have him. I just hope that in the back of his mind sometimes, he doesn't slip out of Leanna mode back into Isabel mode. Because I don't need him to love me. I have my parents, and Max and Michael and Maria and Liz, the Sheriff, Tess, Kyle, and Grant. Let's not forget about Grant. A man. An actual grown man who is interested in me. Isabel. Not Leanna.
Yeah, let him have his fun with his new girl. Alex deserves some fun. Some happiness. And I would never deny him that. But I hope, I truly hope that he doesn't think that once this fling with Leanna is over he can come back to me and act like his old self again.
If he wants to act differently toward me to give himself some space and the ability to move on past his interest in me, that's fine. I can accept that. But it's not going to go back to being the way it was. I can't let it. I never really should have led him on in the first place. But he was so easy to spend time with. No, I hope Alex stays strong. Maybe that will make it easier for me to do the same.
Don't think of me, Alex. Keep thinking of Leanna. It's just better this way. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself.
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DON'T THINK OF ME By Dido
So you're with her, and not with me, I hope she's sweet, and so pretty
I hear she cooks delightfully, a little angel beside you
So you're with her, and not with me, oh how lucky one man can be
I hear your house is smart and clean, oh how lovely with your homecoming queen
Oh how lovely it must be
When you see her sweet smile baby, don't think of me
When she lays in your warm arms, don't think of me
So you're with her, and not with me, I know she spreads sweet honey
In fact your best friend, I heard he spent last night with her
Now how do you feel
When you see her sweet smile baby, don't think of me
When she lays in your warm arms, don't think of me
And it's too late and it's too bad, don't think of me
Oh it's too late and it's too bad, don't think of me
Does it bother you now all the mess I made
Does it bother you now the clothes you told me not to wear
Does it bother you now all the angry games we played
Does it bother you now when I'm not there
When you see her sweet smile baby, don't think of me
When she lays in your warm arms, don't think of me
And It's too late and it's too bad, don't think of me
Oh it's too late, oh it's too bad, don't think of me.
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