Chasing The Dream
By Danielle
Disclaimers: I don't own the characters. You know it, I know it, hell the whole world knows it. So please don't sue me for writing about them.
Notes: This is kind of a weird fic. It takes place in continuity, after "Sexual Healing" but before "Crazy" so Michael and Maria are together. However, Michael still remembers the events that happened to him in the other reality of my "Dream Verse" when he switched places with Michael Valenti for 48 hrs. If you have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, then I suggest reading "A Dream Come True?" which sets up my "Dream Verse." I hope that wasn't too confusing.
He woke up in a cold sweat and immediately clutched at his abdomen. Poking and prodding, he found no hole, felt no seeping blood. He collapsed back onto the pillow and stared at the ceiling. It had all been so real. He was there again, reliving the last hour that he'd been there. Hank… the gun… Maria bleeding all over the street and begging him not to die on her.
He looked around his dingy apartment. He was home, in Roswell. His version of it anyway. He knew, because if he were in the other place again, he'd be hearing Kyle snore in the next bed over. No, he was still here and still remembering that short period of time when his life hadn't seemed like pure hell. He'd had a father, and a mother and a brother. He still had Izzy and Max, and he was about to get Maria too, until Hank had stepped in and ruined it all. Life there had seemed almost perfect up until that last hour. He really hoped that the other him had survived being shot. He'd hate to think of anyone, especially himself, missing out on a life like that.
He groaned as the alarm clock next to his bed suddenly went off. He slammed the snooze button with his hand and threw back the covers. Back to my reality, he thought. A reality where I live alone and work as a cook at the Crash Down and basically have no life. But at least he had Maria now. He'd gone to her when he needed her most and she had taken him in, no questions asked. Izzy and Max and their dad had helped him start a new life, one that didn't include being beaten by a drunk and going hungry. Yes his new life had it's down sides- for example, he had to go to school now or he'd lose his independence. And life behind a greasy stove wasn't the best. But at least he had possibilities now. The possibility of doing things for himself and actually getting ahead in life. And he had Maria now. For real.
He smiled as he headed toward the bathroom for his shower. Maybe that other him had been a football star with loving parents and a brother and friends and parties. But he had his own good things going for him now. And he wasn't sure he'd trade that. But it was nice to have the dream every once in a while. It was very comforting to know that somewhere in another life he had an almost perfect existence. And comfort was one thing Michael Guerin hadn't ever had too much of, so he cherished the memories of that place, and welcomed the dreams when they came.
The dream still lingered as he continued to get ready, preparing himself to meet Maria before homeroom for a little Eraser room tryst. He fixed his hair into trademark spikes and grabbed his books before heading out the door. He walked, thinking whether or not he'd trade this life for that one now. It would have been a tough decision- good thing he didn't have to make it.
As he walked up to the school, he saw Maria standing by the basketball court, watching Kyle and a few of the other jocks play a pickup game before the bell rang. She looked very absorbed in the game, and in fact, didn't even hear him as he approached. Silently he slipped his arms around her waist. "See anything you like out there?"
He could almost feel her smile. "Maybe."
The response hit the uncertainty he'd been feeling all morning dead on. Quietly, he spun her around to face him. "Maria, would you and I still be together if things were different?"
She looked confused. "Different how?"
"If I were more like Kyle. You know, popular and good at sports and if I worked harder at school? Do you think we'd still be together? Would you feel the same about me?"
Her mouth had dropped open as he spoke, and her jaw remained slack now. "I… I don't know how to answer that Michael."
He ground his teeth together in desperation. "If I had been, I dunno, say, adopted by Kyle's family instead of being abandoned completely and I was that kind of guy would you still feel the same way about me?"
Her silence continued, and annoyed, Michael pulled away. "Just forget it." He released her and spun on his heel, heading for the door to the school. Moments later, he felt her hand close over his wrist.
"Wait, Michael. I don't know what you're getting at, but to be honest, I'd like to think that we'd be together no matter what. If you were popular and I was a cheerleader or if we were both dropouts, or if I were an alien and you were human, I'd like to believe that we'd still have found one another. Do you really think either of us could find a better match anywhere? I don't. I think what we have is special, Michael. I think its fate. Destiny. Kismet. Whatever you call it, I think we're together for a reason, and I think no matter who we were, we'd still be together. Does that answer your question?"
He was quiet for a minute, and then he turned around to face her. "Do you really believe that?"
She nodded. "Yes. I do."
Without speaking, he scooped her up into his arms, crushing her small frame to his chest. "I think so, too, Maria. In fact I know it." He held her tightly for a while, and she rubbed his back absently, knowing he was upset, but not understanding what about.
When he finally released her, she looked up into his eyes. "Now, do you mind telling me what that was all about?"
He shook his head. "Nothing really. I just… saw you looking at those guys and I wondered if you'd rather be with someone like them."
"I don't want to be with anyone but you. In fact, I was watching them and thinking they weren't half as good looking and smart and special as you are. Okay?"
"Okay." He reached down and took her hand absently. That did it. There would have been no contest if he'd had to choose. This reality would win hands down. Without question, he could stop chasing the dream. Right now, he had everything he'd ever need. Maria's voice snapped him back to the present.
"Are you sure that's all? You still look a little weirded out."
He shook his head as he led her inside the school. "Nah. I'm fine. I just had this really weird dream last night."
"What was it about?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." At her stern look, he caved. "Okay, okay. I had this dream that I got adopted by the Sheriff's family when I was little and Kyle was my brother and he and I and Max were all friends and we were on the football team together. Liz and Izzy were cheerleaders, and Max and Liz were a couple and so were Kyle and Izzy and...""
"Let me guess… Alex was president of the United States? What kind of weird food did you eat before you went to bed last night?"
He laughed, amused by her look of disbelief. "I told you it was weird."
"Yeah, you didn't say it was bizarre. You on the football team? I so cannot picture that."
He turned on her with a sparkle in his eye. "What- you don't think I could play football?"
She giggled. "No, I think you could play, I just don't think you'd deal with listening to authority figures that well. You'd probably zap all the coaches for making you do push ups."
He faked a hurt look and grabbed her around the waist. "Zap? I'll zap you, if you don't watch it, Blondie."
She raised her eyebrow seductively as they both stopped dead in their tracks in front of the Eraser Room door. "Oh will you, now?"
"You want to test me?" he asked, his eyes boring into hers with intent.
"You know it, Spaceboy." She grabbed the front of his shirt with one hand and reached behind her to open the door to their own private heaven with the other. As she pulled him inside, he thought, screw the dream. This world is perfect. The door slammed behind them and the nagging doubts Michael had about which reality he would choose were left behind once and for all.
Questions, Comments, feedback to Danielle
