Disclaimer: Merely tootling my horn. For free. No money.

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Lost in Translation IV: Spike in Tokyo

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Written in a car rental brochure from Tokyo:

WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR

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“Bloody Hell!” Spike slammed on the brakes, nearly causing his head to hit the windshield. He briefly slipped into this vampire face just from irritation.

“What is it, my dearest Spike?” Dru’s eyes fluttered open and she leaned onto his arm. His human mask slipped back into place and his expression softened as he looked down at her.

“Bloody wankers keep walking in front of the car. Never seen so many humans before in my unlife. Except at parades. And Disneyland. And Woodstock...I think...”

“They heave in sight?” Drusilla looked up with glee. “Like the magic book said they would.”

“They did at Woodstock.” Spike peered curiously through the windshield. “Well, that one looks a bit under the weather, but none of them look like they’re gonna lose dinner or anything. Speaking of which, I’m thinking it’s time I go get us something to eat.”

“No, Spike. The magic book whispered its secrets, and Miss Edith is so excited. I have what you need.” Drusilla lovingly placed Miss Edith aside and opened a black case she had hidden at her feet. She presented the contents to Spike

“That’s a bleedin trumpet, pet.”

“There’s to be music, Miss Edith. Melodious trumpeting from my Spike,” Dru sang out.

“Dru, pet, I don’t know.” Dru’s face showed the beginnings of a pout.

“The book sings to me, Spike, it says you must tootle.”

“Tootle?”

“Melodiously trumpet. At first.”

“At first,” Spike eyed the trumpet and his companion with equal suspicion. “And then what?”

“They may not move, they may still obstacle our passage...”

“Dru, my love, you are making less sense than usual...”

“And then you may tootle with vigor! Oh, tootle, Spike! Tootle for me and Miss Edith!” Dru cried out ecstatically. Spike grinned toothily.

“All right, pet. You know I can never deny you anything.” Spike opened the car door and walked towards one of the people who were currently walking in front of his car. The rather slight man looked up curiously as Spike walked up to him and blew into the trumpet, emitting a caterwauling sound.

“What are you doing?” The man asked curiously. “Why leave your car there?”

“I’m tootling. Do you obstacle my passage?” Spike asked with a cold smile.

“I don’t understand...”

Spike tossed the trumpet aside. He slipped into his vampire visage and fed from the man, causing the other people to scream and run away from the vehicle. He dragged the nearly dead man to Dru’s side of the car, speaking to him conversationally.

“Don’t understand either, mate. But that’s what I call tootling with vigor.”

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