A Perfect Fit
“When I look to the future, all I see is Vaughn…”
Those were the words she had told Dr. Barnett in her latest attempt to straighten out the emotional tangle that had become her. In a way, those words seemed to capture her internal struggle perfectly. Since her return, her “resurrection,” but most significantly since she was forced to deal with Vaughn’s marriage to Lauren, there had been an undeniable hole in her very being that was, much to Sydney’s dismay, painfully obvious to everyone around her. Up until now, it had been easiest to pretend that this hole was the missing two years of her life… that somehow by discovering what had really happened during that time she would feel a sense of completion, of relief, closure. Even more painful was the realization that her discovery of these years felt empty, even anticlimactic. Because now that she’d filled in the blanks, she couldn’t deny what had really left her with this void in her life. Vaughn… or rather lack there of.
Just thinking his name would send her into an unintentional spiral of fantasy and false hope. She couldn’t help but pretend it was still two years ago, that she and Vaughn were happy and more in love than ever before. But “happy” didn’t seem to do them justice. In fact, “happy” seemed almost an insult to what she felt waking up in Vaughn’s arms every single morning, legs tangled together, hearts beating as one. “Happy” did not describe the way her stomach would flutter every time he instinctively pulled her closer to him in his sleep, enclosing her protectively in his arms. “Happy” could not touch the way he would wake up and slide his hands around her waste and pull her to him, bodies pressed together, and stare into her eyes, just to make sure she was real. In these moments, and every other moment with Vaughn, the only word she could come up with to describe what she felt with him, and what he felt with her, was simply “perfect.” For her, there was no one else in the whole world.
She couldn’t help but slip into the memory of the way Vaughn would take her by the hand in the evening and lead her to the living room. They would dance by the fire until she couldn’t stand the distance between them. She would snake her arms possessively around his waist and pull their bodies together. Then she would look up into his eyes and hear the soft “I love you, Sydney” he would whisper on her lips. She would brush her lips against his, then pull away, teasing him. She loved the way he would breathe heavier against her skin, then hold her tighter, pull her even closer, then capture her lips in a kiss that made her dizzy and giddy with love.
They would continue to sway back and forth, tasting each other, locked in a kiss that grew more passionate with each second. Finally Vaughn would pull away and stare into her eyes as he slowly and meticulously began to undress her. First her shirt… he would slide his hands under the fabric, running them along the smooth surface of her stomach, over her hips, the small of her back, and up. She would lift her arms as she pulled it over her head. Then all he could do was stare at her beauty.
Sydney always smiled when he became so transfixed with her, even after seeing her just like this, and in nothing at all, hundreds of times. Sydney would smile as she removed his T-shirt, running her hands over his abs, his chest, before pulling it off. Then Vaughn would pull her to him, skin against skin, and she could feel his heart beating against hers. And she could feel his need for her. She would reach a hand down and rub his erection through his pants just to feel the shudder run through his body. She loved that shudder. It was so telling of the little earthquakes that were to follow.
Thinking of this, Sydney’s need would overtake her and her hands would move up to his belt buckle. She would push his pants down his slender hips, leaving him in his blue boxers. He would pull her body into his erection, just to hear the moan that always escaped from her lips. Then he would slide her pants over her hips and down her legs, watching as she stepped out of them in her bare feet. And then Michael Vaughn would kneel down in front of her, placing slow, sensuous kisses around her belly button, over her hips, making her skin quiver beneath his lips. He would reach his hands around and over her bottom, stopping at the waistband of her white cotton panties. He would pull them down as his mouth traveled lower, stopping just above her dark curls. There he would stop, just breathing her in. One hand would move down to brush over her center… but only brush.
Then he would stand up and her hands would travel to his hips. She would rub herself against him, forcing him to fight the urge to thrust against her teasing contact. She would slowly pull his boxers over his erection and down, leaving him fully exposed. And then, kneeling down, she would place a tender kiss on the silky head of his penis, before flicking the tip of her warm tongue over his tip. He would breathe her name and pull him back up to him, wrap his arms around her, and kiss her… deeply, desperately. He would take the large blanket from the couch and spread it on the floor in front of the fire. Then she would take his hands and pull him down so they were kneeling in front of each other…
It never got old. It never felt the same. It never failed to blow her mind. How many times had Vaughn made love to her in the 5 months they’d been together? 400? 500? And even though he would cover her body with his as he had hundreds of times before, nudging his penis against her clitoris, it always felt like the first time. She would arch her back and lift her hips, pressing her pelvis into him. She would reach down and take him in her hand, guiding him to her. And then he --- STOP!
She couldn’t keep doing this to herself. Vaughn was with Lauren and she was alone. It wasn’t a question of moving on, because what could she hope to find after Vaughn? At best, someone to take her mind off the fact that her soul mate was married to another woman. No, it wasn’t a question of moving on. It was a question of acceptance.
Accepting that she would never love another man the way she loved--- no loves--- Michael Vaughn. Accepting that she would never again be able to make love to him in the middle of a Saturday afternoon, just because she needed to feel his touch. Accepting that she would never again feel his gentle, sensuous touch on her skin, her body. She would never go to another hockey game and steal glances at him, just to find him staring back at her. She would never come home to him, cook dinner for them both, and spend the evening talking about their dreams and their future. And she would never again fall asleep and wake up in his arms, feeling safer and happier than she ever has before.
It seemed crazy, but she often found it hard to fall sleep without the slow ebb and flow of his breathing beneath her head. She smiled sadly as she thought of the many things she hadn’t realized she’d come to love, to depend on. Hadn’t realized them until they had been ripped away from her. Like the way her pillow no longer smelled of him. Now it just smelled like… nothing. Nothing at all. And the way he could no longer comfort her when she woke up from a nightmare, reaching her hand over to where he should be, only to find the space empty. But most importantly, the way she feels as if she’s been floating through her life these past few months, overcome with apathy.
Why should she care about a life without Vaughn? And she almost hated herself for feeling this way. She had never needed a man to feel complete, to give her life purpose. Losing Noah and Danny had been horrible, even devastating, but all the while she could feel herself grieving, and healing. She had been heartbroken after Danny’s death, but she had never for one second believed that she no longer had a reason for living her life.
Being an English student she was very familiar with feminist ideas, and while she was never a fanatic, she felt there was so much truth to some of the ideals. She had always believed that she shouldn’t have to rely on a man to make her feel whole, feel alive. And she never had before. She knew that was an inside job. And before Vaughn, she hadn’t needed a man. She loved Danny. He had made her happy. But she could get through a day without daydreaming about his touch and his smile. And then a thought hit her. What if this was because she had never truly loved before Vaughn?
Everything suddenly seemed so clear. Maybe all of those feminists were only substituting independence and equality for true love. Not that you couldn’t have these things and be in love at the same time… no, that wasn’t it. It was hard to explain, but somehow, being so deeply in love, knowing that you’ve found your soul mate, the one person in the world you want to spend the rest of your life with, it changes you. It’s almost a voluntary relinquishment of the things some people work a lifetime to achieve. To Sydney, loving Vaughn meant that she wanted to need him. She didn’t want to be able to feel whole, complete, alive without him. But it didn’t really matter anymore, did it? Nothing mattered.
These were the thoughts running through her head as she stepped out of her work clothes, then slipped her white silk robe over her black underwear and bra. She unclipped her hair, letting it fall over her shoulders, grabbed her book (Calvino), and headed to the living room to relax and read. Once she was settled on the couch with her book, though, she found herself unable to concentrate. As much as she tried, her thoughts kept wandering back to Vaughn. What had he meant when he had helped her escape to Rome? She replayed his words in her head.
What happened between us… everything. The way it is… isn’t anyone’s fault, Sydney. And even though everything’s changed… SOME THINGS DON’T. I’m not going to lose you twice.”
Then she had hugged him, and they stood there holding each other. Sydney had felt her defenses weakening as she remained in his arms, so she pulled away, only to find him staring into her eyes with such longing and pain. It had broken her heart to see him like that. But had she? Maybe she had imagined those things. Maybe she only thought she saw such pain in Vaughn’s eyes. Maybe that was easier for her to believe than to think it was only she who was suffering. No, she decided firmly. She knew Vaughn better than she knew herself. She recognized the look in his eyes as the one he often had during the first two years they had known each other. The look was so telling of his inner turmoil. Knowing that he loved her with all of his heart, but unable to be with her. If not because of Alice, then because of SD-6 and the CIA. But now it was the same look, only more intense, and for completely different reasons. She wondered where Vaughn was, and what he was thinking about…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Vaughn sat at his kitchen table with the day’s newspaper spread out in front of him. He had gotten to work late and hadn’t had a chance to read the paper that morning. He remembered his conversation with Lauren when he arrived at the Rotunda.
“Hi. You’re late. I was beginning to worry,” she had said.
“Hi,” he replied as he kissed her, refusing to acknowledge the pangs of guilt he was feeling, much the same as the ones he had felt during the first few months they were dating. But it wasn’t so much a kiss as a peck. Short, almost meaningless, he thought.
It was strange. He had never pecked Sydney. Even when they used to kiss goodbye it was slow, tender, sensuous, their lips lingering on each others for as long as possible, neither of them wanting t be the one to break their contact. STOP! He snapped himself out of his daydream.
“Sorry, there was an accident on I-5 on the way in. Traffic’s really backed up.”
He heard himself lie to her and thought almost nothing of it. He couldn’t tell her why he had really been late. He had been dreaming about the first time he had made love to Sydney. It was at her old apartment. Dinner had been abandoned in the kitchen as they made love all through the night. He couldn’t think of Sydney without remembering that night. And he couldn’t remember that night without remembering the hundreds of nights (and mornings and afternoons) that followed…
His alarm clock had interrupted his dream, a dream that he knew he shouldn’t be having. He had turned off his alarm and went back to sleep in hopes of continuing the dream. Unfortunately, though, it had turned into their encounter after her return, when she had made it clear to him just how much she loved him, and how heartbroken she was that he had given up on her. He woke up with an ache in his chest, his heart filled with regret. And in that moment, he hated himself. Sydney was right. How could he have given up on her so easily? How could he have accepted her death so quickly? And even though he knew he had not accepted it quickly, he still hated himself for moving on.
He couldn’t help but imagine what would have happened if he hadn’t married Lauren. He imagined getting a call from Kendall in the middle of the night telling him that Sydney was alive and he was to go get her. How desperately had he wished for that after her death? He imagined meeting her in Hong Kong the happiest man in the world. He could tell her that even though almost two years had passed, not a day had passed for him. That he was more in love with her than ever. Then he could have kissed her, held her close to him, and comforted her. But instead he had to tell her that she’d been missing--- and that he was married. It was a slap in the face. The look on her face was almost too much to bear. He felt he had failed her in the worst possible way. And he had failed her. For that he would never forgive himself.
Vaughn sat there staring at an article about yet another tax increase, but not reading it. Instead, he was lost in other thoughts. Thoughts of Sydney. He wondered how Syd would react to his confession in Korea. He had finally stopped pretending --- stopped pretending that he was in love with Lauren, that he could go on without her, that he wasn’t still madly in love with her. It had been a confession on death row, yes, but he had meant every word of it. He hoped that Sydney knew how he felt. Or did he? Did he really want to undo whatever distance Sydney had been able to put between herself and her feelings for him?
He knew she still loved him. Nothing had changed for her. That had been painfully obvious to him from the moment he laid eyes on her. And he loved her. More than he could say. But truth be told, he was starting to feel as if Jack might have been right about him. He thought back to what Jack had said. “You know, I used to think you didn’t have much of a spine…” What was he waiting for? Sydney was alive. She was the love of his life.
Then he thought of Lauren, the woman who was supposed to be the love of his life. As much as he cared about her, he could never love her. At least not the way he loved Sydney. A love so true and powerful that it consumed every fiber of his being. A love so intense that sometime he felt his heart would burst just staring into her eyes. That kind of love is reserved for one person, and once given, it never disappears, only grows.
And when they made love… there were no words. Nothing could describe what it felt like to be inside of her. He had fantasized about it for almost two years. Hers had been the face in his mind when he slept with Alice. But nothing could have prepared him for the reality of it. And when she would come, digging her fingers into his back, breathing his name, her muscles tensing around him, holding him deep inside of her. At those moments he felt as if there were no other place in the world he should ever be, would ever want to be. At those moments he would look into her eyes and she into his, and they would see their futures together. They would see a life after the CIA. He would see their children and thousands of moments just like the one he was living. And then he would come, pouring himself into her, pulling her body to his. Sydney always hated when he would move away from her. She would hold him to her, reluctant to break their connection…
But he couldn’t keep thinking these thoughts. As much as he needed to be with Sydney, he could never reduce what they had together to an affair. He didn’t want Sydney to be his mistress. And he knew that she would never be his mistress. Their love was too pure, too true for that. But did he have the courage to divorce Lauren? How could he break her heart like that?
And then a thought so powerful struck him that his heart began to pound. It was so fundamentally simple, so obvious even, but it changed everything. He did not belong with Lauren. They did not belong together. But he knew that Lauren was a good person who deserved true love. Lauren was a smart woman. She had to know that his heart had never really belonged to her. So in truth, he was preventing her from finding true love. He thought about this, and even though he knew it was somewhat of a rationalization for what he was going to do, he didn’t care. Right then, he only cared about one thing. The one thing that had occupied his every thought and dream since October 1st, four years ago. Sydney. He knew exactly what he had to do as he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Sydney stared at the words on the page, seeing them but not comprehending. Frustrated, she put the book down on the coffee table and got up to get something to drink. She stopped when she heard a quiet knock at the door. Who could it be at this hour? Her father? No, he was in Zurich meeting with Sloane. Confused, she made her way to the front door. As she opened it, a gust of wind caught her off guard, causing her silk robe to come undone, the fabric flowing behind her. Vaughn stood there for a moment, swallowing as he watched her gather her robe around her, once again hiding the perfect body that he remembered all too well. Realizing that he was standing in the doorway staring at her, Vaughn quickly stepped inside and shut the door, apologizing for not calling.
“I’m sorry it’s so late… I would have called but---”
She cut him off. “It’s ok.” Truth was he had been in such a hurry to get to her that he hadn’t even thought to call.
“What are you doing here?” she asked him, motioning for him to come in. She realized this was the first time he’d seen her new apartment. Thinking back to the other time he had seen her apartment for the first time, the kisses and smiles that had passes between them, she couldn’t help but think how different things were now. Last time had been filled with so much promise--- promise of a new relationship and a new love. She smiled to herself remembering how those promises had been fulfilled above and beyond her most sacred wishes. Vaughn noticed the smile on her lips.
“Why are you smiling?” he asked her as he shrugged his black leather jacket off his broad shoulders.
“What? Oh, nothing. I was just… thinking,” was all she could say.
“Well,” he continued, “I’ve been thinking too. That’s why I’m here. I just felt that I needed to… explain what… or why…” He found himself struggling with the words to express what was forming so clearly in his mind and in his heart. Sydney knew where this was going. He wanted to make sure she knew that what had happened in Korea didn’t mean what she desperately wanted it to mean. He was here to tell her that it had been an attempt to comfort her in what they both thought were their last few minutes.
“Vaughn, it’s ok. You don’t have to explain--- or apologize--- or whatever you came here to do. I know… we both thought we were going to die, and… Lauren… so just… I can forget either of us said anything at all.” Vaughn watched her trying to maintain her composure, struggling to remain so strong. This was Sydney. This was his Sydney. And even though her words seemed convincing, he knew better than anyone what the forced half smile and the slight wavering in her voice meant. And his heart ached for her as she tried to spare him the discomfort of letting her down once again. Then he made a decision. This had to end. Now. Neither of them could go on any longer the way they were. He reached out and brushed her hand with his.
“Syd,” he said as she looked up in surprise. “Come here,” he said, motioning to the couch. “I need to talk to you.” Sydney let him lead her to the couch where they sat down next to each other. She watched Vaughn take a deep breath and then turn to face her. She tried to ignore the part of her that was secretly hoping he’d come to tell her he loved her. After a moment, Vaughn began.
“I was late to work this morning, Sydney.”
Unsure of how to respond to this, Sydney said, “Oh, I…” But he cut her off.
“No, Syd. I just want you to listen to me. I have a lot to say.” Sydney nodded. “I was late to work this morning because I was having my favorite dream. I was dreaming about the first time we made love. You’ll never know how much that night meant to me, Syd. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had that dream, and every time it feels so real. It’s like we were back two years ago. No Covenant, no new apartment… no Lauren. And every time I wake up, in those few moments when I’m not sure what’s real and what’s a dream… I realized today that those are the moments when I’m happiest. And then I realize where I am and I remember Lauren and it feels like finding out you died all over again. So tonight I was thinking. I was thinking that if I ever loved Lauren I would be dreaming about her. I wouldn’t be seeing your face every time we make love. I would be seeing her. But I don’t, Sydney. I see you. It’s always you… And that isn’t fair to Lauren, or to me, or to you. I do care about Lauren, I do. But I could never love her the way I’ve always loved you. I had to convince myself that I was in love with her, but I never really believed it. Just like I tried so hard to convince myself that I wasn’t in love with you before we were together. But I can’t do it anymore. I came here to tell you that tomorrow I’m going to tell Lauren that I want a divorce. I can’t keep pretending that she’s the love of my life... because I know that you are. And I’m not telling you this because I think that somehow I’m… guaranteed another chance with you… I know I’m not. I know that I hurt you more than you’ve ever been hurt before. And I hate myself for that every day. I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to forgive me. Hell, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for giving up on you, because it was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life, and it cost me the best… the most important thing I’ve ever had in my life. I’m telling you all of this because today I realized that I would rather be alone than be with anyone but you. You are my soul mate, Sydney. Before you I didn’t even believe in soul mates. But that’s because I hadn’t found mine yet. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you, and I’ll never love anyone again the way I love you.” Vaughn paused, not sure exactly what to expect from Sydney.
Sydney sat on the couch just looking at him, listening. Her eyes had started to fill with tears when he told her what his favorite dream had been about. She wondered how many times she’d had the very same dream these past months. Too many times to count. She almost couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Vaughn was telling her that he still loved her, still wanted to be with her, still needed her the way she needed him. She couldn’t find the words to tell him everything she needed him to know. That he was the love of her life and that it killed her every day to be apart from him. So instead she sat and listened, looked.
After a few moments Vaughn began again, “Sydney, I know I’ve just given you a lot to think about.” He paused. “I should go.” As Vaughn began to get up she did the only thing she could think to do. She grabbed the front of his gray T-Shirt and gently pulled him towards her.
The look on Vaughn’s face was one of surprise as he got closer to her. “Sydney…” he whispered. She pulled him into a kiss. A real kiss. His lips felt soft and warm on hers, and for a second they stayed there, eyes half-closed, remembering the touch and feel of the other. Sydney’s arms moved around to Vaughn’s back and she pulled him closer to her so their bodies almost touched. Their eyes closed as Vaughn deepened the kiss.
It was as if a damn had burst and every emotion he had been forced to suppress was coming to the surface. He kissed her with a passion he had never known before. His arms moved up and slid inside her silk robe, the loosely tied belt falling to her sides. His hands on her skin, he moved them up her sides, over her stomach, around to the small of her back, and finally pulling her onto his lap. Sydney let herself be pulled onto him, instinctively grinding her hips into him. She could feel him hardening beneath her.
Vaughn reached around to unhook her bra, but stopped, pulling himself away from her. Sydney looked at him with confusion. “Sydney, you know there is nothing I want to do more than to make love to you tonight, but… I didn’t come here for this. I needed you to know how I feel, but I know you’re feeling vulnerable and I… Sydney, I don’t want you to be the other woman either. I want this to be… right. No. I need this to be perfect.” Sydney smiled at him. She would never expect anything less of Vaughn. Of her Vaughn. Always so concerned for her. He wanted it to be perfect. And so did she. But it was perfect. She was with Vaughn. Everything else no longer mattered. He loved her and they were going to be together again. This time forever. That’s all that mattered now. But she had to make him see that.
“Vaughn,” she began, “I love you. You are the love of my life… my soul mate. And I’m yours. I’m not the other woman. Not anymore. And I know you want this to be perfect, but it is perfect, Vaughn. And I don’t think I’ve ever needed you as much as I need you right now. Vaughn, please…” She took his hands in hers. She brought his left hand up to her cheek, then slowly moved it down. Over her neck, her shoulder. His hand slid her bra strap off of her shoulder. She moved his hand down her chest, stopping at the silk edge of her bra, now hanging loosely over her breast. She waited to see what he would do. For a moment he just stared at her.
She spoke again. “Don’t make me make you make love to me,” she teased, circling her hips and applying more pressure to the erection that was straining against the fabric of his jeans.
“Sydney, I love you,” he said, and then there was no going back. He moved his hands around to her back and unclasped her bra. Next, he slid the silk of her robe off her shoulders and down her arms, finally pulling her bra off and tossing it aside. He took his hand and gently caressed her cheek, then with the back of his hand he trailed down her neck, over her breast, and down her stomach. He pulled her to him, kneading the skin of her lower back and they kissed. Sydney’s hands traveled to his shirt, pushing it up until they separated so she could pull it over his head.
Then they sat there, Sydney in Vaughn’s lap wearing only her black underwear, Vaughn in his jeans. Syd’s heart was pounding as she slowly unbuttoned his jeans and slid the zipper down. As soon as his pants were undone, the blue fabric of his boxers appeared as his erection struggled to be released from its denim prison. Sydney slid off of his lap and pulled him to a stand. She hooked her fingers in the waistband of his pants and pulled them down leaving his boxers on.
As Sydney stood back up, she moved her hand over the protrusion in his boxers. Vaughn grinned seductively and pulled her back up to him. He took her hips in his hands and pulled her into him, rubbing himself over her pelvis and down to her center. She could feel herself throbbing for him. Fighting the urge to grind herself against his erection, she looked up at him and returned his seductive smile. She leaned in and kissed him, then pulled his boxers down and he stepped out of them, kicking them aside. She started to remove her own underwear, but Vaughn caught her wrists as she started to pull them down.
“Let me,” he said. Sydney let her arms drop to her sides, then put her hands on Vaughn’s shoulders to stable herself as he kneeled down in front of her. Vaughn placed a kiss at her belly button while one hand rubbed her skillfully through her panties. Syd wanted him to push harder. She needed him to touch her. Vaughn’s kisses moved lower as he slid her black panties down her legs.
Vaughn moved closer to her on his knees and used his knee to part her legs slightly. With one hand he traced a path up the inside of her thigh, then ran his fingers through her dark curls and parted her, stroking her. Sydney’s eyes closed as she remembered Vaughn’s hands, his fingers. He gently stroked over her hard nub, sending a small jolt through her body. He continued to tease, moving his fingers over her clitoris, but never staying there very long. Finally, he stood up. He took her hips again and this time pulled their naked bodies together. He tilted his hips forward to slide the tip of his penis through her folds, running it over her exposed clitoris, but still not sliding inside of her.
“Vaughn, you can’t do this to me. I need you. Please…” Vaughn smiled at her and lowered her to the ground. Syd’s legs parted instinctively and he hovered above her. His weight on his elbows at her sides, their bodies touching, he continued to slide his head through her slick folds. He could feel her pulsing center as she writhed beneath him, lifting her hips to try to maximize their contact. With one hand he reached down to hold her hips.
“I was afraid I’d never be here again,” he said. Sydney had tears in her eyes as she smiled up at him. Vaughn moved his head down and they kissed again. It was a deep, passionate kiss. His mouth traveled to her neck and she groaned, Vaughn still sliding himself up and down her center. Then he lifted his head and looked into her eyes, and she into his. He held her gaze as he gently pushed inside of her. A breath escaped from his lips that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He pushed himself all the way inside of her until his hips touched hers. Sydney’s eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, and she inhaled sharply as the feeling overwhelmed her. Vaughn stilled when he was all the way inside of her.
“Syd,” he said, “look at me.” Sydney slowly opened her eyes. Vaughn moved his head down and kissed her deeply, forcing himself even deeper into her center. Vaughn’s kisses trailed down to her chin, her neck. He gently sucked the skin where her shoulder met her neck as he withdrew himself almost all the way. Sydney could feel his erection throbbing as only his head remained inside of her. Then, suddenly, Vaughn plunged himself back into her. Sydney was so tight. Her body resisted his intrusion, but with her arms she pulled him to her, drawing him deeper.
Vaughn finished each stroke with a small thrust, pushing himself deeper inside her than she had had ever taken a man before. Sydney moaned softly as Vaughn moved his mouth to cover her breast, swirling his tongue over the pink peak of her nipple. He moved his free hand down to where their bodies were joined. He continued to thrust in and out, in and out, harder and faster and deeper, though all the while he was watching her face, feeling her body, knowing her limits. Vaughn was terrified of hurting the woman beneath him--- the woman he loved so desperately.
Sydney was the strongest person he knew, but there were so many times he would look into her eyes and into her soul, and he would see a fragile, delicate woman where the tough, independent woman usually stood. Vaughn knew that he was the only one who ever got to see this side of her. And he loved it. He loved knowing that even as he pounded himself in and out of her, circling his thumb over her clitoris so that her hips thrust back against him--- even as all this went on he was caressing her, soothing her, supporting her. Vaughn was so responsive to every tensing muscle and changing expression on her face.
He knew that if he slowed his pace for a few moments, only pushing himself halfway into her, and then resumed his quick deep thrusts the sensations she was feeling would double in intensity. As Vaughn slowed, he moved his head back up to kiss Sydney, who responded with a fiery passion. He maintained this excruciatingly slow pace for several moments, then without warning he sped up, thrusting into her hard and fast.
“Vau--- OH! Oh… Vaughn…” Sydney moaned into his mouth as she broke their kiss. Vaughn smiled against her lips and increased the pressure on her clitoris. Sydney wrapped her legs around Vaughn’s waist and shifted her hips, changing their angle. She squeezed her inner muscles tightly around his erection, holding him deep within her for a moment. Sydney reached up and touched Vaughn’s face so that he looked into her eyes.
“Vaughn, I love you more than anything else in this world.”
To that Vaughn simply replied “You’re my soul mate, Sydney.”
As he said this Vaughn resumed his pace, knowing they were both nearing the edge. He thrust into her once, she inhaled sharply; twice, her eyes closed; a third time as he flicked his thumb over her hard nub, she gasped “Vaughn!”; a fourth time and he felt her inner walls begin to contract around him. But Vaughn didn’t stop. He moved his hands to Sydney’s hips as they circled in her ecstasy, but he continued to thrust. He teased her skin with his tongue and thrust in and out of her, and when she started coming down he moved his thumb again to her clitoris, coupling small, intense circles with deep powerful strokes.
Sydney’s head fell back and her chest arched up as she soared into a second, more powerful orgasm than the first. As her walls again clenched around him, Vaughn allowed himself his own release. He pumped his hips once, twice, three times and felt himself pouring into Sydney. His eyes closed and his head fell to her shoulder, and all he could utter was the name “Sydney.” It fell from his lips over and over again until they both were still.
Vaughn lay on top of Sydney, still not putting all of his weight on her. After a few moments he began to move off of her but Sydney tightened her legs around him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “No,” she said, “ I just want to stay with you like this.” She pulled him down to her and kissed him, searching his mouth and whispering words of love into his heart. Vaughn held Sydney’s body to his as he rolled them over so she was on top of him.
“Sydney,” Vaughn said, “This is where I belong. Right here with you. I don’t ever want us to be apart again.”
Sydney didn’t respond. She didn’t need to. He knew what was in her heart. She pressed her lips to his in a tender kiss, then lay her head on his chest as they both drifted off into the sweetest sleep… in each other’s arms, together again.
They fit together perfectly.