"Surprise in Sonora"


Logline: A short, comedic satire about Heath’s visit to Sonora and the unexpected surprise he finds there

  The blonde cowboy rode up in front o' the saloon and dismounted. It was too late ta make his way back ta home tanight so he figured he stop o'er in Sonora for a hot meal, a couple o' cold brews and a warm bed. He looked all up and down the street and tho' it wasn't deserted, there wasn't a lot o' activity goin' on this time o' night either. The sign on the winda o' the saloon read, "The Ace O' Spades," and the blonde took off his tan hat and wiped his sweaty brow. He patted the trail dust from his pants and shirt and then he tied his horse ta the post out side o' the saloon. He stroked the stallion's strong neck and whispered soothingly ta him afore walkin' inside. The place was crowded and he had trouble makin' his way ta the back. Well, he finally found an empty table and he took a seat and lay his hat on the table aside him.

"Drink mista?" the saloon girl asked.

The blonde looked up at her and noted she was 'bout fifty years o' age and she wore her bright red hair pinned up with errant strands hangin' loose here and there. Her sharp blue eyes tole of a lifetime o’ heartache and hard livin' but they also held a touch o‘ merriment in them.

"Thank ya ma'am," the blonde drawled.

"Comin' right up sugar," she said.

She expertly maneuvered her way through the crowd, avoidin' pinches here and grabs there. The blonde looked around the saloon and noticed a couple o' poker games takin' place. Always game, he briefly considered joinin' in one o' them but decided against it. He needed ta stay focused and the large sum o' cash he was carryin' on him from the sale o' them heifers down in Mariposa made him a might anxious. Because he'd arrived in Sonora so late, the bank had already closed up and he had no choice but ta carry the large amount from the sale, on his person.

Well, the saloon girl, she returned with a shot o' whiskey and a cold mug o' beer and sat it down on the table in front o' him.

"Thanks," the blonde said quietly, as he looked up at her. The heavy makeup and lipstick she wore made her appear garish and he knew that the mole below the corner o' her left eye was penciled on.

"Don't recall seein’ ya 'round here afore," she said as she rolled a cigarette. "Ya’lls new in town?"

"Just passin' through," the blonde said, as he sipped his whiskey.

She pulled up a chair and sat down ‘cross from him. "Me too," she said as she stroked a match along the top o' the battered table and lit her cigarette with it. "I been passin' through this town for the last fifteen years and ain't got nowheres yet."

The blonde couldn't help but smile at her as she chuckled. She wore a bright orange dress which hung offta her shoulders, revealin’ heavily freckled cleavage and an ample bosom. Her bodice pushed her bosom up o'er the low cut top and he quickly looked away as he caught himself followin’ the pattern of freckles down between her breasts.

She chuckled with the cigarette danglin' loosely from the corner o' her mouth as she followed his gaze down her cleavage. She shook the match out and threw it down to the floor.

"I'm Mable," she rasped. "But folks 'round these parts just call me Sadie."

"Pleased ta meet cha Sadie," he said. "I'm Heath."

She looked at his clear blue eyes, tanned skin and thick blonde hair. "Yup," she said appraisingly, "you're Heath alright!" She let out a loud, throaty laugh and said, "Ya hungry cowboy?"

"Yes ma,am, I reckon I'am."

She chuckled and stood up. "We got beefstew and bread. How's that for ya?"

"That'd be fine ma'am."

"Comin' right up," she said as she pushed her chair in and walked away.

Heath inhaled deeply and let out a long sigh as he took a long swig from his brew. He continued ta peruse the saloon as he waited for his meal.

Afta a while well, Sadie, she appeared with his meal and placed it in front o' him. "This place ain't much," she said, "but cook sure knows his way 'round a kitchen. His beefstew’s the best you're gonna find ‘round these parts."

"Thank ya," Heath said, as he picked up his spoon and began ta eat. He found that she was right about the stew. The vegetables was fresh and cooked ta perfection and the beef was tender and seasoned. The bread was fresh out the oven and lightly buttered. Heath ate every drop and sopped up the last o' it with his last piece o' bread and plopped it in his mouth. He finished his meal off with the last o’ his beer and sat back and stretched his long legs out 'neath him under the table.

When he was done, Sadie, she come back o'er with another mug o' cold beer and placed it in front o' him as she handed his empty dishes ta one o' her charges. Takin' the seat that she'd recently vacated, she looked him o'er.

Heath took a long swig from the brew and placed the mug back on the table.

"Now that ya satisfied one type o' hunger," Sadie said suggestively, "how'd ya like ta satisfy another kind?"

"No thanks," he said as he scratched his nail along a groove in the table.

She laughed that throaty laugh o' hers again and said, "Don't worry cowboy, I wasn't talkin' 'bout myself." She patted the back o' her red hair and gave him a suggestive wink. "I know I'm past my prime by at least two years!" she said with a shout o' laughter. Heath smiled in spite o' hisself.

"Unh uh," she said. “I was talkin' 'bout one o' my girls. Trained 'em all myself. They're top rate, every one o' 'em. Handsome young buck like you can have ya pick o' the litter."

"No thanks ma'am," Heath said shyly. "I'm really not in the mood tanight."

"Bull!" she shouted with a laugh. "A young man in his prime like you is always in the mood!"

Heath turned bright red and ducked his head.

"Now come on," she encouraged. "My girls'll treat ya good, and I won't even charge ya up the way I do these hooligans ‘round here. No honey. For you I'll give my bargain rates, just cause you're so darned cute. Now how 'bout that?"

She took his silence for a yes and leaned forward. "Go on up ta room three," she whispered. "It's the best in the house. You go on up and git nice and comfy and I'll send my best girl up with a bottle. She's a sweet young thing, just got in a couple weeks ago. I don't lay 'er down with just anybody. Just quality fella's like yaself. There aint nothin' she won't do for ya, you just name it. But no rough stuff alright? I don't like my girls roughed up, I don't care how cute ya are."

She reached down into her bosom and pulled out the key to room three and held it out to Heath. At first, he had no intentions of takin’ it but after bein' out on the trail for the last few months with no female companionship, he thought better o’ it. Hesitatin' for just a moment, he reached over and gently removed the key from her hand.

Without another word, Sadie got up from the table and walked away. Heath let out a long sigh and stood and picked his hat up. He bounced the key up and down in the palm o‘ his hand and then turned and walked o'er and went up the back stairs. He stood outside o' room three for a moment or so and then stuck the key in the keyhole and unlocked the door. His mouth dropped open when he entered the room, for it was huge and it was done up in beautiful, heavy mahogany furniture and lavish and colourful curtains, pillows and bed cloths. The carpet was plush and there was a warm fire aglowin' in the hearth. Heath walked in and silently closed the door behind him. He threw his hat on the table next ta the door and walked around and admired the opulently decorated room. He come to a door at the rear o' the room and peaked in, astonished ta find a full water closet. He smiled and ran a hot bath as he discarded his clothes and took a cigar from the box next ta the bath and lit it as he climbed inta the tub. The water was soothin' and he sat and relaxed for awhile afore finally grabbin' the scented soap and washin' the trail dust offta his body. As he sat and bathed, he heard a voice call out from the other room.

"Anybody here...?" she called.

Heath looked up quickly and his cigar fell from his mouth and inta his bath water as he called out, "In here! Be right out!"

He heard a giggle from the other room. "Take your time cowboy," she said in what Heath realized was a phony southern accent. "We got aaaallllll night."

Heath groaned as he looked around for a towel.

"Ya need any help in there cowboy?" the sexy, southern voice called out.

"Uh, no, uh, be right there!" Heath called as he gripped the sides o' the tub and pulled hisself out o’ it. He reached o‘er and grabbed a towel and quickly dried off. He wrapped the towel around his middle and opened up the door and as he walked inta the room, he saw her sittin' there on the huge bed with her back ta him. She was wearin’ a colourful kimono robe and her long beautiful blond hair hung down her back as she adjusted her fishnet stockings.

"Can I pour ya one?" she asked softly with her back still to him.

"Uh yeah, thanks..." Heath said, as he slowly made his way o'er ta the bed. He could see that she was shapely under her kimono robe and he wanted ta reach out and see if her hair was as soft as it looked. His breathin' came in short gasps as he thought about the night ahead with her. She poured him a large shot o' bourbon and then poured one for herself. Turnin' slowly on the bed with the glasses in her hand, she extended a glass out ta him and gasped loudly as she finally looked up inta his face. Heath's mouth dropped open as she turned ta face him and he got a look at her face. His heart pounded in his ears and he swooned, thinkin' he was goin' ta faint.

"Audra!" Heath yelled in shocked surprise. "What the hell are ya doin' here!


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