No word was spoken between father and daughter on the morning of Jenny’s visit to Jaime’s hotel. Though consumed with the urge to make a last-ditch attempt at swaying Jenny’s decision to see Jaime, Steve remained silent. His step faltered as he neared the kitchen, dithering whether he should join Jenny for breakfast. Inhaling a deep breath, he closed his eyes and shook his head in despair before retracing his steps to his bedroom where he lay down on the bed and curled up on Peggy’s side, hugging her pillow to breathe in her scent.

“My God, what have I done?” he bemoaned his fate. “Forgive me, Peg,” he sobbed; a torrent of tears gushing to his eyes. “Oh God, forgive me.”

Jenny rode her bicycle to Jaime’s hotel and marched up to her room. Her coming here was arguably the worse thing she could do to her father and siblings, and her adrenalin-pumping heart pounding at her neck was seconding the motion, but she was fiercely determined to get to the truth no matter how searing the pain might be.

She knocked on the door with a trembling hand and took a few deep breaths to calm the panic rising within before Jaime opened the door.

“Jenny!” Jaime exclaimed in surprise.

“May I come in?”

“Sure,” Jaime held the door open wide for Jenny who gave a cursory inspection of the place before stepping inside. “Is Nancy here?”

“Yes but she’s napping.”

“Good. Because I don’t think she should hear this.”

Jaime cocked her head and threw Jenny a quizzical look. “What are you talking about?”

“Jaime I need to talk to you about you and dad and what happened the night Nancy…well you know.”

Startled by Jenny’s straightforwardness Jaime flumped down on the sofa and heaved a woeful sigh laced with desperation. “Did you ask your father?”

“I want to hear it from you.”

Jaime quickly weighed her options and found that she could only follow the dictates of her conscience urging her to come clean with the child. “Sit down, Jenny,” Jaime offered with a tap on the cushion next to her.

“I want the whole truth, Jaime. Please,” Jenny begged, taking a seat next to her.

Jaime took a moment to collect her thoughts and shuffled them back in order, for it was crucial to be honest; though a detail or two could be ignored so not to stab the child’s heart anymore than it already has. “Your grandparents’ death was impossible for your father to accept. I don’t believed he cried or grieved in the first few days following the accident. He was like numbed. There was a faraway look about his eyes that made me fear that he was bordering insanity or a deep depression with suicidal tendencies.”

“Are you insinuating that my dad could have killed himself?”

“He tried once.”

Jenny’s jaw dropped in shock. “I…I never knew that,” she stuttered, her voice cracking with emotion at the startling revelation about her father. “When?”

“I shouldn’t be telling this.”

“Please do. I need to know everything.”

Jaime let out a heavy sigh to garner her courage before continuing, “Right after his plane crash. He found out about the amputations and…well.”

“Yeah, I think I understand.”

“Your father is prone to dark depressions and only a few people have learned to help him navigate around it.”

“I take it you’re one of them?”

“That’s right. Your mother knew about the episodes but fortunately she never had to deal with them until Jim and Helen died. A few days after the funeral she came to me, seeking my help. Steve wouldn’t speak to her nor hold his child, you that is. He was completely withdrawn. I told her I’d do my best to bring him back to her for Lord knows she needed him.”

“So you went to talk to him.”

“Actually he’s the one that came to my apartment. He and your mother had a squabble and he left the house in a huff and a bang. He was so distraught,” she quavered, her tears welling up with tears at the still raw memory of that day. “I wanted to reach out to him so badly; to yank his soul from the dark abyss where it had sunken and restore it to its full essence. And then….”

“It happened, right?”

Jaime hung her head in shame and gave a faint nod. “I should have pushed him away but I couldn’t, afraid of what it would do to him; to me; to both of us. We needed each other. God forgive me for not thinking of your mother when he held me in his arms and kissed me. The world around me simply vanished. There were just the two of us.” She glanced at Jenny who was toiling to keep her emotion in check but to no avail. It was plain to see the girl was in turmoil inside from that confession. “Jenny, I’m sorry. As you can see it wasn’t entirely your father’s fault. Although I didn’t encourage him I didn’t stop him either.” Jenny scrunched her eyes tightly together to squeeze out the excess of tears. Her aching heart reached out to all the innocent victims of this moment of weakness, including herself.

“There’s one thing you ought to know about Steve and me.” She waited for an acknowledgment that Jenny was listening before continuing, “During that time, your father spoke your mother’s name and not mine. That’s when I fully realized the implications of our act. I tried to push him off me but it was already too late.”

“You mean he thought you were her? That he was making love to mom?” Jaime smiled responsively.

“He wanted to feel close to me but not go all the way. At some point I don’t think he realized he was making love to me.”

“Does he remember speaking mom’s name?”

“Maybe. He never said anything to me. You should ask him.”

“It’s a little embarrassing asking your father about his sex life.”

Jaime leaned forward and cupped Jenny’s chin in her hand to will her eyes to hers. “Your father adored your mother, Jenny. Believe me. She was his whole life. He and I did have something in the past but when he met Peggy, his heart was captured. We women simply faded into the background. She was THE one he only had eyes for and from what I could see, still had after all these years.”

“He loved her.” Jenny cried.

“With every fibre of his being.” Jaime kissed Jenny’s bedewed cheek and with her thumbs, she lovingly wiped the tears streaming down the corner of her eyes. “You go to your dad, now. You hug him, kiss him and tell him how much you love him. He needs your love desperately. You’re the only one who can save him from sinking into a depression.” Jenny sniffled and dabbed at her tears. “You go now, girl! You save your family from crumbling down.” Jenny nodded affirmatively with a beam that lit Jaime’s heart. She watched the teen cross to the door and glance back at her.

“Thanks Jaime. I’ll be back later.”

“I’ll be here, Sweets.” Once Jenny closed the door, Jaime sank deeper into the sofa and dissolved into tears.

Jenny returned home to find her father sitting on the sofa with her siblings watching a cartoon on TV. Steve figured that Bugs Bunny and Wiley E. Coyote could be a temporary distraction from the overwhelming grief that was consuming his children. He saw Jenny looming in the doorway, her step faltering as she dithered whether she should join in but chose to retreat to her bedroom instead.

“I’ll be right back,” Steve said to Helen and Steven as he squeezed himself out from the two little bodies huddled against him.

He climbed up the stairs to catch up with Jenny just as she was closing her bedroom door. He held the door open with his hand and poked his head inside. “May I come in?” he asked sheepishly.

“Sure,” she answered with a shrug as she sat at her vanity to brush her hair. She looked up into the mirror to see her father slowly walking up to her, hands in pockets. They stared at each other in restrained silence; neither one wanting to be first to speak.

“She told me everything, dad,” Jenny finally broke the palpable tension.

“And?”

“And what?”

“You hate me?”

Her sustained exhale dripped with anger and frustration, though hate was not part of the mix. “No, dad. I don’t hate you,” she assured with a voice cracking with emotion. “ I’m just angry, that’s all. Angry and hurt.” She put her brush down and turned to face him. “Jaime told me something that made me realize how much you loved mom.”

“What’s that?” Steve asked expectantly.

Jenny stared down at her hands neatly folded across her lap, her head hanging low to hide her embarrassment.” She said that when…”

“Yes?”

Jenny drew a cleansing breath to regain her composure. “She said that you may not remember but when you and she made love, you kept saying mom’s name.”

The shocking revelation, though startling, washed away Steve’s guilt at the shameful mistake he had committed, during which an innocent child had been engendered. “To be honest I don’t remember. But one thing I do know it that I loved your mother dearly. She, you and your brother and sister are my life. Sure I’m not perfect. I’ve made mistakes. I still do and I probably will keep on making them, but I’m sure of one thing and it’s that my family is my proudest achievement. Something I would never forsake.” He hung his head in shame to hide the tears threatening to his eyes. “Your mother’s gone now and we need to be strong as a family.” He sniffed back his tears before raising his eyes to meet hers. “I don’t expect you to ever forgive me for what I did. You may resent me for the rest of your life if that is what you wish, but don’t shun away from your brother and sister. They need you, Jenny. Whether you like it or not you will now become their surrogate mother.” With a heavy heart Steve stepped up to Jenny to brush a hand in her silky hair before crossing to the door.

“Dad, wait!” Jenny sobbed, bouncing to her feet to dive into her father’s arms. He held her in a tight embrace, his heart aching at the feel of her body heaving with sobs.

Jaime attended Peggy’s funeral at Steve and Jenny’s request. Following the heartrending ceremony, they all drove back to the ranch for some reminiscence of years gone by.

While Jenny entertained the young ones, Jaime headed out the door to join her mournful friend down by the horse paddock. She found him stroking Peggy’s cherished horse that had trotted by the fence in seek of a pat on the neck.

“He’s a beautiful horse,” Jaime remarked of the majestic bay nuzzling Steve’s shoulder in gratitude.

“Yes, she is. Her name’s Sunrise. Peg named her that because she was born early in the morning just as the sun rose in the horizon. Her favourite time of the day.” Steve gave one last clap on the horse neck and folded his arms against the fence.

“I’m going back to Europe this weekend,” Jaime announced grimly, bracing herself for a reaction that never came. Steve’s silence sliced through her heart. It confirmed that the rift between them was still wide open.

“You’re doing it again.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked with a perplexed frown.

“Running away.”

“I don’t have much of a choice. I’m obviously not welcomed in Ojai anymore.”

Steve leaned his chin on his folded arms and closing his eyes, he mumbled, “Stay.”

“What?”

“I said stay. No one aside from Jenny knows about our brief fling. Steven and Helen love you and they get along fine with Nancy. In a few years she will need a father figure and I like it to be me.”

“Steve, Nancy doesn’t know about you.”

“And so maybe it should stay that way to prevent further grief. We’ve suffered enough, don’t you think?”

Jaime paused to ponder Steve’s request but the turmoil brewing within clouded her judgement of the situation and made it tough to render a decision. “I don’t know if I should do this, Steve. I don’t think you are either. You’ll always see me as the woman who killed your wife. Your eyes might belie your emotions now but sooner or later the mask will fall off and you’ll end up hating me all over again.”

“You may be right. But we won’t know if we don’t try.”

“True.”

“I’m willing to try, specially after what you said to Jenny.”

“What’s that?”

“That I spoke Peggy’s name while we were making love.” He turned to her with a knowing expression. “It’s not true, isn’t it?”

Jaime lowered her head in shame and gave a faint shake of the head. “I lied. It was my way to make up for what I did to your family. You have lost Peggy and your unborn child; I didn’t want you to lose Jenny as well.”

“Thank you,” Steve whispered quaveringly, his eyes filling up with tears. “Will you stay?”

EPILOG

Though reluctant at first, Jaime agreed to stay in Ojai for her daughter’s sake. Nancy needed a father figure in her life but most importantly Jaime wanted her to grow up with siblings.

A year later, the children gave their blessing to Steve and Jaime’s marriage. It was an intimate gathering at the ranch followed by a honeymoon with the kids on a two-week cruise. Jaime legally adopted Steve’s kids as he did her daughter. Nancy’s parentage was never brought up again. Jaime easily filled the void left by Peggy as mother to Steve’s children, though Jenny remained relatively distant in the first few months before the wedding. Surprisingly enough she was the first one to speak up on behalf of her father’s marriage to Jaime.

Four blissful years went by before the grey clouds came rolling in. During one of his routine check-ups Steve was diagnosed with cancer. Rudy assumed the bionic parts were to blame; that eventually the system would come to reject the foreign prosthetics. Months of chemotherapy had proven fruitless in eradicating the spread of the disease and on the eve of their fourth wedding anniversary, Steve died in his home surrounded by his family.

Following Steve’s death, Jaime became an emotional wreck. Her volatile temper and unpredictable behaviour frightened the children to such a degree that Jenny decided it best to move them out of the house. She rented an apartment nearby to keep an eye on her step-mother who was gradually coming to grips with her overwhelming grief.

A year later, tragedy befell the Austin family once again as Jaime was in turn diagnosed with cancer. Although the chemo proved successful in the first months, the remission was short-lived. Rudy was grasping at straws, exhausting every conceivable medical treatment known to man to avoid a repetition, but in vain. Jaime resigned to her fate and waited for death to claim her.

“Jaime?” a voice from behind interrupted her train of thoughts. She looked away from Steve’s grave where she had just laid flowers and smiled reassuringly at the face creased with worry. “You okay?”

Jaime stretched out her arm to clasp Jenny’s hand. “I am. I came here to tell your father about your upcoming wedding. How he would have loved to walk you down the aisle.”

Jenny squatted down next to Jaime and brushed her fingers against the engraved letters in the tombstone. “I know what he would have said: ‘Jennifer, you’re way too young to get married’”, she mimicking mockingly, her eyes taken on a faraway look as her mind swiftly roved back to the day her father asked Jaime in marriage.

“If you were marrying some strange guy you’d met out on the streets, perhaps. But this is Rudy Wells’s nephew. While he was in town and you would go out with him, your father often confessed to me that he wished you and Daniel would eventually marry.”

“He did?” Jenny exclaimed in total surprised.

“Unh unh. So I’m sure he’d approve.” She lifted her eyes heavenwards and broke into a wide blissful smile. “Don’t you, Steve?”

Jenny laced her arm with Jaime’s and leaned her head against her shoulder. “I miss him, Jaime. I miss him so much,” Jenny lamented, tear filling up her eyes.

“I know you do, Sweetie,” Jaime soothed while lovingly rubbing Jenny’s back. “There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about him. I can sense him near, watching over us. I can’t tell he’s proud of his family.”

“I know he’s here. Just wish I could see him and hug him.

“So do I, Jenny. So do I,” wafted the murmur behind her. “You’re going to be okay, girl. You’re tough. And Jaime is right. I do approve of Daniel. He’ll make a fine husband. You’ll have a wonderful long life together with three adorable girls. Wait till you see them, Jen. They are lovely, just like their mother.” The ethereal Steve placed a hand on Jenny’s shoulder. “You’ll have a big job on your hand once I take Jaime with me. Your brother and sisters will need your support more than ever. But you’ll do fine. You always were a resourceful girl. Your mother and I are so proud of you.”

Jenny suddenly swirled on her heels and looked behind her.

“Something wrong?” Jaime asked.

“Just an eerie feeling that someone’s watching us.”

Jenny began scanning the area while Jaime adjusted her bionic ear to pick up any unusual sounds. “I don’t hear anything.”

“Like I said, it was just a feeling.” She rose to her feet and brushed herself off. “I have to go anyway. Daniel’s waiting for me to go shopping for an engagement ring,” Jenny said excitedly.

“Certainly don’t let me keep you.”

“Will you be okay?”

“Of course I will. I’ll see you at home tonight.”

“Okay.” Jenny bent down to give Jaime a kiss on the cheek. She closed her eyes and brushed her fingers on her father and mother’s tombstone. “Bye mom. Bye dad. I’ll be back,” she said in a quavering whisper before turning to walk back to her car.

Jaime watched her until she drove away from the lot. She turned back to Steve’s grave and broke into a wide wistful beam. “She is something, Steve. She’s grown into a fine lady. You’d be proud of her. We all are.” Jaime let out a heavy sigh and heaved herself up. “Well, My Love. I have to leave now. I have some shopping to do for the wedding. We’re all very excited. I hope you and Peggy will be attending?” She bit her trembling bottom lip and dried her tears. “Bye Steve.”

Steve watched her amble back to her car and with tears in his eyes, he blew a whisper into the wind, “See you soon, Jaime.”