In the hush of night, I was started out of sleep by wails similar to the ones Steve uttered in my apartment. I jumped to my feet and dashed down to his room where I saw him thrashing in his bed. “Steve!” I hurried to his side, plumped down on the edge on the bed and gripped his shoulders. “Steve, wake up! Come on!”

Helen and Jim soon loomed in the doorway. “What’s happening?” Helen queried with an edge of hysteria.

“He’s having a nightmare,” I informed the worried parents before turning my attention back to thrashing man. “Hey, Steve,” I joggled him. “Come on, come back to us!” “COME ON!” I shouted with a powerful shake.

At that moment, his eyes shot open. His breath came in short rapid gasps as he tried to establish focus on my form silhouetted against the moonlight beaming through the window.

“You okay, Steve?”

“Cassie? Where…where am I?” He asked in total confusion.

“We’re at your parents’ farm, remember?”

His addled mind took a few seconds to register the information. “Yeah,” he exhaled. He ran a hand through his hair and sunk his head into his pillow.

Helen and Jim approached the bed.

“Son, are you okay?” Helen asked with concern.

“Yeah I’m fine, mom. Sorry I woke you both up.”

“No problem, son,” Jim smiled reassuringly.

“You go back to bed. I’ll be alright.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure mom.” He reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Go back to sleep.”

Helen glanced at me and in return I gave her a nod that conveyed the assurance that I’d be keeping her son company awhile longer. As soon as they were out the door, I turned to Steve with a knowing look. “The plane crash again?”

He nodded and rolled onto his side. He sighed heavily. “The images are haunting me day and night. They’re as clear as I see you.”

“I imagine they’re sewn into your sub conscience. You won’t ever be able to erase them; just have to learn how to control their intensity, lock them in a mental drawer under lock and key so they won’t bother you as much.”

He closed his eyes in despair. “How?”

“First and foremost, you need to admit you weren’t responsible for that boy’s death.”

His eyebrows knitted in pain. “I can’t. I am responsible.”

“No you’re not, Steve!” I insisted. “Look at me!” He slowly tilted his head up and opened his eyes. “Remember when I shouldered the guilt for my partner’s death in the Phoenix counterfeit affair?” He nodded weakly. “You took this distraught girl aside and made her understand that things in life always happen for a reason. We don’t always know why on the spur of the moment, but we eventually do. There’s a purpose for everything that occurs in life.” I began rubbing his arm in a soothing motion. “ What happened up on that mountain was already written in the stars. You played a part in the destiny of three people. You had no choice in the matter. One had to go and no matter how you play the tape, the outcome remains the same because it had to be this way.”

He inhaled a deep sustained breath and exhaled loudly. “It’s hard.”

“Don’t I know it?” I ran a hand through his hair. “Don’t let it tear you apart, Steve. I don’t want to lose my best friend. I need him to give me a few kicks in the butt when I’m down.”

He chuckled at my joke and rolled onto his back. He clasped my hand and squeezed it. “Thanks. I think I will try to follow my advice.”

I flashed him a gleaming smile. “That’s my boy!”

“Go back to sleep. I’ll be alright now.”

“I’m sure you will.” I squeezed his hand back and crossed to the door. I stopped and glanced back at Steve whose eyes were closed. My heart brimmed with joy at the peaceful look on his face.

The next morning, Jim and Steve were up at the crack of dawn to gear up for our fishing trip to the lake. Not being an early bird, I stayed in bed until 8:00 upon which time, I slouched down the stairs with a heavy yawn.

“Good morning, Sleepy Head,” greeted my ever-so-charming friend.

“Good morning, “ I mumbled through a yawn.

“You’ll have to excuse Cassie, dad. She is not a morning person,” Steve remarked teasingly at my expense.

“Could have fooled me, son,” Jim chaffed back.

I scanned around the living room and the kitchen for any sign of Helen. Steve informed me that she was getting ready to go into town after he offered to drive her on his way to see Rudy at the lab.

“Oh, I see,” I managed to squeeze through another yawn. “I’m sorry.”

“Cassie, why don’t you go take a lie-down while mom and I go into town. When we come back, we’ll go fishing,” Steve suggested.

“No, I’ll be okay. I just need to get those yawns out of the way and I’ll be as fresh as a morning glory.”

“Good morning, Cassandra,” Helen greeted jocundly. “Did you manage to get back to sleep okay?”

“Fell like a log the second my head hit the pillow.”

“That’s good. There’s still some bacon, ham and sausages on the hot plate in the kitchen if you want some. There’s orange juice and fresh strawberries and raspberries in the frig.”

“Thanks Helen.”

“Ready to go, mom?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s go then.” Steve ushered his mother out the door and turned to me. “We should be back before noon.”

“Alright. Take your time and be careful out there.”

“Yes Mother,” he teased with a wicked wink before closing the front door.

“That son of yours is quite a number, Jim.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“That’s good to know I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

It was 12:15 when I suddenly felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I automatically assumed it was on account of something I ate that didn’t agree with me. That is until the phone rang and Jim picked it up. When I noticed the blood drained from his face, my pangs intensified.

“Jim, what is it?”

He sat, numb with grief at what Rudy was telling him at the other end. He looked at me with an terrorized look. “There’s been an accident.”

I slowly rose to me feet, keeping my horrified expression fastened on his. “Steve and Helen?”

He nodded and dropped the phone onto the floor. I hurried over to him to pick up the receiver. “Hello!”

“Cassandra? It’s Rudy. There’s been an accident.”

“How are they?”

“Helen’s dead.”

I gasped in horror at the dreadful news. My heart skipped a beat at the thought of Steve having met a similar fate. “And Steve, is he…?”

“He’s in bad shape. You’d better come with Jim.”

“We’re on our way.”

I glanced at Jim who was in total shock over the news of his wife’s death. I stepped over to the armchair where he was sitting and crouched down in front of him. “Jim, I’ll change and then I’ll drive us to the hospital. You wait for me?”

He continued to stare blankly at his feet, not acknowledging my question.

“Jim!”

He nodded weakly without looking up. I stood and rushed up the stairs to my room where I took a few deep breaths to recover my composure.

At the hospital, we hurried to the Nurses desk where Rudy was reviewing Steve’s chart. Luckily, he was at the hospital visiting with a colleague when the call of the accident involving a man with mechanic limbs came through.

“Rudy?”

“Cassie, Jim. Please come with me.” Rudy ushered us to the waiting room where he asked us to take a seat.

“It’s really bad isn’t it?” I ventured to ask, having already surmised the answer from the grim expression on his face.

Rudy inhaled deeply before perching himself on the arm of the sofa where we were sitting on pins and needles. “There was massive internal bleeding. We did our best to staunch the haemorrhage. We’ve inserted a drain to evacuate the fluid collecting in his brain from the concussion he sustained. Hopefully it’ll be enough to relieve the pressure without our having to operate. He has a broken pelvis and quite a few fractured ribs; two of them nicked the base of the lungs. I deactivated the neurolink to his legs and arm, which will require a few repairs, but none that I can’t manage.”

“Did…did he regain consciousness at any time between here and the site of the accident?” I asked with apprehension at the thought of Steve having suffered.

“No, he didn’t. Right now he’s in a coma.”

“And Helen?” Jim managed in a faint voice.

“She was DOA. I was told she died on impact.”

Jim heaved out a heavy sign before burying his head in his hands.

“Rudy, what happened?”

“Their car crashed head on into a tree. I’ve been told from the looks of the wreck that Steve had been driving at very high speed. At this point, they have no idea whether this was the result of a hit-and-run or simply a mechanical failure.” Rudy placed a hand on Jim’s shoulder. “Jim, we’re going to need you to identify Helen’s body.”

Jim gave a weak nod of the head.

“May we see Steve?”

“He’s in ICU. Only one of you can. You go on Cassandra while I take Jim down to the morgue.”

“Alright.”

“Jim, I’ll go with Cassie to show her Steve’s room. Then I’ll be back,” Rudy addressed a prostrated Jim who responded with another weak nod.

My heart leapt to my throat and I stifled a gasp of horror upon setting sight on the various tubes coming in and out of my friend lying recumbent on the bed. Rudy took me by the shoulder to steer me the rest of the way. As I neared the bed, I noted the extreme pallor of Steve’s face and the stillness of his body, both of which made it difficult for me to maintain a steady poise.

“Tell me Rudy, what are his chances?” I asked with a lump in my throat, my eyes fastened on Steve’s chest I saw rising with every intake of mechanical air the ventilator was pushing into his damaged lungs.

“In the condition he’s in, I would be inclined to say that I’m not expecting him to survive he next twenty-four hours, but…” he quickly added before I could let panic invade me, “this is Steve Austin we’re talking about. Your fearless partner. If anyone can pull through this, it’s him.”

“Yeah,” I breathed out.

“Talk to him, Cassandra. He listens to you. Urge him back to us.”

I drew in a deep breath to recover my composure. “I’ll do my best.”

He tapped me on the shoulder before leaving the room. I shifted a chair next to the bed and sat. I cradled Steve’s left hand in mine, hoping to convey some of my strength into his battered shell. My face wrinkled as I searched for the right words that would belie my emotions and prevent him from sensing my inner turmoil. I trembled to think of the emotional battle he was facing should he survive. I had been successful in pulling him away from one edge; but this ordeal was sure to hurl him right into the abyss.

“Feel my hand, Steve. Draw strength from it. I’ve got plenty to spare,” I quavered, gently squeezing his limp hand. I leaned in closer and whispered, “Don’t you dare give up, you hear me?” I brushed back a loose lock of hair before placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

While Steve remained in a coma, I attended Helen’s memorial service with Oscar and Rudy. Jim was devastated by his wife’s tragic death and I feared that his son’s grievous condition would only add to his despondency, eventually driving him to the brink of a total breakdown. Steve needed him and he needed Steve but neither could provide what each one was seeking.

As days wore into weeks, I settled into a comfortable routine of keeping house for Jim, while I spent half the days at Steve’s bedside, offering to give him sponge baths and exercise his limbs. I would read to him and relate some funny accounts of my missions abroad. Rudy had managed to successfully repair the damage done to his legs, but chose not to restore the neurolink before his broken pelvis had a chance to mend.

The head concussion was a serious matter. The fact that Steve remained comatose for a period of six weeks gave reasons to worry about his ever regaining consciousness. Regardless of the grim prognosis, I strived to keep an optimistic outlook.

Seven weeks following the horrific accident, Steve showed signs of receptivity. As I was lathering his chest with soap, I noted a smile flickering on his lips. I started tickling him on the sides as Rudy instructed me and to my great surprise, he squirmed and moaned at my touch.

“You felt that, didn’t you?” I gushed with delight at his response. “You want some more tickling?” I gave him another sample that elicited a grin from ear to ear. I then rinsed out the soap and pulled the blanket up to his chin before stepping out of the room to fetch Rudy.

Minutes later, Rudy and I ran back to the room to see the patient’s eyelids flutter. Rudy lifted the right one to study the corneal reflex

“Come on, Steve. You can do it,” Rudy coaxed, snapping his fingers to prod Steve into opening his eyes.

Rudy tapped him lightly on the cheek to prevent him from sinking further. Steve blinked open his eyes and frowned.

“Steve! Look at me!” Rudy requested of his befuddled patient. Steve slowly tilted his head toward the voice. “Do you recognize me?”

Steve stared vacantly at Rudy as his dull mind attempted to process the information. Following ten seconds of excruciating anguish, he nodded feebly, much to our relief. Rudy vacated his spot so I could continue to keep Steve’s attention while he checked on his vital signs.

“Hey Blue Eyes,” I smiled broadly at him. “Long time no see.” My smile turned into a worried frown when his face contorted in pain. “Steve, what is it?” I glanced up at Rudy who leaned over him.

“Steve, are you in any pain?” Rudy queried.

“Le…le…legs,” he stuttered in a whisper.

“They were badly damaged. I chose to disconnect the neurolink so you won’t feel any discomfort.” He leaned over him. “Steve, do you remember what happened?”

Steve closed his eyes to access the memory. Suddenly, his eyes shot wide open with terror. His breathing increased and his heartbeat skyrocketed.

“Steve, easy now,“ I mollified with a hand on his shoulder.

“A…ar….ar…arm,” he stammered with fear. “J…je…jerked,” he gulped.

“Your arm jerked?” I translated.

He nodded, scrunching his eyes together. “Lost...lost control.” He gaped pop-eyed as the vision of the oncoming tree flashed before his eyes. “Crash…nooooooooo,” he choked.

“It’s okay, Steve. Take it easy,” I continued to appease with a stroke of my hand against his cheek.

“M..mom?” he quavered, tears suffusing in his eyes.

Again, I glanced up at Rudy for answers.

“Steve, calm down. It’s okay. She’s here. She’s okay,” Rudy fibbed to allay the frantic patient’s fears.

When I frowned quizzically at him, he gave me a small shake of the head.

“Steve, it was an accident, wasn’t it?”

Steve nodded and moistened his parched lips.

“Take it easy, Steve. I’ll be right back.” Rudy beckoned me out of the room with a slight motion of his head.

“Steve, you wait for me?”

I waited for a nod before I left the room to join Rudy in the hall. “Rudy, I think I understand why you lied to him about his mother, but do you think it’s wise?”

“Right now he’s no condition to receive a shock of this magnitude. It might drain him of the strength he needs to get back on his feet and destroy his will to live. We need to make believe Helen is being cared for and when I deem his condition satisfactory enough, we’ll tell him she slipped away.”

“Rudy, don’t you realize he’s going to ask to see her, and then what?”

Rudy heaved a heavy sigh and shook his head. “I don’t know. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“Alright, but warn me when you do get to that bridge. I don’t want to be there when trays start flying across the room, “I said with a marked sarcasm.

Rudy let out a muffled chuckle and led me back into Steve’s room.

The patient’s condition improved with each passing days. I was grateful to Oscar to having extended my vacation time so I could keep Steve company during his recovery. On the fourth day, I entered his room to find him sipping his orange juice with his back propped up against a heap of pillows.

“Hey Blue Eyes!” I greeted with an exuberant cheer.

He strained a smile at me and rasped, “There’s my Brown-Eyed girl!”

“How you doing?”

“Okay. Still weak as a newborn kitten but I’m getting there.”

“Rudy’s very pleased with your progress.”

“Yeah,” he sighed heavily.

I perched myself on the edge of the bed and cocked my head at the obvious despair etched on his face. “Penny for your thoughts.”

“I want to see my mother but Rudy won’t let me.”

I lowered my gaze and squirmed with great uneasiness.

“Cassie, tell me what’s going on? I sense there’s something you both aren’t telling me.” He cocked his head to search my eyes. “Cassie, look at me,” he ordered sternly.

I bit my upper lip to summon the courage to face his stare. Much as I tried to disguise my emotions, Steve was able to see right through me.

“She’s dead, isn’t she?”

I closed my eyes, unable to answer.

“Cassie, dammit!” he lashed out. “You never lied to me before. Please don’t start now. I need to know. Is she alive?” he asked with a broken voice.

I stared at him with bleary eyes and shook my head. The news hit him like a ton of bricks. As I went to lay a hand on his shoulder, he swapped it away. “Get out!” he spat before he slid under the cover. “Get out!” he yelled louder.

“Steve, listen to me. I was against the idea of lying to you from the beginning. Rudy thought it best under the circumstances. You were in no condition to take the news.”

He angrily turned his head away from me. “Just get out!”

Shaken by Steve’s reaction, I stood from the bed and stared at him with a numb expression. I then bowed to his demand and left the room. Out in the hall, I slumped against the wall and strived to hold my tears. The events of the past weeks had drained me emotionally and I realized I was at the end of my tether.

In the following days, Steve withdrew within himself, sinking deeper into a slough of despond that neither Rudy nor I could prevent.

As days wore on, Steve retreated deeper in his own world of nothingness. Then word came through to Oscar’s office that the OSI Melbourne compound where they were conducting test on the fusion of hydrogen had sprung a computer leak. A hacker that the OSI and FBI were hunting down had wiped out all of my notes. My presence over there was therefore urgently needed to reprogram the mainframe. I felt like I was abandoning Steve in his moment of need, but I had little choice in the matter.

The day before I had to leave for Australia I visited Steve once last time. I sat on his bed, hoping to elicit a response but he wouldn’t acknowledge my presence.

“Oscar is sending me to Australia for a few weeks. There was a major breach of security at the Melbourne compound. All of my notes on the ‘Gamac’ project were lost, including the backups.” I gauged his reaction, but there was none. “I promise to keep in touch.” I leaned in and brushed a kiss on his cheek, which left him cold.

I stood and crossed to the door. I stopped to glance back at him one last time before I headed down the hall toward the exit.