“I know you’re doing your best, Russ,” Oscar conceded over the phone, though his icy tone was implying otherwise. “Stick to that trail and keep me abreast of any new development however inconsequential it might be.” Oscar hung up just as I marched into his office unannounced.

“All right, where is he?” I demanded forcefully with an unyielding jaw.

“I wish I knew,” Oscar answered apathetically, his mind benumbed with worry.

“Don’t give me that!” I squawked with a predatory expression that needed no justification.

“I told you, I don’t know.” he retorted truthfully, waving aside my bawling as he made his way to the window with hands in pockets. I treaded closely on his heels, refusing to yield. “I sent him on assignment in Boston two days ago. Everything was proceeding accordingly. He had the suspect in sight and was moving to phase two which was to break into the company’s safe and retrieve their arms catalog.” Oscar paused to gulp down the emotional lump in his throat before continuing glumly, “He was supposed to contact me when the job was done. He didn’t. The last call was placed at two fifteen yesterday afternoon. Since then…nothing.”

“This sounds like a routine assignment. Where did you sent him? Whose safe was he going to break into?”

Oscar turned to me with a dazed expression in his vacuous eyes. “The infamous foreign arms dealer, your old friend Jasper McKettrick.”

“What?” I gasped. “That can’t be. This guy’s dead. Steve and I saw him drown in that river.”

“Oh he’s alive all right and stealing our own artillery to sell to terrorists abroad. That’s why we needed the catalog of all the arms listed so we could tail him to his next clandestine meeting and collar him as he made the sale. But now…”

“Now Steve might be dead. McKettrick swore he would kill us if we ever got in his path again, but that was before he supposedly drown.”

“I didn’t want to send Steve but when he overheard me discuss it with Russ, he nearly threatened to plaster me against the wall if I didn’t give him the assignment. You should have seen him. He was raving mad. His eyes were shooting daggers. Somehow I don’t think McKettrick was the only reason for taking on this mission.” He turned to me with a knowing look. “Do you?” he taunted.

“Don’t you dare try to pin that on me, Oscar,” I snapped between gritted teeth. “I’m not the bad guy here. If anything I’m a victim of circumstances. Now where is Steve?”

A short beat later Oscar stepped up to his desk to hand me a file containing the briefing’s headlines. A quick cursory look and my heart jumped down my throat. “I know this place.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. When McKettrick held Steve and me captive I was able to worm my way into a guard’s affections and he later became very talkative. He thought maybe he’d have a chance with me if he helped me escape, which he did. It’s thanks to him that Steve and I were able to break out of that dungeon. He mentioned McKettrick’s mansion in Boston but was sketchy about it. Besides it was trivial at the time. What was fascinating about that house he said was the maze of underground tunnels. Since that guard is long dead I don’t think McKettrick is aware that I’m privy to those secret passages. I have one up on him.” I turned to Oscar and casually said, “Let me go. I’ll get him out of there.”

“No,” Oscar replied curtly before making his way back to his desk.

“What do you mean no?” I barked, the veins in my neck standing out in livid ridges.

“You said it yourself that McKettrick threatened the both of you if you ever crossed his path again. I can’t risk it.”

“But it was okay to send Steve?” Oscar remained silent. “Granted he would have made mince meat out of you if you hadn’t but you know better than to throw him in the lion’s den?” Oscar was at a lost of counterarguments to condemn the rationale behind my statement. “I won’t believe that Steve is dead. That’s not McKettrick’s style. But I fear he is torturing him to extract confidential information and once he has them…” I turned to Oscar with a look of doom.

“Okay. I’ll allow it but you will not go alone. I’ll assign Russ and a few men to back you.”

“All right but make sure they keep from under foot. I need my space to perform flawlessly; otherwise Steve and I are both dead.”

“If he isn’t already,” Oscar alleged with a strong insinuation that sent a chill down my spine.

“Don’t underestimate your golden boy, boss. He’s a shrewd one.”

“I’ll have the men ready in about an hour. Where should they meet you?”

“My apartment. I’m going back there to get a few things I’ll need to slither my way inside McKettrick’s fortress.”

“I’ll tell them.” As I started for the door, a caring voice wafted from behind, “Cassandra, don’t be a hero out there. Steve will break my neck if anything happened to his favourite girl,” he hinted.

“We wouldn’t want that,” I chaffed with a friendly wink before exiting the office.

“All right Austin,” McKettrick hurled as he threw another electric discharge coursing threw Steve’s body, making it arched in pain. “you’re going to tell me about Goldman’s pet project?”

“Go…go ta hell McKettrick,” Steve sputtered through clenched teeth “Why…why don’t ya kill me and be done with,” he managed to add in a single breath that sapped all of his remaining energy. As his vacuous eyes slowly closed, McKettrick jerked him back to reality with another surge that thrust Steve into the throes of agony. A sense of utter helplessness washed over him as he suddenly felt his legs and arm go completely numbed under the restraints to his ankles and wrists.

“Nothing would please me more than to see you rot in hell Austin,” McKettrick spewed out as he leaned over Steve’s prone body, smiling triumphantly as the wheezing breaths brushing against his cheeks. “But before you do I want to make you suffer just like I did. You left me for dead but I won’t make the same mistake with you. Once I’m through, your corpse’ll be so mutilated that the buzzards won’t have only scraps to feast on.” Steve strove to curb the craving to spit in the man’s face. He merely shot McKettrick a glare that expressed his reluctance to concede defeat.

Without warning a needle plunged into the neck, sending him into dark oblivion within seconds.

While Steve was carried back to his cell in the basement, I settled to work on neutralizing the security system by methodically severing wires displayed at strategic spots around the back entrance. I needed to clear access to a trap door that would lead me down the maze of tunnels where I could sneak my way through ventilation shafts and find the room where Steve was being held.

I slithered my way through the narrow shafts to a room where a guard stood next to a steel door. “That must be the room,” I thought to myself. I inspected the grid to see if it were easily removable before I proceeded to attract the guard in my direction. The noise I made pricked his curiosity, luring him straight at me. As he squinted to see the inside of the vent I sprayed him with a potent stuff that rendered him unconscious in seconds. I then dislodged the grid and placed it inside the shaft, after which I slid down to the floor and swept the hall for any surveillance cameras before snatching the keys to unbolt the iron door.

I close it behind me and dove to the cot where Steve laid unconscious. I pursed my lips to hold my emotions in check as my eyes roamed over his battered frame that spoke of the hell he experienced. “Steve! Steve wake up!” I coaxed softly with a nudge on his shoulder. “Come on Blue Eyes, speak to me. I need you help getting you out of this hellhole.”

I persisted in shaking him out of his deep sleep and finally my efforts were awarded when a small moan squeezed through his parched lips. “That’s it, 34, fight it.”

Steve opened his eyes a slit. “Cas…Cassie?” I leaned closer to flash him a smile. “Is that you?” he whispered feebly.

“That’s me, Blue Eyes.” I took his hand and squeezed it lightly to give reassurance that I was not a figment of his imagination. “I’m here. I’m real. I’ve come to take you out of here.”

“You shouldn’t have come. Too…too dangerous.”

“Yeah I know it is, but wouldn’t you have done the same for me?” I waited for an answer that didn’t come. Instead Steve closed his eyes and tilted his head the opposite way. “I thought so. Come on, we have to hurry before the guard comes to and alerts McKettrick.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can. I’ll help you.” I started assisting him to a sitting position when he grabbed my arm and stared at me with a terrorized expression. “Can’t move my legs. Electrocution. The power cells are dead.”

“All right then. I’ll carry you.”

“Don’t…don’t be silly.”

“It’s either that or we die here together. Take you pick,” I challenged sternly, leaving little room for argument. Steve couldn’t help but chuckle at my stubbornness but it paid off as he held out his left hand for a hoist up. Once in a sitting position I slowly assisted him to his feet. Surprisingly he had regained some feeling back and was able to slouch his way out of the cell with me. Getting him to squeeze through that ventilation shaft was a hassle but I managed to push him up and he did the rest with his arms. I followed behind, giving him small nudges to help him slither through the hole until we came to the other side.

“Are you okay, 34?” He gave me a slight nod of the head that failed to convince me but given our predicament there was no time to nurse any wound. We had to act fast and leave the premises at once. Steve drew a few deep breaths and hobbled along behind me.

“How…how did you know how to get in without being seen?”

“I knew about that maze of tunnels and the trap doors.”

“How?”

“My charm, Blue Eyes. I used it to wring information out of that guard who helped us escape McKettrick’s clutches during our last mission. That’s how I was able to sneak through the house unnoticed. Hopefully it’ll work both ways. Just remember to keep away from the cameras’ frame.” My hand was suddenly jerked back followed by a loud thud. “Steve!” I dove to my knees beside Steve too exhausted to continue. “Come on, Steve. We’re almost there. Don’t quit on me now.” He gave a weak smile and picked himself up.

We crossed the yard out of the cameras’ view and succeeded in reaching the gates where Russ and his men were waiting across the street. I could feel Steve leaning heavily on me as we hurried to one of the cars. The second I slid in the backseat with Steve, his head dropped onto my shoulder as he fell unconscious.

“Quick, get them to the Medical Center,” Russ ordered one of his men. “We’ll handle the rest from here.”

“Don’t worry Blue Eyes. Rudy will make you as good as new. And when you’re back on your feet you’re going to suffer my wrath.” I let out an exasperated sigh and kissed him on the forehead. “I love you anyway, you big fool.”

Following a three-hour long surgery to mend his bionic limbs, Steve was placed in the intensive care unit where a round-the-clock team of nurses monitored his vitals every fifteen minutes. Upon my insistence, Rudy granted me special admittance to keep a vigil on the patient. I sat ensconced in a cushiony armchair, my eyes riveted on the rise and fall of the bare chest, mentally counting every breath, when a sudden change in rhythm disrupted my concentration. I leapt to my feet to stand by the bed. I brought down the bed rail and leaned over the awakening patient; anxious to get a peek at those baby blues I saw peering through a slit.

A few blinks later, Steve managed to establish the identity of his visitor flashing a wide beam. “Hi,” he breathed out weakly.

“Hi yourself. How are you feeling?

“I’ve been better. So…what’s, what’s the damage?”

“Nothing much. Rudy fixed the nuts and bolts. Those parts are as good as new. As for the human half it might take some time to heal. The drugs should be completely out of your system in less than forty-eight hours with no ill effects.”

“That’s good,” he replied with a disarming aloofness.

I allowed a short beat to let silence linger before speaking my peace. “I won’t tell you how stupid it was to take that assignment.”

“I had to,” he retorted curtly with a tinge of annoyance.

“Oscar said he didn’t want to give you the assignment but that you threatened to pin him to the wall if he didn’t”

“The job required special skills that other agents lack. Besides I wanted to get McKettrick off circulation once and for all.”

“At the risk of your own life?”

“Come on, Cassie. You know better than to ask that question,” he scorned with a condescending look. “He threatened to kill you, remember?”

“As I recall he threatened to kill you too.” Silence was my only answer. “Steve, was there another reason why you threw yourself into the dragon’s lair?” He tilted his head sideways to avert from my scrutinizing gaze. “I thought so.”

“No you don’t.”

“Don’t do this to me, Steve. Lord knows I don’t want to hurt you.” Tears began streaming down his face but would stubbornly refuse to lock gazes with me. “Alright. I’ll let it go for now but don’t think you’ve won this argument,” I jested, leaning in to drop a kiss on his forehead but held back to avoid aggravating the already tense situation. “Is it okay if I come visit you this evening?” I waited for an answer that came in the form of a shy nod of the head. “Okay. I’ll see you tonight.”

As I left the room I could sense his eyes on my retreating back but refrained from casting a look in his direction, afraid of having to deal with his confession. It would have to be addressed eventually but now wasn’t the time as I felt too emotionally vulnerable to discuss it.

When I returned to my apartment I was slightly surprised to find Richard sitting on the sofa watching television.

“You weren’t there so I let myself in,” he explained with a slight embarrassment.

“It’s all right,” I assured in a heavy-laden sigh.

“You okay?”

“I was just at the hospital.”

“Steve all right?”

“Yeah…well…he’s still a bit out of it but Rudy assures me he’ll be back on his feet in a day or two”

“That’s good news.” Seeing how he failed to wring a smile on the forlorn face, he stepped up to me and gently lifted my chin up to will my doleful eyes to his. “Hey, cheer up. Steve always lands on his feet. You said so yourself.” I gave an unenthusiastic nod of the head. “Listen I’ve made reservations at La Playa Blanca tonight. I thought you could do with a romantic night out on the town to get your mind off the mission.”

“I’m sorry. I promised Steve I’d visit him tonight.”

“I see,” he said with a cynicism that bristled me up.

“He almost died, Richard.”

“And what about you? It was no walk in the park for you either. Cassie you have to think of yourself. I know Steve’s your friend…”

“That’s right,” I bluntly interrupted, “he is my friend and friends are there for each other.”

“And what about your fiancé? Where do I fit in?” He wilted under my fierce gaze and repented, “I’m sorry Cassie. That didn’t come out the way I wanted to. It’s just that I’m concerned about what this is doing to you.”

“I’ll be all right.”

“I sense we’re drifting apart somehow.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I scoffed, though I couldn’t bring myself to stare him into the eyes afraid he might read through me.

“Am I? Cassie, look at me.” A few beats later I managed to timidly meet his gaze. “What’s going on?”

“Please, just let me be for a while. I need some time alone.”

“For what?”

“To think things through.”

“I thought you already did?”

“Please Richard,” I begged once last time with a soft kiss to allay the mounting tension. “I need this.”

“Well okay,” he huffed out with bitter reluctance. He wended his way to the sofa to grab his jacket and crossed to the door. “Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

That night I keep vigil on Steve who slept soundly. I sat by the bed distractedly studying his features as my mind roved back on the night he kissed me. My lips tingled and my heart pounded at the memory. “What’s happening to me,” I silently berated myself for entertaining passionate thoughts about Steve. I stood from my chair and took a cleansing walk down the hall.

“Something on your mind?” wafted the caring voice from behind.

I stopped and turned around to face Rudy standing with a worried frown. “Not really. Just have a lot on my mind.”

“The wedding?” I let out a chuckle at the word that once sent shivers coursing throughout my body. “It’s not the wedding. Let me guess…”

“Don’t Rudy. I’m in no mood to be humored tonight,” I cut rather harshly. “I need to work it out by myself.”

“You need help Cassie.”

“How would you know? You have no idea what’s bothering me.”

“Sure I do. We all do. It’s no secret around here that you and Steve belong together. Nature is taking its course and you are both fighting it. It’s not healthy.”

“Rudy, I’m engaged to Richard Hayden. I’ve agreed to become his wife.”

“Only because Little Jeremy stirred up maternal instincts within you. You’ve acted on an emotion; not a feeling; one so deep you can’t deny its existence.”

“Steve is like a brother. It would be too awkward,” I attempted to explain, though I failed to even convince myself of the rationale behind my statement.

“That was once your excuse to keep your distances, but it doesn’t hold any weight now. Listen to your heart, girl. It will provide the right answer for you. Remember, it’s forever.” I strained a smile at the wisdom behind his words. He in turn reciprocated with a friendly hand on my shoulder. “If it’s good, don’t fight it or you’ll wind up regretting it for the rest of your life.”

Steve and I talk most of the night about our mutual feelings for each other. In the wee hours of the night he drifted off to sleep and I returned home more troubled than ever. I fixed myself a cup of hot chocolate and went to sit on the sofa, waiting for sleep that never came. In mid morning, I decided to place a call to England to enquire about my young friend Jeremy whom I missed something fierce.

“Aunt Cassie!” he exulted.

“Hello there Jeremy? How are you?”

“I’m fine. I have a pony.”

“You do?” What’s his name?”

“Twinkle. Aunt Julie gave it to me.”

“That’s very kind of her. You like her don’t you?”

“She’s okay,” the boy replied halfheartedly with a shrug. “When are you and Uncle Steve coming?”

“Oh I don’t know about Uncle Steve but I plan to come and visit before Christmas. I want to bring you my special present.”

“I can’t wait!” he rejoiced, his small frame squirming in excitement.

“I might bring Uncle Richard along. Would that be okay?” I hazarded to ask to test the waters. When no answer came I reiterated my request. “Jeremy? Would it be okay?”

“Why don’t you come with Uncle Steve?” he whined. “I love him. He’s so funny.”

“I know you do Jeremy but you see Uncle Richard is my fiancé.”

“What’s that?”

“It means we’re going to be married.”

“Yark!” was his only reply.

“You don’t like him. Why is that?”

Jeremy shrugged. “I don’t know. I just don’t like him.”

“There has to be a reason. I like him.”

“Why?”

His straightforwardness stumped me. More disturbing was my failure to provide an instant reply to his question. The once tingling sensation the thought of marrying Richard would send through my body had now subsided. I closed my eyes to delve deep into the deep recesses of my soul in an attempt to stir the feeling back. “Aunt Cassie? Are you still there?”

“Yeah, yes I am. I just…,” I stuttered as I scrambled for an answer to the boy’s question. I then shockingly realized that the fire once burning bright within had slowly dwindled to a flickering flame. My heart was longer pounding wildly at the sound of Richard’s name but that conversely Steve’s had that effect. Taking a deep breath to recover my composure I decided to veer off the delicate subject of the men in my life for fear of crumbling in front of the boy. “Listen Jeremy I’m sorry but I have to go. I’ll call you again later.”

“Promise?”

“I’m course I promise. You kiss your Aunt Julie for me.”

“I will.”

I waited for a dial tone before putting my own receiver down on the hook. I grabbed the cushion next to me and set it on my lap as I slowly curled up in a ball. “What’s happening to me? I can’t be in love with Steve?”

A knock at the door roused me out of my daze. Two cleansing breaths later I rose from the sofa and went to answer it. “Richard?!” I exclaimed with a mixture of surprise and disappointment. “I didn’t expect you. Come in.”

“Am I catching you at a bad time?” he asked, troubled by the icy greeting.

“No. I was just on the phone with Jeremy.”

“How is the little guy?”

“He’s doing fine. His aunt bought him a pony. He’s very excited about it.” I’m thinking of visiting sometime next month. I want to bring him his Christmas present.”

“I thought you’d want to wait next year seeing how we have a romantic getaway planned,” he reminded with a come-hither wink as he enlaced me in his arms. “It’s going to be wonderful just the two of us,” he drawled lustily, leaning in to steal a kiss.

“I was thinking of going in early December. That way it won’t interfere with our plans.” I strove to sound ecstatic about the prospect of spending two glorious weeks in the hot tropics of Hawaii but failed. Richard frowned in puzzlement at the brown eyes that belied my emotions. “Do you mind?”

Richard shrugged. “No I don’t see any inconvenience. I guess I could ask Oscar for an extension on my vacation time.”

“I…euh…I was thinking of going alone,” I hemmed and hawed, cringing inwardly as I braced myself for his reaction.

“You want to go alone? Don’t you mean with Steve?” he implied with a crushing cynicism that prickled me.

My eyes darkened and narrowed in contempt. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that. You’d rather spent time with Steve than with your own fiancé.” He irately threw his jacket on the sofa and went to fix himself a drink.

“That’s not true,” I defended. “I was there for a friend who needed a shoulder to cry on. Steve had just lost the woman he wanted to marry. Put yourself in his place. How devastated would you be if I…” my sentence hung in mid air upon noticing the aloofness glaring back at me. “I wonder if you can….put yourself in Steve’s place.”

“Try to fill my shoes once in a while, Cassie,” he retorted icily. “You’re always there for him; mothering him. It’s as though you don’t think he can fend for himself. He’s a big boy. If he so much cuts his finger, you’re there to put a band-aid on.”

“Well, well, well,” I fumed, laboring to quell the bile rising within me. “Aren’t we the jealous boyfriend,” I mocked.

“Jealous? I’m not, believe me. I’m just…” he paused to recover his composure and continued on a softer tone, “I just miss being with you, that’s all. Can you blame me for that?”

“No I’m not holding it against you but you must understand what Steve and I mean to each other. We’re like brother and sister. And yes! Maybe I am mothering him. That’s what sisters do. I don’t hear him complaining. And believe me when something bothers him he doesn’t mince words. He comes out with it straightforwardly.”

“You pamper him too much Cassie. He’s used to it.”

“I don’t believe this!” I hissed. “I won’t apologize for something I feel is right. You seem to appreciate all the attention I’m giving you. How is this any different?”

“WAS giving me. What makes you think that if Steve had married Connie he wouldn’t have forgotten all about you within the week?” He huffed out a breath and with it the last of his frustration. Then on a calmer tone, “Look don’t take this the wrong way…”

“I am.” I marched over to the door and yanked it open. “Get out!”

“Cassie you’re upset….”

“You’re damn right I am. Get out!” My dark seething eyes bore no mercy. Richard wilted under my fierce glare and left the apartment without so much of an apologetic glance. I flung the door closed and pounded my fist against the wall. “Damn him! Damn all of you!”

I spent the next forty-eight hours lost in my thoughts; my mind was a complete shamble. I required stillness within and without to put everything into perspective and see my way clear to make a sound decision. The phone would ring but I would merely glance at it without touching it, suspecting it was Richard trying to reach out. A call to my mother in New England provided the answer I desperately needed to untangle this web of confusion.

It was close to noon when I drove to the hospital with a light snack I had prepared especially for Steve as a peace offering. I was surprised and somewhat concern to find his bed empty. I set the picnic basket aside and went to look for Rudy. The nurse at the station directed me to the special bionics section where I found Rudy perfecting a bionic component for Steve’s arm.

“Hi Rudy.”

“Cassie! Let me guess. You’re wondering where Steve is?”

“You read my mind. I went by his room and the bed was empty.”

“I discharged him early this morning. He was raring to go and you know how stubborn he can be. I couldn’t convince him to stay another day nor could I retrain him. I did prescribe rest for next couple of days. But will he heed my advice?” Rudy chuckled.

“You sure he’s strong enough to be out on his own?”

“Sure,” Rudy assured. “Physically he’s fine, emotionally,” he turned to me with a condescending expression “that’s another story.”

I raised an eyebrow at the accusatory overtone in his voice. “Don’t you be looking at me like I’m the big bad wolf. Steve and I were doing splendidly until you pushed him in the other direction”

“And for cause.”

“I’m not here to discuss my love life,” I dismissed abruptly as anger and frustration threatened to overcome me. “I just came by to bring Steve a light lunch. I’ll catch him at his house.” On that acrid note I briskly walked out of the lab, leaving a bewildered Rudy in my wake.

I parked alongside the curb and took a breather to suppress the crushing emotions whirling around in my head. I glanced at Steve’s house and sighed. “Why is it so difficult?” A few deep cleansing breaths later, I stepped out of the car and with an unwavering step, marched up to the front door. Three rings later I unbolted the door with my key and entered, heedful not to make any noise that would rouse him. I set the basket on the table and padded down the hall to his bedroom, hoping to see him napping. My brow furrowed at the empty bed. Looking around the room I noticed his wardrobe doors were open and most of his clothes were gone.

I drove to the OSI where I marched up to Oscar’s office and barged in unannounced. “All right, where is he?” I demanded domineeringly with eyes shooting daggers at my bewildered interlocutor.

“Who are you talking about?” came the wavering reply.

“Don’t play innocent with me, Oscar,” I scoffed. “You know damn well who I am talking about. Steve is not at his house. His clothes are gone.”

“So? He decided to take a little vacation.”

“You know where he went, don’t you?”

“No I don’t,” he said with a hint of annoyance as he stood from his chair with his cup and made his way to the bar to fill it up with coffee.

“You stare me right in the eyes and tell me honestly you don’t.” I waited for Oscar to take up the challenge but he never did. “You’re lying. You know where he is.”

“What difference does that make?”

“I want to know where he went.”

“No,” he snapped before casually returning to his desk.

“No?” I shot back, offended. “What do you mean no?”

“Exactly that. No. He swore me to secrecy. He wants to be left alone.”

“He went to Ojai, didn’t he?” Oscar looked downcast; his silence speaking louder than words. “I see. Well it appears I’m still the bad guy here. So I’ll bow out gracefully and disappear for a few weeks myself. If you need me, don’t bother to call my apartment. I won’t be there.” On that waspish tone I swirled on my heels and stamped out the office, banging the door close behind me. I headed back to my apartment to pack my suitcases to fly off to Ojai where I suspected 34 had sought shelter from the raging mental storm.

I was totally oblivious of the bumpy flight to California. My mind was numbed to outside influences as it was caught in the chaotic whirlwind brewing within me. Never had I been so frightened to meet with Steve for so much had changed between us in a short period of time, and that alone made me fear his reaction when he’d discover that I pursued him clear across the country. Would he indulge my wish to say my peace or will he prefer giving me the cold shoulder? I endeavored to release the guilt solidly anchored in my soul as I was as much an innocent victim as Steve was. Life circumstances had dealt us a hand and it was up to us to either play it or discard it.

At the airport I took a taxi up to the Elgin farm. Rolling along the driveway up to the house I cast a look out the window hoping to catch a peek at Steve working or riding in the field. It dawned on me that Steve might have chosen a different destination, knowing that it’d be the first place I check. After stepping out of the cab and paying the driver I edged up to the front door with a heart pounding hard against my chest. A few cleansing breaths later, I rapped on the door. When no answer came I knocked again and again. I peered through the window and squinted to make out anyone inside. A loud thud caught my attention. Then another. I followed the sound all the way to the barn where I saw Jim working at mending a stall.

I opened my mouth to speak but no sound would come out. That’s when I realized I had underestimated the gravity of this situation and that I was far more distressed than I originally thought.

Thankfully Jim broke the ice and spoke first. “Cassandra!” he gushed, much to my relief. He dropped the hammer and with outstretched arms invited me into his bear hug. “It’s good to see, girl.”

“Wow! I admit I never anticipated such an enthusiastic welcome.”

“Why not? It’s always a pleasure to have you at the farm.”

“It’s good to know that there are still people out there who don’t resent me.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked with a furrowed brow.

“Is Steve around by any chance?”

“Yes. He rode out about twenty minutes ago.”

“Didn’t he tell you why he came here?”

Jim shifted his weight uncomfortably at my question. “Yes he did,” he sighed heavily. “But don’t think he won’t be happy to see you.”

“I hope you’re right”

“You’re coming all the way to Ojai to see him can only mean that…” his voice faltered at the expression of doom on my face. “Oh no.”

“I need to see him.”

“He said he was going to ride to his favourite place.”

“Up by the lake?” I assumed with a wistful smile. Jim nodded. “Mind if I borrow a horse?”

“No. You can take Champion here,” he suggested, pointing to the sorrel by the broken stall. “He’s very gentle. In fact he’s…never mind.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Cassie all I ask is that you go easy on Steve. He’s pretty shaken up by what’s happened.”

“Well that makes two of us. But I promise I’ll be gentle. He’s my best friend in the world. I don’t aim to jeopardize our friendship.”

“Good girl.” Jim laid a grateful hand on my arm and leaned in to brush a kiss on my cheek that heightened the love I felt for this great man.

I trotted toward my destination and once I spotted my victim having a lounge on the grass by the riverbank I dismounted and tethered Champion to a tree branch. I silently edged up to Steve from behind and came to stand by him. “Is this seat taken?”

Steve’s head shot up and his eyes widened in surprise. “Cassie! What are you doing here?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Go ahead,” he invited dispassionately with a nod of the head.

I bent my knees and sat by him on the grass. A disturbing silence fell between us as we both gazed at the ducks gliding on the surface of the water. “It is beautiful out here. Very peaceful,” I observed with a hint of melancholia. I glanced at Steve whose eyes were closed tightly, no doubt to prevent tears from pearling down his cheeks. How I agonized over his mental anguish that I was part responsible for. I felt a guilt rose within me; one I strove to quell many moons ago but in vain. “I spoke to Jeremy the other day. He’s excited about his new pony. He wants me to come and visit him. I thought of going sometime in December so I can bring him his Christmas present.”

“That’s nice,” he replied stoically without unfastening his eyes from the myriad of ducks.

A few seconds glided by before we chorused, “I’m sorry,” That brought us to lock stares and break into a chuckle.

“I acted childishly,” Steve repented.

“Yes you did,” I scolded amicably. “What you did, how you acted and the way you treated me hurt worse than anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. I dreaded losing your friendship and that prospect alone sent me into an emotional turmoil, which is alien to my character. I’m usually in control of my emotions.”

Steve closed his eyes as the woe of the world suddenly fell upon his shoulders. “I was just…surprised when you announced your engagement to Richard Hayden. Like I said before I never thought you would hit it off so well, much less expect you to marry him. I admit there was a whiff of jealousy, one I tried desperately to stifle but that didn’t work. My mind was telling me one thing but my heart would say otherwise.” He inhaled a deep breath that he let out in a long-winded sigh. “I respect your choice, 35. And you don’t have to worry about our friendship. I might have shaken its foundation a little but it’s still solid.”

“Richard’s gone,” I informed bluntly without flinching.

Steve stared at me in bewilderment. “What?”

“He’s gone. I sent him packing so to speak.”

“Why?”

“Let’s just say I discovered what kind of man he really was and that 35 does not tolerate this kind of attitude.”

“What did he do?” Steve asked with a voice laced with concern rather than curiosity.

“That’s not important. I have my friend Jeremy to thank for opening my eyes. Kids sense things that we adults don’t or that we refuse to see. He likes you and hates Richard.” Following an uncomfortable lull in the conversation I decided to take the plunge and asked, “Did you mean it when you asked me to marry you?”

The question triggered an inaudible gasp followed by a huge swallow. With a heart pounding down his throat he turned to me with a lovelorn look and quavered with expectation, “I did.”

“Then would you kiss me again?”

Flashing a lopsided grin Steve obliged and leaned in to delicately brush his lips against mine. The teasing kiss grew into a deep lingering embrace that neither one wished to dissolve. Finally Steve pulled back and gazed tenderly into my eyes.

“Yep,” I breathed out in a complete daze. “I could get used to this.”

“Does that mean…?”

I cracked an amused smile at his glaring question. “If you’re sure you can handle me.”

“I’ve had three long years of practice,” he winked with an impish look on his face as he leaned in to claim my lips once more. As the sensual kiss grew deeper he enlaced me in his arms and gently laid me on the grass. At some point we lost our balance and we started rolling down the small hill.

“Steve!” I chided, pushing him off me. “Not here. Somebody might see us.”

Steve craned his neck up and surveyed the surroundings. “Who’s going to see us? We’re alone.”

“You never know who might be watching.”

“Let them! I’m so excited I feel like shouting the news on roof tops. If my happiness can be contagious so be it.”

“I didn’t know I had that effect on you.”

“You do,” he softly sighed as he ran a loving hand through my hair. “More than you know Brown-Eyed Girl.” As our lips met for the third time my body broke into shivers of pure delight. I knew then beyond the shadow of doubt that I was destined to become his partner for life.