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- Americans know as much about Canada as straight people do about gays. Americans arrive at the border with skis in July, and straight people think that being gay is just a phase. A very long phase
- Ma Cheri...oh, she'll hate that. She hates when I write in french. I usually correspond in fag, but it's incredible how often they're the same thing, n'est-ce pas
- And while you're at it do something about your hair it's threatening to become more interesting than you.
- All of a sudden that strange new army of penises, which moments before had seemed so innocent, now appeared to me as poisoned tipped sabres aimed at my heart.
- Elizabeth Taylor was our one millionth customer for God's sake. Oh, who am I trying to kid? Elizabeth Taylor never came here. The biggest Taylor we ever had was Rip.
- All I had with me was 37 cents and a *big* diamond ring worth about two million dollars. I figured that would keep me going for about a month.
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