Big Night
Disclaimer: Don't own our at the moment not-so-happy little Creek gang.
Author's Note: I would like to make a HUGE apology to everyone who's been waiting for this. I really had made such a big cliffhanger after Analyze This because I was intending to get the next part up after a week, not 6 months! I know how annoying it is to wait and wait for a story that you've really wanted to know what happens next in, and I can't apologize enough for making you wait so long. You may notice some differences in my style, it's been a long 6 months. I hope you like this part, it's more risque then the others. That's right... R rating.
Summary: There's a summary for Interrupted Melody in Analyze This. Go back and read it if necessary. Analyze This began with an informative game of truth or dare. Jen has broken up with Cliff, Pacey and Julie are messing around, and Dawson still loves Joey. When confronted with the question of how far Joey has gone with Anderson, she runs out only to later reveal to Dawson that they have gone all the way.
Rating: For the first time! One of my pieces of writing gets a big, definite rated R. No doubt about it, very sexual and adult situations. By TV standards, it would be a TVMA S. Kiddies, you have been warned.
Big Night
Dawson looked at Joey, dumbfounded. “You had sex with Anderson?” he managed to stutter out without realizing the voice was now his own. Joey nodded sadly. Dawson grimaced in pain. "That's not how I planned it, Jo," he whispered. "You were supposed to lose your virginity to me. And me to you," Dawson raised his voice.
"Well I'm sorry your script's other main character had a change of plans. You don't have to yell at me, Dawson. I understand the ramifications of what I did."
"How did it happen, Joey? How could you let it happen?" Dawson continued yelling at her.
"We were making out, we rounded third, and I just couldn't stop. He offered to, but I said it was okay. I wanted more. He is my boyfriend after all," Joey lamented.
"Do you realize what you did?" Dawson was still yelling. "Do you know how important it is?"
"I know, Dawson, it-- it wasn't in my original script, either. Stop yelling at me. This isn't... it's not something I want to regret for the rest of my life," Joey's voice broke. "It's not something I should regret at all."
"You're too young, Joey. Did you at least--" Dawson stopped when he realized she was crying. Joey had turned away from him, but he could still see the tears of regret spilling down her cheeks reflected in the window. He walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders.
"I'm sorry, Dawson," she murmured. "You have no idea how sorry I am." She faced him and buried her head in his shoulder. She started to sob and couldn't make herself stop.
"You're right, Joey," Dawson sighed. "Don't be sorry, you shouldn't regret it."
"I haven't talked to Anderson since," Joey sniffled.
"You should," Dawson said, draping himself around her. "This isn't fair to him."
"We can stop talking about this if it makes you uncomfortable," Joey reminded Dawson.
"No, it's okay," Dawson said honestly. "I'm sure you need someone to talk to about this. I'm here to listen." Joey laughed.
"I just need someone to talk to? That's a huge understatement. It's just... too much new experience. It's been a little hard to process."
"Tell me about it," Dawson suddenly whispered to Joey's surprise. "Not about the actual sex, but maybe about the rest. How did it feel?"
"Are you sure you want to know? I mean, of course you want to find out, but do you want this circumstance as a prerequisite?" Joey's sobs were slowing as she stifled another.
"Yes. How did it feel?" Joey was quiet for a moment and closed her eyes.
"It was-- amazing. I was really-- I'm going to be blunt, okay, Dawson? Just the prescience of his tongue in my mouth excited me. He was fumbling with my bra clasp, even though he's much better at it now then the first time he tried it..."
"Joey," Dawson interrupted, "too much detail. I mean, more than I can take."
"Oh," Joey replied, sounding hurt. "It's just that you said I could tell you anything."
"I was trying to be a good friend, but maybe we should hold off on it a little longer."
Joey was quiet and her gaze shifted to out the window. Tears began spilling down her cheeks again, but there were no sounds to accompany them. She tensed in Dawson's arms. "I'm sorry, Dawson," she said again after the long silence.
"Don't apologize anymore," Dawson said. "You can't help what you felt and did now. It's too late."
"Ah, good, you're being rational again," Joey tried to smile, "but that's not what I was asking you to forgive me for. I know you love me, it's no secret. Even though you never say it, I can tell. I can see it from your actions. I'm sorry I've made you try to be my best friend when you want so much more. I'm sorry I've made you stand to the side and be happy for me as I start to fall for someone else. I've been put in that position myself and I've never forgotten what it feels like. So I'm not going to make you do it anymore, Dawson. We're going to take a break. You and me. No calling, no stopping by, no regressing. A short break, but I can't stand how broken I know I'm making you feel and this is the only way I know how to stop it."
"Not be friends?" Dawson asked, panicked. "No, that's dumb and it would kill me besides. I can take Anderson, really I can. Now you're the one being irrational!"
"No, I'm not. I'm trying to fix this, Dawson. Having this much guilt for one of the most important things in my life is definitely a sign that something is wrong."
"You are being irrational," Dawson said coldly, casting her out of his arms. "You keep us apart to save our friendship and then you don't even want it anymore. I've tried to be a good friend to you, Joey Potter, and all you've done is hurt me over and over these past few months. Now you want to take away the last thing I have that you've given me that still makes me happy to make things better? You're wrong. You don't know what I want. I don't even think you know what you want."
"The hell I don't!" Joey yelled and pushed her lips onto his. She felt a wave of arousal pass through her body as she aggressively shoved her tongue into his mouth and thrust her waist against his. Within a few minutes she was unbuttoning his pants, eager to quench her passion before it consumed her.
"Jo-- Joey!" Dawson said, pushing her away and buttoning his pants back up. "What are you doing?" Joey glared at him.
"I finally act on what I've been denying us both and you push me away? I finally get it. I ran to Anderson because I was afraid of YOU. Isn't that ridiculous? I was afraid of us. I am afraid to lose our friendship, but it's too late. Things aren't even remotely the same between us. So what am I doing then? I want you. If I can take a risk and sleep with Anderson and have it turn out so incredible, I can love you and let you love me and it will be even better."
"You're so vulnerable, Jo. You don't know what you're doing. This sex thing was too much for you and now you don't know what you want."
"Stop trying to be rational, Dawson! Stop trying to be noble and the savior and just act. You've done it before and admit it. It sets you free. This is what I want, right here, right now, right at this moment. I want to love you. I want to make love to you. I want to fix everything I've messed up since I made you love me and then kept hurting you. I want you now."
Dawson looked at the unfamiliar fire in Joey's eyes and did not know what to say. He kept searching for something in her face... he saw passion, desire, confusion... and behind all of that he still could see the shy, loving look he couldn't place that night at the dance. It was wrong, he knew it was, but he let himself fall into her, and as he felt his body rise to match Joey's heat, he couldn't stop. He couldn't go back. She attacked him with her lips, impatiently ripped off his shirt. All the months of waiting, of never exploring each other in the first place, just came out in an intense explosion of love and lust. Dawson kissed Joey back onto the bed and pulled up her shirt with his teeth. He completely dismissed the part of his conscience telling him to stop and threw her bra on the floor. He sucked greedily on her breasts before moving up to her neck. As he licked her and slowly left a mark, he began involuntarily grinding his hips against hers.
She felt her breathes get heavier as she closed her eyes slightly and let Dawson tease her neck. She already knew she would be in need of a turtleneck in the morning. She also knew, somewhere in the back of her head, that she was going to be sleeping in her own bed tonight. She grinded her hips in time with Dawson's, but was getting annoyed at the feeling she knew her jeans were stealing away from her. She moved Dawson's face to hers and then leaned down to unbutton his jeans again. He eagerly shook them off, revealing boxers that were very constricting and a little spotted. He unzipped hers and she kicked them off, wanting to feel his body rocking against hers again. He places his boxers against her and began to move back and forth against her inner thigh.
Joey writhed on the bed in pleasure, but wanted more then just dry humping him. "Stop a second," Joey insisted breathlessly. He did and let her roll him onto his back. "Do you have a condom?"
"In the drawer," Dawson said weakly, his pupils dilated.
"Okay, just checking," Joey said before sliding his boxers down.
"Jo, what are you..." Dawson trailed off as Joey took him into her mouth with slow, solid stroked of her tongue. Dawson couldn't hold his ecstasy for more then a couple of minutes and came shooting into her mouth. She swallowed the sour liquid and leaned over to open the table drawer and find the condoms. Dawson lay there, catching his breath and regaining control. Joey pulled out the package and innocently looked at him, still excited to no end since she had not yet had her tension relieved. Dawson's eyes widened as she teasingly opened the package and prepared to coax him back up to put on the condom.
"Oh my God, Jo, what are we doing? Stop. I can't take advantage of you like this!" Joey stopped and looked incredibly hurt.
"I'm offering myself to you. I love you. I want you to be happy. Now either take me and give our relationship a chance or reject me and lose me."
"That's a viscous ultimatum, Jo. What's with you?"
"Decide, Dawson. Are you willing to reject sex and lose me because you want to be Dawson the good?"
"Joey, I love you, I want you more then anything, but this isn't you. What's wrong?"
"Stop stalling, Dawson," Joey said, holding the unwrapped condom. "Make your choice."
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Feedback please? This part didn't go where I had intended it to, so please tell me what you thought.