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Always
and forever
*~* Dawn
POV Dear
Journal, I’m
all alone. When
I found out I wasn’t real. I
thought it couldn’t get any worse than this.
To find out you’re not real, you were created.
I always thought I was a normal kid.
I have memories. I
have feelings. But
they’re not real. Buffy
and mum showed me I was real. They
showed me they loved me and they showed me I was part of their family. When
Mum died I thought to myself, this is it.
It can’t get any worse than this.
But Buffy was there to help me through it. She was cold to start with because she was trying so hard to
be strong but then she crumbled. We
talked for hours; we needed each other to be there.
And we were. I
thought it couldn’t get any worse. But
it could. Last
night my sister saved my life. I
was kidnapped by Glory. She
wanted to use me like a key to open a hellmouth.
Buffy took care of her but a creepy demon named Doc attacked me.
Spike tried to save me but it was too late.
Doc cut me and the hellmouth opened. Buffy
defeated Glory and came for me. She
saw the hellmouth thing. We
both know the only way to stop it was my blood.
Then she realizes I had been made from her blood.
She jumped in; she died so I could live. I
love Buffy. And as I stand
by her grave writing this all I can think about is how I’m alone. I’m
all alone.
Willow
POV She’s
gone. I can’t believe it.
Buffy’s gone. I thought writing it down seeing in black and white, would
make it real make me realize she’s really gone.
But I can’t believe it. I
just keep thinking about all the time we spent together. I can remember her first day at high school.
I can remember our first conversation word by word. I
was unpacking my healthy lunch when she walked over. I’d seen her around but with Cordelia. “Uh,
hi.” Buffy said.
“Willow, right?” “Why?”
I asked. I was
nervous she was going to be mean. “I
mean Hi. Did you want me to
move?” “Why
don’t we start with ‘hi. I’m Buffy’
And then lets segue directly into me asking you for a favor.
It doesn’t involve moving, but it does involve you hanging out
with me for a while.” “But
aren’t you . . . hanging with Cordelia?” “I
can’t do both?” “Not
legally.” “Look,
I really want to get by here. New
school . . . Cordelia’s been really nice - - to me, anyway - - but I
have this burning desire not to flunk all my classes, and I heard a
rumor that you were the person to talk to if I wanted to get caught
up.” “Oh,
I could totally help you out! If
you have sixth period free we could meet in the library –“ “—Or
not. Or, you know, we could
meet somewhere quieter. Louder.
That place kinda gives the Wiggins.” “It
has that effect on most kids. I
love it though. It’s a
great collection, and the librarian’s really cool. “He’s
new?” “Yeah,
he just started. He was a
curator of some British museum or was it the British Museum, I’m not
sure . . . But he knows everything and he brought all these historical
volumes and biographies and am I the single dullest person alive?” “Not
at all!” Who
would of thought I boring nerdy Willow would become friends with such a
cool girl. And that she was
the Slayer and the librarian Giles was her watcher.
It’s strange when I look back to our sophomore year.
We all seem so young. I
remember being totally in love with Xander and I was such a geek!
But I was happy. I
remember by our junior year we were getting used to fighting vampires,
witches, she-mantis and anything else the Hellmouth threw at us.
It was the year Spike and Dru hit town, the year I found love
with a musician, the year Jenny was killed, the year Angel turned bad
and the year Buffy ran off. The
next year was our senior year. Buffy
came back, Angel was good again and Xander and I stole a kiss.
Who would have known Oz and Cordelia would walk in and find us.
I nearly lost Oz over that and Cordelia never kissed Xander in a
closet again. That was the
year we defeated the mayor, nearly got killed by Faith and just grew up. Then
last year Buffy met Riley, I lost Oz but got Tara, Xander found Anya and
even Giles found comfort with Olivia.
We found out about the initiative, Adam and grew apart. Then
this year, we really found each other.
Dawn was created from the Key to be Buffy’s sister.
Buffy and Giles really trained together.
Buffy spent a lot of time with the Scooby Gang.
But her mum died. It
was so hard on Buffy. Although
Joyce had a tumor nobody realized how she could die.
Last
night Glory kidnapped Dawn and some demon cut her up so her blood would
open a portal. The rest of
the Scooby Gang and I tried as hard as possible to stop it but it was
too late. Buffy gave up her
life so Dawn could survive. So
the world could go on turning. But
it doesn’t. It feels like
the world’s stopped turning. Like
the Earth’s flat and doesn’t orbit the sun.
Like everything’s wrong. It
is. I’m
in LA right now. I came to
tell Angel what happened. But
he’s not here. It feels
strange that he isn’t here. I
always thought they were joined, that they had a bond.
I feel like he should know what’s happened.
Maybe he does maybe he’s in Sunnydale right now. I
don’t know. I
wish Buffy were here.
Xander
POV I
loved her. From
the first day I met her till last night.
She was beautiful; her lovely blonde hair, which fell in waves,
her clear eyes, her cute little half-smile, all of her. I loved her and now she’s gone. I
can’t understand it. Why?
Why her? Why not
some one bad? Buffy was
wonderful. She was the
Slayer. But she was also my
friend. She wasn’t the
nicest person in the world, or the smartest or even the prettiest.
But she had something. Something
that made her shine a bit brighter than the others. I’m
sat here now in the graveyard. I’m
leaning against a tree, the stars shining over me.
I wonder if Buffy’s a star.
I always you used to think when someone died they became a star.
Maybe that’s true. Maybe Buffy’s up there with Jenny and Larry and Snyder.
Or maybe there’s a special area for special people like Mother
Teresa and Martin Luther King and Princess Diana. Perhaps there’s a
slayer section and Buffy’s up there now with Kendra and all those
other girls. All those
girls who died saving the world. I
like that idea. I like the
idea of Buffy keeping an eye on us still.
It cheers me up somehow. |
