Ó Starbright 1999

Chapter 9

It was late, real late, and two desolate riders sat on the porch and stared out into the dark. Both perking their ears at the slightest sound. One of the riders kept fidgeting with his gun holster, drumming his fingernails against it, constantly checking that his guns where rightly adjusted, his stance speaking of an increasing anger and perturbation. The other sat silently, only occasionally drawing at his fingers till the joints made a cracking sound. Then he crossed his arms over his chest and bit at his lip nervously, only to shift again and sit completely silent. Ready to react at the slightest sound, his face speaking of despair. Both jumped at the sound of the door opening. A third rider stuck his head out.

"She probably just got delayed, and decided to sleep over, she'll be here first thing tomorrow. Get some sleep, Kid you've got a ride tomorrow." The rider received no response from the either of the two. Sighing he closed the door and shook his head at the riders sitting at the table in the dim light. "No use waiting any longer, I think we outta call it a night."

"I hope nothing's happened to her, the way they parted will have Kid carrying a burden for the rest of his life if something did. They we're everything but nice to each other yesterday."

"Jimmy'll probably kill him first, y'all know he'll blame him."

"I sure wish Cody was around right now, reckon he has a better relation to the Lord than I do. Sure wish he was here to say a prayer."

"Me too, if he would limit himself to that, his sermons are just too much. They might cause my gun to go off unexpectedly,"

"You think that was called for?"

"Sorry, it just slipped out!"

Lou hesitated before stepping out in sight from the shrubbery. She tucked the parcel under some twigs and covered it with the long grass, she wasn't confident enough to walk into the True Believers' sanctuary dressed as a boy, they must already be wondering about her short hair. Luckily enough she had come up with that lie about the illness in a flash of insight. Safer to be Cody's cousin, just in case. Decisively she shook her head, what was she thinking about, these were good people and they had asked her to stay, what could possibly happen to her? She was at the beginning of a new life and she would make the best of it. Straightening out her pink dress, the only dress she had owned in years, she started walking the road to the homestead. The sun was setting but she had plenty of time to get there before it was dark. Tomorrow everything would be different. "It's gonna be fine, you're gonna have a new friend too Lightning, a real nice bay mare. You'll like her." Lightning pushed Lou gently with her soft muzzle, searching her hands for goodies. "You really don't care where you're at do you? As long as somebody keeps feedin' you." Lou smiled at the horse, at least she'd still have Lightning. "Everything will be just fine girl." Lou promised the horse. She didn't dare ride the horse and cause suspicions, instead she walked the horse to the house. As it towered up in front of her she swallowed hard. A girl on the stairs waved at her and smiled. May had recognized the arriving girl. Lou smiled and picked up speed. May ran to meet her, at the girl's welcoming face Lou broke down and cried.

"Louise, what happened?" May asked and hugged the girl, "Esther, go get pastor Allen, Louise needs help!"

"They wanted me to marry a man, but he was a cruel man, a man that hit me!" Lou sobbed. She cried because lies bubbled out of her like they were nothing, like nothing was sacred anymore. Nobody forced her to marry anybody, Kid had only asked. And she was the one doing the hitting, not him. She was so ashamed of herself and her lies that she cried even harder.

"Shhh," May mumbled soothingly, "nobody will hit you here, you're safe with us. We will take care of you!"

"Cody can't see me here, he don't now I ran away, maybe he will tell the K...man if he sees me here, don't let him find out." Lou cried into her hands. What am I doing? Why am I telling all these lies? What's happening to me?

"Come with me Louise, Elise will take care of the horse, just follow me."

It was dark when Louise finally lifted her face from her hands and started walking the last few steps to the house, May at her side, steadying her stumbling walk. Lou felt like she was bidding good-bye to another lifetime and entering the unknown. A dim light on the porch was the only thing Lou saw because of her running tears.

Rachel cursed when she found the two riders sleeping outside the bunkhouse in the cold morning air. She knew that Lou hadn't come home, Jimmy was lying with his feet across the path to the door and nobody would have come in or out of the bunkhouse without him noticing. As she walked up to them Kid raised his head and looked at her with fear in his eyes. "Something happened Rachel, I'm goin' out to look .."

"Now hold on, ain't this exactly what drives Lou crazy? 'Sides you got a run today, Cody'll get back at any instance and you'll be headin' out."

"I'll go look," Jimmy said while he rose, looking just about as rested as the Kid. "I'll go right now."

"None of you are goin' anywhere before you get some food into you, Lou might ride up while we eat and I can't vouch for your security if she finds out that you rode out to look for her. She has her pride boys."

"Too much I'd say," Kid muttered.

"Now hush! Jimmy, you'll start the coffee, you Kid set the table. And I don't wanna hear another word outta you."

The rest of the riders blinked at them from the door.

"Breakfast in ten minutes," Rachel informed them, "we're eating in the house, somebody bring Kid's gear if Cody rides in early. And Noah please, would you saddle Katy? These two youngsters need a scolding!"

Taking a firm grip on the young men's elbows she steered them into the house, better keep them both under surveillance, chances were they'd do something stupid if she didn't.

Jimmy returned to the waystation with a stern look on his face. He had been looking for Lou all day, it disturbed him to return with so little knowledge about her whereabouts. Ike and Buck shared a glance while Noah walked up to him, "No signs of her?"

With a sigh Jimmy slid off Sundancer, "she made it all the way back to the old O'Shaunassey place, then she disappeared."

"Disappeared?" Buck inquired. "What ya mean disappeared?"

"She quit!" Jimmy spat out, kicking at some rocks at his feet. "Somebody made her quit ridin' with us!"

"Jimmy," Buck warned, knowing exactly who he was referring too. "What you find out?"

"Took Lightning and rode off, left the poach for Sweetwater there, told the station manager to give it to the next rider heading for Sweetwater."

Kid will be passing there late tomorrow, Ike signed, when he finds out I wouldn't want to be anywhere near.

"Where would she go? Why this haste? Didn't she tell anybody anything?" Noah intervened.

"Didn't you track her?" Buck wanted to know.

She can't have gotten that far, Ike signed, what if we all ride out after her and...

"She wanted this," Jimmy stated, "it ain't that I like it but who are we to stop her? It's her life and her decision. I only wished she would have told, at least the Kid coz' I sure ain't looking forward to telling him."

The four of them stared at each other for a moment, picturing Kid's reaction when he found out. Ike shrugged at the thought. Buck threw him a glance. "It's her decision."

Ike nodded in agreement and diverted his eyes to the plains, staring sadly out into nothing.

Noah took Sundancer's reins and started for the barn, head downcast he abided to do what Jimmy said, let Lou go.

"We'll tell Rachel," Buck sighed and tapped Jimmy's shoulder, "you prepare yourself to tell the Kid."

With an inwardly groan Jimmy turned to get into the bunkhouse, telling Kid was one thing he didn't look forward to. But then again, the way the two had been acting, maybe he wouldn't take it so bad? Jimmy had to smile at himself, who was he kidding, Kid would get frantic and he'd probably have to tie him down to stop him from riding out looking for her. Just like he had done himself and with the same result, the girl had vanished, they had to get used to ride without Lou. Jimmy gritted his teeth at the notion. If he would have know this that morning she rode out, he would have acted differently. Why didn't she tell him if she was hurting? He would have done anything, didn't Lou know that? Why leave like this? Like something was haunting her?

Cody was snoring on his bunk. Jimmy felt compelled to do the same. Hanging his gun belt over the bedpole he threw himself onto the bunk. Coming to think of it, he realized it had been a while since he slept a good night's sleep. Straightening the pillow to fit his head he felt paper brush against his hand. Irritated he thought Cody had forgotten some of his half-written stories under his pillow. He muttered when he gripped the paper to read it. If Cody had made up another of his cockamamie stories about them Jimmy would wring his neck. What hit his eyes was Lou's handwriting. Jimmy rose into a sitting position so fast he slammed his head into the bunk above. Folding out the paper, he started reading;

That was all the note said, it looked like it had been written in a great hurry. The last part made it seem like she had been forced to end the note quickly. The last words had been scrambled over to make them illegible. Jimmy kept rereading the part about Kid and the barn. The more he read it, the angrier he got. What had the fool said to her? He rose from the bunk and walked out, he and Kid definitely needed to have a chat. He shoved his fist into his pockets and turned to do his chores. Muttering to himself the words he intended to tell the Kid as he rode in.

Lou sighed contented where she laid in a bed with clean sheets. She had been given a place to sleep in a small room aside the washing room, it was dark and tiny but there was a welcoming bed with fresh linen. Lindsay already snored in the other bed. Burying her nose into the pillow she inhaled the scent of cleanliness and sighed. She had made the right decision. Pastor Allen and the girls had been so nice to her, comforting her and assuring her nobody would find out where she was at. They had taken Lightning to a pasture far away from the house.

Nobody would find her horse there, she knew that. She would not be found. Pastor Allen promised her she could stay inside and hide until things settled down. Louise blushed as she thought about the lies she had perpetuated. They had just kind of slid out of her. Feeling she had to continue her story from the other night she painted the man she was about to allegedly marry out to be the devil himself. She wondered if Jimmy had found her note yet and if he had done what she asked him and not told the Kid. Even if he had told him, Kid would probably be glad she was gone. She remembered vividly the look in his eyes when he laid bent double on the ground, gulping for air after her assault. She had hurt him, she knew that. What had possessed her? She remembered him holding Lightning's reins before she rode out. He looked at her like he used to before, like he wanted to say something sweet to her.

Lou blinked the tears away. She had to remember him shouting at her in the barn, the words he had cast in her face. In front of Noah and all. He had called her cheap and easy and she would never forgive him for that. But his last 'Ride safe' kept haunting her.

"Louise it's over," she told herself, "he just used you, never forget that." She was trying to convince herself that that was the case. A voice in the back of her head asked her if she had used him too? To get over some dark memories? Louise shut the voice out by pulling the pillow over her head and making plans for tomorrow. Everything would be better tomorrow, it just had to be.