Chapter 28
McCoy
left the stone path that ran between two buildings and cut across the grass of
the small park. He quickly spotted Morgan and decided to take advantage of the
shade under the near-by trees to wait for her.
He
watched as she continued to run, her eyes never straying from the path in front
of her. It wasn’t until she was even with him and he called out to her that she
looked up, clearly startled, and left the path to head toward him.
Slowing
to a walk, she placed her hands on her hips as she approached him.
He took
down what he assumed was her water bottle from a low branch of one of the trees
and held it out for her. “You look like you could use this.”
As her
breathing slowed somewhat she noted, “Either I’m really slow today or you’re
early.” She reached for the bottle with one hand and took hold of his wrist
with the other. Turning his arm slightly she checked his watch as she gulped
down some water, then concluded, “You’re early.”
“Not by
much.”
“I
thought we were meeting at my place.”
“I was
hoping we could get started a little earlier.”
“I still
have four laps left to run.”
Reaching
out he ran a finger down her bare arm, watching as the sweat beaded up around
it. “Looks to me like you’ve already had enough of a workout. Can’t you just
call it even and leave now?”
“I
suppose I could,” she agreed slowly.
“Then
let’s go,” he suggested, trying not to sound as eager as he felt.
Morgan
shook her head. “I’m not going with you. I’m running home.”
He gave
her an exasperated look. “You promised you’d go with me, Calea, and I’m not
letting you back out.”
“I’m not
backing out. I’m just not going with you this minute. I’m drenched with sweat
and I smell like a goat. I’m going to take a shower and change clothes first.
Besides, since I agreed to skip the last few laps, the least you can do is let
me run the mile back to my place.”
He
considered a minute and then nodded reluctantly. “All right. I’ll meet you at
your place.”
Bending
down, she untied the laces of one shoe. When she stood up she handed him the
small elevator key. “You can wait for me inside since you’ll get there first.
I’ll call from the security desk and you can send the elevator down for me.”
“Hurry,”
he advised, pocketing the key. “I’ve been waiting all morning for this.”
***“Am I dressed okay?” she asked, coming to a
stop beside the barstool where McCoy was sitting.
Looking
her up and down he took note of her attire, which was very similar to his own:
jeans, hiking shoes, and long-sleeved tee-shirt. “Looks like it.”
“Do I
need to take anything besides a jacket?”
“Not
unless you want to bring a change of clothes. We could always find a little
place somewhere out of the way to spend the night.”
Giving
him a disapproving look she warned, “You’ll get me back home well before dark
or it’ll be the last time I go anywhere with you.”
With a
grin he replied, “Yes, ma’am.”
Walking
to the refrigerator she asked, “Would you like for me to take some water along
for you, too?”
“Sure,”
he agreed, sliding from the stool to place a glass in the dishwasher. “There’s
a little place along the way that makes great sandwiches and the best potato
salad you’ve ever tasted. I thought we would stop there and pick up something
to eat.”
“Sounds
good to me,” she acknowledged, pushing the call button for the elevator.
Once they
were on their way down, McCoy took his water bottle and her jacket from her.
“You won’t need this just yet. Once we get out of the city, though, you may.
It’ll be a lot cooler once we leave the concrete behind.”
She
followed him to the second elevator and then out to the parking garage.
Unlocking
the side compartment, he stashed her jacket and water and took out a helmet.
Handing it to her he advised, “Make sure the chin strap is snug but not too
tight.”
After
pinning her hair up, she put it on and did as he recommended.
“Ready?”
he questioned after securing his own.
Morgan
took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. “I can’t believe I let you
talk me into this. I must be losing my mind.”
He swung
a leg over the motorcycle, then looked over his shoulder to give her a broad
smile. “You’re gonna love it!”
***The skyscrapers and congested streets had
given way to rolling hills covered with trees. They had left the main highway
some time before and were cruising down a side road dappled with patches of
shade from overhanging tree branches. As they made another turn, McCoy leaned
into the corner just a little more than was necessary and smiled to himself as
he felt Morgan’s arms tighten around his torso in response. He had taken it
slow and easy to give her time to get used to riding but he was eager to have a
little fun with her and prove to her that she had nothing to fear.
As the
tree cover became more dense, he slowed to turn off onto a narrow dirt road.
The bike beneath them purred quietly as he eased it through the trees. After a
few minutes he pulled it onto the grass and stopped.
Morgan
unlocked her arms from around his ribs and climbed off. Unbuckling the helmet,
she pulled it off. “I was beginning to think we were going cross-country
instead of for a day trip.”
McCoy
took her helmet and put it in the side compartment. Indicating their
surroundings he asked, “So was it worth it?”
Surveying
the scene, she took a deep breath of the pine-scented air and let it out
slowly. “Definitely. It’s just beautiful.”
“I found
this place three or four years ago. I come here every now and then,” he
explained. “Even though it’s public land, I’ve never seen another soul here.
It’s probably just a little early-morning fishing hole for some of the locals.”
As she
unpinned her hair to let it cascade to her shoulders, she looked at him
curiously. “Fishing hole?”
After
first handing her two plastic bottles of tea, he took a blanket and the bag
containing their food from the opposite compartment and gave her a smile. “Come
on.”
He led
the way down a foot path carpeted with pine needles. After walking a few yards,
the sound of running water could be heard coming from somewhere ahead of them.
A short distance later they broke through the trees to stop on the bank of a
small, clear stream flowing over rocks.
“The
water is ice cold,” he told her. “You can take off your shoes and put your feet
in it if you want to cool off.”
After
first setting the drinks on a near-by boulder, Morgan made her way to the edge
of the water and bent to trail her fingers through it. “Mmm, feels great. I
might have to take you up on your suggestion later.” Standing up she turned
back to him. “Right now, though, I’m starving. The bowl of cereal I had for
breakfast was gone after about the third lap I ran this morning.”
“Well I
wouldn’t want you to faint from hunger or anything, so I’d better feed you,” he
said with a smile. Looking around them he asked, “Shade or sun?”
“It’s
nice and cool here. How about sun?”
“Sun it
is.” He walked a few feet and spread the blanket on the grass between trees
while Morgan retrieved the drinks. After they sat down McCoy passed her a
sandwich and small Styrofoam container. “Tell me what you think of the potato
salad.”
She
opened the container and sampled a bite, then nodded. “It’s pretty good.”
“Only
pretty good?” he asked incredulously. “I’d eat it every day if the place that
makes it weren’t so far from where I live. How can you say it’s only pretty
good?”
Morgan
shrugged. “I don’t really care for mustard in potato salad. I like it the way I
make it, which is the same way my Mom and her mom made it, with mayonnaise and
apple cider vinegar.”
“You know
how to make potato salad? Why haven’t I ever found any in your fridge?” he
demanded teasingly.
“The
recipe serves a lot so I don’t make it very often. But now that I know you’re a
potato salad fan, I’ll have to make it for you sometime.”
“Well,
it’s going to have to be fantastic to beat this,” he observed, taking another
bite of his own.
“I don’t
think you’ll be disappointed,” she smiled. Nodding she added, “My sandwich is
great. This was a good suggestion.”
“What,
specifically, was a good suggestion?” he queried pointedly. “The choice of
food, the setting, or the way we got here?”
She
contemplated for a moment before replying, “All of it, I guess.”
“Even the
ride here?” he prompted.
With a
smile she agreed, “Even the ride here.”
His
eyebrows arched in surprise. “So I was right? You did enjoy it?”
“All
except that last little corner you took,” she acknowledged. “I didn’t much care
for that.”
McCoy grinned.
“I was testing to see whether or not you had fallen asleep.”
“I don’t
see how there could’ve been any doubt. I’m surprised I didn’t crack at least
one of your ribs with as tightly as I was holding on.”
He
chuckled quietly. “There were a couple of times when I thought I might need
oxygen but I can’t say I really minded.” Giving her a hopeful look he asked,
“Since I’ve proven myself to be such a competent driver, does that mean you’ll
go with me again sometime?”
She
wrapped up the remaining half of her sandwich and laid back on the blanket,
stretching lazily in the sun. “I’ll answer that if and when you get me home in
one piece.”
He nodded
agreeably, his eyes twinkling. “In one piece, before dark. Got it.”
***“My favorite part of the day would have to be
the hike through the woods,” Morgan answered in response to McCoy’s query, scrunching the
pillow under her chin as she lay stretched out on her sofa.
He gave
her a wounded look. “Not the ride on my bike? I thought you said you enjoyed
it.”
“I did. But
it’s going to take me a while to get used to it. It was the first time I had
been on one since I was a kid, you know.”
“And did
I in any way dispel your fears?”
“How many
times do I have to tell you? I’m not afraid, just … cautious,” she contended.
“Cautious, huh? Is that why I could barely breathe for the first hour of
our ride?” he questioned teasingly.
“That’s
exactly why,” she insisted indignantly. “It pays to be careful. You never know
what can happen.”
Giving
her a smile he asked, “Can I take it that you’ll go with me again sometime?”
Returning
the smile she replied, “You did meet my conditions. I suppose it’s only
fair.”
“I’m
going to hold you to that,” he vowed. He checked his watch and then stood up.
As he made his way to the kitchen to put a glass in the dishwasher he said,
“Maybe we can take in a movie tomorrow afternoon and go out to dinner
afterwards.”
“All
right,” she agreed, sitting up and stretching. “Did you have a particular movie
in mind?”
After
retrieving his shoes he returned to sit on the sofa to put them on. “Not
really. We can check the paper tomorrow and see what’s playing.”
“There’s
always the place in the Village that features old movies if we can’t find
anything else,” she reminded him.
“True.”
He finished tying the laces and got up, holding his hand out for her. “Do you
want to just plan on going there?”
As she
allowed him to lead her to the elevator door she answered, “Let’s see what
else is playing first. Something might catch our eye.”
When he
reached the elevator, instead of pushing the call button, he leaned a shoulder
against the wall beside it, still holding Morgan’s hand. “I had fun today,
Calea. I’m glad you went with me.”
“I had a
great time, too, Jack. It was a perfect day. Thanks for asking me,” she replied
with a warm smile.
Something
about her smile and the way she was looking at him reassured him that the time
was right.
Looking
down into her eyes he asked quietly, “May I kiss you good-night?”
Morgan
blinked in surprise, then dropped her gaze to the floor between them. McCoy was
sure she was going to turn him down, but after a few seconds she replied
softly, “If you want to.”
He
reached out with his free hand to brush her hair back and stroke her cheek with
his thumb, wondering how she could possibly not know…
“I want
to,” he said simply.
As he
took a step closer and leaned toward her, she looked up at him somewhat
hesitantly, watching him cautiously until just before his lips touched hers,
when she closed her eyes.
Slipping his fingers into her hair, he barely brushed her lips with his,
keeping the kiss feather-light. After several seconds, he exerted the smallest
amount of pressure on them before breaking it off gently.
Her eyes were
still closed as he pulled back enough to see her face. When she slowly opened
them and they met his, they were filled with surprise.
Pleased
by her response, he rested his hand on her shoulder, entwining his fingers in
her soft hair. Smiling down at her he admitted, “I’ve wanted to do that for a
very long time.”
“Since
when?” she asked, giving him a doubtful look.
He grew
thoughtful for a moment, his eyes twinkling. “Do you remember the first time we
appeared together before Judge Rivera during Peter Fairchild’s case?” At her
nod he continued, “Well, after we left his office and were walking out
together, I said something and you turned to me and smiled. I thought it was
the most beautiful smile I had ever seen … and I wondered what it would be like
to kiss you.”
Morgan’s
eyes widened. “We had only met for the first time the evening before! You
didn’t even know me!”
His dark
eyes grew intense and his smile faded slightly. “I know you now. And I still
feel precisely the same way.”
Sliding his
hand to the back of her neck, he leaned forward and kissed her again, this time
with slightly more force. Morgan’s response was hesitant but it was all the
encouragement he needed. While he slowly explored her lips, he carefully moved
her arm behind her with the hand that still held hers, bending it until it
rested against the small of her back so that he could pull her closer to him
without letting go of her hand.
As the
kiss deepened, he became lost in the scent of her hair, the warmth of her skin,
the softness of her lips. When he felt her free hand move up to rest
tentatively against his chest, his arm behind her gradually tightened, drawing
her into him. But after a moment he became aware of the unmistakable pressure
of her hand pushing slightly against his chest. With a great deal of
reluctance, he ended the kiss.
Keeping
her wrapped in his arms, he rested his cheek against her hair. She was looking
down, with her forehead lightly touching his chest. He was so caught up in the
moment it was several seconds before he realized that she was trembling.
He
frowned and let go of her hand. Placing both of his hands on her shoulders, he
gently pushed her back from him until he could see her face. “Hey. Are you
okay?” he asked with concern.
Morgan
nodded without looking up at him. “I’m fine.”
“Then why
are you shaking?” he asked softly. When she didn’t answer, he placed a hand
under her chin and carefully raised her head until she was looking at him.
“Don’t shut me out, Calea. I know something is wrong. Tell me what it is. I
need to know.”
Under his
intense scrutiny, she took a half-step back. Chewing her lip, she regarded him
silently for a moment before replying, “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”
“What do
you mean?”
With a
shrug she explained haltingly, “You and I have become good friends … maybe we
should leave well enough alone.”
McCoy
smiled and shook his head. “I hate to tell you this, but that kiss went well
beyond simple friendship.”
“But
maybe we shouldn’t,” she insisted, her expression remaining serious. “I don’t
want to do anything to jeopardize the relationship we have. I don’t want to see
that change.”
Reaching
to smooth her hair he assured her, “Nothing is going to jeopardize what we
have.” Moving closer to her again, he rested his hands at her waist and
explained gently, “I already know I have feelings for you. And I think that
kiss proved, maybe to both of us, that you have feelings for me. You don’t have
to be afraid of those feelings. I know you’re scared to get close to someone
again but with all the time we’ve spent together recently, you should know by
now that I would never hurt you in any way. I think you know you can trust me.”
“I do,”
she agreed. “But I told you before I don’t want to see either of us hurt, Jack. I don’t want you to read more into this
than there really is. I think we should keep things between us the way they
have been and simply remain friends.”
McCoy
studied her carefully, taking note of the apprehension he saw in her eyes and
the tension he felt in her body, an abrupt change from how she had at first
responded to him as he kissed her. After debating with himself for several
seconds, he reached past her to push the button beside the elevator.
“When I
said I already knew I had feelings for you, I meant that I already knew I was
in love with you, Calea,” he explained quietly. As her look turned into one of
shock he added, “The question now is whether you could ever feel the same for
me.”
When the
elevator door opened, he placed a light kiss on her forehead. “Good-night.
Sweet dreams,” he said softly before stepping inside.
Morgan
stared at him in stunned silence as the door thumped to a close between them.
***The initial feeling of relief and odd sense of
calm that he had felt upon revealing his feelings to Morgan, and to himself,
had begun to fade. Although the thought had crossed his mind, he hadn’t been
absolutely sure of his feelings himself until the moment she had told him she
wanted to remain only friends. Telling her how he felt had seemed like the
right thing to do at the time, in order to reassure her of just how much he
cared. But the closer he got to home, the more he questioned the decision he
had made. By the time he reached his apartment he was convinced he had made a
mistake in telling her so soon and so abruptly, without thinking it through
first. He had promised not to push her into something she wasn’t ready for, to
allow her to set the pace. He was sure his revelation was going to make her
feel as though he was doing just the opposite.
Once
inside his apartment, he dropped the blanket and motorcycle helmets onto the
sofa and headed to the kitchen to pour himself a drink, hoping it would help
him relax enough to sleep. He toyed with the idea of calling Morgan but decided
against it since he had no idea what to say to her at that point. Taking the
drink with him, he made his way toward the bedroom. The blinking red light on
the answering machine caught his eye as he passed the desk and he stopped to
touch the “play” button.
He
waited as the automated voice informed him that he had missed two calls. As the
machine played the first recorded message from a colleague asking if he could
sit in on a particularly sticky plea agreement meeting first thing Tuesday morning,
he slumped into a chair and sipped his drink. But upon recognizing the voice of
the second caller, he sat up straight and listened intently.
“Jack,
I’m calling when I know you haven’t had time to get home because I don’t know
if I could say this to you otherwise. … I’m going to go to Peter and Leslie’s
tomorrow and spend a couple of days with them. I need some time to sort things
out. I know this isn’t fair to you but I’m asking you to give me some time
alone. I don’t think we should see each other for a while, until I can think
things through. When I feel like I’m ready to talk, I’ll let you know. I’m
sorry to be this way but I … I just need some time. I hope you’ll
understand.”
McCoy let
his head fall against the back of the chair with a muffled thump. He had been
right – it was too much too soon. She wasn’t simply pulling away, she was
running…
“And
about your question…” the voice from the machine interrupted softly. “I’m going
to think about it.” After another pause she added, “Good-night, Jack.”
He stared
at the machine as it beeped shrilly, signaling the completion of all messages.
It wasn’t so much the words she had said. It was what he thought he heard in
her voice as she said them.
He
punched the replay button and listened again, leaning toward the machine so as
not to miss a word. And when the message reached the end, he was sure he heard
the same thing as before: a distinct note of hopefulness in her voice.
Snatching
up the phone, he quickly dialed Morgan’s number. But before it began to ring
he slowly replaced the receiver and let out a sigh. She had asked him to give
her time, to not contact her. Whatever his own feelings, he knew the right
thing to do was respect her request.
Picking
up his Scotch, he took another drink, then pushed the replay button on the
answering machine once again.