Spooked

By Mz. Sporty Thang

It’s good ol’ October 31st and McCall comes into the precinct dressed in black pants and an orange sweater. She is greeted by Hunter.
"Hi ya’, McCall. Happy Halloween. What’s shakin’?"
McCall responds in a surly manner, "Don’t f-----ing talk to me. You wanna know what’s shaking? What kind of question is that? It’s a dumb question, that’s what it is!"
Hunter, confused by his partner’s attitude, responds, " O...kay....yeah, um, well, is there a problem McCall? This is totally not like you. You never use such language. What.....do you have some kind of Halloween attitude?"
"Yeah I’ve gotta *^*(%$^*&#^$*%( attitude, do you have &*%*$^($*%^*&^& problem with my *&(*&%(($^(^(*& attitude? "
Hunter retreating from McCall in fear, is like, "Uh...no....oh I love your Halloween attitude. It is really pleasant, "states Hunter in a sarcastic tone.
Devane walks over to McCall’s desk. "McCall do you have a copy of the arrest report from the arrest made last week?"
McCall responds, "Look, motherf-----er, I don’t have no d--n report, do you have a &(*%&$(&(&&( problem with that mother------ ?"
"Um, McCall, I don’t mean to pull rank, but you should not talk to your superiors that way."
"Superior, my a-s, I will talk to your fat a-s any way I f-----in feel like talking to you. Now, go get some Jenny Craig and get out of my f-----in face."
Charlie, totally befuddled by McCall’s conduct, decides to immediately leave....he felt that was the safest thing to do.

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Later that evening, Hunter is at home with the lights off trying to avoid trick-or-treaters. He begins to hear noises. Suddenly, things start shaking and rattling in his house. He begins to hear footsteps. Hunter, trying to be macho and brave says, "I got my baretta in one hand and my AK 47 in the other. Come out motherjumper, I am not afraid of you. "
There was no movement. Hunter began to feel a frigid breeze pelt his bare broad chest and his six-pack abs. Mysteriously, an eery voice says, "I am the ghost of Raoul Mariano. I have returned from the grave to haunt you and personally kick your a-s. "
Hunter continues to pretend like he is not scared, but his effort is fruitless. He is scared out of his mind. Objects start moving around his apartment and things begin to mysteriously break.
As Hunter begins to run around his house in fear, the haunting voice continues to follow him. It taunts, "Hunter....Hunter....I will get you. Why did you kill me? I am going to haunt you for the rest of your life."
"No you’re not!!" Hunter says trembling in fear. Fear conquers Hunter’s mind and he begins to shoot at the walls, trying to kill the paranormal spirit that was frightening him.
"You can’t kill me, Hunter, you can’t kill me...I am already dead, but I can kill you. I will kill you like you killed me."
Hunter, collapses out of fear, and just lies on the his living room floor, pleading, "Don’t kill me, don’t kill me."
Suddenly, all the commotion stops and two people jump out of the closet and yell, "Gotcha!!" It is McCall and Devane.
Hunter, being defensive, says, "I wasn’t scared...I knew it was you all along."
McCall and Devane respond simulataneously, "Yeah, right."
McCall torments, "Hunter, you folded like a bad poker game."
Hunter states, "Ha, Ha...very funny. Why did you guys try to scare me?"
"Revenge, my dear, revenge." answers McCall. "Remember, last year on Halloween, you scared me by convincing me that Big Foot had faked his death and was coming back to finish his business. That was low, Hunter, that was low."
So, McCall, what was up with you this morning? You just about cursed out all of your co-workers at Parker center. "Oh, that was all part of the trick. Charlie was in on it too. Charlie was also the voice of Raoul."
"Why Charlie?"
"I wanted revenge for all of the Jenny Craig and Slim Fast jokes. They were insensitive and cruel. We all come in different shapes and sizes and that should be appreciated. (there’s a moral here, Hunterites). So, I just thought that this was a way to pay you back. By the way, Hunter, McCall and I rigged all of the special effects."
McCall and Charlie state, " Well, Hunter, the moral of the story is that you never know when past actions can come back and ‘haunt’ you. No pun intended, of course."
"Alright, fine. Sorry for the insensitive pranks and jokes. But you guys just wait until next Halloween..........." :-)