Guilt

By Allegra

Hunter and McCall were sitting at their desks directly across from one another, it had been a long day. One that McCall wished would be over soon, unfortunately, it was going to be an even longer night. A hefty sigh came from McCall’s direction and Hunter looked up to see her eyes closed, elbow on the desk propping up her head. "Don’t you have some place to be?" he asked looking at his watch. "It’s almost 5."
McCall’s brown eyes slowly opened, "yeah, I’m just trying to delay it as much as possible." The dread she was feeling about their newest assignment could not have been more evident to her partner.
"We could back out of this you know, give the case to O’Hern and Navarro." Said Hunter sympathetically.
"I can’t do that," McCall said, emotions about to boil over. "I owe it to Debbie and her mother to find out who killed her."
Seeing his partner like this concerned Hunter. It had been a week since Debbie Small’s body had been found in an alley off of Hollywood Boulevard. Barney listed the cause of death as a blow to the head. Three other girls had been found murdered within a four-block radius in the last two weeks, all with a severe cranial fracture. The autopsy report listed a large amount of an illegal substance in each victim. There was another connection between the girls, they all had red hair and were in their mid-twenties.
"You don’t owe anything McCall..."
Hunter was abruptly interrupted, "It’s my fault she went back out on the street Hunter. If I had just let her stay with me when she asked, after all that stuff came out about her being abused... Maybe then she would have been okay. For god’s sakes her own mother didn’t believe her, she had no one to go to."
"You offered to help her get into therapy, you did the best you could."
"It wasn’t good enough." McCall got up from her chair, she was exhausted. "I gotta go, I’ll see you later." As she left the precinct Hunter couldn’t shake the thought that he should go with her. He had never, in all the years they had been partners, seen McCall let a case get to her the way this one was.

As planned Hunter arrived at McCall’s house at eight o’clock. He came bearing a cheer-me-up gift, Chinese food and a bouquet of carnations. He parked behind her red Daytona and walked to the front door. The fact that there were no lights on in the house did not escape him. Peering through the window next to the door Hunter rang the bell. A few minutes elapsed. Hunter put the food and flowers down on the front step and reached for his gun. Slowly he turned the door handle to find that it was locked, lifting the large clay flowerpot he obtained the key. Just as he slipped it in the lock Hunter heard a noise. His heart leaped into his throat and the sweat began to pour off his forehead. He had no idea why this happened whenever he was in a situation where McCall was in possible danger. If there were a heavily armed suspect behind the door Hunter wouldn’t have been the slightest bit anxious. The guy could even start shooting and Hunter wouldn’t loose his cool. It was an entirely different thing when Dee Dee was involved. Peering through the window again Hunter saw McCall. Between the time it took to realize she was fine and her opening the door Hunter couldn’t get his gun back in it’s holster to hide the fact that he was worried.

McCall stood in the doorway, staring down the barrel of Hunter’s gun, wearing a pink bathrobe and a white towel wrapped turban style around her head. "Uh... Trick-or-Treat?" Hunter said trying to be funny.
"A cop, there’s an original costume. Or are you a robber, in which case you're NOT real convincing and I’m NOT letting you in. And are you aware that Halloween is a week away?"
"I have dinner, and flowers," Hunter said picking up the bags from the step.
McCall eyed them with scepticism choosing to lengthen Hunter’s embarrassment. She knew full well that Hunter had been worried. The look of relief on his face when she opened the door gave it away, not to mention the gun pointing at her. Why he tried to hide it was beyond her, she thought it was flattering.
"Okay, I’m a cop AND..." reaching to the back of his pants and pulling lose the cuffs, Hunter dangled them in front of McCall raising an eyebrow. "I have handcuffs!"
"Well, in that case..." McCall said as she moved to one side of the door holding it open for Hunter.
As Hunter entered he decided he liked this game they were playing. "That is precisely why I worry about you. You didn’t even ask to see ID, you took one look at the cuffs and let me in. I could still be a robber, in which case I should tie you up"
McCall rolled her eyes and went into the kitchen.
"What took you so long to answer the door?"
A large smile was on McCall’s face as she reappeared with some plates, "Were you worried?"
"NO!" Hunter replied too quickly.
"Uh huh," she said with a disbelieving nod. "I was in the tub Hunter. After picking up the wig at that hair boutique I decided I should conserve some energy."
"Oh right, do I get to see?" asked Hunter suddenly remembering where she went at 5.
"After we eat, I’m starving."

Hunter sat on the couch flipping through the channels looking for something to occupy him while he waited for McCall to get ready. During their investigation they had come across a young girl who had spend a lot of time with Debbie. According to her Debbie was working as a prostitute when she was murdered. "I don’t know about this Hunter, why is it that I’m always the one going undercover as a hooker?" Hunter turned around to the direction of McCall’s voice. His gaze fell on her at the top of the stairs, his jaw fell on the floor. It wasn’t until she spoke again that he was sure he was looking at his partner.
"I’m not sure about the hair, it’s SO red. And the make-up, I put less to look younger but they ARE prostitutes so shouldn’t I wear more? I just don’t know." Hunter was paralysed on the sofa watching the 5’6 woman getting closer to him. Her hair was a bright auburn and hanging softly around her face. Her features were beautifully accentuated with next to no make-up. She wore black pants that she literally had to pour herself into and a midriff baring zebra print top that tied around her neck, leaving most of her back bare. Once at the main floor she dropped two pairs of shoes to the ground. "Which do you think look better? I was thinking the stiletto’s." All Hunter could do was nod his approval. McCall slipped the shoes on her feet and looked at Hunter. "You haven’t said a word, it’s awful isn’t it?"

Hunter took a breath and replied, "Yeah awful." McCall’s eyes sank to the floor. She knew she wouldn’t be able to pass for ten years younger to fit the victim profile but still couldn’t help feeling disappointed. Hunter took another breath and continued, "awfully GOOD! WOW, wherever you put my partner, just leave her there." A large smile crept across McCall’s face to match the one on Hunter’s.

McCall found Debbie Small’s friend Kat on the corner of Hollywood and Vine leaning into a late model Ford. She leaned against a storefront and waited to see if Kat would accept the Johns offer. Watching the scene being played just a few feet from her McCall had to remind herself that Kat was only 19. Kat had agreed to help the investigation any way she could, as long as McCall didn’t interfere with her ‘work’. McCall had agreed and explained she wanted to go undercover as bait, which was when Kat explained that she was going to have to meet BJ if she intended to stand on this corner. BJ was the owner of this section of street as well as the girls on it.

"DEE DEE! How are you girl, you’re lookin’ good!" Kat asked, the car now gone.
"Hey Kat, I’m okay. How are you?"
"It’s been a good night, I’m almost at my quota," said the tiny blonde girl smiling, obviously very pleased with herself. "Are you ready to meet BJ?"
"Yeah, I’m a little nervous though," admitted McCall.
"Good, that’s how BJ likes ‘em. I gotta warn you, I can’t stick up for you in there. If something happens, it’s gotta happen, he don’t like his girls being friendly, he’s afraid they might try to pull something on him." McCall was grateful for the warning and nodded her understanding. "Lets go," said Kat taking McCall by the hand and leading her further into the downtown core.

They stopped in front of a seedy rundown hotel used mostly by pimps and dealers. "You’re clean right?" asked Kat. "BJ’s gonna check." The butterflies in McCall’s stomach were getting the best of her. She tried to convince herself that everything was going to be fine, the only thing she had on her was a fake ID and some cash in the pocket of her pants. There was just so much at stake. This was their only real lead, they had no evidence and no witnesses. McCall could not blow this with BJ or the whole case could go out the window. Then they’d have to wait until another girl turned up dead in another ally.

On the second floor they entered a room to find two girls speaking with a man. As soon as the man saw Kat he pushed the girls out the door and slammed it shut. "Who’s this?" He asked rubbing up against McCall. She couldn’t help but cringe, and began to wish she hadn’t talked Hunter out of following her.
"Dee Dee, she wants to work your block," answered Kat going to sit on the only chair in the room.
"Really? Well Dee Dee, you’re going to have to obey the rules. You think you can do that?" So this is BJ McCall thought to herself. He was a short man in his middle thirties with brown hair and a mustash. Not at all what she had pictured in her mind. But then again what was the typical profile of a pimp? They were all different, except in the way they treated their girls. McCall simply nodded in answer to his question recalling Kat telling her he likes his girls intimidated.
"All my girls bring me $500 a night, anything you make over that I get 10%. You don’t make your quota it gets tacked on to the next night." BJ was waiting for a reaction from McCall. She just stared at the floor. "You understand girl?" He yelled. "You know what happens if you don’t follow these rules?"
McCall was still silent. BJ stepped closer and reached out to run the back of his hand down McCall’s check. Suddenly without warning BJ struck McCall sending her flying into the wall behind her. McCall tried to stop her tears from spilling over, but was only mildly successful. She glanced over at Kat who was busy looking out the window.
"That’s what happens," said BJ.

The phone on the nightstand just kept ringing. When it started it was 7 am. McCall refused to answer she had already made up her mind that she wasn’t going to work. A few minutes later it started again, McCall still couldn’t make her body move. On the third set of rings, an hour after the first, McCall was in the bathroom searching for aspirin to calm the aching in her head. Unable to find any and deciding going back to bed, without some sort of pain killer, would be fruitless, she answered the phone. On the other end was Hunter wanting to know the details of the previous night. "How about you bring me some aspirin and I’ll tell you all about it when you get here."
"Went that well huh?" he asked.

"What the hell happened?" Questioned Hunter his hand on McCall’s chin tilting her face up so he could get a better look at the blue and violet bruise.
"Uh, I met BJ," answered McCall.
"And he did this to you? That son-of-a-"
"Hunter," McCall said cutting him off. "Just leave it alone, I’m fine."
Hunter was getting angrier by the minute. "You are not going back out there, we’ll find another way to trap this guy."
"There is no other way, this is the only lead we have in this case. Besides, I won’t be out there alone tonight."
"You damn right you won’t be out there alone. If this guy so much as looks at you the wrong way and I see it, I’m gonna kill him." Hunter said it with such conviction that McCall didn’t doubt it for a second.

The next two nights played out exactly the same. Hunter followed McCall all night and around one a.m. McCall would go and find BJ to give him the money she had supposedly made. Aside from copping a quick feel McCall thought BJ was relatively harmless. On the third night McCall found BJ in his usual place and handed him his cut of her "earnings". She was exhausted. Not only had she had next to no sleep for three nights but she was still suppose to carry on with her daily work. It was taking a toll and all McCall could think about was a nice warm bath and her bed. When BJ told her Kat was in the ally waiting to talk to her she was only thinking of going home. Instead of waiting to get acknowledgement from Hunter to show he saw where she was going she just sighed and went ahead around the corner.
The ally was only lit from one end where the lights from the intersecting street spilled into the darkness. Taking a few steps McCall had to stop and let her eyes adjust. After a couple minutes passed she began to be able to make out boxes and garbage cans. Moving a little further in she saw what looked like feet behind a dumpster. McCall immediately went over and pulled the cardboard off the body and was shocked to see Kat. Her clothes were torn, her lip was bloody and she was clearly unconscious, at least McCall hoped she was only unconscious. "Oh God, Kat?" she cried as she reached out to check for a pulse. Just as her hand was about to touch Kat’s wrist it was grabbed. McCall was violently pulled up from her crouching position and spun around, she knew without having to look up it was BJ. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Checking for a pulse, she needs to get to a hospital."
"And why do you care?"
"Because she’s only 19, she has her whole life ahead of her, she deserves better than this," answered McCall in an unsteady voice unable to hide her concern.
"You know," said BJ in a calm and collected tone his hand still clenched around McCall’s wrist. "I wouldn’t be too worried about her, she sold you out"

McCall had not once considered the danger she was placing herself in before entering the ally, now, with the words "sold you out" ringing in her head, she remembered Hunter a few blocks away. She also remembered he hadn’t seen where she went. McCall opened her mouth to scream but BJ quickly put his hand over it and backed her into a wall. "Oh no you don’t Sergeant. I bet you are going to be much more of a challenge than those other girls." BJ was looking McCall up and down with his hand still over her mouth. McCall decided that it was now or never and began to struggle. BJ yelped in pain as McCall bit his hand but before she could get out any type of sound he back handed her sending her into the wall again, this time McCall hit her head. As she slid to the ground BJ pulled out a syringe filled with a colourless liquid. McCall was having a hard time focusing but was sure she needed to get away. She attempted to stand but was overcome with dizziness and blacked out.

Part 2

"Hunter, in my office," yelled Captain Devane from across the precinct. Hunter looked up from the coffee mug he had been staring into but made no attempt to move. The dark circles under his eyes were silent testimony to the fact that he hadn’t had more than a few hours sleep in the past two days. He sat at his desk now looking at the empty chair across from him. What was he thinking he wondered, when he took his eyes off McCall for the brief second it took for her to disappear. The events of that ominous night replayed in his mind for what must have been the hundredth time... He was standing in front of a grocery store, McCall was about a block and a half east. Hunter watched as McCall and BJ had a short conversation. Then something through the store window caught his attention. When he turned back neither McCall nor BJ were where they had been. Hunter began walking toward the last place he had seen them thinking something may have scared BJ and they had just ducked into a corner. As he began to approach the ally entrance his heart sped up and his stomach jumped into his throat. There was no sign of McCall, he could care less about BJ. Hunter headed down the ally gun drawn, not concerned with being inconspicuous, he had a feeling something was very wrong. Seeing feet behind a trash bin he rushed over fearing that it might be McCall. The sweat was pouring off him as he anticipated the worst. The sight that assaulted him was such a relief that he actually thanked God before bending down to see if Kat was still alive. Finding that she had a weak heart beat Hunter went to the nearest store to call for a paramedic and backup units. While he waited Hunter began searching the ally for clues. Across from Kat he found a small amount of blood, tests later revealed it was McCall’s... Hunter couldn't stand the thought that she was hurt.

"Hunter?" Came Charlie’s voice again. This time Hunter got up and made his way to the captain’s office slowly. Anything would be better than reliving that night, even if it was Charlie telling him to go home again. Upon entering Hunter sank into the sofa. "I have some news that you might be interested in." Hunter looked up and noticed for the first time that Charlie was smiling. That was something that hadn’t been seen much around the station in the last couple of days. Immediately Hunter leaped to a standing position and without waiting for the captain to continue asked, "where is she Charlie?"
"We’re not entirely sure it’s her Hunter. The guy who called described a woman similar to McCall, said he saw her this morning and dispatch passed it on to me. I have black and whites rolling on it now."
"Where Charlie?" demanded Hunter.
"A motel on Highland." As Hunter hurried out of the office Charlie yelled after him, "Be careful!"
"I will," Hunter shouted back.

Room 215 was up a flight of stairs and half way down the open-air hallway. Backup had arrived about two minutes behind Hunter and were now positioned at the bottom of the stairs as well as the back of the building. With his gun cocked and ready Hunter banged on the door yelling, "Police! Open up!" The sound of glass breaking was his signal to break the door in. Stopping just inside, gun aimed and ready, Hunter saw McCall sitting on the bed, hands tied with no other visible signs of being hurt. He took a quick inventory of the room to make sure BJ had indeed gone out the bathroom window. Relief washed over him when Bowlin called up that they had the suspect in custody and he turned his full attention to McCall. It was then that Hunter noticed her vacant stare.

"Dee Dee," he said as he sat on the bed beside her. After untying her hands Hunter turned them palms up revealing small discoloured marks where a needle would have been inserted. "What happened Dee Dee? ...Come on talk to me." Hunter turned her to face him, still there was no sign of McCall behind her lacklustre brown eyes. Hunter was heart broken, it was his fault that this happened and he had no idea how to make it better. He did know however, that he couldn’t let anyone find out or McCall would be sent to detox and have to face departmental humiliation. He could not stand the thought of that happening and being responsible. <7p>

From the hall Hunter called down to the uniformed officers informing them that everything was fine including McCall. She just needed a few minutes to get herself together. A small argument ensued with a rookie over weither or not a paramedic should be called just to be sure she was okay. Hunter pulled rank on him and coolly informed the officer that he should check his facts, an officer may only be seen by a paramedic if he/she is willing. McCall was NOT willing. The officer sensed Hunter’s anger and finally backed off.

Charlie Devane pulled up to the motel roughly five minutes after he received the call informing him that Billy Joe Cochrane a.k.a. BJ had been arrested and that McCall was safe. Getting out of his car the Captain rushed up to the room that was over flowing with officers. Looking around he didn’t see Hunter or McCall. "Which hospital did they take McCall to?" He questioned the rookie standing beside him.
"Uh, she didn’t go to the hospital." Was the reply.
"Well then, where are they?"
"Hunter said he was taking McCall to get cleaned up."
"You didn’t find out where?" Asked Charlie getting annoyed and raising his voice slightly.
"No," answered the rookie flatly and walked off tired of being yelled at.

Arriving back at the station Charlie found a message waiting on his desk. The pink piece of paper read, Hunter will be taking the next 7 days as vacation time and will be unreachable, McCall is with him. "Huh," sighed Charlie wondering what happened at the motel. "Hunter has never taken any vacation time willingly," he thought.

Part 3

Hunter brought McCall to a friends cabin, it was relatively secluded and next to a lake.
He sat on a chair next to the bed and watched McCall tossing and turning in her sleep. The guilt he was feeling over the situation was unbelievable. He had no idea how he was going to get through the next few days. McCall was going to go through some brutal withdrawal symptoms. From the looks of her when Hunter found her he guessed she’d been drugged for the entire two days she’d been missing. Somehow, Hunter thought this was part of his punishment for letting this happen. He vowed to himself that he would go through it all with her.

A painful sounding cry woke Hunter. He bolted upright from his slouched position in the chair. McCall’s dark hair was plastered to her head with sweat and the covers that had been tucked neatly around her were now on the floor. Even the under sheet had been half pulled from the mattress with her thrashing. Hunter knelt beside the bed and put a damp cloth on her forehead. McCall’s eyes opened as she realized she wasn’t alone. "Hunter?" Glancing around the room she asked, "where am I?" Before Hunter could get the answer out McCall rolled into a ball clutching her stomach and another cry escaped her lips. "Oh GOD! It feels like I was shot," she moaned. Hunter regretfully explained that he had lost sight of her, and BJ ended up holding her hostage. Tears began to make their way down McCall’s cheeks not from the pain of the cramps but from the realization that she had no memory of the previous two days.

A few hours and many exchanges of hot water bottles later the cramps were diminishing in intensity. McCall was worn out and dozing in and out of sleep. Hunter didn’t want to leave her in the twisted sheets and soaked clothes all night. He gently shook her arm and asked if she’d be okay to sit in a hot bath while he changed the bed sheets.

In the bathroom McCall’s sweats were slowly giving way to the chills and she moved as quickly as her exhausted body would allow to get into the waiting warm water. Hunter had insisted that she leave the door ajar, just in case, so McCall was standing directly behind it and in front of a full length mirror as she undressed. All of a sudden she caught sight of herself. Starting with a cut lip she examined the reflection. Turning her arms she looked at the faint marks, slowly turning her body she studied the bruising on her back. Then turning back to towards the mirror her eyes stopped at the bruising on her thighs. Standing stark still she searched her mind for the events that caused them. Unable to remember and letting her imagination come up with the worst possible scenario she let out an excruciatingly embittered cry.

Hunter arrived at the door in one large step only to have it shut and locked in his face. On the other side of the door McCall fell to the ground sobbing.
"Dee Dee, let me in," Hunter said concerned.
"Go away Hunter," replied McCall. "Why didn’t he just kill me?" she asked between sobs. Hearing that Hunter was unable to stop his own tears as they welled up. This was killing HIM.
"Please just leave me alone," cried McCall. Hunter slumped to the floor and leaned against the door listening to his partner sob. He didn’t know what to do. Of all the reactions and symptoms he was prepared for McCall to have, anger wasn’t one of them. Though thinking about it now it should have topped his list. After all, he was mad at himself, it was his fault and obviously she knew that, therefore it would be normal for her to be mad.

Hunter was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice the silence. When the door opened Hunter fell backward nearly smacking his head on the tile floor. Recovering quickly he returned to a sitting position and looked up at his partner, who was now clad in a mid-length robe she found in the bathroom. "I thought I asked you to leave," she said angrily avoiding eye contact. As Hunter stood he couldn’t help but look at McCall’s legs. It was then he noticed her bruises and the look in her eyes. "Dee Dee?" he questioned trying to judge her state of mind by watching her expression. Closing her eyes she turned her back to him. Hunter tried again, "do you want to talk about it?"
"Talk about what? I can’t remember ANYTHING," McCall said through clenched teeth. She was mad at herself for what happened even though she wasn’t entirely sure what actually had. She once again faced Hunter and yelled, "GET OUT." Instead of leaving Hunter came towards McCall and put his arms around her. She became infuriated and began pushing him away, banging on his chest with her fists. "How could I have let this happen? God, I’m a cop and I’m suppose to protect people but I can’t even protect myself," she sobbed. "Why are you here Hunter?"
Holding McCall tighter to him he answered, "Because I care and because I was the one who lost sight of you, if I hadn’t nothing would have happened." McCall stopped struggling and sank into the comfort of her partner’s arms. "It’s NOT your fault McCall."

An hour later McCall was once again trying to break free of Hunter’s insistent grip. This time however, she succeeded and made it to the bathroom before the sick feeling completely overtook her. "Are you okay?" McCall pulled her head out of the toilet and looked up at her partner. "NO! Please Hunter, go away. I’m so embarrassed." She should have known that he would insist on staying by her side. McCall was beginning to think there was nothing she could do that would make Hunter want to leave.

Sometime in the night Hunter was awakened by what sounded like pots and pans clanging. He was amazed that he had been able to fall asleep. He didn’t know what he would do if McCall had been raped by this creep. Hunter heard the noise again and got up heading in the direction of the kitchen. Once there he found his partner in the same white robe puttering around, pans everywhere and broken eggshells on the counter.
"I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you."
"I uh, wasn’t sleeping," Hunter lied. "What are you making?"
"I don’t know," McCall said looking at the mess. "I’m starving and I thought I’d make eggs but now I just can’t seem to stop moving."
"Well, here let me do it," Hunter said putting his hands on McCall’s shoulders and guiding her to a chair. The second she sat down she got up again. "What are you doing, just let me take care of you."
"Hunter, I told you, I can’t stay still. It’s like I’ve had fifty cups of coffee," she said as she began to pace the floor.

McCall was still walking back and forth when Hunter set the scrambled eggs and bacon on the table. "You know McCall, you’re starting to wear away the tile over there. Why don’t you come and sit down."
"I can’t. When I stop moving it feels like I’m going to explode."
"I have an idea," Hunter said as he got up from the table. "Go put some clothes on and we’ll go for a walk. You’re doing a lot better and I think the fresh air will do you some good."
She started fidgeting with the belt of the robe. "Doing a lot better? I can't be still for even one minute and you think I’m better."
"Just do it will yah."

Inside the cabin McCall sat in front of the wood burning fireplace, her shakes and queasiness now long gone. "Hunter," she said a thought occurring to her. "Is Kat alive. I remember going into the ally and finding her and then just as I was about to check BJ grabbed me. I don’t think I could live with myself if..."
Hunter interrupted, "She is just fine."
McCall let out a sigh of relief. "Did we end up getting BJ and connecting him with Debbie’s murder?"
"Well, now I KNOW you're feeling better," smiled Hunter who was on the floor next to her. "How could you be thinking about work sitting in front of this beautiful fire." Off of his partner’s pleading look he continued, "yeah, we got him."
McCall sighed and asked, "so, I guess it’s back to the real world tomorrow. What am I going to tell Charlie?"
"No way McCall! We are on vacation, and Charlie knows that. We have three more days and when we get back you will tell Charlie what a wonderful time you had and what a GREAT guy I am."
"I won’t argue with the great guy part Hunter. But, the wonderful time, I don’t think I’d want to do it again!"
"Well, tomorrow we’ll make up for all the snags we’ve encountered! That is a beautiful boat out there tied to the dock and I intend to make good use of it. WE are going fishing McCall!"
McCall scrunched up her nose and asked, "Don’t you think I’ve been through enough?"