“Ares…I…”
Gently he brought up a finger to Xena’s soft lips, silencing them. Each touch set her body on fire, and was all consuming. She looked up into his deep eyes. There was pain obvious in them, and she guessed it was mirrored in her own. Right now she didn’t know what to believe…how to feel. This feeling was completely new to her. It was like going onto a battlefield without a strategy or even weapons.
Ares eyes continued to search hers. His heart nearly broke when he saw a slight glimmer of moisture trail down her cheek. Then the realization set in. What was he doing? He did not want her…like this.
“Xena…I never meant to hurt you…that was never my plan…never what I wanted to happen. You were the best thing…are the best thing…that has ever happened to me. You are all I have left in the world. That is why I do not want to loose you…. I could not bare the thought of loosing you.” He gazed deep in her glistening eyes. “But I can not bare to see you in pain…pain I know I put there…and that makes it hurt me even more. So now I see…. I understand it now. Know that I do love you, Xena…but it is because of that love that I can not bare to see you hurt again…or more than you are now. I do not wish to…but if you wish…I will leave you alone. This will be the last time you see me…if only you will tell me goodbye.” He lowered his eyes from hers and felt a tear of his own travel down his cheek. His voice trailed into a pained whisper. “I do not deserve you.”
Xena listened. His words seared holes in her heart. How can he say that to me? “Maybe you don’t…but I…can not…deny my heart what it is feeling right now….” She slowly shook her head. “I will not tell you goodbye…I can’t. My life without you would be…unbearable.”
“Xena, what are you trying to say?”
Why must he rush me? Does he not know how hard this is? She breathed in deep as more tears began to fall. “I don’t want you to leave me alone. Over these past months I have experienced my life without you for a second time, and it was cold. I felt nothing but pain and loneliness. It was like a continual winter, which had no hope because it would never know the summer. I miss that summer…that warmth that only you can give. Ares, I do not want you to leave me alone. I want you to be here…with me. I need you…right now I need you. I no longer wish to be alone…that is my wish.” She felt Ares take her hand in his and hold it firmly, his breathing heavy. His face was now inches away from hers. “Ares…I forgive you.”
Ares reached his muscled arms around her body, drawing her close. Firmly he held her in his arms, and soon felt her whole body relax. With her in his arms he felt a sort of completion, and never wanted to let go. Xena’s hands roamed on nape of his neck trying to pull him still closer. She too felt this completion, and smiled. They were together again, and this time nothing would ever come between them. No force was powerful enough to separate them this time. With a bond stronger than before she decided they truly were destined to be together.
Ares pulled back a little, just to look at her beautiful face. She was smiling. How he loved it when she smiled, but she did it so rarely. Just to see that expression of joy on her face, bliss mirrored on her features, was worth dying for. “Xena…I am so sorry. It will never hap….” She cut him off with a finger to his lips.
“Now it’s my turn to silence you…. None of that is important anymore. The past is in the past…. Live for the future…our future where we will be together.”
“That is worth living for.” Slowly he lowered his head to hers and planted a kiss on her waiting lips. The kiss was so gentle. It was not a kiss of unrequited passion, but merely one of love. It only hinted at the passion that lay behind it. Xena turned her head, exposing her neck, as his kissing made its way slowly downward. He was in no rush. Ares wanted to enjoy his night for as long as he could. He felt her pulse racing beneath his lips as he continued to plant divine kisses all down her neck. Xena shut her eyes in sheer pleasure. “Ares…I love you.”
Bringing his face up, and nearly to hers, he whispered, “And I you…my princess.” He pressed his lips onto hers again, and held each other tight.
Without even breaking their kiss, in a shimmer of blue light they both disappeared. They reappeared in Ares temple.
Ares hands freely roamed over Xena’s back, as she urged him on with her own. Gently he tugged on the straps over his shift, which lay on her shoulders. He pulled them down, and heard a dull thud as her garment dropped to the floor. He took a moment to marvel at his princess, her firm gently tanned body. Every time he saw her was a wonderful as it had been the first time. She truly was perfect.
Xena’s own hands went to work at removing his black leather. But now Ares was excited to get on with the proceedings, and decided to help out a bit. With a thought he removed what was left of his clothing. The feel of his strong bare body against hers nearly brought Xena over the edge, but she still strived to maintain some level of control. Xena noticed they had somehow gotten into Ares bedchamber. And with a push, Ares was on top of her in his bed. All at once, Xena reversed the positions and was now on top. Ares knew she had decided she was going to take control. But instead of allowing it, he quickly reversed back. Then gazed into the eyes of a very confused warrior princess. “Xena, no. Tonight I just want you to let go. No controlling…no fighting for power…nothing…. You need this. I will do the work.” He slowly brushed away a lock of her ravel black hair from her face, and them cupped her face gently in his hands. “Just let yourself melt into me.” With a simple nod, he felt her relax beneath him, and then he descended again for a kiss.
* * * * *“Are you serious, Herc? Xena?…our Xena?” Iolaus paced down the path next to Hercules. So many questions were running through his mind. He couldn’t believe he had missed that much on his short little trip.
“Yes! I am serious…. She must have really felt at a loss after Gabrielle died.”
“She must have…to go on a path of destruction that intense. You didn’t tell me how you stopped her.” They stopped walking down the path for a brief moment as Hercules turned to face him.
“Well now that I think about it…I wasn’t really responsible for it. It’s a long story. But from what I have heard, is it was actually Ares that pushed her away.”
“Ares?! You’re kidding me. After all that time he spent trying to get her back? I would think he’d be overjoyed…especially because she became his lover.”
“Oh he definitely was happy…in fact I don’t think I’ve ever seen him happier. Now I’m not sure of the details…this is just what I have been hearing…but for some reason he cheated on Xena, she found out…then left. It was as simple as that.” He looked at Iolaus. “But all that really matters is she changed…again.”
“Yeah. I just can’t believe she would ever do such a thing. You haven’t talked to her recently have you?” He glanced up at him questioningly.
“No. At the time I didn’t think she could stand talking to me.”
“Well right now she may be in some pain. It was probably a bad breakup, and also because of the initial death of Gabrielle…. I think we should at least find her to make sure she’s okay.”
Hercules nodded. “You’re right. I would like to see her again.” They quickened their pace as they continued down the dirt road.
On top of her horse she felt like a queen. She sat above the world. Xena looked around her. Thousands of warriors prepared for the battle…a battle that would be remembered through the centuries. All she could hear was the sound of swards clashing…practice. They had been trained well…and will win. The largest city in Greece will fall…Sparta. A cool breeze blew through her hair, sending it back over her shoulders. Xena breathed in deep. How could she leave this? This was her home. This was where she belonged. Here she was free. Suddenly she felt strong arms wrap around her waist, and a firm body behind her. Relaxing, she leaned into him. “Ares….”
“You have no idea how good it feels to hold you.”
“Now…if I remember correctly, we’ve done this whole scene before…. Will you be here when I get back?”
“Xena, you have my word. I will never leave you. That’s a promise.”
“Good.” She shifted her position in his arms, bringing her face close so his. “And when I get back…,” she whispered in his ear.
“We will celebrate your victory,” he stated, finishing her sentence. He gently brushed his lips up against hers. “Any choice of wine?” His voice grew rich and seductive.
She smiled. “Who’ll have time to drink.”
“Oooh.” He pressed his mouth onto hers. She slid her hand underneath his vest. He pulled her close. Suddenly she pulled away.
“No. Not now…you’ll just have to wait till I return.” She was teasing him…and he knew it. But how he loved her for it.
He cocked an eyebrow, and smiled. “Very well.” Gently he took her hand in his, brought her palm up to his lips, and planted a kiss. “Until then, my dear.” Then he disappeared.
Slowly she shook her head, still smiling. ‘Oh well, duty calls,’ she thought. Drawing her sword, she held it up in front of her. The sun gleamed off of it. A glint of light caught her eye, and she breathed in deep. Today she will show people how strong she actually is. Xena kicked her horse, and then headed out into her army of soldiers. Nearing the front, she started to slow down.
In front of her was probably the largest army Greece had ever known. She took a deep breath. “Everyone,” she proclaimed with a loud voice, “today is a day that will go down in history. Every one of you here today will be working to make history. So let’s make it good. What will we do?” With confidence she sat up straight and thrusted her sword into the air. “We’ll kill ‘em all!” she shouted. That brought a rise from the men. Everyone started to cheer, feeling their purpose and the importance of this next battle. The bloodlust shown in their eyes, and Xena felt the anxiety building in her veins. She smiled viscously, and then lowered her arm.
Before she left she saw Ares. He was standing behind everyone, watching her with great interest. She quickly caught his eye, and he gave her one of his devilish grins. Just knowing that he’d be watching gave Xena even more of a thrill. For her, it was almost an erotic foreplay. Killing was part of their passion, and that made it even more exhilarating. She knew what she’d be returning to, but more importantly what awaited her in battle. Kicking her horse, she started on her way, with an entire army of men following.
Soon Sparta was coming into view. Xena could see people scurrying about in their daily lives, completely oblivious to what was about to happen. They had no defense, no warning. For a second the concept of morality slipped into her mind, but she pushed it out as quickly as it came. In order to do this, she had to be like she was before. Xena sat there a moment, just watching. A mother had just bought something from a street vender, with the little child tagging along, skipping joyfully. An older man was out for a walk, holding his cane. Then she saw a woman. This woman was simply standing there, staring straight at her. Xena wondered how she even noticed, since they were still a good distance away. As she stared at this woman, she noticed something. Inside her she could she a vengeful goddess. Velaska. Such was this woman’s resemblance that Xena found her heart beginning to harden. All that was in her mind now, was Gabrielle being killed by Velaska. With such a woman, this village deserved to be destroyed. And with the last shred of doubt pushed out of her heart, Xena felt she was now ready. “Well…time to make history,” she mumbled to herself.
The army began their descent upon the village like wolves to their prey. Throughout the village her war cry echoed. The people, who had realized the danger far too late, were running around frantically trying to get in their houses or run away. A few farmers tried to stand up and make a fight. Xena watched as her army crushed them instantly.
Though the large town did have an extensive and well-trained army, it had already been too late for it to mobilize though. Their only defense was scanty groups of men, armed with only a sword each. Her army seemed to rip through the town, and she reviled in it. Though Xena decided she would have liked it better if there was more of a challenge. She needed a worthy opponent. Aimlessly she began to twirl her sword, strolling further down the street and into the town. Her mind drifted to Ares. He was so good to her. She began to wish he was here. How could I have ever thought I could live without him, she began to wonder.
No sooner had she thought that than he was by side. Gently he placed one hand on her shoulder from behind and the other around her waist, pulling her close. She sighed contently and leaned in. “You need not even call, Xena. Just think of me and I shall appear,” he whispered into her ear. “I would drop everything for you.”
Xena began to feel the heat spreading throughout her body. “Just to have you here….” She trailed off, too content to even respond.
“I know, sweet. I know.”
Xena could feel her body relaxing, feeling so protected. She was in the middle of a battle. The town around her was crumbling to pieces. People were dying. Yet she felt nothing…saw nothing. Xena and Ares were in their own world, where nothing could touch them.
“Looks like your job is being well done,” he commented casually.
“Did you think otherwise?”
“Never.”
Xena shut her eyes as his hand began to roam is circles around on her stomach.
Xena and Ares watched as a man was killed right in front of them. This had been one of the few men to put up a fight with her soldiers. He died at her feet with an arm having fallen over her boot. ‘Serves him right,’ she thought. No one can resist.
“You see, Xena?”
“What?” She looked back at him.
“Everyone will bow…or fall…to you. You are my queen, and I will make sure you are treated like the queen you deserve to be.” His voice grew rich and seductive.
“I am a queen…who has found my king….”
“And with whom you shall rule.” He finished her sentence.
Xena looked up when she heard a woman scream. It brought her back to reality. “Well…this is my fight, Ares. And I would much rather be a participant than an observer.”
“I know.”
“Will you be leaving then?” ‘Please let him say no…please let him say no,’ she thought.
“And miss seeing my warrior princess work? I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Xena smiled gratefully and moved out of his strong grip. Holding up her sword covered in blood, she decided to join in the battle. As every one of Xena’s blows made contact, Ares shared in her excitement. Every single drop of blood that fell on her also fell on him. This was how close their bond was. Ares knew Xena felt this as well, for she preformed with emotion greater than before.
Every move seemed to enchant Ares. He watched her closely. Xena felt compelled to please him, so she decided to give him a show.
Twirling her sword, she began her beautifully violent dance. Ares mouth nearly dropped. She performed with the grace of a princess but the strength and bloodlust of a warrior. At this moment Ares knew exactly why she was called the warrior princess. The title would have never suited anyone else. Xena completely destroyed everything in her path. ‘Magnificent,’ Ares thought. With a thought, he made himself invisible, and passed through her body, reappearing at the other side to face her. She stopped fighting and stared into his eyes.
“Ares…Did you come here to prevent my fighting?”
“No. Only to motive and to join.” He pulled out his sword.
“Then together…let’s destroy this village.”
“It would be my pleasure.” Xena smiled.
As one, they began their bloody march through the village. Having lost all hope, the town collapsed. Blood covered its once fruitful ground. It was late evening when the battle finally concluded. Very few were left standing. It had been catastrophic for both sides.
Xena and Ares stood in the middle of it all. He had his arm around her waist, holding her protectively. Surrounding them was a field of bodies.
He breathed in deeply, letting the smells from the battle fill him. “Look around you, Xena. On this day you have made…history. The name Xena will never be forgotten.”
“Neither will her lover’s.”
Smiling, Ares arched an eyebrow. “You know, one year ago you would have never even dreamed of calling me that.”
“No…see that is where you are wrong. I have always loved you…. I just wouldn’t let myself admit it.”
“Because of Gabrielle?”
Xena flinched as a sharp pain stung her heart when he said Gabrielle. “No…not just because of her. I was the problem. I couldn’t allow you to be in my life…not with the path I was headed in.”
“But now…?”
“But now everything is different. I’ve realized something. All that time I was walking a path I was never destined to walk in the first place. I was denying my true self.”
“I could have told you that, Xena. Sometimes I look back and wish I could have changed what happened to Gabrielle…just to spare you that pain. But then I think of what’s happened now…to us. And I couldn’t bear the thought of my life without you…. I doubt I would have brought her back…. Do you hate me for this?”
Xena studied his eyes. Gently she brought up her hand to stroke the side of his face, trailing her fingers along the outline of his cheek. “No…I don’t. Ares, I am thankful for what happened. I would not change it even if I could. It brought me to you.”
Ares shut his eyes to let her words sink in. Then, wrapping a hand around her neck, he descended for a kiss. Their lips had almost touched when suddenly they head a voice shout out Xena’s name. Both of them turned towards its source.
“Hercules…so good of you to come,” Xena called out to him.
“Xena! I thought you were over him! Why would you let him subject you to more harm?!” His voice was rising with anger.
“Because I love him. I can not help the way I feel.”
“He’s corrupted you! Why can’t you see that?”
Having heard enough, Ares decided to put an end to this. “Enough!”
“Ares, I am not here to talk to you. I came to see Xena. Stay out of this!”
“But I am very much in this already. And anyway, Xena does not wish to be disturbed right now. We have to celebrate our victory.”
“You mean slaughter! Ares, let her go!” he shouted sternly.
“Never!” Grabbing Xena’s hand, Ares turned to leave. He was not in the mood o deal with this. However, Xena pulled away from his grasp and turned to face Hercules.
“Hercules, why won’t you just accept this?” Xena’s voice was pleading.
He looked around the field. “Look around you…. What do you see?”
“A victory.”
“Well that’s not what I see. I see death…. I see suffering.” He turned to look at Xena. “And I see a murderer.”
“Murderer?”
“Yes. You killed innocents, Xena. They have done nothing to you.”
“It was for the greater good.”
“No, Xena. You can’t believe that. Now listen to me. I know there is good inside you. Please…I beg you. Do not become the monster you were.”
“I fight with Ares now. Nothing you do can change that.”
“Xena…you know I care for you…a great deal. That is why I am so involved right now."
“Hercules…I’ve spent an entire life time following my head, trying to tell the difference between right and wrong. And now…after everything…all I have is a lifetime of regret. For once I am going to follow my heart. And….”
“Xena….” Hercules was looking desperate.
“I love….”
“Don’t!” His voice was a warning.
“Ares.”
Hercules stood silently for a moment. “You know I must stop you. I can’t let you do this.”
“You’ll do what you feel you must.” Xena saw the pain in his eyes, and truthfully it hurt her as well. But it would hurt her more in a life without Ares. Ares was standing a few yards behind her. He stood triumphantly although a look of pure hatred was visible on his face whenever he looked at his half-brother. He waited patiently for his princess.
Xena turned her back to Hercules, preparing to leave. Suddenly Hercules screamed her name. She turned to him. With tears in his eyes, he rushed forward, plunging a dagger deep into Xena’s chest. She had no time to react.
Xena gasped at the impact, and looked down at the knife which he held in his hand. I was the Hind’s Blood Dagger. ‘How did he get it?’ she wondered. Right away she knew it would be fatal. She already could feel the energy beginning to leave her body, as her lifeblood began to flow freely onto Hercules’ hand.
“No!” Ares screamed as loudly as he could. Rushing over to Xena’s side, he pulled her free from the dagger. He gently cradled her on the bloody grass. Hercules stepped back, allowing them their last moments together.
“No….” Ares said softly. Warm tears began to roll down his cheek.
“Ares….” She couldn’t talk in anything but a pained whisper.
“I’m here sweet. You’re going to be okay. I’m going to get you fixed up and everything’s going to be just like it was before.” His voice was breaking.
“Liar…. I can see it in your eyes.” Xena tried to smile, but every move was an extreme effort.
“Xena, you can’t leave me…. Please don’t go. I beg you.” His entire face was wet from tears, and his eyes told her how hurt he truly was. “Don’t leave me.”
“I never will.” Slowly Xena brought up her fingers to his face. “I didn’t know gods cried.”
“No one ever has…until now.” He took her extended hand and grasped it firmly in his.
“Don’t worry for me, Ares…. I am not afraid.” Her breathing was getting faint.
“I know,” he stated and gave her hand a squeeze.
“And I want you to know that I regret nothing. I would change nothing. Ares, I love you.”
“And I you…my queen.” Tenderly he pressed his lips onto hers, trying to remember everything.
With his lips still pressed against hers, he felt Xena breathe her last breath, and her heart silenced. Her fingers slipped out of his hand. And as quickly as she had come into his life, she was gone.
Unable to control himself anymore, Ares buried his head in his hands, crying. He had lost the only thing in his world he ever loved. He lived centuries before, but this was the only time he was truly alive. Nothing mattered now. He was alone. Ares looked at the face of his beloved. Even in death she was beautiful. He smoothed a strand of hair away form her face. He watched as a drop of water came down and hit her face. He looked up. It was raining. ‘Now no one can tell my tears form the rain,’ he thought.
Then he saw it…the way out. Right next to Xena was the answer to all his problems…the way he could be reunited with his love. On the grass laid the dagger. With trembling hands he picked it up, and raised it up to the sky. Ares took one last look at his princess. “I love you, Xena. You are my light, my reason, my life…. And I can not live without you.” Finishing that sentence, he plunged the dagger deep into his heart. With his last bit of strength he laid down next to Xena, holding her closely. He died in her arms.
And the rest was silent…except for the falling rain.
“Gabrielle had once said that everyone was born with four arms and four legs. But then Zeus threw down thunderbolts and split everyone in two. They now had two arms and two legs. But even though they were separated, they knew a part of themselves were missing, and in turn felt a desperate longing to be reunited. Now everyone on earth spends their life just trying to find the other part of their soul. Not everyone is lucky enough to them. Only certain people do….”
“But I thought you said there was no possible way Xena and Ares could truly be in love?” Iolaus asked.
Hercules looked at him. “Well…it appears I was wrong.”