You Know You've been Watching Too Much Xena When...

by Larissa

Disclaimer - Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyrights were harmed in the writing of this this story

  • You refuse to read "Julius Ceaser" in english because you "have a history with him".
  • You imitate the war cry, all for the amusement of your friends, then proceed to try to do "the look".
  • You start using expressions like "What in Tarturus is that?", "What in Zeus name?", and "Holy Hera" as a regular part of conversation.
  • You find a big stick alongside the road and insist to your friends that it's a fighting staff.
  • You smell something bad and you whirl around expecting to see Ares behind you.
  • Your idea of a dream come true would be going to New Zealand to meet the cast and crew of "Xena".
  • You tell your mother that all you want for christmas is a chakram.....and some boots.
  • You see someone wearing leather and freak because he looks like "a warlord you once fought".
  • Your friend gets a horse and you tell her her she should name it Argo.
  • Role playing and writing fan fic are two major parts of your life.
  • You call your best friend Gabby and she calls you Xena.
  • Several of your boyfriends have unexplainably been killed.
  • You tell your friends there are at least five other people that look "just like you" but not to be fooled.
  • You believe that the stupid boy who lives next door is really the reincarnation of Joxer.
  • You get in trouble for repeatedly throwing a frisbee against the house and claim you were practicing with your chakram.
  • Your parents don't understand why you must coordinate your schedule around when Xena comes on t.v.
  • You follow a fire truck thinking it will lead you to Callisto.
  • People don't believe you when you tell them your best friend is an Amazon Queen.
  • You confuse the guy at Krogers when you ask him how many dinars a gallon of milk costs.
  • At family reunions you always want to tell you relatives about your days as an evil warlord and how you changed your ways.
  • You go to a party and tell your friend she should tell everyone a tale of one of your adventures.
  • You have an obsession with tall men who wear leather.
  • You hear a valley girl talking and think it's Aphrodite.
  • At the beginning of the school year your teacher asked what you did over the summer and you reply "The usual - I went to the underworld a few times, got my body swicthed around, defeated some gods, and stopped some wars."
  • You beg your global studies teacher to let you write a paper on the origins of the Amazon Nation.
  • You're babysitting your little sisters and when they don't do what you say you threaten to use the "pinch" on them.
  • Someone mentions your friend's blond hair and you say "she prefers strawberry blond".
  • On a job resume under "previous experience" you write "helping people and turning from the dark side". Under references you put Ares, Hercules, and Iolaus.
  • You refuse to go on a boat because your "stomach can't handle it".
  • You really love fish.
  • When people ask you who your father is you reply "I wish I knew".
  • Someone says the word Hope and you get angry and scream "she killed my son!"
  • Whenever your friend gives you a compliment you reply - "I have many skills".

    Send any and all comments to Princess_Venus_Minako@yahoo.com. I'd love to hear anymore if you guys got them!