Interview with Xena Warrior Princess on Life, Love, Gods of War who want to make you their Queen and Blonde Friends

by Tali

Sex: Nope

Violence: Nope

Rating: G

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters of Xena Warrior Princess. They belong to Universal, MCA and Renaissance. If I owned them Xena and Ares would be playing house by now.

Lisa: Good Morning. Last week I had the pleasure of interviewing Ares God of War on his much publicized affair with the Warrior Princess. (Remembers back when Ares gave her a deadly look and she thought she wouldn’t make it out of the interview alive). Today I am talking to Xena herself. How are you today?

Xena: Very well thank you. How are you?

Lisa: Great. So you an Ares have had an on off thing going for a few years now, how has that been?

Xena: (in deep concentration until she comes up with a cover) Whatever Gabrielle said was a lie, she was very drunk and ended up in bed with Joxer. Nothing has happened between me and Ares in years.

Lisa: What about the bathroom incident?

Xena: I don’t count that.

Lisa: In his temple?

Xena: (gulps) Cover.

Lisa: What about these strange dreams you have been having?

Xena: How in Tarturas did you find out about those?

Lisa: Never mind.

Xena: Good.

Lisa: Many people believe you are going to have his baby. Is this true?

Xena: No comment!

Lisa: Some people thought Eve was his child.

Xena: Well, she’s not is she.

Lisa: According to Gabrielle you and Ares have been spending alot of time together.

Xena: I told you she was drunk. (Looks at Lisa begging her to believe her story)

Lisa: (Decides to give the poor woman a break and believe her story about Gabrielle. That would explain how perky she was) Oh. Did you ever love Ares?

Xena: I have a special place in my heart for Ares, whether it’s a good place or not is an entirely different matter.

Lisa: It was loverly talking to you. (Surprised that Xena seemed more vulnerable than vicious)

Xena: Thanks for having me.