by Kim
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters of Xena, just borrowing, I am not making any money out of this.
Chapter One
“Ummm, Xena can I have a word with you?” The bard approached Xena carefully. Xena was quiet startled by the question, it was the timidness in Gabrielle’s voice that sent her on the alert. She knew it wasn’t something she wanted to talk about. Xena paused as she sharpened her sword, her face still a firm mask.
“Sure Gabrielle, go ahead.” She said, she didn’t show any emotion in the answer.
“Xena stop sharpening the sword and come talk with me, please, I want to have your viewpoint about something.” Gabrielle continued. Xena lifted up an eyebrow. Now she was suspicious, Gabrielle wanted her viewpoint on something Xena didn’t like, she had a few guesses on what Gabrielle might bring up. Xena stopped sharpening her sword though and went over to sit on their makeshift seat, which was a log, next to Gabrielle. “What’s wrong?” Xena asked, trying to say it lightly, so that Gabrielle knew she could talk about what was bothering her. What was bothering her? Xena thought, she had been quieter than usual for a couple of weeks now, ever since on of Ares’ plans back fired. Xena couldn’t figure what was so strange about that so she waited patiently for Gabrielle to start.
Gabrielle was quiet for what seemed an eternity but with caution she started out, “Xena, I wanted….I wanted to talk to you about someone.” Xena just raised an eyebrow at this statement. Gabrielle obviously wanted to talk about Ares, it was a subject she was wary of and Gabrielle was always trying to get her viewpoint on him.
“Okay, so what do you want to know about Ares?” Xena asked, her voice was tight, she hated this subject and would have walked away if it wasn’t for Gabrielle’s next little statement, “I…I don’t want to know about him. Ummm,” Gabrielle touched her temple at this statement and Xena just sat, rooted to the spot, she was not going to like this she knew. Xena gently touched Gabrielle’s shoulder, “You can tell me.” She encouraged, has he done something? Xena asked herself, why was Gabrielle so scared of Xena’s reaction? Xena was very wary though, Gabrielle never got like this, Gabrielle; she was...tongue tied. “I think that I’m in love with him.” Gabrielle stated. Xena blinked. Had she heard right, her bard was in love with Ares? Xena’s mind practically slowed to a crawl, she couldn’t really think properly, she was in shock.
Gabrielle desperately didn’t want this silence, “I mean, he isn’t she bad, you remember when he was turned human, him and Aphrodite? We got on so well and he… he liked me too I think. I just want to know what you think about it, I mean can the God of War love; can he love me?” Tears were glistening in Gabrielle’s eyes and Xena heart went out to her.
“I don’t know, Gabrielle.” Was all she stated, and she meant it, she didn’t know about anything anymore, she felt like the wind had been knocked out of her and her heart crushed. It was true.
“I always thought that I hated him, I really did, but then there was this other side and it was so…nice. I just want to help him, to love him.” Didn’t Gabrielle realise she was pounding on Xena’s bare chest? Xena face was stony and her posture rigid.
“Gabrielle why don’t you sleep on it a while longer, give me time to think about what we can do?” Xena suggested, she desperately needed to think about all of this and what it implied. She also needed to mend her heart. “Does this mean you support it Xena? Oh, thank you. Yes, I’ll go to bed, I haven’t slept in ages, I was so worried you take it all the wrong way!” Gabrielle was really happy. Xena just sat. She watched as Gabrielle jumped into her bed roll and, true to her word, she fell asleep straight away.
Xena couldn’t hold it up much longer, she ran into the woods, getting away from Gabrielle and her heart ache. Only, the heart ache followed and eventually she laid done on a falling tree and wept.
Her eyes were red raw and her pain just wouldn’t go away. She was on the verge of falling into despair when she felt an all too familiar tingle run down her spine.
Her head shot up and she desperately tried to wipe her eyes, only succeeding in making them redder. Great She thought to her self. She coughed clearing her throat, so that her voice didn’t break when she spoke.
“Go away Ares.” She said, it was barely above a whisper, she needed him there but it only made her heart ache more and she couldn’t bare that. She would rather live her life alone than have to deal with this pain she was in right now.
“You know I couldn’t do that.” Ares voice chimed as he stepped from the aether in a sparkle of blue light. Xena’s heart leapt, Gods he was so gorgeous, the tightness of his trousers, the muscles of his abdomen, his pecks and finally his face. She craved for those lips, she wanted to fall into those dark orbs of his eyes and stay in them forever and she longed to run her fingers though his soft hair and caress his cheeks. She closed her eyes and turned away her head, she couldn’t think this now, she had to get away and just be with the pain, she needed to deal and then help Gabrielle, anger flashed at her name. Xena almost jumped with fright. The anger had been so strong but it was her best friend, she didn’t know. Xena let out a sigh and decided to deal with this big problem, nice problem, in front of her.
She watched him as he examined her face, not looking away or backing down, just staring back defiantly. Even as he felt her mind, she did not recoil, she made sure her doors were closed but she didn’t flinch, she hit him instead, not physically, that wouldn’t heard him, but she allowed him to feel her heartache. She watched him flinch, she vaguely sorry for doing it, hitting him when he thought all was safe, but he deserved it.
“Heartache, I hate that, hurts more than any other pain, I’ve heard.” He said seriously, not happy that she had hit him with it and then he smiled, he was amused, “Now I must meet this person, that could cause my princess so much pain and succeed where I have, unfortunately, though never completely, failed.” Xena just glared.
“You’ve done enough.” Her voice was venom and her face stony, in this mood, that had hit her, she was deadly.
“Whoa, what have I done now? I saw you crying and came to..”
“Gloat.” Xena finished acidly. “You don’t fell, you just use everybody else.”
“What? I caused you this pain?” Ares said having one of his rare moments of insight. He said it with concern in his voice.
Xena’s back went rigid, her teeth clenched, she hated to show him a reaction, but that concern, that concern was like pouring light into her eyes to blind her and scorch her skin. “get away from me!” She hissed through her teeth, “Leave me.” She was staring to quake, she was losing her control. Ares stood stock still, he hated seeing his princess like this, he caused her pain, he knew but that was fair, she had left him, it was his duty. This, though, this he couldn’t stand. She would hate him forever for causing this, for witnessing it. She was losing control and he couldn’t do anything, he wouldn’t leave and he couldn’t help, so he stood.
He couldn’t bare it though, “Please, Xena.” He pleaded, to Xena he looked almost venerable, but he couldn’t do this to her, she had to forget about him, not see his good side, not fall in love at the sight of him and then ache when he was gone. She couldn’t do this, it hurt too much. Hot tears fell down her cheeks, she was confused, she was letting her control slip and there wasn’t a thing she could do, except tell him, make him mad enough to leave, give him no choice.
“Don’t do that, Ares!” She almost yelled, “I can’t...I can’t..” She could hardily speak though the shuddering and the tears now. She was being so weak and so was he, this was not good, she couldn’t snap out of it, so she had to make him snap out of it. Xena, gritted her teeth, and forced herself to hurt him. She slapped him around the face, but it didn’t affect him, he took it, that wasn’t the right approach, she knew it wouldn’t have been. She was going to hate herself for what came out of her mouth and she knew it then, before the words were formed.
“You have never cared!” She stormed, “You play with people and then you forget! You go on whilst they crumple! Whilst they have to get through the next day! You ripped out my heart and then, then you made my best friend trample on it! You made her love you and you forgot about me! You..” Xena couldn’t go on, she couldn’t hurt the man she loved, she was just hurting herself, and her pride. She gave into the sobs and the shaking. Ares was on his knees, next to the tree. He moved closer to touch her, to try to make up for hurting her so much.
Xena wanted his hands to touch her to comfort her but it couldn’t be, when he came near, she shrunk back and saw a tear roll down Ares’ face as she did so. Now they had both broken each others hearts. Xena couldn’t stand it anymore and gave way to sleep and the nightmares that came with it.
Chapter two
Aphrodite was in tears when Ares appeared back on Olympus in his bed chamber.
“Oh Bro!” She wailed and ran over to him, giving him a hug. “Can you believe she reacted like that when she thought she would loose you? It breaks my heart, it’s so sweet, not that Warrior chick would dig being called sweet but…!” Aphrodite patted at her eyelids.
Ares was not in the mood for this, he had just left Xena, after putting her back in her bed roll in her camp. He was in a bad mood, he had hurt Xena and now she hated him. She thought he was nothing but a God, someone who uses everybody else for their own gains. It wasn’t always true.
“Aphrodite why are you here? And why were spying on me?”
“I wasn’t spying I watching, it’s my jobs ya know, to look over love. Duh! I thought you could do with a friend too, I mean….” She blubbed again.
Ares put his arms around Aphrodite, trying to comfort her, “It’ll be okay, she doesn’t love me anyway, not anymore, if she ever did.”
“She does Ares, man, she has a strong will, didn’t you see that struggle she had when she shouting at you? She was tearing herself apart Bro! It’s that stupid bard!”
“What did the Bard do?” Ares was intrigued, or at least as much as he could be in this mood, Xena had mentioned something about her best friend. He was little preoccupied at watching his heart break at the time as Xena tore it to shreds.
“She thinks she’s in love you.” Aphrodite said, “Which completely grosses me out!” Ares was sick, the bard in love with him, too? The bard that kept Xena away from him, the one he only spared because Xena would murder him if he killed her. Yuck!!
“Can’t you do something about that? Because that is just sick.”
“All fair in Love and War!” Aphrodite chimed, she obviously had something up her sleeve. She stepped into the aether and disappeared. “Just stay away from Xena.” He called half-heartily after her. He knew he would regret having Aphrodite involved, he just couldn’t care at the moment, he laid down on his bed and slept.
Xena woke up to the sound of Gabrielle pottering around. What was Gabrielle doing up? Xena knew that it was late but still, Gabrielle would sleep all day if you didn’t wake her.
“What’s wrong Gabrielle?” Xena called, wide awake now.
“Nothing, why would anything be wrong? I feel fabulous! Can we go to one of Ares’ temples today?” She questioned.
Xena felt her eyes go wide as she remembered last night and what she had done. Was Ares alright, she wondered, she hadn’t ever seen him cry and especially not over her. What was she going to do with Gabrielle? She knew now that Ares did not love her and taking her to Ares’ temple, which was only two days away might break her heart, but how could she refuse?
“The nearest temple is over two days away, Gabrielle. Why don’t we start to travel, but I don’t feel that good, so we’ll have to go slowly.” Xena hit herself, she was never ill, what would make Gabrielle think that she was.
“Yeah, you do look tried and you eyes are puffy, I guess we could take it slow, it’s better than waiting here.” Xena cursed herself, she hadn’t washed her face off when she got back. Umm.. I didn’t come back. Shit! Ares brought me back, he still cares about me. What do I do? Xena hung her head and switched off her brain, getting on with the daily routine, and going down to the stream to wash her face. It was when she was washing her face that she noticed the ring on her finger. It was a black rose, with the stem wrapping around her finger holding it in place. It looked so delicate, but so at home on her finger. She felt the tear slide down her face, but she didn’t care, there was now I subtle warmth in her heart. “Thank you, Ares.” She whispered and she knew he would hear it, she knew that he heard her every time that she said his name. She carried on getting ready and packed their things so that they could head for Ares’ temple. This should be fun… Xena thought sarcastically as they set off at a slow pace.
Ares woke up when he heard Xena thank him for the ring he had given her. Ares had had the ring for a while, always wanting to give it to her but never having the courage, last night had just seemed right and she liked it, and she still loved him and he saw her smile at it, in his minds eye and she left it on. They were heading towards his temple, he also noticed the slow pace Xena was setting, it was obviously Gabrielle that wanted to come there. Ares sighed, This was not going to be fun…
Chapter Three
“Come on uncle, you owe me after that trapped soul in my temple! You scared off most of my worshippers in those parts. Come on, Xena’ll appreciate it.”
“Aphrodite, you know perfectly well that it is forbidden to let anyone how isn’t dead into the Elysian Fields, but I will grant Perdicus an hour to speak with Gabrielle, here, in my castle, so that I can keep an eye on them.”
“Thanks, Unc, I knew ya couldn’t resist my charm!” She planted a kiss on Hades cheek then vanished. Hades tutted, he wasn’t supposed to grant wishes like that, but well, it was for Xena and her mortal friend and he had already broken the rules plenty over that pair. He vanished to, setting up the arrangements, to let Perdicus out for an hour.
“Come on Xena, you don’t look ill anymore, though you are getting paler the closer we get, are you really that ill? Can we not hurry just a little bit?”
Xena sighed, Gabrielle had been nagging her to pick up speed, I’m sure she would run it if she could, lets thank the Gods for small favours.
“Gabrielle, would you like me to fall off of Argo and take even longer, you aren’t being very compassionate.”
“I’m sorry Xena, but my love awaits. I ache for him.” Xena rolled her eyes, Ares better have something up his sleeves, else she might have to kill the bard through irritation. She glanced at her ring though, and smiled, she really wanted to see him. She couldn’t go faster though because she needed to give him time to realise what was happening and decide on a plan of action, perhaps if she had a word to him, you know a quick stop.
“Gabrielle,” She called, “Do you mind if we stop for a few moments, my water bag has run out. I want to fill it up at that stream. You can keep walking slowly if you want to.”
“Well… I’ll stay here on the road whilst you do it, hey, then perhaps we can go quicker.” Gabrielle said impatiently.
Xena headed Argo off the track, towards where she figured the stream might be, then when out of eyeshot from Gabrielle, she called for Ares.
“Come on Ares, this is important.” She called. Then she felt his presence and almost sagged. Even his presence seemed to caress her mind, she never really appreciated it until she thought she might loose him. She smiled to herself and turned around to look at Ares.
Ares watched as she turned to him and her eyes seemed to soften, his heart was leaping, she wasn’t angry with him. He smiled back at her, a delicate smile that he never wore.
“hello Xena.” He said., “Wondering what I’m going to do with Gabrielle when you arrive at my temple?” Xena nodded her head.
“I figured if you needed more time, we could get attacked, but I have no idea what you can do.”
“I don’t but I got Aphrodite on the case and she said, the last time I saw her that is, that she had it all under wraps and there was nothing to worry about.”
“Thank you.” Xena said.
“For what?” All he got in reply was a shrug though, Xena still wasn’t sure of him and she a right not to be. “She’s coming.” He whispered before he disappeared. Xena felt a loss at his leaving but she pushed it aside as Gabrielle came through the bushes.
“Xena, are you quite done.” She asked, taking the water bottle from Xena, “Yes, come on then, lets go.”
Xena followed Gabrielle out of the clearing and they were soon on their way again, but this time a little quicker because Xena’s urge for Ares had increased.
Chapter Four
Xena and Gabrielle could now see the temple, Xena prayed that everything would turn out alright for both Gabrielle and herself. They both picked up speed and by the time they reached the doors they were a little out of breath. Xena dismounted Argo and walked her to the stables, where she gave her to a priest, to take care of, this priest recognised her though, she hoped that the people inside didn’t, this would give them more time as they would have to fight them, unless Ares showed up.
Xena walked back to the front of the temple where she saw Gabrielle pacing back and forth. Xena walked up to her and touched her on the arm, to beckon her in. Xena opened the door and looked around for the priestesses, one came up to her, “How may we help you here at the temple to Lord Ares.”
“I just came to have a word with him.” Xena replied, glaring menacingly at the woman before her.
“I’m afraid that you have to make a contribution, take that sword for example.” The priestess eyed her sword greedily.
“Yeah, I’m sure Ares would love it, but since he gave it to me in the first place, it might seem like an insult.”
“Do not talk in such a flippant manner about our master, we demand a tribute or else you must leave.”
“No I don’t think so.” So said, hitting the priestess in the jaw with her elbow, not enough to knock her out though.
“Intruders!!” The priestess screeched. Xena smiled, she loved fighting Ares’ priestess’ they always thought they were so it, just because he slept with them sometimes, when he was bored. He sleeps with these people, I don’t! Xena got angry, and started on the back-up before they even got through the door. She, elbowed the first one in the head and knocked her out this time, that girl was slow, even Gabrielle could have seen that one coming and then she flipped over to the entrance where the back-up was entering. The priestesses were fairly good, to say that they were not warriors, none of them laid a hand on Xena but, they did work well together. Xena took care not to kill any of them, Ares would not be happy and it wouldn’t rest well on her conscience either It took her about ten minutes to waylay them all. Not bad if I do say so myself!. Xena thought admiring her handy work, the priestess’ were all unconscious in a bid pile in the middle of the room. Xena looked around, where was Gabrielle.
During Xena’s battle, Gabrielle couldn’t control herself anymore, she snuck by Xena, and headed towards Ares’ chambers, she didn’t get that far though, Aphrodite appeared in front of her. She was shocked by her appearance but before she knew it she was in the aether, with Aphrodite as yet not breathed a word.
Gabrielle appeared in what she guessed to be a castle, it had stone walls and had drapes hanging from the ceiling, it was also a little breezy and the room was extremely large. She looked around and saw a figure on the bed by the far right wall. (when I say far, I mean it), she hadn’t seen the figure at first because of the distance, but she did now and she didn’t believe her eyes. She started to walk over the other side of the room, with tentative steps and first and then into a sprint, she through herself into the arms of her beloved, Perdicus.
“I missed you so much! I love you, please don’t leave me.” She whispered into his collarbone.
“Oh, my gabby, I have to leave in an hour, I don’t really understand why I’m here but Hades said that it was a request by Aphrodite, in the name of true love.” Realisation dawned on Gabrielle, Xena and Ares. But she didn’t love Ares she never had, she had just fooled herself. She thought that Ares, a God, might be able to replace her Perdicus, but she was wrong, no-one would ever replace him. So instead, she had made a fool out of herself and tortured Xena and Ares in the process. Ares might deserve it but Xena didn’t!
“It doesn’t matter now, my love, they’ll work it out, but let us make the most of our hour together.” So they wrapped themselves up into each others arms and made love for what they knew would be the last time until Gabrielle died and both hoped that that wouldn’t be for a long time.
“Gabrielle!” Xena called out.
“She’s being taken care of, by Perdicus.” Ares replied, appearing in a shower of blue light. Xena was so glad to see him, something she had never been, never to just see him and be happy, there were usually so many other strings attached.
She walked slowly up to him, only a hint of a smile on her face, then she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. It was up to him to deepen the kiss and he did just that. They were both experiencing pure bliss, they were in each others arms and they were in love. When they were forced to come up for air, they still clung to each other.
“I could have lost you at anytime, Ares, why did anyone mention that I was in love with you?” She asked, half seriously at the last bit, she wished someone had.
“I did lose you Xena but I still didn’t let go, I just caused you agony. I didn’t understand the need for you than and I still don’t but I know what it is now, Xena, I love you.” Then they both began kissing again, needing to be closer as their passion for each other mounted and their control was on the verge of breaking.
“But..” Xena started, this wasn’t going to work, she knew it, but she couldn’t deny it.
“I know, princess, just for today okay? Just give me one whole day with you.”
“Always, I love you too, if you hadn’t noticed and I’m so sorry for what I said to you, but I was breaking, I had to..”
“Shhh, I deserved it. I pushed you.”
“No, you never deserved it, but I’ll make it up, somehow, if you’ll let me.”
“Just spent tonight and give me a whole day and I’ll be happy for eternity, my Sweet.”
With that she leapt up to him, capturing his lips in hers, building up their passion. They spent the whole night together and stayed awake until morning, so that they had all the time that they could together. It was the best night of their existences, and for Ares at least, that was something.
Gabrielle woke the next morning with no-one next to her, she remembered the hour they had had and how Perdicus had sung her to sleep so that they did not have to say a tearful goodbye. She was happy, her Perdicus was gone but, he had been for such a long time, she just hoped that she would meet some-one else, not to fill in his place, but to make her just as happy. She realised now that Perdicus would never come back and she did have to move on, not just cling on. She prayed that Xena would forgive her for her mistake, it didn’t matter though, at that moment, she was just happy to be alive and know that she was loved. She hoped everyone else could be as happy as she was. She also didn’t mind that she had been abandoned in a castle, she was sure someone would come for her eventually, so for now, she went back to sleep, knowing that only one person could wake her up.
“I’d better leave, hadn’t I? Before this gets too hard, if that isn’t already true.”
“Hey, I still have a whole day with you, remember, I want you to put Gabrielle in a safe place first though, we wouldn’t want our bard getting hurt would we?” he smiled, he was going to miss this closeness with Xena.
“Yeah. Don’t wait too long.”
“I don’t think I could.” They smiled at each other, briefly kissing,
“Just go to sleep in my arms Xena and you’ll be with Gabrielle when you wake up, I get the hard part.”
“I have to sleep, knowing that you won’t be there when I wake up.”
“I’ll always be there, just whisper my name and I’ll come running.”
“You promise? Coz I’ll hold you to it.”
“I promise.” He said laughing, as she did. Xena quietly, wrapped herself deeper into his arms, and closed her eyes. Ares kissed her eyelids shut and she was asleep within seconds. Ares laid there with her in his arms for ages, just listening to her soft, content breathing as he wallowed in the despair of losing her. He wasn’t losing her, he chided himself, he was just letting her live, instead of tying her down and making her unhappy, this was the only way for it to be. He dressed them both with a thought, pulling himself together and transported her to the forest with Argo, then he went and got Gabrielle, not waking her and set her down next to Xena, both on their bedrolls. Ares left a black rose, next to Xena with a not around the stem, simply saying I love you. He smiled then, he was doing the right thing and he still had one promised day with her, which he would come for. He could still visit her too. He wasn’t losing her, he was just letting her be her and that was who he loved. He vanished back to his castle, just before Xena woke up. He had stayed until the very last seconds, drinking in the sight of her.
When Xena woke up she was as was promised, with Gabrielle. She decided that they wouldn’t go home straight away, Xena wanted to last without Ares for as long as possible, so that when he did come it would be less time to spend without him.
She quietly got her things together, best get moving before I go running down the road screaming for Ares she thought. Gabrielle was happy to see her when she woke up and everyone was happy, Xena was happy, she had discovered that love is stronger than war itself, even though Ares would hate that assumption. She wondered what it would be like the next time they met, whether it might go back to how it was before, but she knew that it wouldn’t, they had both made a realisation. She also didn’t think he’d be making too many attempts to get her back either. They had an understanding and it would be a worse situation with her as a warlord anyway, and without Gabrielle, who’s little obsession brought them together. What did happen with her and Perdicus? Xena thought. Oh well She would have to ask the bard and being a bard she was sure to hear it all, at least twenty times!
She couldn’t wait for Ares to come to see her but for now she was happy just to lap up the warmth in her heart and walk along the road side, with Gabrielle, satisfied that she was wanted