By Tali
Rating: G
Sex: No
Violence: No, well not really.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Ares, Xena, Gabrielle (irritating blonde), or Joxer (warrior wannabe). I do own the interviewer. Please don’t sue I have no money. Feedback welcome, good or bad. Hopefully good. Read my interview with Gabby and Joxer first.
(Interviewer) Lisa: Good morning. This morning we get up close and personal with Ares God of War and talk about his much publicized affair the the Warrior Princess. Morning Ares.
Ares: Morning.
Lisa: Lets start by asking you what war means to you?
Ares: Well (pause) War means alot of things. Passion, love, peace.
Lisa: Peace? What about death and destruction?
Ares: Oh that too. But without war there would be no peace.
Lisa: (gives Ares a strange look but continues) Have you started any recent wars?
Ares: A few minor ones here and there.
Lisa: Now, you and Xena had quite a publicized affair, is that over or not?
Ares: Firstly, you can’t really call it an affair. Neither of us were seeing anyone at the time. Xena is a great woman and I care very deeply for her, in some ways I know it will never be over. (he pauses for a second) I am not at liberty to say if anything is still going on. We’re friends.
Lisa: Xena is a very skilled beautiful woman, what was it like the first time you saw her.
Ares: My heart stopped.
Lisa: It’s no secret you care for each other deeply, is marriage in the future?
Ares: I am not allowed to say, Warrior Princess’s orders. But all I know is she has been having some mighty strange dreams of late.
Lisa: Has Gabrielle butted in lately?
Ares: The Irritating Blonde has just hooked up with that Bumbling Warrior Wannabe, So no. She’s too busy with him. But Xena’s mother, Cyrene got in the way the other day.
Lisa: The way of what?
Ares: Ah, nothing. (Quickly changes the subject) I told you about Gabrielle and Joxer.
Lisa:I didn’t know they got together. Joxer asked me out when I met him.
Ares: That’s because you look like that little blonde thing so much. It only happened yesterday. It was a secret. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gabby is ready to hit me over the head with her staff when she hears I exposed her relationship.
Lisa: Why did you tell me?
Ares: Normally I would keep my mouth shut for Xena’s sake but Gabrielle did something really evil to me the other day.
Lisa: What?
Ares: (Pause, ashamed and hurt look) She painted one of my temples pink to bug me.
Lisa: (smiles and gets a deadly look from Ares so quickly stops)That’s all we have time for. Thank you for joining us Ares.
Ares: It was my pleasure.
Lisa: That was the God of War on love, life and annoying blonde sidekicks. (Sighs, now there is a Warrior Princess to interview)
The End