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Pizza Parody!


It was the 70's when we were all glued to that TV show with those dashing paramedics, calling Rampart on the phone, wishing you had a tape measure to measure Dr. Brackett and Nurse McCall's eyelashes to see whose were longer. Yes... it was a strange and wonderful time, and we're going to keep on singing about our favourite show. Why? Well... it's my personal neurosis... why should I discuss it with you? So here, for your enjoyment or torture, whichever the case may be, are more, more, more parodies!

Our first offering is sung to that Bob Seger Tune, "Old Time Rock and Roll"... so picture Tom Cruise or your favourite fireman... slidin' sock feet in a shirt and tighty whiteys... and get singing...



Old Time Seventies Show

Take those Emergency tapes off the shelf
I'll sit and watch 'em all by myself
Today's programs ain't got the same soul
I like that old time seventies show

Don't want to see ER or Third Watch
The blood and gore have been turned up a notch
Hurry and pass me the remote control
I like that old time seventies show

Gimme that old time seventies show
Dr. Brackett always soothes the soul
I reminisce about the days of old
And that old time seventies show

Don't wanna see the rescue personnel
Doing things no one's supposed to tell
In places where you'd hear a siren bell
I want that old time seventies show

Call me a relic, call me prudish too
I really don't remember askin' you
Flush today's stuff down the toilet bowl
I want that old time seventies show

Gimme that old time seventies show
The boys of 51 have got me sold
I reminisce about them, brave and bold
I want that old time seventies show

Still like that old time seventies show
The days before our innocence got stole
I reminisce about those days of old
And that old time seventies show...

May
OMGB #140

The boys of 51 have cooked and eaten many a strange concoction in their day. This is a tribute to some of those... interesting and even dangerous meals. To the tune of "On Top Of Old Smokey"... everybody ready... swallow that bite of Marco's chili and get singin'...



On Top Of Spaghetti

On top of spaghetti
And hot dogs with buns
The 51 fireboys
Make dinnertime fun

They barbecue steaks with
Some gross health food sauce
One look at that stuff makes
All my cookies toss

The cap does clam chowder
That Doc Early craves
When Stoker makes chicken
The firehouse raves

Roy's eggs make him grimace
He couldn't go on
And Gage's "gourmet" food
In minutes was gone

The Mirkles were smiling
But, their cooking was charred
The boys had to eat it
But, man, that was hard

Bill made a concoction
With cherries in it
And Gage had a great lunch
Of crackers to spit

Now this song is all of
This food I can take
Except maybe Daisy's
Deluxe chocolate cake

So, if you want food that
Surprises your taste
Visit Cap Stanley's station
But, you better say grace...

May
OMGB #140

Ok... we're thinking musicals now. Think, "The Sound of Music"... nuns... "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" Well, that's right, I have no shame... I've changed that song to suit our favourite firemen. You can picture them dressed as nuns if you want the full "Sound of Music" effect, but I'm not responsible if you have a stroke laughing over that. Ok... ready... get singin'...



How Do You Solve a Problem Like DeSoto?

How do you solve a problem like DeSoto?
How do you get the guy to have some guts
He's gotta consult his wife to buy Doritos
He's making himself to look like such a putz...

How do you solve a problem like DeSoto
Cute as can be, but such a hen-pecked man?
How do you solve a problem like DeSoto?
How do you get those pants off of Joanne????

How do you solve a problem like that Gage man?
How do you let him know that's he's absurd?
Tell him that all those pick-up lines he uses
Are the geekiest things that you have ever heard...

Many a-times you know I'd like to help him
Many a thing you'd think he'd understand
How do you solve a problem like that Gage man
Touched By An Angel, could you lend a hand?

(interlude... music... mood... firemen dressed like nuns)

How do you solve a problem like Mike Stoker?
Rarely a word gets spoken by that man
Was it a tearful trauma in his childhood
That causes him to close up just like a clam?

How do you solve a problem like Mike Stoker?
I heard him speak once, so I know he can...
How do you solve a problem like Mike Stoker?
He must be a Marcel Marceaux fan...

How do you solve a problem like Chet Kelly
Heart on his sleeve for Herbert's furry hide?
When he heard the trap, a pit was in his belly
He felt so relieved when Herb was not inside.

Many a-times he's caught Gage as the phantom
Many a thing he's done to get the guys
How do you solve a problem like Chet Kelly
Try a date with Daisy on for size...

May
OMGB #140

I'm tickled pink whenever guest writers give me permission to print out their parodies here. Here are a couple of parodies penned by Cindy, Gage Brigade member 22. Enjoy!

OK, get ready for another revamped oldie. Turn back your minds to the British invasion of 1964. The song is "Station 51" sung to the tune of "Sunny Afternoon", a Kinks classic.



Station 51

(Guitar Intro)

To find some cute heroic guys
Who pass the time by saving lives
In a place called Station 51
With Marco, Mike and Chet
and Cap and Roy and John you bet
All hang out at Station 51

Save me, save me, save me all you guys
Fire up big red and watch that engine fly
The squad is on the same run too
I'll look out for you know who
Working out of Station 51
In the nick of time
In the nick of time
In the nick of time

With Chet and Marco fighting flames
Mike works the pumps, Cap plays no games
Roy and John treat victims of the fire
Just one of many calls
Crashes, fires and nasty falls
For the men of Station 51

Help me, help me, help me fifty one
Working twenty four hours then your shift is done
With inspections, dogs and cooking woes
Stepping on each others toes
All right here at Station 51
In the nick of time
In the nick of time
In the nick of time

Ah, save me, save me, save me Roy and John
I can't catch my breath, I need some oxygen
Cause you guys are just two living dreams
Cutest guys I've ever seen
Many thanks to Station 51
In the nick of time
In the nick of time
In the nick of time
In the nick of time
In the nick of time
(Guitar fadeout)

Cindy
OMGB #22

And yet another offering from Cindy. Bluesy and easy-feelin, this is supposed to be firefighter Johnny Gage's perspective on his job. Sing along. You won't regret it... nobody here will even tell that you sang it... our lips are sealed...

Rescue State of Mind



Some folks thank their lucky stars
For who we are and the things we do
Whether day or night, on the street
Or in a zoo
To me it's just a job
I do it all the time
I'm in a rescue state of mind

I've seen all the mangled cars
And the gangland wars and their aftermath
Been high in the Sierras in an inferno's path
But I know where I'm needed
And I rush to where trouble lies
I'm in a rescue state of mind

Out on the road rushing from call to call
Transporting victims to the treatment rooms
Tragedies, misfortunes, I've seen them all
The raging fires, the gunshot wounds

When it comes time to get away
Take a holiday with my partner Roy
To spend our time fishing, a week to enjoy
We end up saving climbers
It's in my blood I find
I'm in a rescue state of mind

Out on the road rushing from call to call
Transporting victims to the treatment rooms
Tragedies, misfortunes, I've seen them all
The raging fires, the gunshot wounds

In dangerous situations
There's a sensation of accomplishment
Whether it's in a high rise or a backyard tent
But I'll take fires and mudslides
Over shootouts every time
I'm in a rescue state of mind

To me it's just a job, I do it all the time
'Cause I'm in a rescue state of mind

Cindy
OMGB #22


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