The Bradys don't live here anymore
The hit drama Once and Again takes a realistic look at family life, warts and all.

BYLINE: Jeff Weingrad -- With close to half of American families living amid the fallout of divorce, remarriage and life in between, it should be no surprise that ABC's drama Once and Again (Mondays, 10 p.m. ET) is a freshman hit. Like the TV show's characters, many parents and kids today are coping with two generations of household dating. In their latest take on life, creators Ed Zwick and Marshall Hershkovitz, who were so good at capturing multigenerational angst in thirtysomething and My So-Called Life, deliver up realistic people searching for the right answers - which they don't always find.

Once and Again's core story features Sela Ward and Bill Campbell, left, as 40-somethings passionately engrossed in a new relationship. But there are problems every step of the way, with their love life inevitably intersecting with their work lives, their kids and their ex-spouses. Added to that is a constant struggle to find an equanimity in their emotional core, something all the characters wrestle with and lay bare as they speak their thoughts directly to the camera and viewers. In another reflection of real life, all the show's generations, including the grandparents, are aswirl with difficulties, challenges, happiness and unhappiness.

For a while, in fact, the same could be said of ABC with regard to the show's success. Its good reviews and solid ratings left the network in a bit of a pickle: Once and Again was supposed to make way in mid-November for the return of NYPD Blue. But not wanting to fiddle with Once and Again's success, ABC decided to keep it on Tuesdays through the fall and shelve Blue until January. That led to an outcry from Blue producers, players and fans, and a rash of media coverage.

Once and Again returned on a new night in January, but its themes remain constant. Ward's Lily, stuffed with insecurities, is determined to find some peace of mind, not only for herself but for her two kids as well. And Campbell's Rick struggles with similar issues involving himself and his two kids. "The theme for me," says Campbell, a real-life bachelor, "is that making sense of life is an ongoing endeavor. It's not like The Brady Bunch. You don't just have an epiphany and everything's fine from then on."

The show offers no neatly packaged solutions. "We're never prescriptive," Hershkovitz explains. "But we are very interested in several issues. Like what it means to be an adolescent today. And how baby boomers, a generation that identified itself in terms of its opposition to authority, are all struggling to create a new paradigm of parenting that doesn't fit the old map. Every parent I know grapples with the question of what's the right thing to do."

While that answer might be forever elusive, there are surely some constants that both parents and kids would be well-served to keep in mind. For instance, suggests Shane West, who plays Rick's 16-year-old son, Eli, "Parents have to be there for their kids. Just talk to them. And kids, while it's tough for them, have to be fair and not try to run their parents' lives."

Not that that'll make it all smooth sailing, offered Ward, real-life mom to two young children. Blending a new romance into an ongoing family life, she says, is "never going to be ice cream for the kids. It's a difficult situation. I think all you can do is love them as much as you can and try to show them that."

No matter how parents choose to deal with this situation, they should avoid tossing curveballs at their kids, says Mark Vogel, a New York psychologist and family therapist. "It's a good rule in general not to spring surprises on your child, and that's especially true in a volatile situation like this," he notes. "Kids are often just waiting for the next shoe - or, as they see it, bomb - to drop. Try to introduce a new partner gradually."

TV divorce over the decades

Since the mid-'60s, divorce has been inescapable in prime time. Marriage got especially precarious with the rise of "relevant" sitcoms in the early '70s. Some standout series in which divorce plays a major role:

Peyton Place (1964-69). Betty married and divorced Rodney, then married and divorced Steven, then remarried Rodney - solidifying divorce as a commonplace plot element in prime time.

Maude (1972-78). The embodiment of women's lib, divorcee Maude (and her fourth husband) took in divorced daughter Carol to help her cope with single motherhood.

One Day at a Time (1975-84). The premise, which brought lots of laughs and tears: Divorce after 17 years of marriage leaves Mom to make ends meet and do right by her two teen daughters.

Dallas (1978-91). A gusher of divorces and rekindled romances, with battling brothers J.R. and Bobby both dissolving their unions, then reuniting with their respective exes, Sue Ellen and Pam.

Friends (1994- ). Ross' first wife left him for a woman. His second marriage ended at the altar. And last year, in an inebriated fog, Ross and Rachel wed, then sobered up and divorced.__USA Weekend (March 5, 2000)