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Pretender Quotes


Gee, Syd I know you are blind. I just didn't realize deaf and
dumb came with the package.
---Miss Parker

Miss Parker and Sydney

Miss Parker-Do you think my revenge is misguided?
Sydney-If you have to ask you are answering your own question.
Miss Parker-No, defence Syd, you can't see it from where I stand
Sydney-But I don't have to I have known you since you were a little girl, Parker you will never let this go. I want to help, like him, you are worth it.

Sydney-I was in the shower
Miss Parker-Thanks for painting that one for me

Sydney-How do you think he will hold up
Miss Parker-Before of after he wets his pants

Miss Parker-Gee, Syd I know you are blind. I just didn't realize deaf and dumb came with the package.
Sydney-You don't understand, Parker.
Miss Parker-It's crystal clear. You sold your soul to save your ass. I just hope you don't get burned by the guy with the horns and the little red pitch fork.

Miss Parker-You gave Jarod information. Information you stole...from...me.
Sydney-Miss Parker, please.
Miss Parker-No! Sydney I'm out there risking my ass for Broots while your in here working behind my back. You want to tell me that's not true.
Sydney-Parker, does Lyle know about this.
Miss Parker-For now, no. You want to tell me why I shouldn't give him that myself.
Sydney-Sit down. Please.

Sydney-What about Lyle?
Miss Parker-Leave him here to run his circus.

Broots, Sydney, and Miss Parker

Broots-True. Lets face it, that place has been different since
Miss Parker-Go ahead Broots, say it. Every since Raines was shot
Sydney-Well, don't look at me. I'm no marksman.
Broots-Hey, I didn't even want to take a gun, remember.
Miss Parker-Well, if I would have shot sterno head he would be snoring through dirt right now unstead of filling bed pans in the Centre burn unit.

Broots-Apparently, Ricky met his wife overseas. They were both worked at a Catholic charity in Africa.
Sydney-[snickers]
Miss Parker-This amuses you
Sydney-Jarod wants people to believe you are a missionary. [Ha Ha Ha]

Broots to Debbie-We'll have great fun
Miss Parker-Broots!
Broots-Or not.

Miss Parker-If you hurt her, I'll make it my business to hunt you down and kill you.
Broots-I know you will.

Broots-Have you gone crazy?
Miss Parker-Everybody has.

Sydney-Last night I went on a date.
Broots-You went on a date!
Miss Parker to Broots-That's when two people actually meet instead of typing to each other over a computer keyboard.

Broots to Miss Parker-You look so cold. It's so strange, what with you giving me a hard time, all the time but I know you don't mean it. I know it's just your way. You're always been there for me whenever I needed someone, there was you. And you probably can't hear me. I just wanted you to know...other than Debbie...I feel closer to you...than to anyone. Miss Parker...Oh...you know you...you can't leave me...Miss Parker. Don't be afraid.
Miss Parker-MMM....
Broots-Don't be afraid, Miss Parker.

Jarod and Miss Parker

Miss Parker-What?
Jarod-They say it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Do you believe that's true?
Miss Parker-If you're lonely call a 900 number.
Jarod-How did we end up like this?
Miss Parker-Like what?
Jarod-Alone, searching. It's ironic because we both want the same things: someone to care about us. Do you thinkwe'll everfind that kind of love in our lives?
Miss Parker-What do you want from me Jarod?
Jarod-Open the box.

Jarod-The fact is you only know what the Centre wants you to know.
Miss Parker-What do you want from me?
Jarod-The same you want from me. A little trust.
Miss Parker-I have to go.
Jarod-Be careful Miss Parker. Remember what your mother used to say, "Trust can kill you or set you free."

Jarod-How Daddy make out?
Miss Parker-Better than yours will when I find him.

Jarod-Well, well. How well do you know your father now, Miss Parker?
Miss Parker-Coming to the wedding.
Jarod-I'm not big on bride's in black leather. Although, this a certain enjoyment irony in it.
Miss Parker-Funny, I'm not seeing it.
Jarod-Oh, give her a chance.
Miss Parker-Chance to what suck the rest of the life out of my father.
Jarod-Love can change people, Miss Parker. [ends call. Laughes.]

Jarod-Well, what do you know, Miss Parker reached out to help someone.
Miss Parker-Spare me.
Jarod-Your mother would've have been very proud of you.
Miss Parker-You put on quite a show today. Sydney taught you well.
Jarod-Sydney taught me to believe that you can be anything you want to be.

Jarod-How does it feel to be the prey instead of the predator?
Miss Parker-You wouldn't be the prey if you got back to the Centre where you belong.

Miss Parker and Lyle

Miss Parker-What happened to you?
Lyle-Jarod's little brother wanted some information.
Miss Parker-Kyle is here?
Lyle-We negotiated. I lost.
Miss Parker-Doesn't anyone ever really die anymore.

Lyle-You know the fact that your my sister doesn't change one thing. You are beautiful when you're angry.
Miss Parker-You never seen me angry.

Sydney-I'm afraid Mr. Lyle does not share your sense of loyalty.
Lyle-Centre reality check. Broots is expendable, I'm not sure a monkey couldn't do what he does.
Miss Parker-I can't believe you weren't spawned under some rock, unstead of being born from the same flesh and blood I come from. As much as I hate to admit it, Broots is more a brother to me than you ever be. I won't throw him out like a piece of garbage.
Lyle-Hark, do I hear violins playing?
Miss Parker-Lyle, reality check. I am getting to the bottom of the Centre problem without sacrificing Broots in the process.

Miss Parker-And where the hell have you been?
Lyle-I've been...occupied. You look frustrated.
Miss Parker-Well, your monkeys seem to have a bit of trouble peeling this banana.
Lyle-We're all just trying to find the answer Miss Parker. My sweepers have also been unable to locate Broots' daughter. Have any idea where she is?
Miss Parker-Do I look like a babysitter? So, let me get this straight. They can send a man to the moon but neither of you can open Broots' system to back track to see who the leak is in this place.
Man employee-We're searching.
Miss Parker-Search faster.

Miss Parker-I believe Mr Lyle was just leaving.
Lyle-Well, I am really impressed with what you don'tknow. I would love it if you could surprise me with something we can work with.
Sydney-I believe the two of you are taking the concept of sibiling revilry to a new levels.
Miss Parker-Excuse me Syd, I have work to do.

Miss Parker, Daddy, and Brigitte

Miss Parker-Daddy...Oh my God.
Brigitte-Hi, Miss Parker.
Miss Parker-Not Brigitte.
Brigitte-Look, I'm going to be your new mommy.
Miss Parker-You're going to marry the Bit...the woman who tried to kill you.
Mr. Parker-Oh, come on Angel. Be happy for me.
Brigitte-Honey bunny.
Mr. Parker-MM...MMM.
Brigitte-I'm your new Angel now.

Misc. Quotes

Female other-You know, he and I dated a few times. Has he ever mentioned me?
Miss Parker-Oh yes. He often reminisce about...playing tonsil hockey after the Saturday night Hootenanny

Miss Parker-Jarod's a pain in the ass but his not heartless.

Miss Parker-That Bitch is like a bad cough.

Miss Parker-Then he would certainly fit in around here.

Miss Parker-Believe it coocoo boy is there.

Miss Parker-Bus is leaving. Save you a seat.

Miss Parker-There's one less vacant in hell.

Miss Parker-It's time I shook up the family tree and see who falls out.

Miss Parker-Gar couldn't light a stick of dynamite if he had a map to the fuse.

Miss Parker-The ken doll here, corrected over night....

Jarod-The Parker family picnic won't be the same.

Miss Parker-I want to kill her, not screw her.

Jarod-Same bat time, same bat channel.

Miss Parker-There better be booze in the courtesy bar or someone's going to pay.

Jarod-But you can and pick up your blonde now.

Miss Parker-I need a drink. A big one.

Miss Parker to Angelo-Are you my brother?

Miss Parker- Sometimes I think you and I are the only one around here who are sane. Which doesn't say much about me.

Jarod-Well it's a mad, mad world.

Miss Parker-I have a gun and I'll use it.

Miss Parker-Do you want me to hurt you?

Miss Parker to Brigitte-Broots maybe an idiot, but he's my idiot. The only one who terrorises him is me.

Miss Parker to Broots-Did you eat the whole onion for breakfast?

Miss Parker to Debbie-These are the house rules: no running, no playing, no feet on the furniture, and no noise, which includes crying and whining. Be invisible and we'll get along just fine.

Miss Parker-Cousin It woke up and remembered he was Libarace.

Jarod-Is there something wrong Mr. Broots?
Broots-Yeah...I, uh...I forgot the number.

Broots-I don't give a damn about me. I'm concerned about my daughter.

Broots-Whoa...that's what I call a clean up.

Jarod-It does to me!

Sydney-Jarod, didn't I teach you how to tie a tie?
Jarod-Yes, yes you did.

Miss Parker-Home movies Broots?

Angelo-Miss Parker needs Faith but Faith is dead.

Feed Back

These are some of the quotes I like. If you have any you would like to add feel free to email me. I will get them up as soon as possible. There are more I hope to add soon.

G. Barton