Finished my BSMC course yesterday, and my first aid course today, which were both quite useful and interesting courses. It was definitely a better way to spend my week than slugging it away at McDonald's all the time. I'd have to say that I did learn a lot of stuff, and I have qutie a few good ideas to take back to the restaurant.

We're going away for the weekend, finally after so long I'm actually getting away for the weekend, going on a little roadtrip up to Mangawhai Heads to have a nice relaxing weekend. It's what I really need, and although this hasn't been a particularly long and stressful week I really feel like a break and I know that Nats could do with one too. So I know that I'm looking forward to sleeping most of the weekend and getting a little bit of fresh air out of the city.

I started my Basic Shift Management Course today, at McDonald's Head Office. It was a pretty long day, from 7:30am till almost 6pm, although quite interesting and definitely a change from my normal shift work. We learned all sorts about Human Relations skills and Communication skills which was quite interesting, although I'd like to think that I was pretty good at it even before today. Things got a little boring in the afternoon, although that's probably because by then I was feeling rather asleep and even the most exciting stuff ever would have probably bored me.

After reading the Harry Potter books last week, my sister showed me how obsessed some people actually are with Harry Potter, and brought me into the world of fan-fiction. A couple of rather obsessive people have basically written another three Harry Potter books, which I would assume are just as long as the ones by JK Rowling if not even longer. I know that one of the 'chapters' I was reading was 30,000 words itself, and there were like 8 chapters in the book. Surprisingly enough, they're incredibly well written, to the extent where at times I almost forgot that I wasn't reading one of the actual books, just a story written by a fan on the net. There are some rather odd plot twists, but it's definitely worth a read for those people out there who devour each new book as soon as it comes out, and can't wait for the next one.

On a related note, I felt really odd last night when I finished reading one of the 'chapters' and went to bed. Not a bad odd, but a good odd feeling - one which I definitely don't get that often. I felt really, really confident in myself that I have developed a shit load as a person in the past few years and that I'm actually not a bad guy. Maybe it's a little hard to explain, but I think that maybe when I was reading the stories I was identifying myself with Harry Potter and while realising how much he'd developed since the proper books (the story was set in Harry's last year at Hogwarts) kind of figured out that I should be confident in who I am and how I've turned out. I don't know whether I can put my finger on exactly what this feeling was, or why I indeed felt that way, I only really know that it was similar to how I sometimes feel after I've written a really good university essay or got a really good mark for an essay. But as I hadn't actually done anything last night, who knows why my screwed up mind worked like it did.

Last week was pretty long, work seemed to be really really tiring - even more so than it was during the school holidays - which meant that at the end of my shifts on quite a few days I felt like going to sleep. I don't know whether that had anything to do with my sleeping patterns, as last week was probably the coldest in Auckland for at least a couple of years, which can upset my sleeping patterns. But who knows, I always seem to be having 'good weeks' and 'not-so-good weeks', maybe last week was just one of the latter and my body was just telling me that I needed a break.

Forunately next week should be somewhat different to the pattern my life has assumed lately. I'm going on my Basic Shift Management Course from Monday to Thursday, which should be quite interesting. I spent about four hours yesterday getting my management folder up to scratch so that I was nice and prepared for next week, and hopefully it'll be a week which is different, interesting and I might even learn something.

My emotions seem to be acting qutie strange lately. Normally I consider myself a rather emotionally stable person (probably a little bit too stable if that makes any sense), but it seems that in the last week or two I'm having good days, then really bad days and everything is just jumping up and down like a yo-yo. Over the last couple of days it's shortened again, to the extent that I felt really good this morning, then felt like ratshit around lunch time, then really good again in the afternoon and at dinner, then like crap again shortly after that only to know feel OK again. And this has been quite normal for me lately, and certainly isn't normal for me in general. I can normally say whether or not I'm 'happy' with my life at this point of time, things weren't that great about a month ago but they seemed to be picking up. But now it seems as though everything's changing many times in a day - I'm happy with how things are going but then it all changes and I feel like crap and that something needs to change. But not long after that I'm feeling good again, not just normal 'blah... not too bad' but actually feeling like "hey, my life is pretty cool at the moment." Is this just a stage, a sign that my life really is on a bit of a tightrope at the moment, not deciding whether to turn things into shit or whether it's time to start a really good stage. Obviously I hope for the latter, but it never seems like I can do anything about how things are going to turn out, I just have to wait and see...

Neutral: Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the
world in a negative or positive way and you'll
never judge or assume a situation- you just
look at the facts. People like you are peaceful
and accepting.
Made by
Sara

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm not sure whether I should interpret the above quiz as a load of bullshit, or something that is rather enlightening given the state of my life at the moment. Is the fact that I see the world in neutral a sign that I can't decide the kind of person that I want to be, and just seem to be going along with everything in the world simply because that's the easier way of doing things. Or is it just something quite random - as you can't really tell that much from only 5 or 6 questions... ever the sceptic.

It's 'only' been three days since I last updated, although it seems like an age since I went on the net. I've been spending as much of my waking hours as possible over the last couple of days reading the most recent Harry Potter book, the Order of the Phoenix. Maybe now that I've read the last book I'll be able to get back to my normal life, as I am the kind of person who doesn't read too many books but when I do I tend to get completely absorbed by them and try to finish them off as quickly as possible. The next book will be very interesting, although I don't know when it's coming out - as the book I just read only came out a matter of weeks ago I guess that I've got a pretty long wait for the next one.

In other news, Nats is back to university for the first time in a while. Although you only 'really' have three weeks holiday in the middle of the year, I remember that because of study break and exams you actually end up having about six weeks of no lectures and classes - which is quite a significant period of time. Six weeks, that was the length of my primary school christmas holidays - which seemed to take forever (in a really good way). So I guess it's been a little odd for Nats going back to class after quite a break (I can just imagine what it's going to be like for me at the start of next year after almost a year and a half's break), although this semester should be a little easier for her, only doing three papers compared to four. I know that extra paper makes the world of difference, when you're only doing three papers the essays and assignments don't really seem to get totally out of hand - as is what always inevitably happens when you've got four papers. You sort out when you're going to do everything for three of them, but then you remember the essay you had for your fourth paper which is due the same day as something else and it totally screws up your schedule.

Work has been pretty normal over the last couple of days, school holidays is over which is a relief in some ways - as we're not being rushed off our feet all the time. But at the same time university is back, as I've already mentioned, so we're definitely busier than we were in the few weeks uni had off just before the school holidays. I've got my Basic Shift Management Course next week, which should be quite interesting, althought I've got quite a lot to do before then, to make sure that the folder which I'm completing is all up to date and has everything which is needed (and I know that it's not even close to that) before I go to the course next week.

I read the last 400 pages of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire last night, all in one hit which is pretty impressive for me as a book can't usually hold my attention for quite that long. The book seemed to be meandering along, then got really exciting and I just motored through the rest. It's funny comparing books with movies, I've always thought that I could sit through a movies which isn't too great a lot easier than reading a book which I didn't find that interesting. Obviously, reading takes a bit more effort than watching a movie - you can always stare half-glazed at the screen watching Bruce Willis kill bad guys a lot easier than reading a boring book about 16th century nobility. But, on the other hand in some ways reading a really, really good book is a lot more rewarding intellectually than watching a really good movie - probably because you use your brain a lot more to create an image of what's going on in the book inside your head so therefore it absorbs you a lot more than a movie will. I have found that reading two of the Harry Potter books lately has occupied my mind a lot more than if I had just watched the movies - although I am looking forward to seeing the movie of the third book when it comes back next year - I find myself dreaming about using spells to help myself in tricky situations or talking to characters in the book. I don't normally dream about movies, although I do about computer or playstation games if I've spent too much time that day playing a particular game. It's curious how my mind works...

On a related note, I finally took the quiz which everyone seems to be taking at the moment, and unsurprisingly found out the following result:

It's the end of the week, a week which has actually been pretty long when I think about it. There seems to be something odd about the last week, where it just seems to have never happened. I remember what was going on last week, I felt sick and had most of the week off - but that seems like all that really happened. The last five days seem to have just totally disappeared off the map, as one would say. I guess in that time I've been working at McDonald's Head Office quite a bit, and I do remember that. But Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday seem like a distant blur now. Maybe that all goes back to the fact that I fell asleep unexpectedly on Wednesday night and then woke up in the middle of the night for a while, which always seems to screw up my internal bodyclock.

But anyway, work was pretty boring today. I've decided that 2-10 is just about the worst 8 hour shift that you can possibly do, simply because everything's the same right throughout your shift. At least if I'm doing something like a 7-3 there's constant change in what's happening: you start off with breakfast, get a bit of a rush, then focus on the transition to regular menu, have a bit of a break between 10:30 and 12, and then you're into the lunch rush. After that you're basically finished your shift. But 2-10 is just constant steady, no change really throughout your shift which makes the time drag on and on. It was the last day of the school holidays today, so next week will probably be significantly quieter than we've been this week or last. Maybe it's a chance for us to take a bit of a breather, but then time just seems to go much slower when it's quiet so busy can be a good thing.

Nats has gone away for the weekend, down to Lake Tarawera, very lucky to get out of the city as I'm starting to feel a little cabin-feverish, having not really got out of Auckland at any stage this year so far. I definitely think it's time for a good road trip, only problem is that always costs money we don't really have. At the moment it seems like everything coming in automatically has some place it needs to go, and once all the bills are paid, etc. there's hardly anything left to actually see as the result of a long hard week's work, which can be rather depressing. Hopefully it's just a case of digging myself out of a bit of a hole which came as the result of a little too much spending all at the same time. I'm sure I'll be able to have some savings eventually......

I worked almost 14 hours today, half normally at Queen St and then the rest at Head Office. Being at head office is usually pretty cool, as everything doesn't generally happen in such a great hurry and there's not quite so much stuff to do. But then on the down side you need to be doing everything absolutely perfectly, no short-cuts or anything which can be a bit of a pain.

Work has been really busy lately, which has left me feeling half-asleep by the end of each day. As it's the school holidays we're getting a lot more people than normal coming into the store, especially between midday and about 5pm. While this is undoubtedly good for business, it means that your shift can get totally stuffed if you're not careful, and everything seems to be happening so quickly that you need to be totally onto it. It's obviously very good practice for me, and I'm hopefully learning enough about running shift to begin to be able to do it without thinking what I really should be doing and just knowing what needs to be done etc. as is generally what happens if I'm doing anything except running shift.

I've finished reading the third Harry Potter book, and read my way through about half the fourth book extra quick. I always wondered what all the fuss was about, I saw the movie for the first book and thought that it was OK, but not spectacular. But maybe the books are either better than the movie (although I generally do prefer movies to books), or the third book is just a better story. Weirdly enough, the book I'm reading at the moment (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) seems to have the same amount of story as the third one, but for some reason is almost twice as long. Maybe J.K. Rowling developed her writing to the point where she takes longer to say what she needs to say, or maybe there's just something extra that I'm missing.

My cold has just about disappeared, at long last. The whole of last week seemed to take forever, as time always crawls when you're feeling sick. After four days off work it seemed a little odd, although I should be used to having breaks from it all - I've worked probably without any longer than a 2 day break for the past three months so it was strange having the time off. It's school holidays at the moment, so work has been a little bit busier than normal - probably about what it was normally last year sales-wise, although nowhere near as busy as how I remember our school holiday weeks last year.

It was a pretty quiet weekend for me and Nats, I worked on Saturday and then went to my friend Grace's 21st birthday that evening before having an incredibly long sleep that night and not waking up until 3pm on Sunday. There's something immensely satisfying about sleeping on and on, not worrying about times you might have to wake up to go to work or anything. Weekends are GOOD.

I really do wish that I had more to write about, but the fact of the matter is that shit all has been going on in my life lately. It just seems that winter's too bloody cold at the moment to do anything more than lie in bed reading Harry Potter, or to be at work. When my parents called to see how I was, I literally had nothing to report ... uh... I worked on Saturday and then slept on Sunday. Maybe this is just a bit of a slow stage in my life, I know that it's only really been the last couple of days which I've felt back to 100% health so I guess everything slows you down a little.

I'm sure that at one stage of my life I wrote daringly witty insights on this page, intertwining my life experiences with those of others and placing a unique perspective on it all. (Hey, I did an online IQ test last night and got 133, albeit with a little help, so I need to use long words). But these days it just seems as though when I can be bothered writing anything it's because I don't want to let the page fall into disrepair and abandonment, like I see so many other people so. At the moment livejournal seems to be the rage. Nats, Ella and heaps of their friends have them. Maybe it's time for me, although as has been the case in the past I generally try to ignore these 'trends' and just keep doing what I've been doing for the past two and a half years now. Anyway, enough blabbering on about nothing, what happened in the life of Josh today?

I feel slightly better today than I did yesterday. My fever has basically disappeared (touch lots of wood), although I feel like I'm drowning as my nose and chest seem full of liquid. I'm not working tomorrow as well, which should hopefully mean that I'm much better by Thursday. So it's been a pretty boring day I must say, there's only so many times you can play Warcraft III and Cricket 2002 before they become so god damned repetitive! I guess the one good thing about this week is that I'm finally going to screw McDonald's over for some sick pay. Three and a half years and I've never taken anything (I've never really been that sick while working fulltime), so I guess that I can take some comfort that I'm getting paid $10 an hour to cough and sniffle.

Finally I've got my shit together and created my July page - about time too as we're now a week into July. I've been pretty sick over the past couple of days, when I woke up yesterday I knew that things weren't quite right as I had really strange and vivid dreams the night before and felt slightly feverish. Sure enough, after about an hour working I felt like total, utter ratshit and had to ask Nats to come and pick me up. Then for the rest of yesterday my fever got worse and worse, my mind was racing like nothing else which was a pain as I couldn't sleep. Luckily things finally calmed down a little this morning after I took a couple of painkillers for my headache. So I feel a little better today, except once the temperature dropped this evening my fever began to come back a little.

Not really that much else to say, as I've basically spent the last day and a half in bed. The weather is so friggin cold at the moment it feels like we're in the South Island or that it's 7am in the morning when it's actually the middle of the afternoon. I know that the cold weather hasn't agreed with me at all, and is probably the reason why I'm feeling so crap.

It has been another long week, although quite different and interesting in some ways as I ran the shift for 4 days this week and spent Thursday at Head office helping out there. On Thursday I also got an interesting offer, as the person who I was working for at the Head office said that they were planning to open it permanently so people working there could buy lunch on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and they want me to run the whole thing. Now going from a trainee shift manager to looking after a whole store (of sorts) is fairly impressive I must say. So work has been interesting this week, as I'm learning more and more about what is needed to run a shift, and realising that you do feel responsible for the whole place and that can be quite stressful. You can't just say "oh.... it's up to so-and-so to make sure that's done", you have to ensure that everything is running smoothly and that everything is being done properly.

Work has been eating up too much of my life lately I think, even when I'm not there I seem to be thinking about it all - analysing what went well today and what I need to improve upon and so on. Maybe it's just me, I'll always try to do things perfectly and analyse it all, even when it's something that probably isn't THAT important in the whole long term scheme of things. I'm also dreaming about work all the time, which is pretty pathetic when you think about it. I probably need a bit of a holiday, but for various reasons my money has totally disappeared meaning that I really can't afford to work any less than I am at the moment. So I guess that'll have to wait...

I am sure that soon I'll start updating this page much more frequently eventually. Just at the moment I either can't be bothered, or I'm too busy doing something else. Hopefully this is just a stage, and I know that next year I'll probably update a lot more often - as always seems to be the case when I'm at university. Talking about uni, I should probably start checking out what papers are available next year and start planning my masters. Geez, it really doesn't seem that long ago I sat my last exam, and finished my last lecture for my bachelors.